Hunk of the Month Club - Jon Hamm

 

Last week my mum emailed us to nominate Jon Hamm for Hunk of the Month Club. Unlike that time L-Bomb suggested David Duchovny, we gave this one some actual consideration. I mean, we really like this guy. And what do you know, lookey who we have here.

Jon Hamm is 41 and, according to Wikipedia, became an actor after visiting his buddy Paul Rudd in Hollywood. While trying to get acting roles he worked as a set designer on softcore porn films. Ladies and gentelmen, Jon Hamm.

J: Jon Hamm. He's handsome, he seems to have an adorable doofusy side, and he plays, without a doubt, the biggest hunk on television. Welcome! to our newest  Hunk of the Month, the Hammster!

Mate, obviously the Hammster can't join us today, why don't you give us your thoughts on the latest addition to HotMC.

K: Sure Mate, I can do that.

My thoughts on the Hammster are simple. He has a very pretty face and everyone loves a pretty face. But a HotMc needs more than just a pretty face (depending on how we are feeling at the precise time we choose a HotMC) and I'm not sure if Hamm has it. Until he becomes Don Draper, and then he becomes bona fide HotMC team captain.

J: Well Don Draper is no doubt a hunk, a HotMC even, but team captain? One of the crazy things about Don Draper, and keep in mind I have only watched half of season one of Mad Men, is that he is a hands down hunk and a hands down a-hole. I'm pretty sure that only in fiction does a cheating, misogynist pretty face become a HotMC. He does have that mystery, and that devil-may-care attitude to smoking cigarettes. HOT.

K: I have a little more Mad Men under my belt and I'd like to say that Don becomes a better person and therefore a more appropriate choice for HotMC but no, he really doesn't. He kind  of gets worse. But he stays pretty. And hot. Less mysterious. But still hot. It must be the durries!

J: Also Don is always so well groomed. And you certainly do not see that every day. Hot! I think the Hammster could be a genuine HotMC if he took a leaf out of Don Draper's Book of Grooming. Not that Hammster doesn't scrub up as his own self.

K: That's absolutely true, Hamm would be wise to take some grooming cues from Don. All dudes really. Heck, I could learn a thing or two from Don.

But yes, Hamm as Hamm is still pretty pretty. 

I feel that I should acknowledge that unlike his HotMC alumni, Hamm is perhaps not a super versatile hunk. Sure, he broods well, but does he look as pretty when he smiles?

I'm not sure. 

J: Oh, look, Hamm can look real nice smiling but it's true it's the kind of smile that makes you think 'That's a nice looking man' rather than 'Phwoarrrrrr!' Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Also, you gotta respect that he has been with his lady for more than 10 years even though he found fame and become recognised as a hunk worldwide during that time.

K: Yeah, way to go Hammster. Don Draper may be (somehow) prettier than Hamm, but there is no way he could do that.

I also like how this clip indicates he is a bit of a spazz.

J: I definitely think that Jon Hamm must be a bit of a spazz. Other than his pretty face it's my favourite thing about him. It's what elevates him above just a handsome man. 30 Rock, Bridesmaids, the random funny shit I have seen him in on the internet. Dude seems quite spazz. And that is one of man's hottest attributes. Another good attribute can be a beard.

'

K: Spazz is really very hot. More dudes need to understand that. So basically, the Hammster is a well groomed, slightly broody (as Don Draper), slightly goofy ( as Jon Hamm) handsome guy. 

Hello, Mr November.

Jon Hamm, if you asked me you just made it into HotMC by the skin of your teeth. But, K, well she's got the fever, she emailed me yesterday with this: "The dude really quite hot." Yeah, she got the fever.

Babe of the Month Club: Catherine Keener

Babes.

Oh baby, who doesn't love a babe? Not us.

Whoa there, that's a double negative, so could be a little confusing. Let me be absolutely clear: we love babes. 

Obviously, our first love is hunks, but we can appreciate the heck out of a good babe and have scheduled that appreciation in to our repertoire on a quarterly basis. First, and a tad controversially, it was K-Stew. 

Now, it's C.Keen's time, C.Keen being Catherine Keener, the fifty-three year old (fifty-three years old!) American actress who has been in a bunch of great things but really, not enough things.

