Monday, June 26, 2017

Bruce who?



Here's an interesting fact: when I started typing 'Bruce' into my phone internet browser it first offered up 'Bruce Springsteen' (fair enough) then 'Bruce (electorate of New Zealand' which surprised me because I was looking for Bruce Willis and the fact that Safari thought I was more interested in an electorate of NZ than Bruce Willis really made me feel my age. I guess people don't really care about Bruce Willis anymore. In fact I don't either and I was only googling him because Instagram suggested some woman called Emma Hemingway Willis who had all these photos of Bruce in her feed and I initially thought she must be some lesser known daughter from some unknown wife he had before Demi until I realised that she wasn't his daughter at all. She was his wife. His daughter aged wife. Then I decided to read Bruce's Wikipedia page until I realised I knew everything I needed to know about Bruce Willis, including how old I am for bothering. Ugh.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Transit days are the worst

When you're travelling, transit days are the worst. The days you're going from one place to the next with all your bags.
Today we traveled from Lake Biwa to Tokyo, via two normal trains and one Shinkansen. 

My day started like this.

 

At 6am, gazing across the tatami at the sight of KB's pudgy little arm cuddling his Cookie Monster toy (not pictured). 

The hours between then and now have involved a lot of tears, a lot of confusion and a lot of inadvertent pissing people off with our huge load of stuff and our general cluelessness. It's also really hot. At one point I stopped by a bubbler in a park to have a sip of water but instead got a powerful jet of water squirted straight into my eyeball. It would have looked totally hilarious but I couldn't appreciate it because it hurt so much .
But now we are at our beautiful airbnb in ebisu with this shit hot view across the city.

 

I've got a belly full of delicious ramen and as soon as KB is in bed I'm going to sit on that balcony and have a convenience store beer. 
I may have lost the Cookie Monster toy at some point on the journey but heck, we made it. 

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Enjoy relaxing



Although it sounds like K is holidaying in Japan's answer to King Street it has one advantage over King Street. The availability of beer from convenience stores. Oh and an onsen in the hotel. Though onsen in summer does not seem that appealing to me but what do I know? I'll tell you what I know, you can get beer from convenience stores. And the best kind of beer snacks. Even the midges can't ruin that, surely. 

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Enjoy relaxing

Just outside Kyoto is Japan's largest freshwater lake, Lake Biwa. We read about it, and about the many onsen it is home to, and decided we would venture up for a few days. The internet made it seem like a weekend playground for people from Kyoto but as we all know, you can't believe everything you read on the internet.
I get the impression that it is to Kyoto what Frankston is to Melbourne. Sure, there's a beach there and it's a stones throw from Melbourne  but that does not mean it's an appealing place. Not at all. We arrived on a dreary grey day and it's rained non stop since we got here. That's not helping. But the multitude of tittie bars and general seediness can not be blamed on the weather. 
The hotel staff seem a little sheepish and kind of apologetic, like they know it's a bit shit here. As I took the key and headed for the lift one of them called after me and said "enjoy relaxing", a little desperately.

Then this was waiting for us on our doorstep, when we got to the room.
 

I haven't let it deter me.  There's a spa bath on our balcony and an outdoor onsen in the hotel which is the main reason I'm here. The Midges can go fudge themselves! 

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

It's all easy guys

Today L-Bomb cane over for lunch and I made Gwyneth Paltrow's Easy Tomato soup. It is easy and it's very yummy in that simple tomato soup way. It was a real win for me because I had no time and little food in the house. And if I learnt anything on Instagram this morning it's that Gwynny just loves a simple recipe. Check out this smoothie recipe from this morning. 



Standard GP. 

Yep sounds about right. 

 Ok.



Is that a kind of yoga?



Cyclops?


Ummmmmm... 

He said what now?
Wtf?

Et voila!

See, simple!

Monday, June 19, 2017

FC in Kyoto

I guess lots of  people come to Kyoto for the shrines, the beautiful breeze that comes from the mountains, across the river and takes the edge off the heat of the city. Or they come for the food. We have had a shit hot time with all those things, but the indoor play centre and this slide that looks like a cock are my favourite things about Kyoto. 

 

 

Friday, June 16, 2017

Ya crew run run

Hi guys. I hate to be a flake but today I'm just feeling a little wack. I tried to wear an outfit I felt really happy with - failed. Thought I'd be paid so I could afford my haircut without using my credit card - haven't been. Just saw a good job worth applying for - applications closed on Wednesday.

The only way to redeem this is with Biggie.



Thursday, June 15, 2017

Feast paradise

Hating our hair is what MSC is all about. I think six monthly posts on this topic need to be written just like batteries in smoke detectors need to be replaced whenever we change our clocks for daylight savings. But we should actually follow through on the hair posts. Or the battery swapping? I forget. 
Anyway, just a quick post today as I head out to Feast Paradise, which is the name of Daimaru's food court. Remember daimaru? I do. So tasteful and neat. Turns out the people of Japan never forgot and it's been here all along. We're going there for afternoonsies. 

And here is a picture of a totally normal thing.

 
 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Hair we go again

Oh, geez, I hope K does not touch those buttons!

Me, I'm just at home and thinking about my hair. So what else is new. I've been thinking about it pretty incessantly for the last few decades months. Basically since I started losing my pregnancy hair. But finally I've booked a haircut. I've been putting this off because I literally do not have enough money to pay for a haircut and also because I didn't know what I wanted to do to my hair. But I've just decided not to eat for the next month so I can afford a haircut and this way I get a hot new body as well as new hair. (Just jokes. Don't starve yourself for a hot new body!! Obviously I'm going to eat but I just won't buy my coffee or something.)

