Friday, March 24, 2017
On Wednesday I was so tired. I nearly fell asleep on the couch while Newbie watched iView on my phone. Then later I nearly fell asleep again when Newbie and Baby did something. I don't even know what. I was practically asleep after all. So that night I went to bed at 9:30.
Newbie, who was still awake, came into my bed so I didn't look at Instagram or listen to a podcast I just rolled over so we could both go to sleep. Baby came in a little later but I was already half asleep so just pretended I didn't notice and when LB came in later still and saw the tableau he briefly woke me with his exclamation "Are you kidding?!" Then he went to bed in the kids room and I was back asleep within seconds. And I stayed that way until Little Bean woke me at 4. And, just to round out the boring details of my sleep, I'll tell you that I went back to sleep then until 7 and yesterday I felt like a million bucks. What a difference a sleep makes. And when I say I felt like a million bucks I guess I probably felt like a normal person. Like a person without a baby and two other small children. Just a person with a moderate amount of demands on their time or with more sleep under their sleeve. I cleaned the fridge, I did a giant supermarket shop, I made a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, I booked Baby's birthday party which isn't happening until June. JUNE! I've never done anything this far in advance. Imagine how productive I could be if I went to bed at 9:30 everyday. Oh, how I wanted to do the same again last night. But Broad City was on at 10 and I stayed up to watch it. But then I went straight to bed so I have reasonable high hopes for today.
I love sleep and I'm really going to make an effort to get more of it because I think it may just make everything better.
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Even though we noted, with surprise, that yesterday was Wednesday, I still feel a little wtf? about the fact that it's Thursday.
I spent the day in Brighton, and also feel extremely WTF? about those bathing boxes.
There were heaps of tourists taking photos of them. But they're not really a thing, are they?
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Boy is it a muggy one today. I just walked KB to childcare and because I am inexperienced at childcare drop off (that's Appleheart's gig) I forgot about half the stuff you are meant to take. So that means walking back. Or maybe driving. Because it's such a muggy one.
Anyway, I spotted this sign outside one of Preston's many nondescript junk shops that never seem to be open. This is the most open it's ever been, and just to tell us that it's closing. Sad. The tools certainly appear cheap, but I didn't ask for the price.
Monday, March 20, 2017
For the last few weeks the GOOP Instagram has been saying things like "Feeling effing exhausted? Sign up to be the first to hear about GOOP Wellness!" And of course yes! Whenever I see that I am feeling effing exhausted and because I don't want to be so tired I kept almost signing up until I remembered: a) whatever GOOP Wellness would be I couldn't afford it; b) it would be a crock of shit; and c) I'd find out about it on Instagram probably mere moments after those who'd signed up at their urging. Sure enough last Thursday, Instagram revealed that for a mere $90 for a month's worth of tablets I could feel thin OR less anxious OR less tired OR less stressed. But not all of those things unless I want to pay $360 a month because all those feelings come in different doctor-designed tablets. It may be worth I though because you'd possibly look like this:
Or at least feel that smug. But despite thinking it's all a crock I also want to buy these supplements because I do want to be less tired, more thin, manage everything, feel better. On reflection though I think that rather than having Gwyneth's supplements I'd be better off with her bank balance because I'm pretty sure that having a nanny and a personal assistant and therefore the time to do Tracy Anderson Method five times a week I would probably feel thinner and less tired and manage everything better (via my personal assistant). Not that you need riches to achieve these things but if we're looking for quick fixes it seems like a good one. And nobody ever got rich by buying $90 supplements. So go screw Goop Wellness.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
K was right yesterday. History is amazing. All those many, many thousands of years people have been getting by. They didn't have Netflix or showers but it was ok because they didn't even know about Netflix or showers. But some things would have sucked. Like the possibility you could get chucked in a peat bog. To think about human history is pretty amazing. But history goes back further than that. How about dinosaurs. When I stop to think about the fact that they actually existed and aren't just a creation to fill sci-fi movies and cover children's pyjamas my tiny mind is always blown. And what about before that?! First there were just tiny organisms and they evolved into all the things that have ever been on the earth. What!?!?
I don't just get this feeling of awe and delight when I think about the entire history of the world though. I also have it when I see a giraffe and then think about them in the wild. What a crazy creature.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
I've been listening to this really great podcast. A History of the World in 100 objects. Each episode is about an object from the British Museum, starting with very early human tools found in Africa. The episodes talk about the objects, the place and time they came from and what they tell us about the past. The best ones also talk about the circumstances in which the object was found. Like, a bunch of welsh miners were just doing a spot of mining when boom, they uncovered a Bronze Age grave which has taught us heaps about the social and economic lives of people from thousands of years ago.
It reminds me of being at school and learning about the Grauballe Man. You know, this guy:
He is an Iron Age era fellow who was preserved for thousands of years in a peat bog in Denmark.
My kid mind was totally blown by the Grauballe Man. I mean, he was a dead body from the deep distant past, a time when people were killed and chucked in peat bogs as a human sacrifice. These things had never occurred to me. I thought history consisted of those Old Testament guys, a bit of time, then Jesus, a bit more time, then Captain Cook and Soverign Hill and then colour television. The notion that there were just regular folks living their regular lives in their old timesy societies well before Jesus? I loved it. I still love it.
