Thanks, COVID-19

Back in the mid 00s K and I used to very much enjoy a blog called Go Fug Yourself. I dare say it was one of the inspirations for this very blog here. It was just a couple of gals talking about the clothes that celebrities wore. It was a magnificent time, Lady Gaga was reaching her height and so were her outfits. The internet wasn't saturated by, well, everything and Instagram didn't even exist!  It was a really funny blog and a great opportunity to look at all kinds of outfits, good and bad. It still exists in a much fancier form now and I haven't looked at it in years (except earlier today to verify this claim about its existence). When it started getting big and the original authors weren't the only writers anymore (and I'm not just talking about delegating to Intern George)* I think I can safely say that K and I both stopped reading it. It just lost that certain je ne sais quoi. But in its hey day it really was very good. There were a couple of particular things that the writers really did not like, fashionwise, and mostly I was in tune with them. If someone wore shorts or a skirt that was too short, the post would carry the tag 'look into pants', a person wearing leggings would get 'leggings aren't pants' (or something similar - sheesh it was more than a decade ago, I can't remember all the details) and these were all sentiments I could get behind. But as one working from home day rolls into the next I think it's safe to say my position on leggings has changed. Drastically.

I do have several pairs of leggings because I like to run in them (I mean I used to run in them, but for years now I have only fanticised about running in them) and I like to do yoga in them but other than that I rarely wear them. Oh occasionally I'll wear them around the house but they're not really a default. I am just pretty comfortable in jeans most of the time but working from home calls for something else. I do not like to work in too-comfortable clothes, I need something more constricting than pyjamas or tracksuit pants to get my mind in the right framework, but jeans can be uncomfortable for hours of sitting. Moreover, I may be stuck at home but I still want to mix it up a bit. Sheesh, girlfriend still likes to think about and wear sweet outfits. And I gotta tell ya, leggings really are the perfect pal for this scenario. The slight constriction of a good pair of leggings is just the right level of discomfort for WFH, while the flexibility gives just the right amount of comfort. And when you bother to put the outfit together, I feel like you can come up with something pretty sweet. This is what I'm wearing today - a red jumper with a nice shape, red socks to pull it all together - I'm enjoying it on a comfort and aesthetic level.

**

From where I sit now I could actually imagine wearing this in the real world. So I'd like to thank COVID-19 and the forced isolation for opening my eyes to this new possibility of leggings as pants. Although when the doors to the outside world open I may well find this is just like when you're holidaying in a country where the fashion sense is just slightly different and your removal from your life makes you think that you love and could wear the clothes people wear in that country. And then you buy clothes, bring them home to your natural habitat and realise there is no fucking way you'd wear those things. Oh well, only time will tell I guess.   

*You feel me GFY fans.
**Looking at this I realise I'm just wearing a really normal selection of items people would wear in their own house and maybe this doesn't warrant a photo, let alone a blog post. Oh well - too late now! 

Well shit

K's done an out of session Friday post. Does this mean I don't need to post today? Up is down! Down is up! Tom Hardy is hot in Dunkirk! But don't bother seeing it for his hotness! I don't know what is going on today! But I'll just say this: I know that people, including Miss Dizzy and Pickle are pretty hot for this Tom Hardy. Frankly I don't see it.  According to IMDb he's in films that I've seen but I've never noticed him in those. I've just seen him in photos on the internet which do nothing for me. BUT I am the first to admit that seeing a person front and centre in a film can do a lot, A LOT for their hotness. So don't worry Tom Hardy, I'm not writing you off yet.

TGIF

First things first, let's clear some things up from earlier in the week. No, I didn't eat a lot of cheese on Tuesday night, so my cheese dreams came as quite a surprise. I did, however, eat a lot of cheese last night to see if I could make myself have crazy cheese dreams again, but not so much as a turn-up-at-work-naked dream was had. Just goes to show that cheese dreams can strike at any time. 

And now it's Friday! Hooray! Back in the day, J had a great Friday playlist that she would listen to on her Friday morning commute and it was basically a recipe for a party mood. I wish I had that playlist now. But I don't. But here are two songs I will listen to today. 

The first is for the mellow mood at the start of the day. It's September Song  performed by Lou Reed. Even though it's called September song, it evokes autumn so it's appropriate for the Southern Hemisphere April/May. 

