Referendum day is here at last (PM)

A few nights ago I heard a Scotsman  on the radio spruiking the "no" campaign. He was making the usual arguments, like it may result in economic problems and that the "yes" campaigners were talking up all the problems associated with GB, blowing them out of proportion, that a yes vote wasn't the change Scotland needed, it wasn't thought out, it wouldn't resolve the problems. First I kind of thought, "well these seem like reasonable arguments" but by the end of it I pretty much thought he sounded like a desperate conservative douche just as I'd expected. But then I thought maybe I thought that because I expected to think that. You know, my political leanings didn't allow me to really be open to the no campaign. Yada, yada, yada I don't know what would be better for Scotland but I know I'd have voted yes, no mibbes about it. 

It's official now though, the Scots have decided naw, they shouldn't have an independent country. It seems weird to me that a person could vote against such a thing, but like I said what do I know? I just hope they're still delighted to be united. 

Scotch Highlights (PM)

Bette Middler's name in Beaches is Wang? I thought it was CC. Oh well, it's like Wang sings early on in Beaches  when she's played by Mayim Bialik, "you gotta laugh a little, cry a little and do some other things a little..." So it sounds like you're doing just what you're supposed to. Wang would be proud.

PS. Edinburgh sounds really nice. 

Scotch Highlights (AM)

It's true what people say: Edinburgh is really beautiful. The kind of place you don't need to be in long before it charms you. Winding streets. Beautiful old buildings. Bridges and staircases and Scottish accents galore. It's a real peach. 

I arrived last Sunday, and started at the office the following day, so hadn't seen much apart from the old town. I spent the weekend exploring. 

Saturday, I walked up Arthur's Seat, which pokes it's head over Edinburgh and sits right on the edge of the city. 

It was a beautiful day and every man and his dog had the same idea. Still, it was very lovely.

Here's me and heather 

On a side note, someone used the phrase "I don't think this idea is going to set the heather ablaze" in a meeting last week, and I guffawed. Quietly, though.

I went to a farmers market yesterday too and bought all sorts of goodies like smoked haddock and venison burgers and Scottish cheese. After the walk I felt quite justified eating most of that stuff, so you won't get any pictures of that I'm afraid. 

Nor will you get any pictures of my Sunday morning, which I spent at H&M returning a hat I bought during an ill advised stop off on the walk home after Friday night drinks. You don't need to see that. 

But you might like to see this! 

A jumper I want so bad it hurts but probably won't get because it's Kenzo and therefore very expensive. 

 Dare to dream.

Sunday afternoon I spent walking to Leith, which is by Edinburgh's waterfront and somewhere people said was nice to walk to. They were right, it was nice to walk to, but not because Leith is particularly nice. Because you pass places like this on the way. 

Feelin' dubious.

Ha!

Snigger. 

The day ended on a sad note when I passed this place, named after Bette Midler's character in Beaches (obviously) and felt a little lonely. Just because of how much Pickle loves Beaches and Bette Midler and I miss Pickle and everyone else. Not because it's a film about friendship. No way. 

But I'll be home in a month, so what am I talking about anyway! 

Didn't take long to find out.... (PM)

Oh, brother. And people are worried about the state of education in this country.

It just so happens that last night I watched a program in which Ewan McGregor went into remote areas of the Congo on a child-vaccinating mission. Perhaps he could turn his attention homeward and help vaccinate his people against stupidity. 

Didn't take long to find out.... (AM)

Just like the Guardian's film editors, I think the fewer words spoken about this, the better. But be sure to watch it with the sound on.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2013/mar/04/walrus-spotted-north-scotland-video

A few phone calls, a bit of research...and the fact that it looks exactly like a mother flipping walrus, but never mind that.

Shorties (PM)

Who doesn't love a shortie?! And those shorties you made, mate, look so effing good. I want one. Those little bastards sound delicious. That icing... get the hell outta here! And icing is not a thing that ever gets me excited. Also now I understand why you may or may not have been a little absent during the Oscars. Who wouldn't be paying more attention to a delicious biscuit than that ridiculous excuse for entertainment.