C.Keen, you are a babe and the time to celebrate you starts NOW!

J: Catherine Keener is a total babe! The first time I saw her was in Johnny Suede. An early Brad Pitt movie. And while I admit at the time I was all about B.Pi (HAHAHAHA B.Pi!) I couldn't help but take notice of his babelicious love interest, Catherine Keener.

Come for the B.Pi, stay for the C.Keen

K: Jonny Suede was my first time with her too.  It would be a while longer before I knew she was a babe, but I felt feelings of 'like' for her straight away. It's that big smile. While  I want to slap that big smile off, say, Julia Roberts' face I want to have a drink with C.Keen and find out why she is smiling so much.

J: Sure, I didn't fall in love with her instantly either, I really liked her. As the years went on I liked her more and more. I like how she was married to Dermot Mulroney. I like how she was sometimes photographed hanging out with Brad Pitt, just like they were buddies hanging out. I like how she is really nice looking and she has this kind of low voice and this naturalistic way of talking that no one else in Hollywood has. In short, I kind of love her. 

Plus Being John Malkovich! Hello!

K: She does have a thing that no one else in Hollywood has, you're dead right. Natural and easy, which is very charming. And that great voice. I wish I had a signature voice. I really really don't. I sound like 'generic woman'. Sometimes when I get a cold I sound better. Anyway, this is about C-Keen, not me. 

Dermot Mulroney is a shit-hot husband to have. And for 17 years, if wikipedia is to be believed. That's a pretty good go. Look at them, all smiley in happier times. Dermot Mulroney should work more. 

It's kind of a shame they broke up, but I think it's a shame when anyone breaks up so don't ask me. 

Obviously Being John Malkovich blew the whole C-Keen-is-a-babe-and-seemingly-quite-great thing right open. That film is one of the films. And she is so great and so beautiful in it. And though she is in things semi-regularly, I really want her to be in more things. Which may well be one of the reasons she is a BotMC babe. She leaves us wanting more. 

Mate, lets talk about her hair. 

J: What a hot couple they made! But that's the past. Unlike her hair. Catherine Keener has such beautiful hair. Catherine Keener's hair in The 40- Year-Old Virgin is the reason I grew my hair long. The reason. But my hair is not beautiful and shiny like hers. I think about her hair almost daily!

Great hair and Great (Michael) Scott! ha!

K: Lucky, lucky babe, to have such great hair.

So what's next for C.Keen, I wonder?

*checks IMDB*

Apparently C.Keen has a couple of films coming out over the next little while, one of which is called Maladies and co-stars Franco. Another one is called Nailed and co-stars fellow HotMC alumnus Gyllenhaal.

Hot!

J: Hey that is great news about Keener and Gylenhaal starring in a movie together. HotMC meets BotMC! I love it! I am also happy to tell you that Dermot Mulroney has a few films on the go too and one of them stars Mia Wasikowka and Nicole Kidman. It looks creepy as and Dermot plays a dead man so I'm not holding out that much hope.

K: Sometimes people can play dead people in movies and it works out ok, like SPOILER ALERT Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense so fingers crossed for Dermot.

Dermot is actually quite a massive hunk. I just want to put that out there, even though today is all about Catherine.

J: Sure sometimes the dead guy is the star, like Bobby in The Heavenly Kid, but sadly I watched the trailer for the Mulroney movie and the only shot of him was in a photo on top of a casket, so I'm not holding my breath. Anyway this is about his foxy ex, not Mulroney.  C.Keen is a babe that has crossed decades. You sure cant say that everyday. LiLo barely crossed years with her cuteness. Word up CK.  

K: You said it, Mate. Word up CK. 

Cute in a car!

Hunk of the Month Club: Gael Garcia Bernal

We had the hardest time settling on a hunk to celebrate this month, readers. It feels like lately, we've spent so much of our time exasperated over the lack of new hunks coming through the pipeline, and by how Big Movie expects us to believe people  like Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds are hunks, that there's barely been any time for true hunk reflection. I was about to suggest to J that we revisit Jimmy Bartel, what with it being the last week in September and  the Brownlow producers' apparent inability to give the audience what it wants.

