HEY! Remember last week I was all "Errggghhhh, I'm sick...bigger and better next week!" Well it's already next week and I'm a little better. But I'm not bigger and I'm not really great. And on the weekend I actually got WORSE than I'd been last week. But I'm not going to give you the details. I'm going to tell you something else. At the moment it's Passover and that means it has been six Jew years since Miss Soft Crab. Next week it will be the six-western-years anniversary of Miss Soft Crab!
When we started this blog we were all "All the blogs we read are going downhill! Let's start our own!" Who thought six years later we'd still be here in our own downward spiral! Just jokes this blog is awesome!
Now I think about it, I could have turned all that leftover cauliflower kugel I made in to a pretty sweet vegetable tart. Sheesh, I could have made burgers. But I didn't. Oh well.
Monday a week ago was Passover. And our Seder was full of delicious food. Everything was delicious of course. And it was a vegetarian meal which was very exciting to me because I could eat everything. But you know what was even more exciting. The meal I made with the left-over food. If you ever find yourself with left-over hasselback potatoes and some left-over eggplants with buttermilk sauce you may just be lucky enough to eat the best burger dinner of your life!
Hasselback potatoes are potatoes that have been sliced, but not all the way through, and then cooked in quite a bit of fat, salt, garlic and thyme. Before they go into an oven they may look like this. But it was something I heard Chickpea say at Seder that really got me thinking. "YUM! Potato and chips at the same time." YES! I thought. YES!
And so, when I found myself with some left-over hasselbacks and a plan to make burgers there was really only one option.
As for the burgers, it was something I heard Frandonna say after the Seder that really got me thinking. Mum was trying to give me all the eggplant left-overs and I said, "What will I do with all this?" And Frandonna said, "Make burgers." Or I think she did. So of course there was only one option. Burgers. I just mushed up the eggplant flesh with an egg and breadcrumbs, and hey presto, the moistest deliciousest veggie burgers I've eaten in a long time. I'm pretty sure they would be as delicious made with a roast eggplant and some good seasonings.
You guys, this meal was so good. Not just the best left-over meal but just a really effing great meal. I ate it twice in one week, and frankly my mouth is watering just writing about it.
It's hard to know what to cook for a dinner party at the best of times, nevermind those that are held on holy days and come with dietary restrictions.
And like I said when we were discussing this very issue over That Time of the Month dinner, the passover meal is all about symbolism, and I think there is scope to make a dish that is symbolic of the passover story. You know, something evocative of:
- wandering in deserts
- parting seas
- plagues
But who has the time to get all Heston's Feasts on the spread?
Sure, we've got the freedom (thanks to Moses) but no time.
Personally, I hope someone makes this thing called Brei. It's like an eggy matzo pancake/fritter type deal. I think it could be the hot new dish this pesach.
Haiku interpretations of what a random selection of Jews might have written in their diaries during the time that they were enslaved in Egypt and leading up to their release
Pharaoh be trippin’
He be hatin’ and killin’
Why he oppressin’?
Jews are people too
The chosen people! Jealous?
Suck it up bitches!
Is this for real?
Gotta put blood on my door?
Oi vey! What a mess!
Who’s this guy Moses?
You want I should follow him?
I hope he’s a mensch
Haiku interpretations of what one very astute observer may have written in his diary I
Blood, frogs, lice, flies and
Pestilence, boils, hail
Locusts and darkness
II
What’s coming next, huh?
Slaying of the first born? No!?
Suffer, oppressors
You know, we should get Russeth to do a special guest post about Africa because it does seem like it was a swell time, and his photos are so awesome and hilarious that after I looked through every single one on facebook, I went and got a cup of tea and then looked through every single one on facebook again.
But back to the animal kingdom, surely the most awesome of all the kingdoms around. All those furry, scaley and feathery guys? Forget about it.
If we want to talk about minds being blown, I think we really should mention the Yeti crab and the Fathead Sculpin fish.
These guys totally mess with my idea of what it is to be a crab and a fish.
First, the yeti crab.
How can a crab marry elegance and ruggedness so perfectly? If this guy was a human, I'm pretty sure he would look like Robert Redford circa Jeremiah Johnson and were he to invite me back to his cabin for a whiskey, I would go. Even if we had just met, I would go.
Not so, should the Fathead Sculpun fish invite me back to his sea cave.
