Monday, October 10, 2016

I really hope this works (PM)

Sure as heck sounds like I'm not the only one that needs a little break. Let's hope that Apple and Google can sort something out in the next few weeks. Or alternatively that K can. 

See you in a few weeks!

I really hope this works (AM)

So some of you might be wondering why J was the only crab to post anything last week. J, who on Monday last week, gave birth. Then on Wednesday last week had just made it home from hospital with a two day old baby. First, let me say I'm very sorry. And let me tell you the reason, which is actually two reasons. The first reason is that the new IOS does not seem to like the blogger site and whenever you try to write a blog post the whole thing crashes, which is very annoying when you're 99% of the way through a blog post, and iphone is an essential piece of equipment for your blogging life. Seriously Apple, seriously Google, I expect the two of you to get together and sort out your differences. The other part is that as I've regularly told you all, J is the sensible one in this outfit. If you've ever wondered whether there is one crab to rule them all then the answer is yes, those giant crabs that live on the ocean floor and you see on David Attenborough documentaries, but after that it's J. And don't you think she deserves a break to get to know her new baby who is off the charts cute? Yes, I think so too. So, Miss Soft Crab is going to have a new-life hiatus for a few weeks. We'll be back in November, the day before the public holiday for that big horse race. See you then, crab fans!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Thursday's post (AM)

On Monday I had my baby and who forgot to do their blog post!? Not me, K! To be fair she did hit send on my post so I guess I can't say she did nothing to fulfill her MSC obligations but sheesh. My baby is a little girl and I love her. Having a baby is truly a best thing and going through labour is truly a worst thing. All I kept thinking was how the fuck do we get through this. I mean sure we all do it differently with varying degrees of intervention and tolerance and I'd chose labour over Caesar. But what a fucking a-hole it is. Having a tiny baby in he house is totally adorable though, if challenging and accompanied by an onslaught of hormones and attendant mood swings. So excuse me while I go burst into tears or stare at my baby adoringly or sit under a shower for a perverse amount of time.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Dog Days (AM)

Did you watch the grand final on Saturday!? What a match! I don't know about you guys but I really expected Sydney to dominate early and convincingly beat the Bulldogs. Don't get me wrong, I was going for the Dogs and I have paid very little attention to the footy this season so I really was basing my assumptions on pretty much nothing except for a history of watching a bunch of boring grand finals in the past. But it was great! Neck and neck for almost the whole game, anyone's match the whole way through. It was really great. And I had pretty much the perfect GF day. Watched it at home with just the fam and then went into the street to socialise with friends and neighbours. Thereby getting to enjoy the footy and socialising without the pressure of actually doing a thing. Geez, if only all GF days could be like that. I feel just like Hemsworth did when the Doggies won the preliminary final!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

High holy days (PM)

Congratulations on your support of the women's league mate! Even if you are only foundation member #86 and not 8 or 6.

Imagine a time when a women's sport generates enough excitement to demand a public holiday. If horses and men can do it, surely women can. (You know one day long after Eddie Maguire and anyone associated with The Footy Show and commentators that call women 'girls' die.)


High holy days (AM)

Look what came in the mail for me today. 
I'm very proud. But also disappointed that I wasn't in the top ten. Need to work harder in the preseason I guess. 
Happy grand final week everyone! Go dogs! 

Monday, September 26, 2016

Empire 2.0 (PM)

Fuck yeah, Queenie. You totally ruling the empire. That monochrome effect is in full flight.

If I were Kate Middleton I would feel so conflicted. Fashiowise I'd think I was basically given the perfect opportunity to dress monochrome for life! But then I'd also feel like I need to not start dressing like QEII while I was still a young woman and make my own style. And so I'd probably just dress in the fucked up jumble I do now. But maybe better, certainly more expensively. So word up K-Mids. Word up QEII!

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Empire 2.0 (AM)

The British empire ain't what it used to be. OR SO WE THOUGHT. 
I'm pretty sure that anyone who's seen any media coverage of the Prince William/Kate Middleton/baby George/baby Charlotte visit to Canada this weekend could not have failed to notice two things: Kate Middleton and Sophie Gregoire Trudeau (the woman who is married to Justin Trudeau) wearing monochrome. 

I bet QEII looked at that and thought FUCK YES I still rule Brittania and I rule it one goddamned colour at a time. 

