This Thursday's Thoughts (AM)

Hi you guys. 

Unfortunately for all of you, the time I allocated for writing this morning's post was instead spent ironing the thing I wanted to wear today.  All I have for you instead are a few undeveloped thoughts. I'm sorry. 

But here they are! 

First thought

How annoying is ironing. It's the pits.

Second thought

I'm going to be 420 months old in a few days. What's surprising to me is not that I'm going to be 420 months old, but that it's just 420. Doesn't it seem like that number should be bigger? It does to me. 

And when do we stop counting age in months. 20 months? Do people refer to their children's age in months above 20? I'm going to ask my mum to tell people she has a 420 month old all through February. 

Third thought

I feel sad that Philip Seymour Hoffman died. And I feel puzzled that I feel sad Philip Seymour Hoffman died. 

Fourth thought

How am I going to choose a football team to barrack for in Wales? I've got a chance to choose a great team who could win something. But I can't just go for the team that's on top. They could be d-bags! My team need to be honourable men. Or at least not d-bags. It's an important decision and I don't want to eff it up!  

Better out than in (AM)

Every so often Miss Soft Crab turns her mind to something quite meaningless and fixates on it good and proper, even though she knows it's stupid to be fixating on that thing and there's a strong chance that the only reason she is doing so is because of her old friend menses.

That time is now, readers.  If you're in no mood for inanity, I suggest you come back next week because this post is a doozy. Here's the situation. 

My hair is really really boring but I don't want to get it cut because I am trying to grow it and I'm too lazy to do anything with it.  All I want is for my hair to look really great, and like I don't have to put much work in to it, because I don't want to put any work in to it.  Instead I have a lank, pre-mid length bob coloured bark-brown with a fringe that's way too long and no matter how much I pretend, I know it absolutely does need a fair amount of work to look decent. 

Something like this would be nice:

Or this. 

Instead I have this:

But I don't have Jane's fit rig to serve as a distraction.

Blergh! 

Adults only (AM)

I decided to clean out my pantry on Sunday. I think I might have told you guys about the little problem I have been having with those tiny moths that live in open packets of flour and muesli and stuff. I'd been ignoring their increasing numbers for months, but when I walked in on two of them doing it on my bathroom mirror the other day (I'm not kidding) I knew it was time to destroy their habitat.

Cleaning out the pantry is not fun. But it's something adults do and goddamn it, I have been one of those for years now so why can't I do it to?
Mainly because i'm lazy and it's a bit gross.
I found quite a few places where little moths could live happy lives. All the obvious ones, plus a container of pistachios. Everyone loves pistachios.

This is what all the stuff in my pantry looks like when it's laid out on my kitchen table.

Gross.

This is what it looks like when you drop one of the containers of flour, and almost spit the dummy, and consider calling your mother and asking her to come over and help.

The holes in the flour are were my feet were.

But this is what it looks like when you come out on the other side.

I could look in that pantry all day.

And check it out: I decided to make a whole cupboard just for my baking stuff.

I feel like a really successful person because of this. I hope you guys can learn from my example.

Amazing Animals (AM)

Anyone who knows us knows that we are total beach babes. Hell, you don't even have to know us to know that. If you just saw us walking down the street you would think oh man, where's the surf ladies? because our whole look and feel screams beach babe.

HAHAHAHA.That is a total lie. We do not look like beach babes at all. We look like this:  

Thor Friendship is coming.

But J is in love with a beach babe and I'm pretty sure Baby is a beach babe waiting to happen. But that's beside the point.

What is the point? Oh that's right.

Yesterday, I was tinkering about in the internet and I found a picture of an underwater creature that totally blew my mind, even more than the fathead sculpin fish. 

Readers: behold the Spirobranchus giganteus, also known as the red and white Christmas tree worm.

WHAT THE EFF YOU GUYS?!?!?

Does that thing just totally blow your minds, or what?

It blows my mind so much that I just invented that whole fake beach babe introduction thing so I could get you all thinking about marine environs and then post about it, even though the introduction has nothing really to do with this worm. 

Who even know worms lived under the sea? Not me! And who even knew worms could look like that? Again, not me!

I've seen it all. 

That's all, readers. Have a lovely day.