Tuesday, June 16, 2020


Well, I got to tell you when I went to look at Miss Soft Crab last week I was not really expecting to find a post from K. I was expecting to see the Kravitz-Bonets looking at me with their beautiful faces but instead I saw this little ray of sunshine. Congratulations Tugboat and K - the big oh-one!

Having a baby - it's the biz. But of course not everyone gets to do that or wants to that so forget about it - there is so much great shit in the world and having a baby is just one thing.

Anyway, I was recently reminiscing about  the day Baby was born because he turned the big one-oh a couple of weeks ago. TEN! Sometimes (always) on my kids birthdays I like to recall their birth and make them listen to the details. They love it. When Pickle and Minderbinder dropped past on Baby's birthday they asked "It must be his birthday right around now, wasn't he born around now?" to which I answered, "In about an hour. Now would be around the time that I would have been screaming 'Turn off the drip!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!! PLEASE TURN OF THE DRIP!!!'"

Later he was born and whoa - what a delight. And then I had the best shower of my life. I couldn't leave. Though you know when I really couldn't leave the shower - DURING labour with Newbie. But that's another story.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020


I went away on the weekend and gee it was nice. 
So much of that sweet autumn sun and those beautiful autumn leaves. And because of all the rain, green grass to set it off so nicely. Does Autumn feel particularly lush this year? 

***time lapse***
I just went looking for J's last post about how great autumn is to reference here, and in the process I realised it's winter now. Oopsadaisy. But only just. It's that part of winter that actually feels like fully-fledged autumn, unlike the start, which really feels like leftover summer. Look, it's beautiful outside at the moment. Do we need to apply labels to it? 

Anyhoo, it's Tugboat's birthday in a few weeks.  He will be 1. I can't believe it's been a year (almost) since the day he was born. It was a great day. I bought some new ugg boots, then went to hospital to be induced.  There was a terrible storm, and after a while they said little Tugboat was not doing so well so how did I feel about a cesarean. I said super, thanks for asking.
Half an hour later I was lying in theatre, trembling like a leaf, so the anaesthetist put a hose under the sheet I was lying under, and it blew warm air all over me. I loved him for that. I don't remember much after the warm air, except a massive amount of pressure being applied to my belly as someone pushed Tugboat down from on top while my doctor pulled him out from below. I'm sure it was legit.  The next thing I remember was everyone in the room laughing because Tugs had grabbed onto a piece of cord  holding up the sheet, and he wouldn't let go for love nor money.

 I had many questions, like "Is my baby OK?" and "Seriously, is my baby OK?" but there was so much laughter I had to wait for a break before I could be heard. Eventually they prised his hand from the cord and put him on my chest and I'm sure you all know the rest. Cuddles and tears, on for young and old. I didn't know he was a boy so I found that out. The people in the room asked what his name would be and Appleheart said "tell em!!" so I said "Tugboat!" and everyone cheered. I guess it was pretty much the best day of my life, along with when KB was born and some other really choice days. 

It's weird that it was almost a year ago. And also weird that there was a time before Tugboat. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

I miss you '90s

I have to say I'm disappointed but not surprised by K's assessment of the television show High Fidelity. I also loved the book and the movie, which I rewatched not that long ago and fully enjoyed. And why doesn't John Cusack work more. He is great. And so is Joan.

I read a review of the TV show a while ago before I knew it was going to be on iView and though the review was a little mixed I was still excited about the prospect because of my love of previous High Fidelities and because I am also intrigued by Zoe Kravitz. I saw her in a Fantastic Beasts movie and enjoyed her well enough but I thin kwe all know that you can't really get a good read of someone in Harry Potter universe so I want to see more of her. I mean, she is everywhere and people love her and I listened to the song Flowers for Zoe hundreds or thousands of times in the '90s so I want to know more.

Anyway, when I saw HF was on iView I suggested watching it to LB but he was about as enthusiastic about it as Appleheart was about MJ by the sounds of things, so I haven't watched it yet. But I guess there were some alarm bells. Like once I saw the ads I could tell it might be a bit earnest. I am all for turning white men into black women. I need another TV show about a white man like I need a punch in the face. But there is the concern that by doing that a show may be on a bit of a mission which they take a bit seriously and really want to send a message. You know what I'm saying. Also when male characters are turned into women they often become that stereotype damaged woman, not interested in love, probably because she's been hurt too many times. But the right man just needs to come along to show her that she too can love too. Is that what's happening here? I don't know. I mean, really I'm just talking a bunch of bullshit and should probably just go watch an episode of the show.