Friday, September 23, 2016

Questions of the week (PM)

People sure do seem crazy when their opinions are reported in the news. Neither love nor money could make me give up my sense of smell. Or the other ones, for that matter. I'm equally attached to all of them. It was my sense of smell that told me I had to get off the tram and find a toilet pronto when I had that bout of gastro coming on a few weeks ago. Someone was eating hot chips in the tram and I found it repulsive. I didn't need a Samsung Galaxy tablet to tell me that's not normal. 
As for Brangelina, I guess it's sad for them. But I'm curious to see who Brad dates next. My dream is that Winona Ryder's wave of Stranger Things success includes a little Brad Pitt phase. 
Wouldn't that be great? 

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Questions of the week (AM)

This week I've been asking myself some deeply scientific questions. 

You know how sometimes species evolve really quickly, like over only a few generations? Do you think the human nesting urge could have evolved to include an urge to go to Ikea? I'm pretty sure that after maternity hospitals Ikea has the highest concentration of pregnant women in Melbourne and suspect that is probably true if Ikeas around the world. Scientists, can evolution work this quickly?

Are people really as fucked as polls would have us believe. Yesterday ABC radio was reporting that 49% of people surveyed said they believed Muslim immigration to Australia should be stopped. Wtf is wrong with people?! But on a similar note Catalyst said the other night that more people would prefer to leave their sense of smell than access to technology. Then they showed a few vox pops to support this. I don't know about the science of either of these surveys so I'm dubious. But having had barely any sense of smell this week can I resoundingly say what I would have said regardless: without smell you are so disconnected fir your surroundings and experiences.  Smell is a mammalian (and other creature) sense. Evolutionarily developed. For a reason. To give up an inherent sense for technology?!?! Wtf is wrong with people??!?

Apparently Brangelina have actually broken up. Can you believe it!?*

*actually I'm not that surprised and I don't care at all but I thought while we're asking questions we may as well go here. 

Monday, September 19, 2016

Losing the battle (PM)

I'm losing the battle too. Work has gotten really busy all of a sudden! And I dont know what I'm going to have for dinner! 
Let's hope we can all pull it together for Thursday. 

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Losing the battle (AM)

I'm sorry guys but I'm just being honest when I say you may as well avoid MSC's AM posts this week. Not only am I riddled with cramps and the attendant terror that any time I could be in labour I've also got some terrible sinus pain that makes my face ache so much it even hurts to smile. And I'm so tired that I need a post lunch nap every day just so I can function even remotely like a human.

On top of that it's so cold. I mean sure Saturday was beautiful but my memory is short and life right now feels like hell.

I should revisit last week's Thursday post and celebrate the good things. OR turn this Monday into a Terrific Tuesday or something. But I can't.

Look, I'll try and improve things by Thursday. The weather does not look like it will cooperate. But if my sinuses improve I feel optimistic. But I guess we'll see how it goes.

And let's remember Saturday really was nice. Except for my stupid sinuses.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Good times (PM)

Sometimes it really does feel like the universe is putting it all together for you. I remember thinking about my car, which is my dream car, and how owning it really made me feel super lucky. So it's no surprise K is feeling so great right now.

I'd like to feel like everything is coming up J too but after being woken up before 6am and having to deal with two super grumpy children ever since, it's hard. I even made pancakes for breakfast, partly because there was no milk in the house and I do this delicious thing when that happens and we have limited breakfast choices where I add yoghurt and orange juice to the pancake batter and they are delicious. Anyway I thought pancakes may make the complaining go away but instead Baby just whinged that he only wanted one pancake instead of the two I put on his plate.

But sheesh, things could be a lot worse. So I guess it may be good to just try and appreciate that really my life is full of good times despite the niggling shit. Like in a few weeks I'll be wearing jeans again. Hopefully. I'm pretty sure I have one pair I'll be able to fit in to and that will be the sweetest.

Baby is sick home from school today which means I don't have to wake up Newbie and rush out the house at 3:15 for the pickup.

I still haven't watched Stranger Things but plan too so that is exciting.

Things are great!

Good times (AM)

On my commute to work I pass some graffiti that says "why does the universe always conspire to make my dreams come true?". Now I don't go in for that hippy nonsense but it does make me think a little bit about the good stuff that happens all the time. 

For example...

We have a new car and I love it so much. It's my dream car, basically. Everything in it works and you don't elbow your passenger when you're trying to put your belt on which seems innocuous but is actually very annoying. 

KB is really getting into the narrative of Hairy Maclairy. He gets very excited as the Scarface Claw bit approaches and then gets a little scared when he actually sees Scarface Claw. It's very cute.

I just watched all of Stranger Things and of course I loved it. But the best thing about it is Winona Ryder is back and she's fantastic. I love her so much. 

Good times you guys.