Don't know what you got 'til it's gone (AM)

When I first met my ex-hairdresser it was like... magic. It was just luck. Or was it kismet. I called up this salon that was owned by a friend of a friend. He'd cut my hair years earlier and I always liked his cuts but when I decided to try out his new salon I decided to leave it to fate. I remember calling, requesting a time and being told, "Sure, you can see Tom."

Tom.

We talked about my wants, my needs, he looked at me and knew what to do. I felt so safe in his hands. And then he washed my hair. And gave me the head massage. I know a lot of people that have seen Tom and back then they all commented on the head massage. That massage was a game changer. Once I've had one that came close. Once. But Tom's massages back then, they were something else. That was it. And the cut. The cut was just so...good. And it looked salon-great for days, weeks almost. I didn't even know it could be like that. He did my colour once too. It was great. Dark brown with these caramel chunks. I mean it sounds foul, but it looked awesome. And that day it was like he blow-dried my hair longer. What?!

For the first few years it was like this, great, dynamic cuts that would make me feel like a million bucks. Oh, sure, he was a real self-absorbed talker, but I didn't mind. Often I even enjoyed it.

But nothing  gold can stay, right? He seemed to get tired of the work, of life. My haircuts were never bad but they just stopped exciting me. He stopped listening to me. Things were stale. I moved on.

On to what? A new hairdresser every cut. A desperate search trying to find the one that makes me feel something. Anything. Oh sure, there was Tim. I thought he may be the one, but on reflection I think I was just desperate and the proximity to Tom's name made it seem some how poetic. Ultimately though Tim and I weren't meant to be.

I've had a bunch of cuts from a bunch of different people and they've all been been pretty good. But none of them have satisfied me the way Tom did. And then on Friday I got a cut that I just kind of hate. And now there is nothing but despair. Not over the hair. I feel philosophical about that. It'll grow out, it'll be fine. I despair of every finding a hairdresser. I thought I'd just meet someone, that I could find a hairdresser like that again. I was a fool. Just a fool to believe...

Hairdressers say the darndest things! (AM)

So, I go to a hairdresser in Windsor. It is in this big ol' terrace with real fancy, excessive decor  like something out of Vogue Living and a clientele that I think largely head south from their South Yarra homes for something a little 'edgy'. Or something. But they give good head hair cuts, so I go there. Plus, the shit that comes out of people's mouths there! Gold!

For example, last week while I was waiting for my haircut a woman of about 40 came in. She was attractive enough in that way rich women are and clearly very regular at that salon. She was just wearing pants and boots and some sort of shirt and sweater combo but you could tell everything was expensive. She kind of looked like this:

 

She was talking to her hairdresser, the salon owner, and he was trying to convince her she should cut her hair off and go with a long bob. The conversation went like this:

Hairdresser: Yeah, we'll cut it off around your decolletage for something a little more funky. Are you bored with your hair? I can see you're bored with it! I'm bored with it!

Aniston wannabe: How short will it be? Not a bob, right?

Hairdresser: No just to here. It's such a great look, very sexy and flattering.

Wannabe: Really?

Hairdresser: YEAH! It's fun! Just look at Alexa Chung.

ALEXA CHUNG! Who would be 15 years younger than that woman and is a model! And looks like this:

Yes, fairly attractive South Yarra woman with nothing better to do than get haircuts on a Thursday morning, a haircut will make you look like this!

Sheesh. That was good, but not as good as what happened when I sat down for my haircut and the dude in the next chair was discussing his views on journalism so loudly there was no way I could have tuned it out.

"The...ahh...whaddyacallit? Not The Onion... the ahh...Huffington Post!  It presents itself as so cutting edge and liberal but it just steals snippets from The New York Times. Now the New York Times has some good articles and journalists. You know it still has some gonzo journalists."

Really guy?

Well, at this point it became clear client and hairdresser were not really on the same page.

Hairdresser: Did you say Gonzo?

Client:  Yeah.

Hairdresser: He was my favourite character on The Muppets!

Oh dear.

 At this point even the idiot in the chair realised he'd lost the hairdresser and I think he was a little speechless so the hairdresser went on... The weird thing was that the hairdresser and client seemd to have some sort of friendship outside the salon and Client knew Hairdresser's brother.