The next one is far from mellow. It's for when you're in the mood to crack this day open like a fancy dessert form Masterchef that looks like a golden orb but when you crack it has something oozey and delicious inside. It's He'll never be an old man river by TISM. 

Have a nice weekend, Crabbies. 

Thought(s) if the day

1. Contrary to K's high-tech image yesterday I think summer is at its finest when it gives us warm days and overnight minimums in the teens. 

2. Would you talk to someone you vaguely knew at high school when you saw them 20 years later and your acquaintance was so meagre you couldn't even remember their name? 'Cause I wouldn't. 

3. TGIF. 

Fun fantastic Friday

Although it is clearly taking K and me some time to get into the swing of our new single, daily post regime I'm feeling pretty positive about it. Excited even. There are a bunch of reasons why. For example, a change is as good as a holiday and I love holidays! The new format demands something slightly different and I think this new approach may be good for my brain. And  something I hadn't really identified until today, it is bringing back into our lives all the days, opening doors for new post concepts, probably based on alliteration and also allows the return of classic MSC favourites such as WTF Wednesday, Terrific Tuesday and Friday Favourites!

But let's talk about today. According to Baby, Fridays at school are referred to as fun, fantastic Friday. It's probably just one hour in the afternoon where they get to draw or something, but whatever this phrase means exactly, he's always excited about it. But why does he get to have all the fun. I love alliteration too! And Fridays! I'm totally going to have a fun fantastic Friday! Here's how:

I'm going to send Baby to school and Newbie to childcare which means I'll just be home with Whoopsee which means that I have a whole six hours in which I mainly get to do whatever I want. And considering that all I really want to do is lie around and cuddle my sleeping baby and play with her when she wakes up I think I'm totally going to tick every box on my to-do list tomorrow!

But it doesn't stop there! It wouldn't be a MSC day supreme if it didn't involve coffee so naturally I'm going to drink a bunch of that. I may even have a home brew with some porridge, raspberries and vanilla yoghurt in the morning and one in a cafe later. Go hard or go home I always say.

And just to nail the day I may even go check out a jumpsuit that K brought to my attention the other day and if it looks as cute as was hinted at when I drove past the shop window yesterday it really might put the fantastic into this Friday.

Let me tell you guys, if you are the mother of three children including a 7-week-old baby it really doesn't take much to turn a regular day into a fun fantastic one. It's kind of like being a one-pot screamer. Sure people may laugh at you because you are such an easy drunk but you'll have the last laugh cause you only have to spend five bucks at the pub. I'm just the activity equivalent of that. Sure you may think I'm a loser for doing nothing with my life, but who has the last laugh? I do! Because I all I have to do is have an extra coffee and lie around and I get to feel like I'm really nailing life. Yeah!

Friday Favourites: Friday (PM)

Friday! Good call mate. Friday is the best. I only work 2 days a week and one of those days is Friday, and still this day is my favourite.

Music sounds better on Friday because you know there is a chance that you could go out and dance to that music that very night!

Even though Monday brings a longer break for me than Friday, I still love Friday better because it means that everyone is on break, not just me and Baby.

Plus it's just the vibe of it.
And even though I slept in this morning and was 45 minutes late for work, my computer isn't working so about 60% of my tasks are unavailable to me and BOM said it was going to be 27 degrees but instead it was cold-as degrees this morning, you know, it's Friday, so I'm doing ok.

It's like R Kelly said, it's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm about to have me some fun!

Friday Favourites: Friday (AM)

Clearly Miss Soft Crab is a pretty massive fan of the weekday 'Friday'. 

You can tell because of all the special things we do on Friday, like Hunk and Babe of the Month, Friday Favourites the use of the tag TGIF, which we have done 15 times. Also because we are regular people and all regular people love Fridays. You can tell from that too. 

I have been longing for this particular Friday all week, because of the struggles that have beset me due to the vodka situation last Friday. All week I have been eyeing it in the corner of the room that is my mind. Casually sidling up to it, basically doing to Friday what K-Stew is doing to 'that ass' in this picture.  

 

Thank you, Hey Girl it's K-Stew for this photo, and for all the good times. 

It was while thinking how fine Friday is looking (on Monday, probably) that I realised, Friday really deserves a Friday Favourites post of its own. And because of the struggles that have beset me due to the vodka situation last Friday, I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to post about today. 