I've also made some admissions to myself about my hair (and myself). Most significantly:

  • My hair is so dry and frizzy, if I don't do something about it stat I'm going to descend into a spiral of self loathing. 
  • A long bob actually looks shit on me and nothing like it does in my imagination, which is like this:




They say admitting you have a problem is the first step, but I feel like I've done nothing but admit I have a hair problem for the last 10 years. I guess life really is cyclical, I learn something, act on it, forget it. I guess maybe I just need to get a proper job so that I can afford haircuts and then go and get them regularly. Lesson learnt! (See you in 6 months when I've forgotten this lesson again.)

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Do not touch these buttons!!

You guys, I'm in Japan!
We arrived last night after a whole day in a plane with a two year old. This morning, we hopped on a train to Kyoto and that's where I'm writing this from.
After two days in transit I'm feeling a little fragile. But there have been lots of good times already. Like the time that qantas sat us in a row of three and didn't book anyone in the third seat so KB basically got a free seat. The time when KB poked his head over the top of his train seat and said to the stranger behind him "What are you doing?". This is the first sentence he has ever uttered, apart from "more cake!" and the like. 
The time when I got this magical coffee that made me feel like a million bucks.

 

And this sign on some miscellaneous electronic thing at our airbnb.

 
Tomorrow we start exploring in earnest. Right after another of those magical coffees. 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Happy Queens Birthday Monday



I know it's not her actual birthday but I'll take any opportunity to celebrate the queen of monochrome (AKA the Queen of England AKA the Queen of the United Kingdom and other Commonwealth Realms).


Friday, June 9, 2017

Got milk

Yesterday, J sent me a message to say that a friend of a friend of hers grew up next to the Hemswoths. 
 
Here they are introducing their fourth brother on SNL. LOL.
Anyway, naturally that got me thinking about the Hemsworths and frankly, I enjoyed that. I sent the following message to J.

 

Only I didn't. I accidentally sent it to my Mum instead, who had just texted me to say she bought milk. 

When I realised my mistake, J and I had a good chuckle. 

 

Later, when I saw my Mum, I told her what had happened...how it was a message meant for Jen in response to some information about the Hemsworths. She laughed and said she'd wondered what that was all about. 

Moments later, she said "That is quite hot".

Those Hemsworths sure do got it. 

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Kudos to those guys revisited

I'm always accidentally saying things that are probably making people feel bad about themselves, but let's just hope they think I'm a dipshit rather than feel bad about themselves. I'd be cool with that. I can't think of any examples of this because last night as I lay down with Newbie I prewrote a  blog post in my head based on the premise that K didn't write a blog post and then she went and spoiled it all by posting! And we all know that my brain isn't capable of thinking that much in a 24-hour period.

I was going to write about how I thought things were rough for me on Tuesday, but single mum life must have been really getting K down because she couldn't post. But then she did. Still, it didn't sound easy.

It's funny about being a temporary single parent. For a few days it's kind of great. You can do everything you want the way you want to do it. You can feed your children and yourself foodstuffs that your partner may consider "not a real dinner" like soup. Or chopped up vegetables and a boiled egg. You don't have to wait for him to get home either. When I'm single parenting the kids are always in bed way earlier than when LB is at home. And then I get to choose whatever I want to watch on Netflix without having to consider anyone else. It's great. And then, theoretically, I'd get the bed to myself. Except the children always think that LB's excuse means there is no reason for them not to sleep in my bed. Sigh.

However, after two or three nights of this it really does become bullshit. Like there is no one to go to the shop to buy beer and you have to brush the kids' teeth every night. And you have to clean the kitchen after dinner. Ugh. Word up to all the single parents out there because doing all the jobs all the time is bullshit. Lucky for K Appleheart comes home today. She must be pumped. I hope he brings her a bottle of whiskey from duty free.




Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Late, but not never.

Hello crab friends.
It's a late update today due to KB's ongoing refusal to daytime nap and my reluctance to accept this new reality. 
Doesn't a double negative usually lead to a positive? Not in this case. 
Poor little KB. He really needs to sleep during the day but I think the super-disrupted routine of life without Appleheart is making it hard for him. He gets so grumpy and so discombobulated without a daytime sleep. At one point during the very long afternoon he burst into tears because I sneezed. It's pretty cute really. But not if you'r KB. 
Anyway, we're not here to talk about KB, we're here to talk about me, and the fact that I keep saying things that might be making people feel a bit shit. 
First exhibit:
I was taking a walk around the block during my lunch break and someone selling The Big Issue offered me a copy of The Big Issue. I smiled and said 'no thank you' because I didn't have any cash. He said "You might find you like it!" to which I replied "Better luck next time!". Which basically sounded like "you didn't make your case. You failed. Better luck next time". 
What I meant was 'I hope you have more luck with the next person', but sheesh, why do I have to sound like such a dipshit?

Second exhibit: 
KB and I were leaving his child care centre and passed the cleaner sweeping the floor. KB said "Broom! Broom!" and the cleaner was quite delighted and impressed with KB. I said "I don't know where he learnt that from, he's certainly never seen me with a broom!". Which basically sounded like "As if I would deign to do that". 
What I meant was 'I'm really shit and I never clean', but sheesh, why do I have to sound like such a dipshit?

I don't mean to make people feel bad, but I think I might. 
I've gotta work on that.