Cheese! (AM)

Cheese!

I love it so much, I actually don’t know where to begin. I guess maybe I wasn't eating much of it for a while. And recently I have been eating it a bit more. I don't know, all I know is that if I had really thought about things yesterday I could have told you that what I am really loving right now is cheese.

Last night I made a caprese salad, or insalata caprese as the Italians would say. The mozzarella I used wasn’t fancy or anything, just from the supermarket, but still it was delicious. Cheese!

For David’s birthday I bought him a jar of stilton.

But on one of the many occasions I was carrying it to work for a lunch date we were meant to have I dropped the jar. I didn’t realise it had broken until David unwrapped it. It only seemed right to buy him a new, unbroken jar. Which means that I now have a broken jar of stilton in my fridge. I guess I’ll have to eat it. Cheese!

On Sunday night I made a delicious salad of mint, coriander and beetroot. It was really good, but you know what would have made it better? A little feta. Preferably a marinated goats one. Cheese!

You know what I plan to snack on today? Cheddar, butter and cruskits. Did you know that this combination makes it feel like you are eating cheezels?! In the best possible way. CHEESE!

Cheese. Is there anything it can’t do? 

Apollo Thirteens (AM)

This post was going to be about baking these biscuits as christmas gifts for Chambo, Lil and AB, who I am having dinner with tonight.

They look so good on the interwebsite of David Lebovitz...

They're called Baci di dama. Should their fancy name have served as a warning to me? Maybe. 

Something went wrong along the way. 

Was it how I roasted the hazelnuts, then skinned them like some latter day furrier?

Hazelnuts to the left, their skins to the right.

I don't think so. 

Was it how I used my coffee grinder instead of a food processes to grind the nuts?

Probably. Whatever it was, when it came time to roll out the dough it just was not happening. It kept crumbling and seemed like it was game over. 

This was disappointing because baking failures cut so deep. Also because I wouldn't have presents for my friends. And also because I would have to tell you guys about the failure because I hadn't prepared anything else to post about today. Despite my disappointment I went ahead with the remaining steps in the recipe because I am a TROOPER. 

I put the dough in the freezer as instructed and left if there for 20 minutes.
When I took it out and started rolling it in to little balls, it seemed to be holding together quite well. Like, exactly how it was meant to.

Things had taken an unexpected turn.

Then I baked them and shit you guys, they totally worked.

These are the actual biscuits I baked. I know, right? 

I guess I shouldn't have been so hasty to dismiss them. And lucky I followed through, because I really almost didn't. And if I hadn't I wouldn't know how thoroughly effing delicious taste, truly like the kisses of a lady (which is what Baci di dama translates to), if the lady who is kissing you is made out of biscuit.

But you know, because I touched the void a little during the moments when I thought they hadn't worked, I am going to call them Apollo Thirteens after the famous failed moon landing brought to life by Tom Hanks and Gary Sinise in the movie Apollo Thirteen. Because like the Apollo Thirteen voyage which was unsuccessful because they didn't land on the moon but successful because they didn't die, I feel like these biccies both did and didn't work.
You can get the recipe here. Don't give up when the dough appears to lack integrity!

Merry Christmas Lil, AB and Chambo. 

Haiku Thursday (AM)

Last Night's Wild Weather 

I

I love a big storm

As much as the next person

Maybe even more!

II

But wasn't that just
Really heavy rain last night?
I'm just saying, guys. 

Easy Off Bam

Why don't people use

Mr Sheen any more? I

Really liked that guy.

Silvio Berlusconi
Hello  Italy!
Great news that your massive knob
Of a PM's gone!

Ski Trip Pt III - What I learned

I guess that while I was at the snow it's not that I learned things, exactly. More like things I already knew became identified, realised. Much like the theory of the snow plough/pizza slice shape one must make with their skis to stop, which I had long known but never done until last week, I feel like many things made this same transition from theory to reality.

They still listen to Pearl Jam

We had a coffee at the bottom of one of the runs at this 'Bavarian Beer Hall'. It is just a place with that name. It sells beer. It has a confused identity. It has a mountain theme, you can tell by the deer heads and horns on the wall. It sells food, fish and chips, burgers, pizzas.