So lets consider just a few things that are wonderful about this truly wonderful day of the week - apart from the fact that it is the herald of the weekend which we all know and we don't need to go on about here. 

Undeniable supremacy. Everyone knows Friday is the best day. It is a fact, it is a stone cold truth. The only days that give it a run for its money are Monday, when Tuesday is a public holiday and Thursday when Friday is a public holiday. But they don't really come close.  That Friday is so clearly superior to the other days is special, and hot, and what Lance Armstrong was trying to achieve, I assume, by cheating. You wish, Armstrong! You're no Friday! You're a goddamned Tuesday at best. 

Enduring love. I have loved this day forever and I don't think my feeling will ever change. The only other things I can say that about are certain people and hot chips.  That's special. 

It brings good things. Friday is a casual day at work. You want to know what I'm wearing? Jeans. Yeah I am. Clean jeans that I washed during the week so are a little tight but I'm managing, thanks for asking. The only work outfit that can challenge jeans for comfort and style is the t-shirt/no pants combo I wear when I'm working from home and want to really take advantage of the situation. 

Sometimes, on Friday, Russeth and I go out to lunch. We call those days Special Friday and they really are special. Only on a Friday, readers. 

I could go on and on but lets hand over to J to see what she has to say. 

Let me finally say that Friday's child is loving and giving. Well I don't care a damn what Friday's child is like, because Friday itself is one magnificent Mother. Over to you Matey. 

TGIF (PM)

Well, mate, at least you had The Guardian to solve your mystery for you (really? You’ve never heard of animal testing?) I’m pretty sure the mystery I faced this morning will never be solved.

It’s something that has been baffling me for months but was really shoved in my face this morning as I walked up the escalators at Parliament station past walls plastered with Tag Heuer ads.  Why did Tag Heuer blow all their advertising budget on Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz without saving any for the or advertising guys?

If they had budgeted better perhaps they would have had someone to tell them that this picture of Leonardo staring angrily into space while holding a watch in his hand is ugly and stupid. Who holds a watch like that? Shouldn’t he be happily wearing that watch on his wrist? I guess I am not a man, so maybe as a person outside their target market I’m missing something but this ad just has me asking questions, not coveting watches. People of advertising, you’ve effed it again.

TGIF.

TGIF (AM)

This morning I was lying in bed, listening to the radio while half asleep, and heard what sounded like someone saying that scientists have made a breakthrough in their use of stem cell therapies, allowing them to restore hearing to deaf gerbils. 

At first, I thought cute!

Then I started to think gee, I didn't realise that deafness was an issue in the gerbil community, and if it is, how did the scientists know about it? Could all those things people say about sex and gerbils be true, and could the use of gerbils in sex acts have caused the scientists to become aware of an hearing affliction within the species? Were those early sex gerbils in fact little fuzzy pioneers who's sacrifice will be remembered by generations of gerbils with crystal clear hearing? Then I started to think shit scientists, I know gerbils deserve quality of life too, but shouldn't you really be trying to make things better for humans, not gerbils, you sick fu(ks? 

Then I realised that it was 6:15am, I was half asleep and there was a fair chance that I had misheard the radio presenter and in fact it wasn't deaf gerbils in whom scientists had restored hearing using stems cells, it was probably something like deaf Germans. There would be no massive public health intervention directed at gerbils and I needn't worry about the misuse of public money (which is something I worry about all the time) or that scientists are creepy. 

I chuckled at myself for being a dufus, then I chuckled at myself for real over all those gerbil thoughts I had then I tried to squeeze in a few more minutes of shut-eye. 

Now I am properly awake and there is this.  I guess the world makes both a little more and a little less sense to me now. 

Anyway, TGIF you guys. 

 

Thank God I checked Facebook again (TGICFA) (AM)

This week has been pretty exhausting. Yeah, this is only my second working day of the week. And mostly I've just been watching Breaking Bad, looking in some shops, chilling with my homies, dancing, cooking, but you know, my brain got all jazzed on spring earlier this week and what goes up must come down.

So looking for inspiration last night I did all sorts of questionable things. I watched 15 minutes of The Footy Show hoping they would give me something. I knew they wouldn't, but Jimmy Bartel was on and I am, after all, a human. Anyway, even Jimmy couldn't make that shit watchable so I turned to Facebook. I hardly ever look at that stupid website these days and now I know why. All FB gave me was a raging jealousy of Chickpea's trip to Tokyo and her access to all that stationary, also I got sore eyes after rolling them so much at all the annoying shit people say.

