Wow!

We all know that Japan is full of amazing things, like trains that are faster than a speeding bullet and surprisingly delicious convenience store food. 

But nothing has blown my mind more than this. 

At first glance it's a dish with a penguin on it. 

 

Kuwaii!

I used it to serve KB's breakfast one morning. When we started to receive clear signals that no more breakfast was going to be consumed, 

Appleheart said to KB "please pass me the goat plate of you've finished your breakfast". 

It's no secret that Appleheart  is not a morning person, but mistaking a penguin for a goat is bad even for him.

I told him so too.

He calmly turned the plate towards me and this is what I saw.

 

WOWOWOWOW!

Wednesday wonders - watermelon (AM)

Regular readers of this blog must think my brain is a total light weight, the frequency with which it is blown. But it's like the ads for SBS used to say, the world is an amazing place. So what's blowing my mind this week? Good question!

It's not just that watermelons are delicious. I mean most fruits are. Watermelons aren't even close to my favourite. Maybe that's too harsh, They are in the top 10. Probably. Whatever. The thing that blows my mind about watermelons is that they are huge and they have this very hard green shell and this soft, sweet, watery, PINK flesh. I mean, does that not blow your mind?

Think about discovering them! Watermelons are originally from Africa. Hot ass Africa and these sweet bastards just grow wild there. What a delight! I just think that, even though watermelons are not as delicious as mangoes or a good apricot, they are the most magical fruit. Apparently watermelon seeds were found in Tutankhamun's tomb! But I really hope they were not only for fancy people. I guess they are native so probably they are and have been widely available in Africa. According to the bible the Jews ate watermelons when enslaved by Pharaoh in Egypt! I guess watermelons were too bulky for them to take when fleeing, what a shame though, imagine watermelons at passover!

And they need bees for pollination! I know lots of things do, but growing watermelons requires a growers to have a beehive per acre! I kind of love that! And I wonder about watermelon honey! Why isn't that a thing?!

Watermelons, guys! Watermelons!

Amazing Animals (PM)

That is a motherflipping worm?!?!?! WOW! Sea creatures are the best!

I always see this book about squat lobsters. Which aren't even lobsters at all! They are more closely related to the porcelain crab! Anyway this is what the cover of the book looks like:

WHOA, right?

Here is another squat lobster:

CUTE!

And here is a porcelain crab:

Shit! Who knew crustaceans were so beautiful!?

But me, I'm a jellyfish person myself. Now those are my favourite.

That's it! I'm going to the aquarium tomorrow!

Amazing Animals (AM)

Anyone who knows us knows that we are total beach babes. Hell, you don't even have to know us to know that. If you just saw us walking down the street you would think oh man, where's the surf ladies? because our whole look and feel screams beach babe.

HAHAHAHA.That is a total lie. We do not look like beach babes at all. We look like this:  

Thor Friendship is coming.

But J is in love with a beach babe and I'm pretty sure Baby is a beach babe waiting to happen. But that's beside the point.

What is the point? Oh that's right.

Yesterday, I was tinkering about in the internet and I found a picture of an underwater creature that totally blew my mind, even more than the fathead sculpin fish. 

Readers: behold the Spirobranchus giganteus, also known as the red and white Christmas tree worm.

WHAT THE EFF YOU GUYS?!?!?

Does that thing just totally blow your minds, or what?

It blows my mind so much that I just invented that whole fake beach babe introduction thing so I could get you all thinking about marine environs and then post about it, even though the introduction has nothing really to do with this worm. 

Who even know worms lived under the sea? Not me! And who even knew worms could look like that? Again, not me!

I've seen it all. 

That's all, readers. Have a lovely day. 

The amazing things I heard this weekend (AM)

Check it out, yesterday I was just going about my usual Sunday business and everywhere my ears turned they were filled with amazing new things.