Yes, they have a traditional Bavarian pizza. And they have red and white check table cloths. Don't they know that means Italian?!


When we were leaving they started playing Pearl Jam. It really made sense to me. Pearl Jam seems the exact music that snow sport enthusiasts listen too. A few days later I heard a cover band playing late '90s Foo Fighters. Of course.

Snow chains are really important

When you see the sign that tells you to put your snow chains on and then you see snow, put your snow chains on. Maybe you will think everything is ok, then hit a slippery spot, then have someone pull the handbrake in panic, then the car could do a 180 turn into, thank god not off the, side of the mountain. Anything could happen without snow chains. Use them.

Learning a new skill is awesome

It's not really that often that I learn a new skill. I wish it happened more because it is awesome. I only skied for two days. Lesson day then one more day. That second day I was by myself. And I forgot my gloves. In the first hour I fell over and my hands were freezing and skiing seemed boring. Then I had a coffee and went back for more. By the end of the day I could manoeuvre around all the people and not fall over and I felt so great. I kept saying to myself, 'This will be my last run,' but then I would have all this fun and I would keep going back for more! It's not like I can ski good or anything, just better than before and it is so exciting. I want more new skills.

Ski Trip Pt II

I had my first ski lesson on Friday. I had never skied before. Not ever.

I decided I wanted to ski instead of snowboard because snowboarding seemed more unnatural and harder. This is what I had thought and this is where the thought had stopped obviously, because it wasn't until I put on skis in the snow that I realised that having skis on is also really hard and unnatural; that if you have never worn skis before it is really hard to manoeuvre and it is just as hard to stand still.

But that was before my lesson, when LB made me put the skis on to see how it felt. My instructor, Federico, was much more gentle, easing me into this new experience.

Federico, obviously, was Italian. He took the group of eight first-timers that I was in. Within 1/2 an hour the group was down to seven. By an hour, six. Ten minutes later it was at five.

First Federico made us put one ski on then ski around in a circle. Then put the ski on the other foot. And circle. Then he would say things like, "Parfect"*. Then we put on two skis and parallel walked up the slightest of inclines. "Bend your knees in towards the slope. Parfect!"

Then skiing down that slightest of slopes. "Open your snow plough." He would say. And when he had tips for us he would start it with "Attention."

"Attention, look forward not at your skis."

"Attention, don't put your poles in the ground."

It was doing the parallel walking (about 4m) up this slight incline that the first girl dropped out. She could not do it. She did not want to. She left. But after a few of these slight 4m ski goes we went up the mountain a bit. Not on a chairlift mind you, but on the Magic Carpet. This is a travelator stuck in the mountain. You see this diagonal line of little people in the picture below? They are on the first leg of the Magic Carpet.


Once we got up to the top a guy in the group that had also been having some trouble got off the travelator, skied all the way down and was never seen again.

The rest of us followed Federico. It is fair to say at this point I was the least competent and least confident. But Federico seemed sure we could all ski down the mountain. I quickly proved him wrong with my complete inability to spread my snow plough wide enough. (Ewww, what?!) Ah, but Federico, he just held my hands and skied down backwards in front of me. Guiding me. "Attention, don't, how you say in English 'AH AH'?"

"Panic?"

"Yes, don't panic. Just relax. You are very, how you say in English?"

"Tense?"

"Yes tense. Just relax."

Federico was right. I just had to relax and after that I really did get better. When he taught us how to turn I was no longer the worst in the group. I felt super.

When LB came to meet me afterwards we went up the Magic Carpet together and it was fine. Fun. Here I am carving shit up.




Then he convinced me to go up further in a chair lift. "Sure!" I said with my new found confidence. But it turns out going on a chair lift with skis on for the first time is scary. Going down a steeper incline than from the travelator is also scary. I kept having to think of Federico, "Just relax. Don't be so tense."

Thanks Federico, what a great ski and life lesson! PARFECT!

*Please ensure you read all Federico's words with an Italian accent.