But then inspiration hit. 

Gael Garcia Bernal.

Actor. Director. Mexican. Hunk.

I emailed J straight away and she said "Yes. He is a deadset hunk and I love him!" 

It's not hard to see why, readers. But lets explore it anyway.

K: Mate, when did you first discover GGB?

J: God, I remember the first time I saw GGB like it was yesterday. I was watching Amores Perros at the Kino and there he was. Like some kind of golden god. I was watching it with David and I could tell he was hating that movie so hard. That guy sure doesn't know a hunk when he sees one. 

Snaggle toothed and hot

K: Too bad, so sad, David. I feel sorry for people who can't (or won't) see the hunk in others. For me, there is no film experience more satisfying than one that delivers a new hunk in to my consciousness when I had no expectation of it at all. It's a rare and absolute joy. 

My first GGB experience was in Y tu mama tambien. Hot.

Of course, I had heard you talk about what a hunk GGB is, so I wasn't surprised when I saw him and found him to be a total hunk. But sometimes a little anticipation is a good thing too.

Mate, what do you think is the root of GGB's hunkiness?

Brooding and hot

J:Oh a movie with a new surprise hunk is one of the all time best things! I love that. But you are right, sometimes being a little primed for a hunk doesn't hurt. Y tu mama tambien is such a special movie of hunk. I mean, it is such a great film and GGB really, shall we say, shines.

That's a great question about the root of GGB's hotness. Let's break it down. Firstly, he is so pretty. That square jaw and big smile. Plus he can look adorable and doofusy, scary, sad hot, he does it all! Plus, an accent. And finally he's a hot Mexican. And you don't get to see that in a movie every day.

What do you think it is?

K: I think GGB being as pretty as he is goes a long way. And so smiley. Miss Soft Crab has said it before and she'll say it again: A brooding hunk is great, but a smiling hunk is something else altogether. Often, hunks own one of these dimensions, and while they may dabble in the other, they tend to hold fast to their source. GGB is equal parts a brooding hunk and a smiling hunk. Equal parts! Again, it's a rare joy. 

I feel that we should note that GGB is 1.68 metres tall. This means that GGB is in fact, short. Obviously this kind of thing can be difficult for a gentleman. A real hunk-inhibitor. Not so with the GGB.

He manages to make being a short man a source of his hunkiness, not an impediment to it. He's a short, hot man.

Black and white and hot

J: It's true. It's almost as if GGB's height is an enhancement rather than inhibitor of his hunkness. To be a grade-A hunk at the height of 168cm proves how special a person is. 

Plus not only is GGB really damn pretty, but he also speaks 5 languages and has two babies with his wife. Quintlingual family man! Hot!

Shopping and hot

K: Oh man, what a guy. I'm pretty sure GGB is our first Quintlingual HotMC hunk. Lets just go through the list to be sure:

Paul Newman

Jake Gyllenhaal

Casey Affleck

Jimmy Bartel

Viggo Mortensen.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of those guys is a fiver.

But geez, look at that list and tell me does MSC know how to choose a hunk or does MSC know how to choose a hunk?!

Here's to you, GGB. Welcome to the HotMC family. 

Hunk of the Month Club - Hunks of History edition: Paul Newman

When Paul Newman died in 2008 (I know, can you believe it was that long ago?!), the world mourned the loss of a truly great guy. Here was a man who had fought in a war, acted in a bunch of movies, stayed married for a super long time in Hollywood and devoted part of his life to making pasta more delicious, then giving away the money he earnt through doing so. His death meant that there was one less truly wonderful person in the world, and so we all mourned. 

Of course, Miss Soft Crab also mourned his death as the loss of a hunkiness that comes around once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

Look at this face, readers. 

Mate, what do you want to say about that face?

J: It's true, that kind of face I mean guy comes along so rarely it's worth celebrating retrospectively. Paul Newman was so handsome that for years, YEARS, I didn't even realise Robert Redfdord was a hunk. I was so blinded by Newman when I saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid I couldn't even tell there were two hunks in that film. Now that! That is one hell of a hunk. 

Hunks, all of them. 

