It doesn't have to be this hard

First let me say that I guess the girl in that picture with the fuzzy boots looks good, but I'm pretty sure it's not the fuzzy boots doing it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that everything would look better if there were no boots with the fur. The difference between the girl in the Sartorialist's picture and the girl we saw on Swan Street on Sunday afternoon is that every other bit of the Sartorialist girl's outfit work. But the girl on Sunday was dressing to a concept without really having all the right bits to do it. The chunky scarf was great, the dusky pink jumper was great, but those jeans, they were not good. I hate to sound like a snobby bitch (just jokes, I love to sound like a snobby bitch), but they were just some nasty cheap skinny jeans that weren't doing any body anyone any favours.Not her outfit, not our eyeballs. So I guess this should be part of the Criteria, don't buy a cheap version of a good look unless it is a really, really good imitation that looks awesome.

But first and foremost the number 1 question to be asked when trying on a potential purchase is "do I look awesome in this?" With a subset of questions being,"Is this a super colour on me? A super cut on me? Does it hang in a totally flattering bithin' way?" And if you don't answer yes to all of these things, well forget you potential purchase.

Perhaps another question is "will this contribute in a totally awesome way to my wardrobe? What will I wear it with?" And of course you need to answer yes to the first part of that question and then a bunch of things to the second part, but I think you know what I'm saying.

Also, "is this a fantasy piece?" Maybe it's the kind of thing you want because it looks really awesome but may not actually be able to wear it.


Well I think if the answer to the first question is yes, this looks awesome, then it's time to leave fantasy in the past and just bust that shit out. Wear that awesome thing. Wear it.

I feel delirious. Perhaps these are not criteria at all. Perhaps they are lame.

In other news today I saw a man with a giant ape toy.

It shouldn't be this hard

So today I am wearing the top I bought on the weekend and so far so good. It's really very comfortable. Like wearing a nightie. And I really like the colour. I also like how the sleeves are on the long side, because I like pulling sleeves down my hands, it gives me a sense of comfort. This top is totally made for that. Right now, my sleeves are at the base of my knuckles! See?!

That never happens! What a great top this is. But enough about the top. I'm not here today to talk about the top. I'm here to talk about the Criteria.

We've been discussing the Criteria in vague terms for some time now, but it's time to bed that shit down. I leave for NYC soon, and whilst there I plan to spend like the prostitute played by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she goes out shopping for the second time, after the hotel manager played by Hector Elizondo helps her out. Only, I won't need the help of Hector Elizondo, because I will have the Criteria.

Lets revisit the story so far.

Speaking personally, the idea of developing criteria to guide clothes purchases grew from the need to fix two major problems: a) I never ever have anything to wear because my wardrobe is lame; and b) I always seem to be buying things/harbouring a desire to buy things, yet I continue to find myself in the situation outlined in point a.

Basically, my wardrobe never gets better. At any given time it has a handful of nice things in it that I wear over and over again until they wear out or become very unfashionable. Then, out of panic, I buy something. At best, the thing I buy is nice and integrates well with other things I have (please refer to earlier comments about my new top). If this happens, it is by accident, not by design. More often, the thing I buy doesn't actually work that well at all, and becomes part of the lameness. Then comes exasperation over the enduring lameness of my wardrobe. Then comes the urgent desire to buy something. Then the cycle continues onwards and onwards to infinity. The cycle is total BS and damn well needs to end. I see that the lame wardrobe is a direct product of lame purchasing practices, I totally see that. And while I would like to think that I should just be able to make better choices by being more sensible and dispassionate about the things I buy, it would appear that I really can't. I need to get regimented about this shit, and purchasing criteria are the way I am going to do it.

Of course, figuring out what the criteria should be may be a little difficult and that's why we need to start workshopping. Lets start now!

I think we can agree that the guiding criterion should be Does this (thing) look really great on me?

I mean really, what's the point if it doesn't. Take that girl we saw on Sunday for example. She looked awesome in her dusty pink sweater, skinny jeans and moss green chunky knit scarf, but ridiculous in her fuzzy rimmed ankle boots. Obviously the boots fit in with the style she was cultivating - which I would call co-ed in Autumn - but the shoes looked so stupid that her successful execution of the style was totally undermined by the fact that she looked lame.

The fuzzy rimmed boots can look good.

Right?

But they didn't look good on the girl we saw on Sunday. And the first Criteria will ensure that we never find ourselves brought undone by fuzzy rimmed boots.

(Thank you Sartorialist for picture of successful execution of fuzzy rimmed boots)