One of my favourite episodes of the podcast is the one where they talk about something called the flood tablet. It's a tablet from Mesopotamia that contains an account of a great flood, where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. It's a great episode and contains some unexpected nudity. And all the things that are great about history.
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Hey! How was everyone's weekend? Mine was pretty nice, we went down the beach for a couple of nights and it was super nice. Pickle and Minderbinder were there with Babybinder. I made eggplant subs for dinner on Saturday night and on Sunday we went and met Miguel and Legsley in Lorne for some trampolining and beer and chips so I guess it was pretty great.
But because yesterday was a public holiday Newbie didn't have childcare so I basically lost a day of work. Or maybe that was because we went away for the weekend. Whatever. It's just semantics. So now I have to find a day to do all that work I missed. Plus I've taken on some more work because I'm broke as a mutha$*#%er so although my financial struggles may lighten my time struggles will increase. On top of that I've invited people over for a BBQ on Sunday for Newbie's birthday and I got home from the beach yesterday to discover the house was still the frightful mess I left it in and now I have to clean it and the backyard before Sunday. LB loves cleaning the backyard to a really extreme level so he started yesterday by cutting down a tree which is now taking up half the backyard. So you can bet that I need one hell of a Terrific Tuesday to even contemplate getting through the week with any kind of success.
Natch this Tuesday is going to begin with one hell of a coffee. Lately, due to aforementioned brokeness I've been trying to drink the bulk of my coffees at home rather than paying them dollar dollar bills for it BUT today I'm buying my coffee god damn it!
I'm going to dress well. It's going to be hot today but I'm going to wear a cute outfit and lipstick even though I'm basically going to be home all day, but why not be cute and at home!?
I'm going to get through my to do list. Yeah I am! It's moderate and my week will still have a shitload of to-dos but you gotta start somewhere.
Monday, March 13, 2017
Friday, March 10, 2017
1. Contrary to K's high-tech image yesterday I think summer is at its finest when it gives us warm days and overnight minimums in the teens.
2. Would you talk to someone you vaguely knew at high school when you saw them 20 years later and your acquaintance was so meagre you couldn't even remember their name? 'Cause I wouldn't.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
The other day I saw a delicious looking mushroom toast on Raph Rashid’s Instagram account and let me tell you I wanted to go to there. I could probably find a recipe for it but I can't make it because no one else in my house would appreciate it. I feel the same way about these eggplant sub toasts.
A while ago on a unseasonably cool December saturday I had the great idea of making buying some pre made meatballs from the pasta shop near our house and making a sauce and making subs, eggplant for me, to eat in front of the kids movie. Doesn't that sound awesome. Turns out that the pasta place only does meatballs on Wednesdays. I thought Meatsmith may provide them. But no. But the point is really why can't we all just enjoy an eggplant sub?! When it was just Erry and me I could make what I wanted because even if he thought he'd prefer meat he'd usually enjoy what I made and if he didn't there was always tomorrow. But now with the possibility of three miserable faces looking at me over their plates I won't even be able to enjoy the meal and so the struggle continues.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
The other day, I told you all about a little gift I received through the genetic lottery. Last night I discovered that the genetic lottery has done it again.
Check out KB's footprint on that same bath mat:
Not so much as a hint of an arch. You know what that means? Flat feet! You know what that means? He'll never be conscripted into the army to fight the Vietnam war! Woot woot!
Monday, March 6, 2017
I know the word epiphany has divine connotations but of course when we have one it's just things in our brains clicking. I had one the other night watching Graham Norton. Ryan Gosling was on and before he'd started talking I realised something that I hadn't even known had been bothering me. When he talks his mouth doesn't move enough. Especially his top lip. Before I saw him open his mouth it's like the thought came to me, "Here we go, Mister Still Lips." And then he started talking and my thought was confirmed. The epiphany was actually weird and I guess Gosling's mouth situation is one reason I can't commit to the idea of him being a 100% hunk. Definitely hot but not Hunk of the Month material.
But I digress. The experience was also pretty upsetting. Like, why am I having epiphanies about the reasons for a dude's attractiveness, or otherwise, and not about something useful like what I should be doing professionally with my life that would be both satisfying and lucrative? Or what app I could invent that would help the world and make me rich. Or how can I manage my frustration and irritability in the face of some of my children's actions when those actions are generally due to their completely age-appropriate immaturity. Seriously brain, you absolutely are not doing it right.
I'd like to point out here that despite the implications of this blog, I actually think about my professional future and parenting and app inventions a lot more than I think about Ryan Gosling. So you'd think my brain would know what it should be revealing to me. And if there is some kind of divine intervention with epiphanies then the spiritual world is definitely not doing it right. Unless it's trying to tell me I should invent some hunk-assment app, which I guess is probably all I'm qualified for and really now that you think about it is probably exactly how Miss Soft Crab should diversify. BOOM! I misjudged this epiphany thing all together. Where's the App Store's number? We pitch tomorrow!