Hello again too

I still feel a fair amount of hate for the people who are catching up on Netflix, if I'm honest. I agree with everything J says about the little pockets of time that crop up in the course of the day. They are truly delightful. In fact, today's moment of delight is likely to be  a lunchtime bath, which is a privilege afforded to me by the fact that Appleheart looks after the children on Fridays. I mean, what a great life. A lunchtime bath. Not to mention Appleheart. Not to mention children. But there's still this little fire of hate burning in my heart that I can't quite put out. Hate is too strong a word, it's more like a deeply unimpressed vibe. I think it's the fact that Mum had the stroke around the same time this started and so fear and dread are still lurking around for me, like a label that hasn't quite come off a jar. And even though Mum is doing super well (never knows what day it is, but that's OK) and Australia's Covid 19 deaths are comparatively so few, I feel deeply unimpressed with people banging on in social media about the quieter and more 'back to basics' life they're living. But that's probably just because social media brings out the worst in me. 

I'm sorry I haven't been here like I promised. Thanks to Baby for cutting me some slack but I should just be following through, dark times or not. As Justin Langer said on Barrie Cassidy's One on One the other night, if you talk excellence and deliver mediocrity, you're nothing but a common liar. 

Christ knows how I have the time for Barrie Cassidy's One on One, and why I am taking advice from someone who I thought sounded like a pretty massive d-bag and who I actually disagree with but here I go anyway. And why does Barrie Cassidy spell Barrie with an 'ie'. Isn't that weird? I'd never thought about it before but it's weird. But good on him.It's his name, he should spell it however he wants! Fuck me and my bullshit naming standards. 

As you can see, I'm kind of having some weird moods and thoughts at the moment. But I feel 100 per cent sure of my feelings about J's dinner from the Thursday post. Fucking yum!

Coronavirus - The Crown style

A few weeks ago when Boris Johnson was in ICU with coronavirus, Prince Charles had been recently diagnosed with it and QEII had just given her coronavirus address I couldn’t help thinking about the episode of The Crown this would result in.

It opens at the bustling Wuhan fish market. A cold, frosty morning. Fishmongers pull fish from a truck, cold air rises from from large dead fish. A man coughs. A week later: the streets of Wuhan. People in masks, coughing. Full hospitals. Chinese officials around boardroom tables speaking frantically. Cut to QE II in the parlour where she always watches TV, a news caster reports on a deadly new virus spreading through China. “Oh dear,” says the queen.

Cut to opening credits.

The episode is all phone calls with Boris, debates over whether the UK should start shutting things down or stand strong, questions over where the royals should all be and who should be with the, Then Charles tests positive. “I see,” the queen says into a telephone receiver. (I wonder if the queen uses a mobile phone? Will the 2020 episodes still have QEII holding a land line to her face?) There’ll be discussions over whether she should address the nation. “At a time like this they need you, ma’am,” someone will tell her. Boris will get sick of course, go into hospital, end up in ICU.  Lizzie will have that strained, torn look on her face as she hears the news. Then he survives (same torn look on her face when she hears probably). She’ll be upset about missing her Easter duties but will give her touching  Easter address.  I guess eventually the numbers will start to get better too. Fewer people will die. Everyone will be cautiously optimistic. Perhaps the Queen will have to stay isolated for longer. Forever?

The episode will have that heavy feeling of the London smog episode or mining town landslide episode. Shit, a lot of bad stuff happens over 60 odd years does’t it? Ever since I started seeing COVID-19 as an episode of The Crown all news out of England appears to me as a part of the episode - it really is delightful. But I also started to think about the Crown episodes that the past decade would inspire. Terrorist attacks in London, Brexit, the Scottish referendum perhaps, Harry and Megan (can't wait for that one), some personal ones I could not foresee. Ugh. I hope this period of self isolation is giving her maj a well earned break. Girlfriend turned 94 on Tuesday, lockdown is probably the nicest thing that could have happened to her. Happy birthday QEII, stay safe.

It’s working

I think that even if your plan isn’t working, the overall scheme is.

I say that as someone who isn’t home-schooling kiddos, so it’s possible that I have no idea what I’m talking about. But I think that rolling with the heretofore inconceivable concept of working and home schooling AT THE SAME TIME (noting that you’re on leave this week Mate, but still) sounds like a noteworthy achievement. I mean, that is a totally bonkers concept that no one would have dreamed into existence just a few months ago.  Kids have got to be learning a shit load about problem solving and adaptability through this exercise. Or something. Will just fucking rolling with it be the fourth R for this generation of school kids? Perhaps. 

I had a plan about what I was going to write today too, but alas. I spent the entire day with a teething baby and a four and a half year old who sure does like to ask a lot of questions. It’s not a very inspirational scenario, and  It’s only at the end of the day that I’m getting to put finger to keyboard. 

All I feel like saying now is how much I like this corner of my bedroom. I don’t know where to put that Kusama poster, but in the meantime I like looking  at it here. 

I had a plan

I had in my head the post that I wanted to write today but as I think we all know, planning some writing in your head is not the same as writing that thing. What I should have done was write it last night, once the kids were in bed and my brain was still halfway working. But like a fool I didn't do that, expecting - for some reason - that I'd be able to write it today. You see, I took a few days off work this week, and not working has meant that I haven't felt quite as bled dry as I had been previously. But today 'school' started. Needless to say, at only 11:30am I feel completely bled dry. But it's recess now so I'm writing this different post. As this is as far as I can remove my brain from the day, (ie. not at all).