K: Well Mate, I guess the one good thing that came from me making you watch The Way We Were so many times was an increase in your Robert Redford-as-hunk awareness.

I kind of had the reverse experience. Being raised by a mother with a permanent boner for Robert Redford, I had no idea that there were other hunks in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid until I saw it for the first time and from that day forward have basically been all Robert who?

Sure, Robert is pretty. But Paul, readers, Paul. He is something else altogether.

And Butch is such a lovely character! I don't know what that lady was thinking, going out with Sundance.

This is the face of a madwoman

J: Well, clearly that lady in Butch and Sundance is crazy. But literature and life are full of this kind of crazy (see: Bella Swan choosing Sparkleface over Jacob and Kristen Stewart choosing that old director over R.Patz).

I can see it. 

You know a special thing about P.New, from a purely superficial point of view, is that he really just had such a nice face. Even as he got old, actually old, you could still see the handsome man in there. Now that is something you don't see everyday.

K: I totally agree. His face was just so fine. That goddamned smile, Mate (and readers).

It's like Woody Allen says in the end of Manhattan, when he is listing all the things that make life worth living.

If Miss Soft Crab was writing that list, it would start and finish with Paul Newman's face.

Is that a bottle opener around his neck? Hot. 

*cough*

I mean

J: Yeah, that face sure is worth living for. But, like you said earlier, Mate, The Newm was more than just a pretty face. I mean, the guy invented a sauce company just so he could donate the profits to charity. He made a whole company for charity. What a guy!

K: The Newmanator was a really top guy.

And, because he was married to the same woman for his whole adult life, his hunkiness includes a whole other dimension that no other MSC HotMC has before.

He was a hunk that didn't spread it around, and readers, I'm sorry but that is HotMC hot.

J: Yeah, fidelity really is the mark of a great hunk. Sure, P.New left his first wife for J.Woo, but whatevs, he was so young when they met.

Really it is almost impossible to believe that a hunk like that existed. Pretty; philanthropic, long-term monogamist; did I mention pretty?; life-long hunk. I'm sure the guy was not perfect, but whatevs, even being able to have a life long appearance of a-grade hunk is worth kudos.

K: Yeah, no hunk is perfect, but P.New? He was pretty darn close.

So kudos Paul Newman, MSC's very first HotMC: Hunks of History Edition hunk and hero, may you inspire other hot people to go further and become the dead set hunk you were. 

Hunk of the Month Club: Jake Gyllenhaal

I'm sure you all know who Jake Gyllenhaal is. He is this really handsome guy:

But he is so much more than that! He is also this handsome guy!

But seriously folks, I don't think that you need me to tell you that Gyllenhaal is an American actor born in 1980 and star of Donnie Dark and Brokeback Mountain and a whole bunch of other stuff too. But what I want to know is why is isn't in more stuff all the time? Other than those weird 5 minutes when he dated Taylor Swift he has been very, very quiet lately. And I want to know why! I want answers.

J: So! Mate! That time of the month again. And this time we are celebrating Jake Gyllenhaal. I remember the first time I saw him. Donnie Darko was on at the MIFF, and because I liked the sound of it and the giant bunny in the picture I went to see it and I was blown away! Yes, I liked the film a lot, but that Gyllenhaal! I knew from the moment I saw him that I would be seeing a lot more of him.

K: I didn't go to that screening of Donnie Darko, but it reminds me that I really must get serious about figuring out what MIFF films I am going to this year. But I do remember quite clearly how you told me about it after you saw it,  and told me how great the dude in it was. You spoke in hushed tones, reverent almost, instead of the usual enthusiastic phwoar  and what a hunk! type deal that usually follows the discovery of a new hunk. You seemed to be extremely impressed.

I had my doubts because even though you said the name 'Jake Gyllenhaal' several times, I couldn't quite grasp it nor commit it to memory and I had doubts about the future of a hunk who's name was difficult to remember. Keep in mind, readers, that this was before the days of mobile internet devices, so its not like you could have just showed me a picture of JG and allowed me to commit that pretty face to memory then and there. No. I had to wait until I saw Donnie Darko, some time later, to realise that J was right. This hunk was going places.