In other news it was Lenny Kravitz's birthday yesterday. Still is on the other side of the world. Happy birthday Lenny.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Dreams of the 90s

Thanks for the wrap-up of The Last Dance, Mate. I suggested it as a night time viewing option the other night but Appleheart said he has no interest in basketball and kyboshed it. I was surprised by this, especially given his enthusiasm for the mini basketball ring we rigged up to the top bunk the other day. But I figured I'd just watch it by myself once RuPaul's Drag Race season 12 is over next week (go Crystal Methyd!!). 

Speaking of the 90s and beautiful people - High Fidelity. 
I watched the first episode of this show really wanting to like it. I loved the book and I loved the movie - seriously, John Cusack does not work enough, nor does Joan Cusack for that matter. 

I remember the movie being playful and fun but with definite pathos, just like the 90s. John Cusack's Rob was fun and appealing and also a bit of a d-bag, just like dudes in the 90s! Jokes. Those qualities are timeless. But seriously. I had high hopes for High Fidelity. And I was looking forward to seeing more of Zoe Kravitz. I haven't really seen anything else she's been in, but the fact of Zoe Kravitz's existence in a place where we can see her pleases me. I mean, that woman is like the personification of pre-teen dreams for me. Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz were a couple before we hit puberty but something told me that what they had going on was exactly the kind of thing you hit puberty for. I mean look at these guys. 

TBT: Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet

Anyway, I could barely sit through the first episode of High Fidelity and I should have known why. It's not the 90s anymore! Playful and poignant isn't a thing these days. It was so damned earnest, except for when it wasn't, and then it was trying so hard for laughs that I couldn't even muster a giggle. And rather than develop some of the other characters or develop the main character more, it seems to be playing it just like the movie,only over multiple episodes instead of 90 enjoyable minutes. At least, I think that's what's happening. I can't tell, I couldn't watch more than ten mins into the second ep. 

Still, at least it got me thinking about John Cusack, and young Lenny and Lisa. What a pair of dreamboats. 

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

The Last Dance

Have you been watching The Last Dance, the Michael Jordan doco on Netflix?  It's very enjoyable and I guess there are a number of reasons. Firstly, watching Michael Jordan play basketball is very familiar. It's not that I watched heaps of bball in the 90s, though I did watch some. But I think he was so omnipresent that the way he moved is just in the brain of a 90s teenager and was roused by watching all that footage, like a memory jogged by a smell.

Second, he was so handsome. I had forgotten how handsome he was and the first few episodes, I had to really stop my self from exclaiming to LB every time the young Jordan came onto the screen - which was basically constantly.

Which brings me to the third point, which is that he really seems to be an arsehole and there is something quite disjointing about seeing an adorable smiling face evidently be such a d-bag which is supported by the now older Michael Jordan interviews. The present-day Jordan just looks like an old ex-athlete that thinks he is top shit and thinks his dbag behaviour was totally justified. Let me also make it clear that footage of the young Jordan also make it look like he was a dbag. There's no question he was a dick, but I guess there is just something weird about seeing this man across the ages. Also, it is basically not until the end of episode 8 that you can really see anything human about him. Maybe that's what is so disconcerting. The final three episodes he does seem more human, which is also sort of enjoyable. Also it's very disconcerting that even though you think you aren't identifying with Jordan, because he's such a douche, as you watch footage of the basketball games you still really want the Bulls to win.

I also very much enjoyed seeing the other '90s basketball stars. Like, as a kid I always just thought that Scottie Pippen was just a funny-looking second fiddle to Jordan. But now I kind of love him. He, like Jordan, could be a bit of a baby, but he has this nice calm demeanour, his team mates loved him, and now I think he was actually quite handsome too?! Whatever, he is certainly kind of adorable.

And how about Dennis Rodman?! In the '90s I just wrote him off as a show-pony with dumb hair, but now I see his importance as a player and the troubled soul that led to that classic bad-boy behaviour.

Also - watching basketball! As a person that really only watches a bit of tennis and AFL,  getting familiar with basketball was thoroughly enjoyable. Was it because I was only watching the peak teams of a peak bball period? Maybe but who cares, I loved it.

All in all, I give this show several out of some stars.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

What happened last week

Mate! You’re here! It’s great to see you on the webs. Especially because I can’t see you in real life. And my front-facing camera doesn’t work on my phone so FaceTime is out of the question. So here we are! Though I confess K’s reappearance totally made me drop the ball last week. Apologies Crab fans.

So let’s do a little recap of the week that was. Hahahhahahahaha. Just kidding. Who the eff knows what happened last week? I mean who the eff knows what happened yesterday!?

