Black and white

I think it's important to acknowledge the point K alluded to on Friday. When it comes to hunks it's not all just black and white. What about Hispanic?

And Asian?!

Ha! Just jokes. But seriously folks, when it comes to hunks Miss Soft Crab may have you believe it's a matter of just two choices, hunks

and not hunks

But life is not all black and white and neither are hunks. Hunks are much more complex than that. There's of course those that are a little bit hot:

and those that are really quite hot:

Not every hunk is going to start with a question (e.g. is this guy a hunk?) and end with a definitive answer (e.g. YES)

Most times you want to figure out if someone is a hunk it will probably just end up with a murky kinda maybe. But that's ok too, that's life guys. And not surprisingly, that's Collin Farrel too. I initially found him pretty repulsive and then I saw him in In Bruges which I really enjoyed and liked him in and then I saw him on Graham Norton and quite enjoyed him and I guess I think K's probably right, he's a little bit hot. And that's great, good for him and good for us. They can't all be hunks, but a little bit hot is ok by me.

Great films: The Departed (AM)

Sometimes I write a blog post and I feel pretty confident I know what K's position will be on whatever I'm writing about. Sometimes I predict things wrong and sometimes I just don't know. Today I want to talk about what a great movie The Departed is. I know that when K first saw that movie she was down on it, think mainly because it wasn't Infernal Affairs. But maybe she's changed her position. It's happened before. (Ask her what she thought of Tropic Thunder that first time she saw it. You won't believe what she tells you! (Spoiler - she didn't think it was funny.)) Now Infernal Affairs is a great movie, there's no denying that. And I wouldn't be true to the spirit of Miss Soft Crab if I didn't admit that not only do I think it's a great film but we Crabs have a lot of scwhingspect I mean respect for Andy Lau and Tony Leung. So sure I felt worried about what Hollywood may do to the film, but when I saw The Departed when it came out I thought it was pretty great. Not as an Infernal Affairs remake but just as a film, it was just a great film.

I hadn't seen The Departed since 2006 or so, until it was on television last week, and I gotta tell you guys, it is one effing great film. It has this great noir feel. Not in the hammed up way you usually see noir these days, with extreme shadows and high contrast, but in a much more subtle way. But the film also has this kind of Hong Kong cinema vibe too. In one shot Leonardo is trying to catch the cop, Matt Damon, that is in with the mob, chasing him down streets and he is doesn't know its Matt Damon but he sees this reflection in this wind chime mirror... Look, I can't really explain it very well but it just really felt very HK. I just really feel that Martin Scorsese is quite good at his job. He really could go far if he puts his mind to it.

It's also worth noting that The Departed has a pretty good cast. It's set in Boston and some of Boston's finest sons are in it. Marky Mark! Matt Damon. Alec Baldwin. Ok, according to Wikipedia, Alec Baldwin is actually from Massapequa, but Jack Donaghy is from Boston, and what's good enough for 30 Rock is good enough for me. But although the record clearly shows that I love Marky Mark a lot, I have to say it's really Leonard Dicaprio that stands out in this movie for me. He really is quite good at his job. He could really go far if he puts his mind to it. 

Look, I know that no one wants to read a review of a 10-year-old movie, but don't you want to think about great stuff. Maybe you think this movie is great, maybe you don't, but let me just sing the praises of remembering great films of the past. Now that Margaret and David aren't on TV anymore doing that classic movie thing they started doing I guess that is just another hole Miss Soft Crab can fill for you. You're welcome. 

Everything I've thought about Channing Tatum in the last 36 hours (PM)

The truth is, I didn't hate the Tater Tot when I went to see Magic Mike. I just hated myself for seeing Magic Mike. I thought the Tater was going to be repulsive but he wasn't. He wasn't. But nor is he a hunk. Hunks don't inspire ambivalence, which that guy does. It's just as J says. This is what people think hunks are these days. And that's fine, they can think that. But look at this and tell me whether you feel ambivalence:

Yeah, I didn't think so. 

On this day (PM)

March 1! The day the begins my favourite season – fashion wise at least. I love Autumn in all the ways, but I love Spring and Summer in so many ways too, so who knows what my actual favourite season is.

You know what else happened on this day in history? Ron Howard was born. Also Javier Bardem. And the Salem witch trials began*. But not in that order.

It’s true that Pope B.diddy turned in his badge yesterday, but according to a guy I heard on the radio yesterday he is not in fact returning to Joey Ratzinger. (Or as the kids called him in primary school, Stinky Joey Rat-slinger**). Apparently the ruling Catholics have decided to use the US president rule where guys that used to be presidents still get called Mr President even though they are not presidents anymore. Suck it up guys. Move on. Anyway, B.diddy gets to keep his pope name, apparently. It’s fairly unprecedented, this whole pope stepping down thing and when I heard them talking about it on the radio I was even inclined to tweet.

Obviously  I mean to write 'had to coexist' not 'at to coexist'. That doesn't really mean anything.

Good luck negotiating the transition, Vatican. And happy March 1, y’all.


*According to one website. Wikipedia claims they occurred from February. Maybe that was pretrial. The bit where the lawyers select the jury, try and organise plea bargains, the bit where Corbin Bersen flirts with the pretty lawyer on the other team. That bit.

**This is not actually true. To the best of my knowledge. Also, if Catholic God exists please don’t damn me. I’d like to think you have a sense of humour.

Adidas, I just can't quit you (PM)

J is going to blow a gasket when she sees this picture I found off Stefan Edberg these days...

Warm, dry and still committed to Adidas. Pretty much her favourite things. I guess she really knows how to pick them.