I sort of had high hopes for school starting. That it would add structure to the day and tasks for the kids to complete. But with Newbie in grade 1 he needs a fair bit of help and with Baby generally being a child that lacks motivation, is easily distracted and doesn't want to do stuff, he needs basically constant monitoring. So my hopes have sunk somewhat. But it is only day one and I guess the only way is up. Although I guess down is also a possibility if I'm honest.

Still here

Hi there. I just want to say that Mate, I’m still here and I have lots of things to talk about but due to generally being bled totally dry I am just putting this placeholder post here with a list of the things that I have to talk to you about. In no particular order:

How annoyed I am at everything all the time too

My neck

Autumn/winter wardrobe things, including how great your fair isle menswear jumper from country road, season, like, 2012 is. 

What normal will look like when everything goes back to ‘normal’

That the only thing better than having a dishwasher is have a dishwasher located directly opposite the drawer where most of the dishes go. 

There’s other things too, but these are a start.I plan to post about one of these each week. 

Worries

I spoke to my Mum today and she told me that she was just about to get out of bed. It was 11:30am, and it was the first thing she said to me.

“Hi darling, I’m just getting out of bed”. 

This is strange because it’s a strange way to start a conversation, and it’s also strange because my Mum would typically have done a whole bunch of stuff by 11:30am. But since she had the stroke, she’s been different and the tricky thing is figuring out what’s a difference to worry about and what’s just different because she is in fact, different. 

At first, after the stroke, she was very very tired and would stay in bed and sleep a lot more. This is very normal and reflects that fact that her brain has been damaged. After a few weeks her energy levels picked up and she would stay in bed, but read her book or “do things on the iPad”. I think that meant read the news and read emails and maybe look at photos of the kids. When she did get up, she may or may not get out of her PJs and that was somewhat alarming to everyone because my Mum loves to look groomed. She does not look groomed in her PJs. 

But heck, the woman was recovering from a stroke and so we all figured as she got better she would be more motivated to get her groom on. 

It’s been a month and a half now, so still not that far out from when it happened, but I think my dad and my brother are a bit concerned by her ongoing interest in staying in bed and not getting dressed. I’m not sure how worried I should be. Maybe she’s just finally wise to the fact that lying around in PJs all day is actually pretty great, and she’s finally, at 75, letting herself do it. I mean, that sounds about right, doesn’t it? 

I think my Dad and brother are put out by it because it’s a visual reminder of the fact that she’s changed, she’s not as invincible as she once was, she’s vulnerable and not the person who is effectively keeping our whole family safe and cared for. 

But we’re all adults. We can take care of ourselves now, more or less. Doesn’t she deserve to lie around? 

I think so. 

The new work order

K, you are right on sister. The new work environment is pretty weird. My work is using a lot of Slack and a lot of Zoom. I have a Zoom meeting basically every day and they are barely about work. I was asked to attend a weekly meeting on my day off, as if just because I'm at home I have nothing better to do than dial into a meeting that has nothing to do with me. I missed the first one and apparently all I actually missed was the director complaining about working at home and how his daughter is sick and he and his wife have to sleep in different beds. Yikes!

I did go to last week's meeting though and spent 55 minutes listening to the directorate talk about things that have absolutely nothing to do with me or the rest of my team. I thought about turning my camera off and walking away but was worried someone may ask me something. Unlikely as that was. Although at minute 55 the director thought he had to justify my team's presence and asked us how we were going. We each spoke about our home office set up for one minute. Most of my team work at our dining table or in the bedroom. Most of the directorate have a dedicated study or the pick of many rooms in their big houses. Needless to say I told my manager I would not be coming to that meeting again.

Slack is something else again. We have a a team channel and a channel for everyone in the research institute where I work, where professors log on and say things like "Good morning peeps 😎" It's pretty weird. People share pictures of the meals they made last night, there wedding photos from years ago. It's weird how these internet relationships bring a new kind of intimacy. Or maybe it's not. I mean, I guess my email relationships with people are different to my face-to-face relationships. But now there's only online relationships. With people we know but won't see for months. Let's hope things don't get too weird.😬

One week down

Apologies for being three days late with this post. We've all got quite a lot going on, right?

I suspect a lot of people's ability to multitask is really being tested this week. Not mine, because as we all know I'm a unitasker and have no expectations of myself with regards to multitasking. It's good to know that about yourself. 
Appleheart took most of the week off and has been looking after kids while I get used to being back at work. 

Mostly things are the same, but now we all communicate on Teams, and no one sends emails, and it's perfectly normal to respond to messages from the CEO with an emoji. It's not just normal, it's encouraged. 

I feel about this the way I feel about young men wearing trousers without socks. Remember how all of a sudden, about 10 years ago, young gentlemen started wearing, like, stovepipe trouser with shoes and no socks, so their ankles were on display for everyone to see?

It was very surprising and for a while I would feel a little startled every time I saw an ankle but now, I'm used to it. I'm very adaptable like that. I suspect I'll soon be replying with winky faces.

Anyway, It's been a good first week. I mean, it's no sitting around watching RuPaul's Drag Race while I cuddle a sleeping baby, but we all knew that had to come to an end. 

I hope y'all have had good weeks too.

Into the fog

Today, I go back to work after a year of maternity leave. 

I’m dressed in business attire and my hair is brushed. I’ve got shoes on. I had a shower!

It’s a lot of prep to just go downstairs and work in the garage, but I’ve got to make a good first impression. 

In Sweden, when they cheers, they say ‘in i dimman’. It means ‘Into the fog’. I really like it. It’s how I feel about this day and these times. 

Gosh, so serious.