People, that is a fish. A fish that looks like a man. A really, really sad man. I can't believe that guy is swimming around somewhere, looking like that. I feel terrible for him. And I think the namers have made his situation worse by calling him Fathead Sculpin fish. Not cool, namers. You should have called them the Dough fish, or something that while evocative of their appearance, wouldn't make them hate themselves and want to look away every time they swam past a reflective surface.
Gosh, what a downer, sorry guys. Lets comfort ourselves by reconnecting with another of nature's wonders.
(Thanks Croquette, for reminding me about the Honey Badger)
Clearly your potential walrus herd has never worn one of your masks. No ways they would have dismissed that idea so quickly if they had. Case in point, these awesome masks you made for pesach a couple of years ago:
(Darkness, hail, boils and slaying of the first born shown here only. You better believe all ten plagues PLUS Moses are represented in the full set!)
I, of course, love wolves the best of most things, so if I were going to a W party I would obviously go as a wolf. I would have borrowed this mask from Chickpea and maybe dressed it up with a fur coat.
But then, perhaps that would be too much for a lame EOFY work party.
Whatever, I work at home alone and celebrated yesterday the EOFY by sending out a bunch of invoices, so enough about me, lets talk about you and your wig.
BLONDE BOB FOR SHIZ! As far I as I am concerned it's a no brainer. When wearing a wig you have gots to go as far from your regular hair as possible. You have long hair, you could wear plaits any time. Plus, as commenter Cloudcontrol said, you could totally go as Anna Wintour (I wish I had thought of that. But not as much as I bet you do).
Mate, with Chutney Club yesterday and Pesach tonight and so much delicious food everywhere I really don't know where to begin. But let me give it a shot. I cannot wait to eat vegetarian chopped liver tonight. I can't wait. I am pretty sure that by the end of the night my teeth will have the same horrible furry feeling they had last night. Why you gotta be punished for eating all that delicious food by having furry teeth. I hate that. Also I really need to go for a run.
So how freakin good was Chutney Club? I know we probably say this every time, but I really think that was the best one. The chuts, the diversity, the pickles, the bloody marys, the baked goods. I think that the best thing I made this weekend was the honeyed brown butter spread. Fo shiz. Sometimes I read recipes that call for browned butter and I never really got it and now that I browned that butter and tasted all its caramelly goodness I totally understand what everyone is on about. And I certainly do not want to come down on that recipe, cause it was delicious, but why it didn't call for cinnamon I don't know. Honey and cinnamon are pretty much one of the best combos in the world. I think it added a lot to that butter. Though I also liked making caramel. I love the way it makes my kitchen smell like Disneyland and I love that it is the easiest thing and that the end result is friggin caramel. Every time I make it I think this but then what am I gonna do, just make caramel all the time and then eat it. That's not really feasible is it? Did you have a favourite chut? I really felt like they all had something great to offer. I loved the spiciness and the nut factor of the spicy pear and I loved the depth of the apple, plum and onions. I also love it when fritters are served. I love how Biz always makes a fritter. Sometimes I think of those eggplant chips from NYE ... shit I'm thinking about them right now in fact and, well, you know, I really wanna eat them. Anyways, I love fritters. Though I actually felt that the chutney they were meant for went better with cheese and the ajvar went well with the frits. And how about those bread and butter pickles. I loved how they were a bit spicy and a lot delicious. All the jams were great too, the lemon factor in your fig jam was great and that tangy marmalade. And the worcesterchire sauce, well I only tasted that in the bloody mary and it tasted pretty good to me. Until you talked about how tomato juice tastes like vomit and then somebody said chunks and then the dream was pretty much over.
In other news I am looking forward to the Seder tonight. 'Cause there ain't no party like a Passover party. Though apparently my awesome haggadah from last year wasn't good enough and Mondonna picked up a new one in Manhattan Judaica. She says that design-wise it matches our yarmulkes and the description of it was thus:
30 MINUTE SEDAH HAGGADAH. This meaningful abbreviated format includes all of the highlights of the traditional Seder. The gender sensitive, socially conscious text will appeal to all ages. Rabbinically Approved! 6"x9" format.
So I guess it sounds pretty good. But apparently when she went to buy it the guy in the shop castigated her for wanting the abridged version and suggested she only cared about the food. HA! God, I can't wait for the vegetarian chopped liver.
