Getting real clean

I am so glad K brought this up yesterday! And by 'this' I mean cleansing and clearing and wardrobes and dressing! I have been thinking for a considerable time that if I could just clear my closet and my eyes I could do a great job dressing on a more regular basis. And in fact I have been on something of a clearing mission. I've sold some stuff on eBay recently, I've taken things to the op shop. I've committed to farewelling clothes I've held on to for a long time despite the fact I never felt happy wearing it. Why hold on to these things!? So no more! That's what I'm saying.

And all this cleansing has helped a lot. I've been wearing outfits that I've been pretty happy with lately and guys, that feels great. If you can see what's in your cupboard your eyes really are open to the possibility of outfits. Just the other day under my cupboard I found a tag of some pants I bought a few months ago, wore a few times then completely forgot about because they are stuffed in between all the other shit hanging in my cupboard. Gross, right? To be fair those pants are really summer pants so it's not like I would have been wearing them anyway but I do think that was a pretty fucked up turn of events. What if we're just buying things we already have that are just lost in our cupboards.

A full audit is in order and although I've been working towards this I think that the next step is to remove everything from my cupboard. And by that I mean EVERY THING so that I really know what is in there and can conceptualise my outfits for a brighter future. I'm feeling pretty positive about this move and I'm hoping it may give me... Oh shit I was distracted from writing this by a message K sent me about poodle puppies and then I sat in reverie wondering if I should enquire about these poodle puppies and now I have no idea what I was hoping this wardrobe audit may give me but whatever if it is I was hoping for I hope I get it!

Hot in 2013 (PM)

 

Am I interested in getting an Afghan?!?

Nice, Mate! Real nice. Wait until I am at my most vulnerable, having arrived home literally an hour ago after being in transit for the last 30 hours with about 5 broken hours of sleep, and then make me look at pictures of one of the most beautiful dog breeds around, a dog I have wanted for god knows how long and then suggesting maybe I should get one. Of course I am interested! Of course I am!  I wish there was one curled up in my bed right now. And I would lie down next to him, snuggle in and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzxz

 

Hot in 2013 (AM)

Fairly recently, I went through a period where I was overwhelmed by the desire to get a dog. You guys remember, I talked about it a fair bit. I very seriously considered getting one, but eventually decided that it wasn't the right time. My house is too small and my hours too variable to give a pooch a good life. I decided to put the dream aside for a while.

During this period I spent a lot of time gazing longingly at the dogs I saw on the street, wondering what it would be like if they were mine.  Was it a bit creepy? Sure. You probably wouldn't have wanted to be a dog in Melbourne for a while there, not if you don't like being stared at.  But it made me realise a few things. 

It made me realise that if you are a resident of the inner north walking a dog in 2012 and that dog is not a staffy, it is probably an Italian Greyhound or a Boston Terrier. They were the must-have pooch of 2012. Every second person had one! I figured that dogs can be on-trend, like single origin coffee and ancient grains. And unlike single origin coffee and ancient grains which I want no part of, it kind of made me realise that when it comes to dog trends, I am totally susceptible.  I mean, I've never really known an italian greyhound or a boston terrier personally and yet, I wanted both in 2012.

Anyway, now it's 2013 and I can't help but notice that there's a new on-trend breed on the streets of the inner-north.

These guys:

The Afghan Hound. 

I keep seeing them around, and I'm pretty sure I didn't see any during the dog-lust days of 2012. So it must be a new thing. Not for J, I might add. She has always loved the Afghan and if LB wasn't such a big red fan, I'm pretty sure they would have had one to call their own by now.

They're a very impressive looking dog. They move around very gracefully. But sometimes they look very goofy, as this guy so beautifully illustrates...

Hai guyz!

It's an appealing combination. And they also make very cute puppies.

I kind of want one. Or at least, I want to get to know one.
Mate? Are you interested?

PS: We talk about dogs quite a lot on MSC. Why not reacquaint yourselves with all our doggy talk right here. Note that the only dog referred to in some of the posts tagged 'dogs' is Snoop. 

Hello Bobby Dobby (PM)

On Saturday night I went to J, LB and Baby's place to play with Bobby Dobby and hear J talk in a Russian accent and I have to say it was a very enjoyable Saturday night.