Like when I was at the market waiting in line to get a borek I overheard a conversation behind me. One woman asked another where boreks are from. Now, just in case you don't know the borek shop at the market it also sells falafels and kebabs and the like. Anyway, the second woman answers 'I don't know, maybe Russia.' And the first woman says 'Oh, yeah that could be right.' It would make sense, you know, being sold in the same shop as the famous Russian falafel.

But seriously folks, do you know what else I heard yesterday? While listening to Dirty Deeds on RRR I learned that there is an allowable insect contaminant level in food. That is, for example, when weevils get in your flour it's because you bought them together. And it is totally legal. Now I understand that perhaps this is necessary and safe, but gee, I really wish I didn't know that.

Turns out that the Australian government are not as forthcoming as the US on these rules so I can't tell you the details but I can tell you it's true (according to the insect expert on the radio) and I can tell you that, according to Wikipedia, in the US there are 'acceptable levels of food contamination from sources such as maggots, thrips, insect fragments, "foreign matter", mold, rodent hairs, and insect and mammalian faeces.' What the eff is foreign matter?! Aren't maggots, thrips, insect fragments, mold and faeces foreign enough?!? If Monday morning isn't upsetting you enough already I encourage you to read about these contamination rules.

But finally guys, the thing that really got me excited was hearing about the Thermomix demonstration that Primadonna went to on Friday night. Holy moley!

Now before yesterday all I knew about these things was that: a) they are expensive; b) they do everything; and c) people love them. No freaking wonder! Do you know what they do? EVERYTHING! Apparently at the demonstration Prima had the best sorbet she'd ever eaten. Sugar free and with frozen oranges as the only freezing agent. Thermomix made risotto, made a salad, made a custard. That little son of a bitch did it all! At its fastest the blades go at the speed of a jet! WHAT?!? I wasn't even at the demonstration and by the end of hearing about it I was ready to drop $2000 and change careers  to become a Thermomix consultant.

I don't want to give to much away but STAY TUNED FOR AN ACCOUNT OF THE THERMOMIX DEMONSTRATION I FULLY INTEND TO ATTEND!!!!

Friday Favourites: Coffee (AM)

My office is on the 23rd floor of a building that mainly belongs to a large telecommunications company we will call PhoneTown. When I catch the lift to my office, I almost always share it with between 1 and 10 dudes from PhoneTown. And when I say dudes, I mean dudes. I swear there are 20 PhoneTown dudes for every PhoneTown lady. And not in that good way.

From time to time, usually when there is no one else on the lift,  dudes from PhoneTown will try to strike up a conversation with me. Without exception, these conversations are totally lame - some of the lamest I have ever had in fact. And I say that as someone who loves talking about lame shit, so you know it got to be bad. When I'm on the lift with a PhoneTown brother and I hear that tell-tale intake of breath that means I am about to talk to you, I just want to slap my forehead. But instead I smile and nod and listen to the dumb shit they say while privately thinking  uncharitable thoughts. Par example:

"Another day, another dollar, right?" *eyeroll*
"You can't possibly work at PhoneTown. You look way too happy!". Thanks for ruining my buzz, d-bag.
"So what's on Level 23?" Your mother!

However, of all the dumb shit dudes from PhoneTown have said to me, by far the dumbest thing was said to me just the other day. It was first thing in the morning, so I was holding a cup of coffee. Dude said:
"You've got a coffee. That's a good way to start the morning."
He said it like no one has ever thought to start the day with a coffee before. And he looked at me all expectantly, like he had astutely picked up on a special interest of mine, and like maybe we would bond because we were the only two people in the world who think it is a good idea to start the day with a coffee. I really had to make an effort not to laugh and say "Oh, brother!". I mean, that is the kind of lame comment that makes you feel a little offended on behalf of your brain and  ears. I got off the lift and walked to my desk, reflecting on what had just happened and shaking my head slowly.  It wasn't until I sat down that I actually took a sip of my coffee. Of course, the second I did so, all my troubles melted away because coffee is the most delicious and wonderful thing and every cup I have, I fall in love all over again.
Two sips in I was thinking you know what PhoneTown guy? You are effing right.You're not lame, you're just getting back to basics.  Now that I am not on a coffee high I have reverted to thinking that PhoneTown guy was really lame, but when I'm drinking that stuff, you can tell me anything and I won't care, because it's just me and the coffee guys. It's just me and the coffee.