But then. Just before bed I had one last look. And I saw this! Two friends posted it. And thank Christ! The first time I saw the link I didn't click it. Thanks Little Wonders for posting this clip of Edward and Bella' bad lip reading. Otherwise I might have gone to bed without shedding those tears of hysteria.

TGIF (PM)

I will never get tired of seeing that turtle faceplant into sand! His legs! Adorable.


Talk about tired! Did I tell you guys that I have increased my working week from 2 days to 3? I am so tired. I never know what day it is and the week goes really fast. And not in that good way.

Let’s  celebrate Friday by remembering the genius of Snoop Dogg, RIP to the d-o-double-g. Bob Marley, you better treat Snoop Lion right, yo.

TGIF is right!

TGIF (AM)

Hi readers.

TGIF!

Did I tell you guys that I took a week off last week? I totally did.  I took a week off and had a sweet holiday in Melbourne. Boy oh boy those were the days.

This week was a normal one though and so yada yada yada  I'm really tired now.
So instead of banging on about stuff, I'm just going to show you guys this super cute thing and let you get on with your days. 

Bye!

TGIF (PM)

Sorry to hear that you woke up at 5am. But lucky you found some amusement this week.

Today I woke at the respectable hour of 7am but I have had a bunch of mildly stressful and annoying things happening this week so it's like metaphorically I was waking at 5am everyday. If you know what I mean. You don't? Well screw you! Jokies. Oh no. This isn't going well at all.

Anyway this stressful week has meant my eyes were pretty much closed to all things amusing. The one amusing thing I actually did see this week is the new Die Antwoord video, thanks to Russeth. I love Die Antwoord. The clip is really pretty too. The beautiful colours. You may like to keep in mind that Yolandi and Ninja are doing it in real life. They have a child together.

TGIF!

TGIF (AM)

Oh, hi guys. 

Though I would love to write a really great post for you right now, there is a strong chance that anything I write will be pretty lame, on account of me waking up at 5am this morning and not being able to get back to sleep.
Instead, I think  it's best for everybody if I just show you these two things that amused me during the course of the week. Lets begin!  

First, a couple of texts I got from Le Flav in the middle of the night a few days ago:

Sounds like that kid was having a really great night! Shame I wasn't really a part of it. :-(

Now look at this. 

When I look at this, I see the sorrow of a dog whose nap has been interrupted by a bunch of people standing around getting their photo taken.

Now that I look at these things side by side I wonder if I am too easily amused. Oh well. 

TGIF!

Lets have a wonderful weekend! (PM)

Hahaha, oh  J, you sure do love that Elmo on the moon youtube. And why not?  Elmo has some rad moon moves. Smooth and mellow, just what a lady needs at the end of such a busy week. And Snoop! Just what a lady needs. End of sentence.
But now it's Friday afternoon, the home stretch of this crazy busy week, and I'm somewhere between
feeling crazy tired and crazy excited, which is a lot of crazy guys, a feeling that they have a word for and that word is hysteria . I feel hysterical. And now, after bashing out the word crazy this many times I can think of only one song to close the week with.  Crazy by Patsy Cline.
Just jokes.
While I do love that song, I think it's a little too mellow for a Friday afternoon. So lets get Beyonce to drive this baby home. All my ladies if you feel me:

See you next week, Crab fans!

TGIF. That's all. (PM)

Geez, mate, no wonder you are TGIFing so hard. What a lame week you have had. What kind of a d-bag snaps off someone's windscreen wiper? Geez, a-hole, get a life. At least you don't live far from a Kmart, those guys will totally sell you a new windscreen wiper.

I am actually just the opposite of TGIFing. I am OMIFing. (That means oh, man, it's Friday.) Cause I only work on Mondays and Fridays and what with Easter it feels like I haven't worked in about a million years. So I had about a million emails to deal with today and blah blah, you know how it is.

Still I can't complain at all really. Yesterday I went to the zoo and I saw a motherflipping baby orangutan! Have you ever seen one of these guys up close. It is the cutest freaking thing. THE CUTEST!