Ok. A quick scroll through my phone photos reminds me that three things of note happened last week.

1) I was reintroduced to the magic of kite flying. On one of the windy days LB suggested we go kite flying, which we hadn't done in ages. Probably a year or two at least so I took the kids to the park with out kites and up they went. Yes, there was a small issue of constant fighting cause I have three kids and two kites, but at times it was just magical. Kites really are cool. And passers by would stop to watch them, even though they are the most simple kites imaginable. A little kid named Billy (probably about 3 years old) joined us and chased the kites for ages. It was delightful. And so goddamn wholesome.

2) I made eggplant subs for dinner. Actually I made everyone else in the house meatball subs, but for me, I made double-crumbed eggplant subs, with two kinds of cheese. And yes, it was delicious.

3) I found this Leonardo GIF.

You're welcome!

Friday, May 1, 2020

Hello again too


still feel a fair amount of hate for the people who are catching up on Netflix, if I'm honest. I agree with everything J says about the little pockets of time that crop up in the course of the day. They are truly delightful. In fact, today's moment of delight is likely to be  a lunchtime bath, which is a privilege afforded to me by the fact that Appleheart looks after the children on Fridays. I mean, what a great life. A lunchtime bath. Not to mention Appleheart. Not to mention children. But there's still this little fire of hate burning in my heart that I can't quite put out. Hate is too strong a word, it's more like a deeply unimpressed vibe. I think it's the fact that Mum had the stroke around the same time this started and so fear and dread are still lurking around for me, like a label that hasn't quite come off a jar. And even though Mum is doing super well (never knows what day it is, but that's OK) and Australia's Covid 19 deaths are comparatively so few, I feel deeply unimpressed with people banging on in social media about the quieter and more 'back to basics' life they're living. But that's probably just because social media brings out the worst in me. 

I'm sorry I haven't been here like I promised. Thanks to Baby for cutting me some slack but I should just be following through, dark times or not. As Justin Langer said on Barrie Cassidy's One on One the other night, if you talk excellence and deliver mediocrity, you're nothing but a common liar. 
Christ knows how I have the time for Barrie Cassidy's One on One, and why I am taking advice from someone who I thought sounded like a pretty massive d-bag and who I actually disagree with but here I go anyway. And why does Barrie Cassidy spell Barrie with an 'ie'. Isn't that weird? I'd never thought about it before but it's weird. But good on him.It's his name, he should spell it however he wants! Fuck me and my bullshit naming standards. 

As you can see, I'm kind of having some weird moods and thoughts at the moment. But I feel 100 per cent sure of my feelings about J's dinner from the Thursday post. Fucking yum!

Thursday, April 30, 2020

Hi again

Despite assurances from K a couple of weeks ago that she was still here, the truth of this seems in doubt. I know she is still somewhere, but I'm not so sure about here. But that's cool. As Baby keeps reminding me, we're living in dark times, give a co-blogger a break!

In some ways it has felt like dark times. First there was the fear that someone I knew and loved would get sick with the dreaded CV. Then there were the more general fears about a society full of people out of work and suffering. Then there was the anxiety of working from home with children bothering me. And while the first of those fears has greatly lessened, the second adequately pushed under a rug, and third somewhat made peace with, technically I guess you could say I've been feeling better about things.

Due to a number of very first world problems like too much work, a bathroom renovation and three healthy children that are essentially in my care constantly now, I feel busier now more than ever and what with having to be in the same physical space all the time with the same people my brain feels jammed packed. At first when I'd hear people on the radio talking about all the Netflix they could catch up on and projects they could undertake my blood would boil. Fuck you and your Netflix. But I have realised, despite having no extra time for Netflix or personal projects, I do have time for small moments and they are pretty nice.

Without the commute to work I get home from work at 5PM. That is, I walk from my bedroom, where I work, to the family room where everyone else is and I'm done for the day. And then I have time to hang out with my darlings AND cook a nice dinner. Yesterday morning I went for an early walk with Little Bean before I had to start work. Usually there's no time for stuff like that. I can't tell you what a drain on my normal mornings making school lunches is. I love not making them in the morning. I love it. And Baby talks to me all the time about funny stuff. That kid is going to be ten in a month - if you can believe that - and he basically has a teenager's lack of desire to talk too his parents already. But now that he has no one to talk to anymore I'm really reaping the benefits. So I'm not going to hate people for watching lots of Netflix anymore.

Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Coronavirus - The Crown style

A few weeks ago when Boris Johnson was in ICU with coronavirus, Prince Charles had been recently diagnosed with it and QEII had just given her coronavirus address I couldn’t help thinking about the episode of The Crown this would result in.