And while Bobby Dobby is extremely cute, the accent was the highlight for me. J does one of the best Russian accents I've ever heard. And believe me, I've heard them all. When I worked at the library, every second punter was Russian and therefore I got maximum exposure to both the Russian accent and chumps trying to imitate it. J's version is Rolls Royce class.

Check out this email exchange we had yesterday, in which I compliment J on her Russian accent.

J: How was the rest of your weekend? Mine was fine thanks. Bobby Dobby is so cute.

Should I buy these pants? 

K: The rest of my weekend was very nice thank you...(blah blah blah..I talk about what I did on Sunday, you're not missing anything...)

I should have vacuumed but I couldn't be bothered. Maybe tonight I will vacuum. (I didn't)

 

Those pants have got J written all over them mate. Totally buy them. They look like stylish Bella Swan Maternity Pants.

 

I saw those pictures of Bobby Dobby you posted. Cute! It also made me think about you saying "Hello Bobby Dobby" in a Russian accent and that made me laugh a lot. I'm laughing as I write this.

And I'm laughing as I write this.

Hello Bobby Dobby (AM)

Two months ago on the outskirts of Melbourne a litter of Irish Setter puppies was born, and all the way up in Far North Queensland LB's mother heard them calling to her. So, of course, she arranged to buy one. I am not going to complain about it because for the last 3 days this adorable puppy has been staying with us.

I'm not going to complain about the shit and piss he keeps doing in the house either, or the crying he does in the middle of the night, because he is really cute. And he is leaving in 36 hours, at which time the shit and piss levels in the house should return to normal. And did I mention he is really cute? Because, he really is.

Although his name will change, we call him Bobby Dobby. Baby named him that after he went to one music class where there was a toy monkey named Bobby Dobby. It surprised me that Bobby Dobby made much of an impression on him, but perhaps he responded for the same reason I did, because the teacher is Russian. Now imagine a Russian woman saying "Hello, Bobby Dobby." Now do it again with a better Russian accent. Great isn't it?

Yeah, you bet I am loving looking after a dog that is this cute:

And that gives me an excuse to talk in a Russian accent all the time. As if I needed one.

Gifts from the Internet (PM)

A driving dog! Now I've seen everything!

What's going on? (PM)

How embarrassing that Miss Soft Crab has been embroiled in the fake Global knives racket, which is not actually a thing. This is a genuine blog readers, G.E.N.U.I.N.E! Accept no substitute!


I don't want to ruin the mood or anything, but maybe J passed over that horrifying murder in the French alps last week too quickly. You know the one - dead bodies found by the side of the road. Terrorised children found cowering. Your basic worst nightmare.

Perhaps this news story has really shaken the English people to their core, and at a time when they are super vulnerable because they probably let their guards down due to all the great things that have happened to them lately -  the royal wedding, the diamond jubilee, the olympics and that concert in Hyde Park where Blur played.

Maybe they feel so upset about it all that they have gone on the interwebs en masse  to remind themselves that France is a wonderful place, full of adorable things and attractive people, onc onc onc and naturally, Miss Soft Crab is there for them.

Assuming this is the reason, here's a little something for you, England. Hang in there, you guys.

We've never discussed it before, but Romain Duris is un grand hunk

French Bulldog, amongst the flowers. I can't stop looking at this guy. Look at his face! And imagine how warm his fur would be. He looks amenable to living in an apartment, don't you think?

Haiku Thursday (AM)

Best things

You know what I dig?

Sun, when you get on my face.

All warm and stuff. Mmmm.

Worst things

You know who you are

Dog owners of Collingwood

Pick up your dog shit

TGIF (PM)

I will never get tired of seeing that turtle faceplant into sand! His legs! Adorable.


Talk about tired! Did I tell you guys that I have increased my working week from 2 days to 3? I am so tired. I never know what day it is and the week goes really fast. And not in that good way.

Let’s  celebrate Friday by remembering the genius of Snoop Dogg, RIP to the d-o-double-g. Bob Marley, you better treat Snoop Lion right, yo.

TGIF is right!

TGIF (AM)

Oh, hi guys. 

Though I would love to write a really great post for you right now, there is a strong chance that anything I write will be pretty lame, on account of me waking up at 5am this morning and not being able to get back to sleep.
Instead, I think  it's best for everybody if I just show you these two things that amused me during the course of the week. Lets begin!  

First, a couple of texts I got from Le Flav in the middle of the night a few days ago:

Sounds like that kid was having a really great night! Shame I wasn't really a part of it. :-(

Now look at this. 

