Printed pants (AM)

I bet you don't need me to tell you about the proliferation of printed pants. You go through years, fashion movement after fashion movement, with nothing like a printed pant, funny colours maybe, a check here or there and then, whammo, wack ass prints everywhere! And first you think, "that is some wack shit, what are people thinking?!" And then as time wears on, you wear down and start thinking, "Should I be wearing printed pants?" First you push it out of your mind knowing you are probably just tired and weak but then you start seeing things, thinking, "But maybe they are cool".

It's not that I was seeing random women in printed pants and coveting them. Let me make it clear that I think the majority of print pants look shit, it was the Obus Instagram feed that started me thinking maybe I was missing out on something.

  

The thing is that I look at these pants now and I know they are ugly, but for some reason I kept thinking about them. This print also comes in a legging which I thought may be acceptable. Until, of course, I realised none of it was acceptable. I don't even really love the print, but something about their styling on Instagram just kept me going back to look at them. 

I'm happy to report that so far my legs are still only clad in block colours of black and blue, and with the promise of normal jeans at my finger tips I think I am out of this print pant madness. I think. I know that if I ever fell I would have to confess my folly to you all. That's how I role, I'm a great confessor of my most embarrassing acts, let's hope, friends, that day never comes.

An(other) open letter to Gorman (PM or PS)

Personally, Gorman, I don't understand why your stuff is Kraft Singles quality at Meredith Goats Feta prices. If I am totally honest with myself, I have to admit that even though you did wrong by my girl, I still like some of your stuff and kind of want it. But  I can't bring myself to buy it when it costs so damned much. 

See, this top is cute. 

But it is on sale for $150. ON SALE for $150? For pete's sake.

And seriously, the cute stuff is few and far between. Look at this:

That dress is straight-up fugly. At $80, it's probably the cheapest thing in the store, but when you add the personal cost one would incur when they are dressed in something so fug, it's basically $500. 

So yeah, Gorman. I'm moving on and I'm not looking back. 

I'm afraid I don't have the answer

Well, in my humble opinion, you're not out of touch at all. All of those ads are gross, and the fact that so many ads are really gross would naturally make a thoughtful kid like you wonder whether you are missing something. It's normal. And you know, it was exactly that question that led to the birth of Go Fug Yourself.

Fun fact: apparently those fug girls were hanging out one day and saw a movie poster or ad or something that they found really fugly. They started discussing how there was so much fug around and that perhaps this wasn't because people had lost it and didn't know how to dress anymore, perhaps it was because people were consciously choosing to cultivate a fugly look. They hypothesised that perhaps fugly was the new pretty and voila, GFY was born.

But back to the advertisements you identified. That Transitions woman looks totally CGI to me. If she is a real woman, then I have to say I do not know what the world is coming to. She looks like she just stepped out of a game of Tekken. And keep in mind that I haven't played Tekken since about 2001, and that's what her look says to me.

As for the Wish lady, she really does seem to be walking the line between dead and undead. Maybe they are trying to capitalise on the whole vampire thing that is around these days. She does kind of look like a Cullen, what with her stupid sullen face and her crappy wardrobe. But what else would we expect from a nasty brand like Wish.

I remember when vampires were full of vim and vigour.
Remember this merry band of vamps everybody?
I miss those days.

I just have one question

What the eff is going on with print advertising?! Specifically billboards. Seriously, WTF?!?!

So driving south on Punt Rd I see the Harry Potter billboard for HP7P2. Which I love. Obviously. Driving north I see an ad for transition lenses. Which I hate. Because it has got to be one of the ugliest ads I have ever seen.

Why does that woman look like her eyes are rolling back in her head? Why does she have that stupid expression on her face? And why did someone airbrush the shit out of her?

I am pretty sure that Transitions are going to have to try a lot harder to overcome their dorky image.

But this is just one of many ads lately that have really made me ask WTF? Is there some new aesthetic that has completely passed me by?!

Here is an ad that I saw frequently on trams not so long ago for the clothing brand Wish.

I don't understand why this woman looks like she has a dislocated shoulder. I don't understand why she looks like a corpse. And not in some heroin chic way, but just in a decomposed face way. I don't understand why she is a giant.

I guess I should feel happy that at least there is no way this advertising is going to work on me. There was another ad I was seeing a lot that elicited the same feelings which I would like to write about, but obviously these campaigns are completely ineffective so I have no idea what it was. It took me weeks to figure out the last ad was for Wish.

But I also feel sad. Either the advertising people are really out of touch or I am. And the fact that these super ugly ads keep popping up all over the place is making me think that maybe I am the out of touch one! WTF!?