Ever since that morning I've kind of reconnected with my love for coffee. It's been so great! I have been paying extra special attention to how delicious it is, instead of just throwing it back so I can stop jonesing. I think you should all do the same.

So lets hear it for coffee. Today's Friday Favourite. A little cup of miracles that you can enjoy whenever you want for only $3.50 or thereabouts.



This is what this morning's coffee looked like.



The world is a confusing place

There really are a lot of confusing things in the world.

One trillion
Even though I did know the facts about one trillion, that doesn't mean I am any less confused. I guess I have just been wondering for longer than you, how can one bunch of people think a trillion is a million millions while another bunch of people think it is a million billions? How do the people at the World Bank know what anyone is talking about? How can there be a million billion anythings in this world?! Grains of sand maybe but surely that is it.


Ned Kelly
I don't really get him and why everyone is so gaga for him. I know he was meant to be standing up to the oppressive English and all that jazz but um, I just don't really care. Or rather the whole thing just sits a bit wrong with me. Like a killer is a killer right?! I guess I just think there is some moral ambiguity about worshipping criminals, even if they were fighting for a cause. But also I just don't know how much I buy the cause thing. That's all I'm saying. So I paid little attention to the whole thing about Ned's bones. The only time I may be interested in Ned's bone is if we are talking about this guy.


Mitochondrial Eve

Mitochondria and Mitochondrial Eve on the other hand are AWESOME!

We all came from this one woman who lived 200, 000 years ago. And science can prove it. That is without a doubt a total freaking mind-bender.

You know what else this means? Who ever you are doing it with, they are related to you! HAHA!

Science and Nature: two of the all time greats

I took your advice and looked at all of the photos on that website. You are right, they really are quite incredible. Now I have a slightly blown mind, not just because there was technology available in 1909 to take colour photos, but also because of how verdant and lovely Russia was in 1909, and how strange it is to see these people who were about to live through revolutions and wars just standing in a forest looking at the camera. Old photos always make me feel a little funny so that's not very surprising I guess.


But back to things that blow minds.


Unlike you, I basically try to avoid thinking about how things work because I take about two steps down the path of discovery and bam, my mind gets blown. As a result of not knowing how anything works, I am quite impressed by most things. And even if I am not that impressed, I am very pleased. For example, most mornings when I get in the shower, I can't help but have a little smile over the fact that hot water is piped in to my house and I can access it any time by turning a tap. Now this is a system I understand, so it doesn't impress me per se, but it certainly pleases me.


But another thing that happens most mornings impresses me a great deal. I have an African Violet plant in my bathroom that AB gave me as a thank you present when I looked after her dogs one time. I wish I had a photo of it here because it is a real beauty. Here is a photo from the interweb so you can get an idea. Mine is pink though.


So lovely. Anyway, AB propagated this plant from a single leaf. I know, it sounds crazy, but that's how it's done! You cut off a leaf from an established African Violet, then you place that leaf in a pot, and a whole new plant grows. Here is a picture from the interweb so you can get an idea.

I guess the big leaf at the back is the original leaf and those little green ones at the front are new leaves. Isn't that incredible! I just find that so incredible! Once upon a time my plant was just a single leaf. And now it is a big plant with many leaves and many flowers, flowers that look sparkly in the light! Every morning when I look at my African Violet in the bathroom I just think WOW.

So lets hear it for science AND nature, shall we? Hooray!