When I look at this, I see the sorrow of a dog whose nap has been interrupted by a bunch of people standing around getting their photo taken.

Now that I look at these things side by side I wonder if I am too easily amused. Oh well. 

TGIF!

Haiku Thursday (PM)

The Diamond Jubilee celebrations continue!

Its question time, Queen. 

Pop Quiz: how would Corgis like

Apartment living? 

This one would love it I reckon!

Seriously, though. 

Those cute stubby legs they have?

I think they'd love it!

Maybe not the three 

Corgis pictured below. They

Seem like sporty types. 

I found this on a website called "The Inspiration Room". Hahahahaha. 

Let's have a wonderful weekend! (AM)

Remember how on Monday I told you what an awesome week I was going to have?

Well I have had a pretty great week, and I want to tell you about it. But there is too much to say.

Like I want to tell you about how Prince really was the best. THE BEST! But I need more time, I mean, shit you guys, did you see all the stuff I had on this week, I can't give Prince the time he deserves right now.

And I would like to tell you about the delicious meal I had last Saturday at Sunnybrae in Birregurra. A delightful restaurant with surrounds that look like this:

 

And food like this rhubarb and apple souffle with mandarin sorbet, which, like an idiot, I did not order.

Idiot!

And a cute dog that tried to hitch a ride back to Melbourne with us:

And, I really want to tell you how I saw a new hairdresser this week and, you guys, I think he may be the one! I know, I am really excited.

But, if I've learned anything by watching Risky Business a bunch of times, it's that sometimes you've just gotta say what the fuck. Sure, I'll tell you about Prince one day and my new hairdresser. But not today. Today I do what I want. But don't think I'm not thinking about you guys too!

Let's have a wonderful weekend!!!

And if that don't do it for you this should:

Dogs of my dreams (PM)

I have also spent a lot of time in my life looking at dogs on the internet. Not 'cause I was looking for one, just because they are adorable.

When LB and I lived in Japan, in a time before smart phones, we would have to wait months for pictures and videos of Doggy to come from back home. Eventually LB's soon-to-be brother-in-law, B2, sent us a video of Doggy frolicking through the park set to Pearl Jam. Sadly I don't know where that video is anymore, and weirdly there is nothing that even comes close on YouTube.

Anyway during those months of waiting we had to make do looking at pictures of Irish setters on the interweb. We felt kind of dirty actually, just looking at Irish setter websites for hours on end.

Anyway enough of my seedy past. Now I sometimes look dogs up because I want to see cute things or because I want to convince K to get a dog. Like yesterday when I sent her a bunch of pictures of Italian greyhounds looking super cute:

CAN YOU EFFING BELIEVE HOW CUTE THIS IS?!?!

And that was before I even knew about the fact that "the young dog is often particularly active, and this high level of activity may lead them to attempt ill-advised feats of athleticism that can result in injury."

My mission here is clear. I will not rest until K owns one of these adorable little guys!

Dogs of my dreams (AM)

I spend a lot of time thinking about getting a dog. I would love a dog so damned much.
The problem is, I live in the tiniest flat in the world, and am away from it for the majority of each day.These are not good conditions for a little doggy.
Still, I long for one.

Sometimes, I go looking around the internet for dogs that need a new home. Other times, I do google searches such as "dog breeds that are OK with living in a small flat, and being alone for most of the day".If I see a cute dog being taken for a walk around my neighbourhood, I rush home to research that breed's attributes and aptitude for small flat living. I actually spend a lot of time researching dogs on the internet. This is how I know that there is a lot of extremely charming writing about dogs and their little doggy personalities on the internet, and to this I have lost hours of my life. I can't help it! When you don't have a dog, you read about dogs a lot and then imagine what your life would be like if you had one.

Check out something I read recently, about the Italian Greyhound:

 

"The young dog is often particularly active, and this high level of activity may lead them to attempt ill-advised feats of athleticism that can result in injury."

Ill-advised feats of athleticism! That sounds so cute! And of course it made me wonder what such feats could be. Perhaps playing rough with a St Bernard? Running a little doggy marathon? Whatever it is, it sounds pretty adorable, though I imagine the person who wrote that probably had to spend a lot of money at the vet some time after such an occasion and that is uncool. No vet bills when you just read about dogs on the internet though!