Adidas, I just can't quit you (AM)

In late 2011 I saw some Adidas running gear in the window of Rebel Sport and I wanted it. It was some kind of whack, fluoro pink, eighties-inspired running shorts and singlet, but at the time I wasn't really running much or doing much proper exercise so I didn't buy them. Thought about them a lot though. So, naturally late last year when I was doing some running and needed some shorts, I decided I'd see if those delightful pink whack attacks were still around. They weren't and I just ended up buying a pair of navy and green Adidas running shorts that I liked well enough.

End of story.

I thought. But then, in January when I decided that I was really going to start running regularly and setting goals and shit like that, I decided that I may need some more running stuff. Like a singlet or two. Maybe another pair of shorts. You see, if you can remember back to when I got my compression tights in 2011, I like to have real exercise clothes to exercise in. It makes me feel more likely to succeed and generally better at stuff and also like people won't judge me 'cause I look serious about my sport. I realise this is pretty weak-minded but whatever works, right? Plus, you can only run so much. Well I can anyway, and running was all I could think about, so if I could channel some of that running obsession into clothes it seemed somehow productive. Or something.

When I thought of buying running clothes, all I wanted was Adidas. Oh sure, I looked at Nike, checked out what Puma had to offer but none of it appealed to me. I thought about it. A lot. Did that pink running ensemble really hook me so hard? I mean, guys, I bought a singlet with a giant Adidas logo on it! And a garish running jacket (which I effing love and which I have run in once and can't wait for the cooler months so I can wear it more!!)

 
And then it came to me. I suddenly knew why I wanted only Adidas.

Stefan Edberg, who has been off the tennis circuit for almost 20 years, was sponsored by Adidas. And I loved Stefan Edberg. I loved him. And even though I don't ever think about him  And even though I very rarely think about him, I am pretty sure that all those years of loving and following and thinking and watching him has ingrained Adidas as my preferred sportswear label.

Well played Adidas. Well played.

Not that I'm bitter about it. If it weren't for a childhood crush on Stefan Edberg and subsequent life-long brand allegiance to Adidas I never would have discovered these bad boys on the Internet. And soon they will be mine.

GOLD! When it comes to running clothes, the stupider the better, I always say.

So, well played Adidas for also making stuff I want.

Hunk of the Month Club: Gael Garcia Bernal

We had the hardest time settling on a hunk to celebrate this month, readers. It feels like lately, we've spent so much of our time exasperated over the lack of new hunks coming through the pipeline, and by how Big Movie expects us to believe people  like Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds are hunks, that there's barely been any time for true hunk reflection. I was about to suggest to J that we revisit Jimmy Bartel, what with it being the last week in September and  the Brownlow producers' apparent inability to give the audience what it wants.

But then inspiration hit. 

Gael Garcia Bernal.

Actor. Director. Mexican. Hunk.

I emailed J straight away and she said "Yes. He is a deadset hunk and I love him!" 

It's not hard to see why, readers. But lets explore it anyway.

K: Mate, when did you first discover GGB?

J: God, I remember the first time I saw GGB like it was yesterday. I was watching Amores Perros at the Kino and there he was. Like some kind of golden god. I was watching it with David and I could tell he was hating that movie so hard. That guy sure doesn't know a hunk when he sees one. 

Snaggle toothed and hot

K: Too bad, so sad, David. I feel sorry for people who can't (or won't) see the hunk in others. For me, there is no film experience more satisfying than one that delivers a new hunk in to my consciousness when I had no expectation of it at all. It's a rare and absolute joy. 

My first GGB experience was in Y tu mama tambien. Hot.

Of course, I had heard you talk about what a hunk GGB is, so I wasn't surprised when I saw him and found him to be a total hunk. But sometimes a little anticipation is a good thing too.

Mate, what do you think is the root of GGB's hunkiness?

Brooding and hot

J:Oh a movie with a new surprise hunk is one of the all time best things! I love that. But you are right, sometimes being a little primed for a hunk doesn't hurt. Y tu mama tambien is such a special movie of hunk. I mean, it is such a great film and GGB really, shall we say, shines.

That's a great question about the root of GGB's hotness. Let's break it down. Firstly, he is so pretty. That square jaw and big smile. Plus he can look adorable and doofusy, scary, sad hot, he does it all! Plus, an accent. And finally he's a hot Mexican. And you don't get to see that in a movie every day.

What do you think it is?

K: I think GGB being as pretty as he is goes a long way. And so smiley. Miss Soft Crab has said it before and she'll say it again: A brooding hunk is great, but a smiling hunk is something else altogether. Often, hunks own one of these dimensions, and while they may dabble in the other, they tend to hold fast to their source. GGB is equal parts a brooding hunk and a smiling hunk. Equal parts! Again, it's a rare joy. 

I feel that we should note that GGB is 1.68 metres tall. This means that GGB is in fact, short. Obviously this kind of thing can be difficult for a gentleman. A real hunk-inhibitor. Not so with the GGB.

He manages to make being a short man a source of his hunkiness, not an impediment to it. He's a short, hot man.

Black and white and hot

J: It's true. It's almost as if GGB's height is an enhancement rather than inhibitor of his hunkness. To be a grade-A hunk at the height of 168cm proves how special a person is. 

Plus not only is GGB really damn pretty, but he also speaks 5 languages and has two babies with his wife. Quintlingual family man! Hot!

Shopping and hot

K: Oh man, what a guy. I'm pretty sure GGB is our first Quintlingual HotMC hunk. Lets just go through the list to be sure:

Paul Newman

Jake Gyllenhaal

Casey Affleck

Jimmy Bartel

Viggo Mortensen.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of those guys is a fiver.

But geez, look at that list and tell me does MSC know how to choose a hunk or does MSC know how to choose a hunk?!

Here's to you, GGB. Welcome to the HotMC family.