It opens at the bustling Wuhan fish market. A cold, frosty morning. Fishmongers pull fish from a truck, cold air rises from from large dead fish. A man coughs. A week later: the streets of Wuhan. People in masks, coughing. Full hospitals. Chinese officials around boardroom tables speaking frantically. Cut to QE II in the parlour where she always watches TV, a news caster reports on a deadly new virus spreading through China. “Oh dear,” says the queen.

Cut to opening credits.

The episode is all phone calls with Boris, debates over whether the UK should start shutting things down or stand strong, questions over where the royals should all be and who should be with the, Then Charles tests positive. “I see,” the queen says into a telephone receiver. (I wonder if the queen uses a mobile phone? Will the 2020 episodes still have QEII holding a land line to her face?) There’ll be discussions over whether she should address the nation. “At a time like this they need you, ma’am,” someone will tell her. Boris will get sick of course, go into hospital, end up in ICU.  Lizzie will have that strained, torn look on her face as she hears the news. Then he survives (same torn look on her face when she hears probably). She’ll be upset about missing her Easter duties but will give her touching  Easter address.  I guess eventually the numbers will start to get better too. Fewer people will die. Everyone will be cautiously optimistic. Perhaps the Queen will have to stay isolated for longer. Forever?

The episode will have that heavy feeling of the London smog episode or mining town landslide episode. Shit, a lot of bad stuff happens over 60 odd years does’t it? Ever since I started seeing COVID-19 as an episode of The Crown all news out of England appears to me as a part of the episode - it really is delightful. But I also started to think about the Crown episodes that the past decade would inspire. Terrorist attacks in London, Brexit, the Scottish referendum perhaps, Harry and Megan (can't wait for that one), some personal ones I could not foresee. Ugh. I hope this period of self isolation is giving her maj a well earned break. Girlfriend turned 94 on Tuesday, lockdown is probably the nicest thing that could have happened to her. Happy birthday QEII, stay safe.

Friday, April 17, 2020

Thanks, COVID-19

Back in the mid 00s K and I used to very much enjoy a blog called Go Fug Yourself. I dare say it was one of the inspirations for this very blog here. It was just a couple of gals talking about the clothes that celebrities wore. It was a magnificent time, Lady Gaga was reaching her height and so were her outfits. The internet wasn't saturated by, well, everything and Instagram didn't even exist!  It was a really funny blog and a great opportunity to look at all kinds of outfits, good and bad. It still exists in a much fancier form now and I haven't looked at it in years (except earlier today to verify this claim about its existence). When it started getting big and the original authors weren't the only writers anymore (and I'm not just talking about delegating to Intern George)* I think I can safely say that K and I both stopped reading it. It just lost that certain je ne sais quoi. But in its hey day it really was very good. There were a couple of particular things that the writers really did not like, fashionwise, and mostly I was in tune with them. If someone wore shorts or a skirt that was too short, the post would carry the tag 'look into pants', a person wearing leggings would get 'leggings aren't pants' (or something similar - sheesh it was more than a decade ago, I can't remember all the details) and these were all sentiments I could get behind. But as one working from home day rolls into the next I think it's safe to say my position on leggings has changed. Drastically.

I do have several pairs of leggings because I like to run in them (I mean I used to run in them, but for years now I have only fanticised about running in them) and I like to do yoga in them but other than that I rarely wear them. Oh occasionally I'll wear them around the house but they're not really a default. I am just pretty comfortable in jeans most of the time but working from home calls for something else. I do not like to work in too-comfortable clothes, I need something more constricting than pyjamas or tracksuit pants to get my mind in the right framework, but jeans can be uncomfortable for hours of sitting. Moreover, I may be stuck at home but I still want to mix it up a bit. Sheesh, girlfriend still likes to think about and wear sweet outfits. And I gotta tell ya, leggings really are the perfect pal for this scenario. The slight constriction of a good pair of leggings is just the right level of discomfort for WFH, while the flexibility gives just the right amount of comfort. And when you bother to put the outfit together, I feel like you can come up with something pretty sweet. This is what I'm wearing today - a red jumper with a nice shape, red socks to pull it all together - I'm enjoying it on a comfort and aesthetic level.


From where I sit now I could actually imagine wearing this in the real world. So I'd like to thank COVID-19 and the forced isolation for opening my eyes to this new possibility of leggings as pants. Although when the doors to the outside world open I may well find this is just like when you're holidaying in a country where the fashion sense is just slightly different and your removal from your life makes you think that you love and could wear the clothes people wear in that country. And then you buy clothes, bring them home to your natural habitat and realise there is no fucking way you'd wear those things. Oh well, only time will tell I guess.   

