Good weather for ducks (PM)

A lady in a country Victoria bakery would make that comment about ducks, I guess. She'd probably offer you a neenish tart too.

I guess Baby thought it was good weather for ducks too. He was in my bed over night and woke up in the middle of the night when it was raining. He started telling me some complicated story about a show called Sarah and Duck where some kid was playing a game with rubber ducks and mistook Duck for a rubber duck and something something something... Who knows what he was saying it was the middle of the night and I don't know about the weather but it was good time for sleeps, that much I know. 

Good weather for ducks (AM)

So how about that rain last night? I haven't been in (read: laid in bed and listened to) a storm like that for yonks. It's pretty exciting really, providing you're in the conditions set out in brackets above. 

One time I was in country Victoria for work, and had been driving for hours in the rain. I was a bit frazzled as I went into a country bakery to get a sausage roll for lunch, but the old woman behind the counter said "Its good weather for ducks" by way of greeting. I'd never heard that phrase before but thought it was such a good one I bought a lamington too. 

I wish I hadn't put off bringing the washing in though. Oh well. 

Haiku Thursday (AM)

Beautiful birds

As if for years

I was blind to your beauty

Eyes are open now

No relief

Rainy winter brings

Frizzy hair. Sweaty summer brings

Frizzy hair. Shit.

Avocado
Damn, avocado!
Why you gotta taste so good?
Wanna eat you up!

Royal Melbourne Show, you're ok by me!

The Show gets a really bad rap. Does it? Or is that just me? I just think of it as heaps of crappy food and way too many people. Nothing but show bags and people trying to sell you really shit shit. Ugh. But you know what? I went last week and I kind of loved it.

I think there were two keys to success. Firstly, I was with LB and Baby. Baby is only 16 months old, he doesn't know what he is missing out on when I don't buy him fairy floss or show bags or giant inflatable plastic glittery things and when I don't put him on rides. He just likes looking at all the stuff.

The second thing was that it was a really miserable day. Cold, a little bit wet. Sounds bad right? But you know it made it kind of great because there were not too many people there and also you just want to get from place to place, no dawdling, just head down and move through the wind and cold. It means it is so easy to ignore all the ugly stuff that makes you not want to go to the show.

I will admit that the main reason we went was to see the Irish Setters. Doggy's brothers from another mother.

Here are some now.



We missed the showing bit (which is pretty weird anyway) and just walked down the aisles checking out these hot bitches. And dogs. Win.

After that we checked out the poultry and alpaca pavilion. OMG! Poultry friggen rules! Do you know how beautiful chickens are?! Really. Their feathers are actually so beautiful!



Do you know how many weird variations there are?




Did you know there are ducks with 18th century style bouffant?



And do you know, I mean really know, what a turkey looks like?


The poultry pavilion rules! OK!

Of course the animal nursery was also awesome. Cute little piggies and calves and donkeys. An adorable baby duck. And I saw a lamby that was born at 6am that DAY! Just walking around like an adorable little lamby.



Finally, of course, we went to the Country Women's Association pavilion. I love the CWA pavilion. I love how they put all the winning foodstuffs in glass cabinets to look at.


Like you can see a sponge and make some kind of assessment. "Mmm, you can tell by the height and crumb of this one that Marge really deserved to win."




Oh, and they have a fancy food pavilion these days too where people give you free samples.

You know the show really taught me to overcome some prejudices. You should check it out! Except it ends today. Whoopsee.

Look at them ducks

Where the hell are you going to put your ducks indeed?! You know to me it kind of sounds like a metaphor for that labyrinthine duck vagina Isabella Rossellini taught us about on Friday. But more pertinent to you.

I have to say that commenters "Sarah" and Cloudcontrol make some good points. When I first read your post my immediate reaction was that near the TV was definitely the goer. And I like CC's idea of them looking like they are about to fly out the window. But "Sarah"'s suction cup window idea is kind of adorable too. And you aren't getting Graham to put blinds up on that window, right? Whoever the fuck Graham is.

But to that thing you tried to hide up there in the first paragraph. Remember the other week you told me that you ate cream on apple and I was all "on raw apple, that is such a lame excuse to eat cream" and you were all "no, cooked apple" and I was all, "oh, that's totes legit" and then I felt bad for accusing you of such a thing. Well after that golden syrup in ramekin declaration I am withdrawing all bad feeling from accusing you of eating cream on raw apple.

Where the hell am I going to put my ducks?

A couple of months ago, I moved in to my very own place.
It's tiny, but super adorable. The best part is that its all mine and I can do whatever I want with it. I can also do whatever I want in it. For example, the other night, I really felt like a sweet treat after dinner, but because I didn't have any proper sweet treats in the house, I just put a few teaspoons of golden syrup into a ramekin and ate that. I probably wouldn't have done that in my share house days, but you know, my house, my rules.

The best part of having your own place is that you can decorate it however you please. Paint stuff. Hammer stuff in walls left right and centre. You can let your imagination run wild! Of course, everyone will know that you have decorated it yourself so if it looks bad, it's all on you.  This thought has paralysed me a little since I moved in, and despite there being metres of wall space upon which to hang things, I haven't hung anything because I am worried I am going to stuff it up.

I have a bunch of really nice things to hang, too, so I really need to get over it and start hammering. The thing I most want hang are some flying ducks that Scampy, Neville and Banana gave me for my birthday a few years ago. Here they are, just sitting on a stool waiting to be hung.

I love these ducks. But I have no idea where the hell I am going to put them. On the wall at the top of the stairs?

As you can see, there is a whole lot of blank space there, begging to be gussied up. But the ducks might look a little silly amongst all that white wall. I think that I should keep that for something bigger.

Maybe I could put them on the wall above the kitchen table.

They could look quite cute there, but I was thinking it might be better to hang a bunch of other things there. I have some paintings and prints that I thought might look good all clustered together. The ducks would just get in the way.

There is also the wall near the television.
Would the ducks look cute above the television? Like they are flying past it? 

I can't decide. Also, The Bachelorette, a scene from which is displayed here on my television, is a terrible show. That's one thing I am sure of.

Anyway, if members of the Crab community have ideas about where to put the ducks, I'm all ears.

Remember this awesome thing

You know, here at Miss Soft Crab we just want everyone to have a good time. Sure, that may happen with us talking about what we had for dinner last night, but you know what, other people are super entertaining too. And that is why to today is "Remember this awesome thing" day.

Yep it's a new segment where we can just remember super things that other great people have done. Maybe you've seen it all before, but I guarantee it is all worth seeing again.*

Today let's remember Green Porno.

I love Isabella Rossellini, for a whole bunch of reasons, here are some of them:







*This guarantee doesn't actually mean anything