Shut up Wikipedia

Your compression tights sound fantastic and I want some for myself. I say YES to human performance, multiplied. Who wouldn't want that? Other kinds of performance I would not like to see multiplied however, such as cockroach performance or spider performance. Lets hope they never make a pair of compression tights with eight leg holes for spiders, because those little a-holes are scary enough without multiplied performance. Even though the idea of tiny tiny eight legged compression tights does sound cute. But not that cute.
So now that I have confirmed that I want the compression tights, I am going to do some internet research to find out what they are and how they work.
****Time lapse*****
Oh, interesting. According to the internets, compression sportswear keeps muscles nice and warm so as to prevent muscle strain and fatigue, and enhances athletic performance.
They sound like super great things!
Wikipedia also advises that they are also used as a way to keep the male genitalia in place. Whether this is all the time or just when exercising, I do not know.
Wikipedia totally lost me at this point because it started talking about how jockstraps have fallen out of favor because of their embarrassing looks, and how women also wear compression sportswear when playing sports that involve wearing skirts or kilts. Really? Kilts? WTF kind of sport involves wearing a kilt?
At any rate, hooray for compression tights and hooray for multiplied human performance.

The only girl in the world

You know how when you start a new project you think that if you just have the right tools it is fail proof? Like at the start of a semester you buy new stationery. Possibly with different coloured pens and notebooks for each subject. How you think that if you have the right clothes for exercise you will get super buff super easily and feel better and hotter doing it? But then, who wants to spend heaps of dollars on that kind of clothing when you could be spending heaps of dollars on other, hotter kind of clothing? Right? Am I right? Anyway, you know how you think all these things but actually stationery and clothes don't really help, ultimately?

Well forget that. Because last night I was given some compression tights and I KNOW that I am going to just start running the shit out of.. them. I freakin' love these bad boys. The marketing line of this 2XU high performance compression wear is HUMAN PERFORMANCE. MULTIPLIED. And I as I brushed my teeth in them last night I really felt like I was doing the best damn job of it I'd ever done.

The picture on the box looks like this:


So I assumed I was getting full length pants. But when I pulled them out of the box I was a little disappointed to see that they looked like 3/4 length pants. I don't like this style of pant, even for exercising. I guess this is largely due to yoga where there is lots of bending and having my eyeballs that close to my leggies, well, I'd rather they were covered.

Here is a picture of the compression tights against my normal running tights:

But when I put them on they looked like this:

But with my feet right under where the pants finish! THEY ARE SO COMPRESSED!

But that's not all! They made me feel so buff and powerful! LIKE THE MOST POWERFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD! Or, as I like to say at even the hint of an opportunity, like the only girl in the world!* Until you have put on compression tights you have never felt this strength. And I haven't even gone for a run yet! I'm going to be AMAZING!

*WOWSER! I have never seen that video clip before. Rihanna looks crazed.**

**Double WOWSER I think I'm going footnote crazy this week.

Kate Middleton, you really dropped the ball

Today I went to the Met.

I love the Met!

In addition to all the shit-hot art on the walls, I saw a special Alexander McQueen exhibition which consisted of garments, shoes and headwear from the early 1990’s onwards. While I couldn’t take photos, you can see a lot of pieces on the Met webbie, so you should all probably do that. And let me say that while I dislike the way the term amazing is used to describe everything these days, honest to god, every single piece in this exhibition was amazing.

I think I had two favourites. This one, made entirely from pheasant feathers:

Pheasant feathers! Imagine how warm it would be

And this one.

Lace and antlers, together at last!

Anyway, the whole way round the exhibition I kept thinking that even though Alexander McQueen is dead and therefore this degree of awesomeness may be lost forever, surely Kate Middleton wasted an opportunity when, in engaging Alexander McQueen to design her wedding dress, she ended up wearing this* yawnfest when she could have ended up with something like the above.

Anyway, I am wrapping up the day by eating an arepa (thanks to the helpful suggestion of a MSC reader!),watching The Italian Job and drinking American beer with my Mum.

Nice.

* You will note that I have not linked to a photo of the wedding dress, because I can’t find a decent one on the internet. Can you believe it? They don’t even have a decent one on her wikipedia page. They do, however, have an hilarious picture of her her parents with a bollard.