J:My how things have changed. When I saw Donnie Darko I don't think I even had Internet at my house! In fact I actually remember Yahooing him at work. (HA!) And being delighted to find that he was already on his way up.

Of course it was not long before that difficult to remember name became a name of the household variety. Have you seen his face? Little wonder?!

K: And there we have it. That boy has a face that won't quit.

Seriously, if I was Jake Gyllenhaal, I would burst out laughing every time I looked in the mirror.

It's not that I find extreme handsomeness funny, it's just that certain levels of pretty make me feel like I must be in the middle of some kind of practical joke, played by the gods on us unsuspecting men. 

J: I know what you mean. I feel that way too, like how could that ridiculous handsomeness be for real, right? I wonder what it is like for Gyllenhaal to be that pretty.  

K: I wish I could tell you!

There was a time there where JG was in everything, but it seems like he's gone quiet lately. 

Why is it so? It's not because he got less pretty, that's for sure. He still looked pretty walking down the street in March.

J: He sure did look good walking down the street in March!

I guess he still is in stuff, like that just terrible looking film with Anne Hathaway, who I can not stand, especially when she is a playing fun-loving, sexually-liberated woman who, through a gross miscarriage of universal justice, gets to do it with Gyllenhaal. No, no amount of hunk could get me to watch that. But what he was in recently, and luckily for my eyeballs was on TV recently, was Brothers. I couldn't really tell if that film was any good, because it was on TV and it made me cry all over the place with its death and sadness and war and horror. But one thing that was abundantly clear is that Jake Gyllenhaal is really, very hot.

Plus, as MC Gusto says in CB4, "[he] got them eyes, man, yo"!

K: Oh shit, he sure does got them eyes. Them kind of eyes that if you looked at them just once you would probably get pregnant. Just because it hasn't happened doesn't mean that it couldn't happen. Gyllenhaal be like the anti-Medusa!

Also, because this a thinking woman's blog, we should  note that Gyllenhaal is not just really, really pretty. He is also really good at the acting. He's great at it in fact!

J: Yes. He really is a great actor. You think they just nominate anyone for a Best Supporting Academy Award like they did Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain? He really is very, very good in that movie. I love that movie.

We should also note that he is rad in a bunch of other ways too. He campaigns to get the kids to to vote. You know, 18-year-old kids. And according to Wikipedia he donates money to have trees planted in Mozambique, enjoys cooking and woodwork! HOT!

K: I wish he was in more great stuff, though. That's my one complaint about JG. But having said that, I  think he is going to age really well and so I guess we should be focussing on quality, not quantity, as it's not like we need him to cram so we can all get it while it's hot (MC). No siree.

J: Yes. Gyllenhaal will age well. You can tell because he is not just pretty but also manly. And that is a recipe for long lasting hunk factor. (Paul Newman anyone?)

Do you know what else is quite hot about Gyllenhaal? He's the godfather of Matilda Ledger.

K: Wow. Is it weird to think that's hot?

J: If you want some kind of respectable answer to that you are asking the wrong person.

K: Lets not overthink it.

The things we know for sure are that JG is hot, he is really great at the acting and happily, he has a long career ahead of him through which can experience these things. 

But, if he could possibly be in something good soon, that would be great. Maybe with Edward Norton. Just putting it out there.

J: And James McAvoy. Maybe?

K: OMFG yes!

J: We pitch tomorrow!

Hunk of the Month Club: Casey Affleck

If you dropped by Miss Soft Crab yesterday, you'll know that it's time to once again sing a song of praise to a hunk - this time a very special hunk that first came to the attention of Miss Soft Crab in 1995 through the film To Die For.

Personally, when I saw To Die For many many moons ago, I was struck by a few things.

First, Nicole Kidman can be really really great, and its such a relief when she is because I guess some part of me wants to like her.

Second, Joaqs is a stone cold fox, and really really awesome in this movie.

Third, Ileana Douglas is also really great in this movie, and she should work more. (Remind me to tell you all about the awesome movie Grace of my Heart  some time. I effing love that movie. It's basically a melodrama with heaps of singing in it, but is not a musical. And everyone is in it!  John Tuturro. Eric Stoltz. Matt Dillon. Chris Isaak. J Mascis. Everyone! And Ileana Douglas is awesome in it.