 

Wanna know something about the Hungarian Vizsla? Ok, know this:

"They quickly form close bonds with their owners, including children. Often they are referred to as 'velcro' dogs because of their loyalty and affection. They are quiet dogs, only barking if necessary or provoked. Sometimes when these dogs feel neglected or want something, they will cry."

 

Close bonds? Loyalty and affection? Crying when they feel neglected? Get out of town with those super super cute attributes, Hungarian Vizslas! This breed actually gets researched a lot in this household, mostly because there is an HV that gets taken for walks in my neighbourhood and despite the goofy gait of the one pictured above, it is the most beautiful elegant little doggy. 

You can bet I got pretty excited when I read this about the Boston Terrier:

"Their usually sensible attitude towards barking makes them excellent choices for apartment dwellers."

 

Nothing about that little guy on the right makes me think that s/he has a sensible approach to anything but nevertheless you guys, the BT is an excellent choice for apartment dwellers which is exactly what I am!

Poodles are my first doggy love, because I grew up with them. First we had Biff, then Wilbur, and now my parents have Alby and Ned. Just because I  have lived with several, doesn't mean I don't want to read about them on the internet sometimes, which is how I discovered this: 

"All of the Poodle's ancestors were acknowledged to be good swimmers, although one member of the family, the truffle dog (which may have been of Toy or Miniature size), it is said, never went near the water."

Cute!

I wish I could close this post by telling you guys that after all this research I have decided to get a dog but goddamn it, I just can't. Home alone all day guys. In a tiny apartment. 

That would make anyone cry. 

Maybe I should move!

OMG! (PM)

O.M.G.!

I don't know what I am OMGing harder over, that someone would head their lost dog notice with OMG; the excessive use of punctuation in said notice; or that you would text a random person to find out if there lost dog is ok.

I guess this could have been  done for journalism, in which case, word! Way to take Miss Soft Crab to the next level.

Or it could have been done in the name of humanity. Just one human being caring about another. And a dog. In which case, word. You are really nice.

While I am happy that 'Jack' is okay, I still think it's kind of weird you know that.

OMG! (AM)

I don't know why, but my front yard is a real litter trap.
There's always some piece of detritus or another blowing about. Take-away menus. Junk mail. Chip packets, only some of which are mine. It's a mess!

This is my actual front yard. Litter is visible to the left of the main shrubbery, however usually there is more than this. I only took this photo to document the rhino figurine someone left on my letterbox one time, not to illustrate the litter situation.Take my word for it though, the litter situation is bad.

Normally I step over the litter on my way inside, then on bin night, I scoop it all up and chuck it out. Last night, however, a special piece of litter caught my eye, so I picked it up and read it right away.

I stuck it on my wall so we could all read it properly.  

OMG!  I thought. Where's 'Jack'?

The whole tone of the notice, combined with the senility of 'Jack' made me kind of worried for the little guy.


I thought I should get to the bottom of the situation, for all our sakes.

 Phew!

Haiku Thursday Goes Rogue (PM)

AM rogue haiku right here

Foggy Doggy, redux

History books, take note:

J's right, Doggy is the best

Fact, not opinion.

PS

Speaking of best things

Phwoar, Rafael Nadal. Phwoar!

Am I right, ladies?

Haiku Thursday Goes Rogue (AM)

I know that Haiku Thursday happens on Thursdays, but this thing is out of control. Because yesterday was a public holiday Haiku Thursday insisted on appearing today! This thing is bigger than all of us.

Foggy Doggy

No disrespecting

The other dogs of the world

But my guy's the best

Haiku Thursday - Twilight Saga Edition (PM)

Haiku impressions of Jacob
by K and J

I

In real life I
Love wolves. In Twilight Saga
I'm team wolf. TEAM WOLF!

II

I love how the wolves
Are giant. I love how they
Are too hot for shirts

III

I love how the wind

Blows through their fur. It suggests

Sensitivity.

IV

As well as being

a wolf (hot), Jake just seems like

better company.

V

If Edward's feelings

For Bella are wrong, then mine

For Jacob are too

VI

Yeah. I guess we both

Know police chief swan is more

Age appropriate.

Behind you!

Haiku Thursday (AM)

The dogs of minor celebrities

I

Tim Rogers walks his 

samoyed, shit bag in hand.

Samoyed? Really

II

Traffic light tangle

Kate Cebranos bike and dog

With my dog and pram

III

Doggy once pissed on

Charlie Pickering's dog. HA!

Sorry Pickering