Hairdresser: My brother used to be nicknamed after one of the Sesame Street characters. Guess which one! It was based on his appearance.

Client: Um... Big Bird?

Hairdresser: No Beaker!

Client: HAHA! I was close though!

NO YOU FUCKING WEREN'T!!!!

Haiku Thursday - Haitus still continues

The ex

Every hair cut

Makes me wonder why I stayed

With him so damn long

Hey we are still on haitus till January 23rd. Just over one week and we will back so some hot new content!

I share your hair fail

OMG, mate was it THIS straightening product you bought? The one with 50 times the safe level of formaldehyde in it?! I think you should stay away from hair straightening products mate. But I understand why you were tempted.

You know, after your original grooming post, I thought I would try to do a little hair specialness myself. I tried to recreate the hairstyle that I wore for AB's wedding. Here I am in the hairdressers chair, getting it done.

I really loved that hair style. People complimented me on it all night, so much so that I started to think that my hair must look really fug most of the time, because there was genuine surprise in most people's compliments. Anyway, it was an awesome hairstyle and it took the hairdresser all of five minutes to prepare. Five minutes! That's nothing, right? I couldn't help but think that if it was so easy for him, perhaps I could do it too.
The other day I tried.
It ended up looking like this.
I can't do it guys.

I get it

The lady in the picture sure does have a stupid look on her face, like she is thinking something that is really troubling her, such as "I know horses wear shoes, but do Unicorns?"
Regardless, there is something awesome about her hair, which I certainly don't need to tell you given you have kept this picture for so long.
I must say that it does not surprise me that you are interested in a perm. In addition to your need to reclaim the look that your ex-hairdresser took away, you love the style of Woody Allen women circa 1980 and most of those ladies had perms. My personal favourite is Diane Keaton's perm in Manhattan.

But yes, in summary I get why you are feeling a little permiscuous. HAHAHAHA.

But seriously folks, lets properly consider the question of whether you should get a perm. I expect you are right, and that perm technology has come a long way since the eighties. While long out of favour on the western head, the asian head has gone bananas for the perm in the last few years. I imagine that this booming tiger market has translated to some serious technological advancements which is good news for you. Plus, I think there are different kinds of perms, like the super tight ringlet perm and the softer, more wavy perm. So you could very well get a perm that doesn't look super permy, if that's what you wanted. But for me, the major consideration is not the perm, because I'm pretty sure that if you got one, it would look great. It's the growing out of the perm that worries me.
As we all know, nothing gold can stay. Even if you get an awesome perm that you love, you most likely won't want it to last forever, and therefore you will need an exit strategy. Maybe it's not that hard to gracefully grow out a perm - I've never seen it happen so I don't know. But I imagine that if not properly managed, a perm in the grow-out phase would look really flat at the roots and then all askew at the ends, kind of like hat hair. This would be a difficult look to pull off. But heck, if anyone can do it, you can do it.
I think you need to find someone who knows about perms and ask them these important questions. Like a new hairdresser. But who? And where? And what are their head massages like?

Don't be alarmed

My friend L-bomb is (was?) obsessed with perms. She kind of wanted one. But she has this beautiful straight thick hair and she was never, ever going to get one. And I think that is wise. But she had no qualms about trying to make me get one. "Girlfriend, you crazy" I used to say to her. Until she ripped out this picture from a magazine and told me this is how she thought I could look.


That girl sure has a stupid expression on her face but I do like her hair. I carried this picture around in my diary for the rest of the year. And when it was time to retire that diary I put it away.

I've been trying to grow my hair for some time. The last few years really and then recently I had a very upsetting experience with my now ex-hairdresser and I realised that hairdresser-client relationships can't last forever. I still hate this haircut. Or rather I feel nothing good about. The initial horrors have gone, that horrible feeling, as you described it, ‘…robbed, cheated and totally wronged. And also mad at yourself for being complicit’, it’s fading. But I still don't feel good about this haircut and I can't see how things are going to get better. I mean sure I can keep growing it but I kind of feel like I want to do something different. And then I started to think about the L-bomb and the perm.

Perm technology has probably come a really long way, right? Unless it hasn't developed because no-one gets perms any more. Do people get perms? Could a perm look good? I don't want to say the word perm again. It's kind of grossing me out. I feel conflicted.