Fourth, and most importantly, who is Casey Affleck?

People, this is Casey Affleck.

Come for Joaqs, stay for Casey

Despite being a nobody and despite playing a minor character in a film with all these awesome people, he is the most compelling of them all and from then on, MSC has had trouble taking all four of our eyes off him.

So Mate, tell me, why is Casey Affleck so rad?

J: Why is Casey Affleck so rad? That is a great question! A really great one. Almost as good as why you love the movie Grace of My Heart so much but I guess we will leave that for another day.

It is pretty mindbending that such a minor and creepy character as Casey's in To Die For could capture our imaginations the way he did. The thing about Casey is that he is kind of handsome and kind of not. Kind of creepy and kind of not. It's like his awesomeness is balancing on a knife's edge and you just need to see more to figure out  what the hell is going on under all of that.
  

Period hunk.

K: It's so true. When hotness has shades of not-hotness, the overall impression is so much hotter than if the dude was just straight up hot. Also, Casey doesn't play the hot card and he doesn't really play leading men. It's like he's just there doing his thing and being hot is the furtherest thing from his mind. And that's hot.

J: Yes! Casey never plays the hot card! And it's just about the hottest thing a person can do! Back to his complexity for a sec, it's also that he has this kind of vulnerabilty but also a likely arsehole streak. So hot complex!

So I guess it was around the time of To Die For or possibly Good Will Hunting that we used to watch the movie Race the Sun all the time. I'd like to think that's because it was conveniently being played on your Foxtel all the time rather than because we sought it out. Right? Right! Have you seen the poster for that lately?

To think Casey could be attractive in that! Well it really his testimony to his genius and atractiveness.

K: Oh geez, I can't believe that such a great film (to watch when you're a bored teenager and you'll pretty much watch anything that is on) could have such a shit poster.

Further to your comments about Casey's genius and attractiveness, I just went to IMDB to have a look at his back catalogue and realised that I have not seen a whole bunch of his films, yet he looms large in my mind as a hunk. Genius and attractiveness!

I also discovered that he is going to be in some movie with Christian Bale and Sam Shepherd. Schwing!

J: Casey Affleck and Christian Bale?! Schwing! Schwing! Two of Hollywood's creepiest hunks together at last!  I can't wait for Out of the Furnace. To be fair though Bale beats Casey in the creep stakes. Yes he does.

Come on you guys, just one.

Anyway, did you know that Casey is more than just an almost pretty face and captivating screen prescence? According to Wikipedia he studied physics, astronomy, and Western philosophy at Columbia!

K: Bale beats everyone in the hunky creep stakes. He is the Phar Lap of hunky creeps. But Casey is a very competitive challenger.

And Casey, way to go on all that study, you clever hunk. A creepy hunk with a huge, huge brain? Hot.

And way to go on marrying Joaqs' sister, and producing babies that will potentially combine your hunky creepiness with the hunky vulnerability/volatility expressed so well on the Phoenix line.
#dynastiescanbesohot

J: Yeah, the Phoenix/Affleck combo is so natural. Joaqs has a bit of the creepy too. And Casey has a twist of vulnerability. There would be plenty of overlap in the Venn diagram of their hotness. Still, Casey is not the father of Joaqs' kids.

I guess we can't talk about Casey without acknowldging that his brother Ben is more famous and, weirdly, more widely considered the hunk. Is he? Is Ben Affleck considered a hunk still? Who knows. And who cares. There is only one Affleck for me.

K: And me.

But it's fine if Casey wants to hang out with his hit friends, right?

Mighty hunk triumvirate

Haiku Thursday (AM)

Sisyphus
I feel you, brother 
Dishes, washing, vacuuming
It's just like your rock


For David

Human flew at me

Sore nose, bloody snot, sinus 

Pain. Coincidence?

Hunk of the Month Club
That time of the month
Tomorrow it's back again 
A strange, special hunk

Hunk of the Month Club: Jimmy Bartel

Greetings, hunk fans!

Can you believe it's already been a whole month since our first hunk of the month? How time flies!  Since then, the days have become shorter and colder and Miss Soft Crab has turned its attention to wintery pleasures: 

Woollen jumpers. 