Funnily enough I also made a shortbread-like biscuit recently. In that it was a biscuit that is super buttery, quite crumbly and very effing delicious. You see last Saturday was Purim, a lesser-known/celebrated Jewish holiday. And by coincidence my family were getting together for lunch. Apparently one is supposed to eat a biscuit called a hamataschen. So I made some. Also mum bought some from the local Jewish bakery. Here are mine and the professional ones side by side.

Mine are the messy ones in front. Obviously.

I used this recipe from Smitten Kitchen and I am not kidding when I say that they were fan-fricking-tastic. There was some debate over the lunch table as to whether mine or the pro biscuits were better. Everyone thought my actual biscuit was better but there was division over who had a better poppy seed filling. The commercial one was more full poppy seed flavour. Like, traditional flavour. Mine on the other hand was a bit more... not traditional. The poppy seed is ground

then dressed up with with Grand Marnier, orange zest, lemon juice. These are probably largely unnecessary.

The bought biscuit was more dense and mine was more buttery, lighter, lemony. And on the whole I think it was a generally superior biscuit. Like, if you just want to eat the sweet poppy seed goo, sure, buy a commercial biscuit, but if you want to eat a delicious effing biscuit, eat the Smitten kitchen one.

On a sidenote, thanks Scotland for sending great things like shortbread on Ewan our way.

Shorties (AM)

Scotland has given Miss Soft Crab two of our favourite things: Ewan McGregor and shortbread.

It's also given me black pudding which I love very much but there is no way I'm getting the J-Crab on board with that. So let's stick to Ewan and shorties. Or to be more precise, let's stick to shorties, because Wednesday is Miss Soft Crab's new food day and I think we've said all we need to say about Ewan.

 

So, shortbread.

I love shortbread.

I love how solid and sturdy it is, and how it crumbles so satisfyingly at first bite. I love how it tastes like butter. I love how it is plain and simple in its deliciousness, how without pretension it is. I love how it goes with a cup of tea.

 

Sometimes I think I'll make shortbread to have around the house for when people drop by for a cup of tea, and up until the moment that I burn my tongue on that first piping hot bite of shortie I actually think people are going to drop by for a cup of tea.

Here are some pistachio shortbread I made at Christmas

 

The other night I made some in order to win the hearts and minds of the team of people I am 'directing' while I temporarily assume the position of Director while my real boss is in Scotland, the home of shortbread and Ewan McGregor.

 

Instead of the traditional shortie, I made this, which is more of a shortbread-like slice. Some might call it a bastardisation of true shortbread because it doesn't include ground rice, used in a proper shortie, the thing that gives it that lovely crumbly texture. And it's covered in icing made from golden syrup and butter and ginger. So sure, those that call it a bastardisation are some accurate bastards. But what a delicious bastardisation it is. The butteryness, the crumble, the gooeyness of the icing against that sturdy biscuit base.  Go ahead and bastardise away.

 

I do, however, think it could use more ginger. Especially in the icing. By following the recipe I got a hint of ginger, but was left wanting more, perhaps enough so there is a lingering sensation of heat. If one is going to bastardise, one should bastardise boldly, should one not?

 

Regardless, because I may or may not have been making it while e-chatting with J during the oscars ceremony, I have no photos of the process.

But this is what it looks like when I eat the leftovers at my desk with a coffee.

Mmmm

Gifts from the Internet (PM) (or WTF? Wednesday)

Well I have to say I am floored by this morning's post. Firstly, WTF? We don't have to blog about food on our designated food day?

Secondly, WTF is with the jumpers on ponies? I mean putting a cardigan on a pony is one thing but the bit where they sew the jumper on! Those bitches are serious about dressing them ponies!

Thirdly, I really want to go to Scotland now. 

Gifts from the internet (AM)

Today I am meant to be talking about food, because Wednesday is going to be the day Miss Soft Crab talks about food from now on. But instead I am just going to show you this because I must, I really must.

I'm so sure that the people behind this clip of shetland ponies wearing fair isle jumpers are a couple of dames just like J and I, who thought it would be funny to put on their blog.
I'm so glad they did!