*You feel me GFY fans.
**Looking at this I realise I'm just wearing a really normal selection of items people would wear in their own house and maybe this doesn't warrant a photo, let alone a blog post. Oh well - too late now! 

Thursday, April 16, 2020

It’s working

think that even if your plan isn’t working, the overall scheme is.
I say that as someone who isn’t home-schooling kiddos, so it’s possible that I have no idea what I’m talking about. But I think that rolling with the heretofore inconceivable concept of working and home schooling AT THE SAME TIME (noting that you’re on leave this week Mate, but still) sounds like a noteworthy achievement. I mean, that is a totally bonkers concept that no one would have dreamed into existence just a few months ago.  Kids have got to be learning a shit load about problem solving and adaptability through this exercise. Or something. Will just fucking rolling with it be the fourth R for this generation of school kids? Perhaps. 

I had a plan about what I was going to write today too, but alas. I spent the entire day with a teething baby and a four and a half year old who sure does like to ask a lot of questions. It’s not a very inspirational scenario, and  It’s only at the end of the day that I’m getting to put finger to keyboard. 
All I feel like saying now is how much I like this corner of my bedroom. I don’t know where to put that Kusama poster, but in the meantime I like looking  at it here. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

I had a plan

I had in my head the post that I wanted to write today but as I think we all know, planning some writing in your head is not the same as writing that thing. What I should have done was write it last night, once the kids were in bed and my brain was still halfway working. But like a fool I didn't do that, expecting - for some reason - that I'd be able to write it today. You see, I took a few days off work this week, and not working has meant that I haven't felt quite as bled dry as I had been previously. But today 'school' started. Needless to say, at only 11:30am I feel completely bled dry. But it's recess now so I'm writing this different post. As this is as far as I can remove my brain from the day, (ie. not at all).

I sort of had high hopes for school starting. That it would add structure to the day and tasks for the kids to complete. But with Newbie in grade 1 he needs a fair bit of help and with Baby generally being a child that lacks motivation, is easily distracted and doesn't want to do stuff, he needs basically constant monitoring. So my hopes have sunk somewhat. But it is only day one and I guess the only way is up. Although I guess down is also a possibility if I'm honest.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Still here

Hi there. I just want to say that Mate, I’m still here and I have lots of things to talk about but due to generally being bled totally dry I am just putting this placeholder post here with a list of the things that I have to talk to you about. In no particular order:

How annoyed I am at everything all the time too
My neck
Autumn/winter wardrobe things, including how great your fair isle menswear jumper from country road, season, like, 2012 is. 
What normal will look like when everything goes back to ‘normal’
That the only thing better than having a dishwasher is have a dishwasher located directly opposite the drawer where most of the dishes go. 

There’s other things too, but these are a start.I plan to post about one of these each week. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

WFH Wednesday

Mate, I can see why you and your brother and your dad are worried in varying degrees about your mum.* But I think the fact that she had a stroke and now, due to extenuating circumstances, she can not leave the house (except for exercise, grocery shopping or medical care) gives her a pretty goddamned good excuse not to get out of bed before 11:30 or get out of her pyjamas after that. I haven't even had a stroke and look at what I'm wearing:

New world order, mate, we write out own rules now.

Although I'm now also a bit worried about K's mum, isn't it nice to talk about something other than You Know Who? I mean You Know What? On this point I've actually got a few concerns about myself, and I'm not just talking about my outfit. Last night Chickpea told me she had just had a non-You-Know-What-related conversation with her friend about some relationship troubles (the friend's not Chickpea's) and I remembered that I had met this person's partner just a year ago but can't remember that person at all. I remember a general impression that they seemed nice. But not their name or their face or anything else. I mean, isn't that kind of fucked? Also I'm pretty sure isolation is turning me into a total bitch. I mean, I don't feel changed. Maybe I've always been a total bitch, but I've noticed things. Like this morning when two friends said they didn't like feijoas, I implied there was something wrong with them. And I'm getting very annoyed by people at work. I was infuriated by an academic writing an open letter to the faculty about how hard working at home is for an academic if they have kids. As if it's not also hard for non-academic staff. But why I gotta be so angry about her exclusiveness. I mean, she's an academic, if she only wants to write about her people that's her business. Still, no harm being a bit more inclusive - am I right? Who knows. I have no idea about anything anymore. Maybe I'm just hungry. Again.

*Also thanks for that picture of the baby Strokes mate. I really enjoyed that step back into simpler times.