Thinking 'bout summer (AM)

I'm hanging for summer so hard that when I saw this picture of a humpback whale in a book about whale watching it made me think of summer fashions. I know it's fucked up. But the white! The stripes! The blubber. That's totally how I see myself this summer. Ha! That bit about the blubber was a joke but the rest is for reals. I guess the sea and sun help too. 

I think I need a practical project. All this full time mothering is not enough to distract me from thinking about clothes all the time. And I'm thinking a lot about what I'll be wearing when the weather gets warmer. Mostly I imagine myself looking like Jennifer Conelly in this Vogue photo shoot from a few years ago. 

In the spread she's in lots of white and navy and hanging out on a yacht. Truth be told, ever since that issue of Vogue came out I imagined myself like this for the summer but weirdly it's never quite come to fruition. Maybe I need a yacht. 

But all this fanaticising about summer barely makes sense. I'm not even that sick of winter. This winter has been so mild and while there have been some cold-ass days and some rainy motherucking days there's also been some sunshine and I've barely used the umbrella I bought a month or 2 ago. Which makes me kind of sad because it's gold. But I think it's the winter sunshine that makes me miss summer more. Or at least the clothes. Because you still gotta rug up and I think that's what the problem is for me. Usually I've got a baby strapped to me. At some point during the day I have to manoeuvre a breast out from my layers with some measure of discretion and frankly the idea of less bulk in my clothes is calling to me like the sweet song of the whales and their great summer fashions. 

But hey! K is in summer right now! Is it as good as I imagine, Mate?

Why I buy fashion magazines (AM)

 Oh, I mean why do I buy fashion magazines?

I don't do it often, and I do think I can see a pattern. Every few months I buy one. Either Vogue or Harper's Bazaar. Not that it's a rule, just looking at my magazines I see that is what I buy. I guess because they are big and glossy and full of fashion and not as trashy as the other shit out there. I think I buy them when a) a change in season makes me want to buy new clothes and rather than do that I buy a magazine for some inspiration or so that I can pretend I bought stuff without having to actually buy anything; or b) I want to do something with my hair and need inspiration. (This is in fact a constant state.)

HA. Great reasons, J. Yeah Vogue is going to give you some excellent hair inspiration. A bunch of models who have had their hair done for hours.  It's the Georg Jensen girls that always appeal to me.

First:

Now:

Sure, a couple of models with a bunch of product and people putting in time and energy and effort into their hair. I can't help feel that I'm never gonna look like that. And that no hair cut is going to look like that on me. Although, according to Carre Otis in the current issue of vogue, although her hair looked "shiny and full" as a young anorexic fucked up model her hair "was very dry and brittle from being teased and blown out...since I wasn't eating enough I'd lose lots of my hair in the brush and in the shower." Hey! Maybe there is hope for me after all!

But it's not just useless hair inspiration you can find in Vogue, of course there are fashion tips too, like this page giving great tips on how to get more leopard print in your life. 

Or this great coat. Only cost six grand. 

So why, why oh why do I buy them? What I tell you is not a surprise to me or you. The fact magazines are full of unattainable hair and faces and bodies and clothes is not new. I know before I hand over my eight bucks that I'm just buying a bunch of BS, and yet I still buy them and enjoy them. What the eff does Condé Nast know about my brain that I don't. Eeeeeeeew Condé Nast, get out of my brain. 

Thermomix - Is it all that and a bag of chips? (PM)

All I know is that I want a bag of chips!

Thermomix is definitely awesome and would last longer than chips, but at two large, it definitely needs to be able to make chips to make me reach for my wallet.

Wayward Wednesday - A Miss Soft Crab once off (PM)

Whoa! Wayward Wednesday! I was not expecting that! 

I was totally expecting K to write about Thermomix. I certainly was not expecting that post to end with a picture of Ewan! And I was definitely not expecting Baby to see that picture of Ewan and say 'Daddy?'  I told him it wasn't but he was pretty adamant. 'That's Ewan McGregor,' I told him to which he replied 'I think it's Daddy.' And geez you can only argue with a 2-year-old so long before you have to let him win.

What I have learnt from Wayward Wednesday is that:

• Holy Muthereffing moly I have never wanted to be a millionaire as much as I do right now!
• I want to eat the heck out of one of those 'shortbreads'
• Baby has a new daddy  (Sorry, LB)

Eff you, sale season, eff you (PM)

Look, Russeth is right about the flood coming when you open the floodgates, but I think you should just buy that pink shirt dress because:
- it's really cute
- it's relatively affordable
- you can't take it with you when you go
- dusty pink is like my favourite colour
- if you came in to the city to buy it I could meet you on my lunchbreak and see whether that dress I tried on around the time of the Blizzie wedding but couldn't afford (and is from the same shop as that dusty pink dress) is on sale!

This is me right now

Eff you, sale season, eff you (AM)

You know how at the start of a season, if you are a shopper, like I am, you may see some things you like and you may buy a thing or two and you may covet a thing or two and maybe some you think you will revisit come sale season? Well it’s sale season guys and I am drowning!

In fact I don't think I have even bought anything in the sales. But I’ve been thinking about it so much I can’t even remember anymore, guys! I’m losing it, guys! I'm losing it. Because it has become a mad jumble of stuff and desire. 

Yeah, we bought a new doona (that baby is so warm I wish I was under it right now). And some new linen too. Because our old doona cover actually disintegrated, but those don't count. They were pretty much necessities and if you need those things, of course you buy them during the sales. No they don't count at all.  I'm talking about clothes, shoes and accessories, people. The things that came out this season and if you don't snap them up this season they could well be gone forever.

 

I told Russeth about this very cute shirt dress I wanted and he (he, who is a total stuff-lover and stuff-buyer) told me that I should resist, because much like sweet treats, when you open the flood gates, well then the flood comes.

But even though I haven’t opened the flood gates, I’m still drowning! I’m still thinking about that shirt dress. I’m thinking about a two-tone Alpha60 jumper I don’t think they have in my size any more. I’m thinking about a Gorman jumper that is now half price and I want real bad. But I am held back by some invisible internal, mental flood gate. I can’t buy anything and yet I can't stop thinking about stuff.

Just get away from me stuff. Leave me alone. And while you are at it why don't you jack your prices up like the petrol stations so I don't have to think how attainable you are.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to think of something to do today that isn't near shops. Again.

So, do you like stuff? (PM)

OHMYGODILOVESTUFFSOMUCH!

But happily for me I have been house sitting other people's houses for the last month and a half and as a result I don't covet stuff for myself as much because I am not at home thinking about how I can make my space nicer. Also, I just wish I could find regular stuff in these houses. The other day I had to roll out pizza with a large jar. Do you know how hard it is to find a jar appropriate for rolling? Where is the effing rolling pin?

Usually, though, I am just coveting the shit out of homewares.

You know another thing that is distracting me from my usual homewares coveting is that I have an idea for rearranging my place when we get back home which is even better than buying new stuff! Free AND it makes you feel like you are in a new space.

But of course there are always things I kind of want.

Beautiful bedding.




Ralph Lauren, you sure know how to work navy.



Enamel cookware.

Want that

A large pot big enough for chutneys.

Thanks, Mate, now I'm just thinking about all the stuff I want.

Gumbo! (PM)

I know that this morning was meant to be all about gumbo, but I want that po'boy so bad. I want it in and around my mouth. PO'BOY!!!