Anyway, let's get back to Friday. I have this playlist on my iPod of songs I used to listen to on my way to work on Friday mornings when Friday used to mean something to me, to get in the mood for the weekend. It starts with R Kelly and ends with Snoop Dogg. Yeah, it's really good. Here is a golden track from that playlist. Let's let our Friday on!

TGIF. That's all. (AM)

I am TGIFing so hard right now. I came in to this week with the wrong attitude, thinking that because it was a short week, it would also would be quick week. 

What a sucker I was. This week has dragged like the the tractor wheels contestants on The Biggest Loser have to drag along from ropes tied around their waists sometimes. Which is to say it dragged a lot!

You know what else dragged? The fact that someone snapped one of the windscreen wipers off my car, then dumped it on the footpath right next to my car. Have you ever seen a disembodied windscreen wiper, readers? It's really kind of sad. Kind of like an inside out umbrella is sad. But vandalism is a not sad. Nor is it funny. It's just a drag.  A real drag. 

Anyway, as you can see, I'm really T-ing G that it's F. 

Wikipedia knows what i'm talking about. Check it: 

"In many countries, Friday is the last day of a five-day working week, and is viewed as a cause for celebration or relief (leading to the phrase "TGIF", for "Thank God/Goodness It's Friday"). In some workplaces employees are allowed to wear less formal attire on Fridays, known as Casual Friday or Dress-Down Friday.

Of course no one has ever called Casual Friday "Dress-Down Friday", but I think Wikipedia has captured the essence of what I'm talking about here. So lets celebrate our progress through the week with a song, shall we? I was going to play Friday on my mind by the Easybeats because it's on topic and rad. But then I remembered this song and thought I would play it instead. I'm just kind of in the mood for it today. 

Some things I saw one time (AM)

One time I went to San Francisco and we went to Fisherman's Wharf and saw this old toys museum. Not toys really, games, arcade games.

Some 'games' were games. Some 'games' were just weird things with dancing guys in them.

Or monkeys.

Of course there were also psychic games. Like this one that you ask a question so you can "find out" the answer. It's pretty likely that any question you may have is represented here.

Mummy's answer?! What?

Then we saw a segway tour. HAHAHA.

IF

While I understand that many of the world are really happy it's Friday, I have to confess that I had a mid-week jaunt down to the beach and haven't had much work on so to me it's Friday and that is not as exciting to me. But it's nice. Friday is always nice.

Here are some things that happened to me this week.

A funny thing
The other day I was driving Russeth around and he gave me some instructions.
Russ: Do a U-banger. Or as the kids call them, a U-tweet.
Me: Do they REALLY?!
Russ: No.

An awesome thing
Um, guys I just told you I went to the beach in the middle of the week and haven't had much work on. What else do you want. Sheesh.

A disappointing thing
I walked into American Apparel earlier today and silverchair's smash hit single Tomorrow was playing. "Man," I thought to myself, "awesome." Then seconds later one of those d-bags that works in AA changed the track. So disappointing. A bit later I walked into another shop and the song Quando Quando Quando was playing. "Awesome," I thought to myself, "I love this song". Only to realise seconds later that it was the totally insipid version by Michael Buble and Nelly Furtado. D-bags.

TGIF

TGIF everybody. Though, truth be told, I felt like it should have been Friday yesterday. But at least it is Friday today.

Here are some things that happened this week.

A funny thing
On the tram, on the way to the footy last Sunday I overhead this conversation between two tweens.
Tween1: "What's that really big thing? Is that the MCG?"
Tween2: "OMG, yes! And that's Rod Laver Arena where I saw Taylor Swift!!!
Tween1: "OMG! Is that where Miley Cyrus was too?"
Tween2: (sounding slightly dismissive) "I don't know. My Dad wouldn't let me see her because he thinks she is a skank."
HAHAHAHA

An awesome thing
I paid off my HECS debt at long last! When my next pay cheque comes through, I am totally going to spend the shit out of the extra money! I am going to buy things I want but don't need, like headphones and a stick blender.

Another awesome thing
I finished watching season 3 of True Blood, aka Sexual Vampires. Bill is such a dickhead! Eric Northman forever!

A disappointing thing
I had an awesome dream last night. I woke up from it in the middle of the night thinking that was awesome, I am totally going to blog about this tomorrow but then when my alarm went off this morning, I couldn't remember a thing. I assume it involved food or hunks, but I'm just guessing.