Pasta. 

Double doonas. 

And of course, Jimmy Bartel. 

Now, we know that not everyone is in to football, and we respect that. In fact, we thought for about two minutes  long and hard about whether Jimmy was a suitable choice for HotMC. The last thing we want is for the Crab community to feel alienated by our choice of hunk. But as J eventually reasoned: 

a) HotMC is not a science, Mate, and I don't think it necessarily has to be the hottest hunk or anything like that;

b) If he is the guy that came up than he is the hunk of the month I say!

c) Celebrate diversity! We should have hunks from all walks of life;

d) Footy season is here, another reason he is an apt HotMC.

e) JIMMY! I effing love that guy

Quite right, Mate. Quite right. 

So lets begin, shall we? I guess because he is a footballer, we should start with some stats.

Jimmy Bartel is a perfect 10! That's the only stat worth knowing.

Just jokes. 

Jimmy is a 28-year-old hunk who grew up in Geelong and has been tearing it up at Cat Park since 2002. In addition to being a Brownlow medalist, Norm Smith medallist and triple premiership player, Jimmy is the most handsome man in the most handsome team in the AFL. Jimmy makes Max Rooke look like a carpet. Jimmy makes Joel Selwood look like an emu. Jimmy makes Tom Hawkins look like a man made from plasticine. In truth, Tom Hawkins is largely to blame for this too. But that Jimmy stands handsome head and handsome shoulders above all these other handsome men really says something about Jimmy. Of course, HotMC isn't just about what I think. Hot MC is a democracy. Take it away, Mate!

J: Geez. Jimmy Bartel. That guy is a really special guy. You can tell because, as you say, he stands out as super handsome in the AFL's handsomest club AND he looks good all the ways!

Like this:

With a beard, running

Like this:

Without a beard, running

Like this:

The original caption on this picture when we found it on the internet was "Some guy kissing Jimmy Bartel". Heh.

K: Whoa there. He sure does look good all the ways.Here is another one:

"Why no, Max, I haven't read Miss Soft Crab today. They said what now? HAHAHAHA. Oh Max. You do look  bit like a carpet".

K: Personally, I love how Jimmy wears the long sleeved jumper. Football players do not seem to understand how good that looks, so few of them do it. Jimmy does it though. Covers those arms right up like he know he should.

J: Yeah, there is something super special about the way Jimmy wears the long sleeved jumper. Leaving a little to the imagination ay, Jimmy? I also like how it suggests that he just wants to be warm and comfy. Man after my own heart. 

K: There's no reason why a man can't be hot and practical. No reason at all! I bet he's got a wardrobe full of jumpers at home. I bet he knows exactly when and how to wear those soft woolly babies like a HotMC man should. 

Here's an interesting Jimmy fact: despite being a Brownlow medalist, despite being a Norm Smith medalist, despite being the most handsome man in the AFL, Jimmy has never won the GFC Best and Fairest. 

Um, you guys, he is the mother flipping fairest of them all!

J: HAHAHA! Yeah he is!

Another thing that is interesting about Jimmy as a hunk is that he is so different to a hunk like, say, Viggo, our inaugural MSC HotMC hunk. Viggo, of course, is a real hunk, a mature and hot man, Jimmy is more of your straight up PHWOAR hunk. And I think it is important to note that we have room in our hearts for every kind of hunk.

You know I spend a fair amount of time in the Geelong area and now and again I see a GFC player. Varcoe, Ling, Ottens, Steve Johnson, and every time I think, "why is it never Jimmy?" But, truth be told, I probably would barely be able to contain myself if I did. 

K: Oh, I'm straight up sure I couldn't contain myself if I saw him in the wild. I got all giggly when I saw Nick Riewoldt at the Coles on Church Street one time, and he couldn't even make it on to the HotMC emergency substitute list. 

Anyway, regardless of whether we ever get to test how apeshit we would go if we saw him in real life,  I'm pretty sure I speak for both of us when I say, Jimmy Bartel, you are a top shelf hunk and I hope that damned girlfriend of yours knows how damned lucky she is goddamn it.