Haiku Thursday (AM)

In praise of K

In a loaned esky 

At Easter I found Hemsworth 

The best one too, Chris

But birthday gifting

More delicate, difficult

It's not all easy

Here lies gwyneth 

Loathed and loved, I'd never buy

But own this? Yes please

2016 reflections (PM)

Well, this is embarrassing. First of all, I'm here on the wrong day. Sorry about that. Basically, my circadian rhythms are to blame, and even though I knew yesterday was called 'Thursday', I didn't realize it was in actual fact, Thursday. Then, this morning, while trying to find the source of the weevil infestation in my pantry, I remembered it was Thursday yesterday and I had some MSC to write. 

I jumped on my iPad and wrote about how even though January 2016 was an intense month for me too (5 countries, -12 degrees on some days, a baby strapped to my chest constantly whenever i went shopping though really, I wanted to be trying on clothes, Bowie and Rickman) it was actually a wonderful, wonderful time. I mentioned that I ate some great rye bread and a spit roasted pork knuckle sandwich. I mentioned that I saw the opera that Appleheart and his pal wrote and while I expected to not really like it much because I know nothing about contemporary opera, it totally blew my mind. I also mentioned how I took KB for his very first swim at a pool in Munich and the woman behind the counter asked me in a very thick accent whether I needed any "Aqua shorts for babies". Hahaha. 

But then I had some technical difficulties while trying to search for a photo of the Aqua shorts I bought and it all disappeared! Boo. So basically I guess I'm saying that January was intense but wonderful, and February is a bit of a shambles, but gee it's nice to be home. 

Mixed Feelings (PM)

I know that my approach to life and many of K's mixed feelings seems to be that everyone should just harden up, but I draw the line at listening to the death throws of the rats you have poisoned. I wouldn't have even been hard enough to poison them let alone listen to their mournful squeals. 

Of course the rats had to go. And I guess rats are somewhat harder to get rid of from your roof than a possum. A possum you just wait to leave and then fix up the hole where they are getting in. But who knows what you do with rats? We had mice once and trapped them with humane traps. If you consider displacing a mouse from its home humane. Which, considering the alternatives, I guess I do. So I wish I could help you resolve your feelings with this mate, but I think they're probably just going to have to remain mixed. 

Why is Legolas so creepy? (PM)

Good grief, Legolas looks terrible. It looks like he's spent the time in between LOTR and The Hobbit on some kind of elf rumspringa.  And to be honest, I can see why you'd need to. Living in an elf kingdom where everyone is poised, beautiful and lives forever and the lighting is always really great would have its downside. No one ever tripping and falling in a comical way. What do they laugh at? I bet they never laugh. No one tucking in to a burger and spilling shit all over themselves. I bet they don't even have burgers. Not that you can tell that by looking at 2014 Legolas. But seriously, I prefer this life to the elf life because:
- getting older is definitely better than getting dead, just like J said
- I like burgers.

Ha, look what happens when you search "orlando bloom burger"

That's not a burger, LegLOLas.

I am....(PM)

Me, I have terrible moves, which is why I left the room when Kanye came on.
Normally I would dance anyway. Normally I don't care about my bad moves, I just care about kicking it. But the only reason we were at that party was because I have a mad crush on the host, and though drunk and being lured by that siren Kanye, I was lucid enough to know that dancing my truth on this occasion would be unwise.

But J looked great being SBF.

More like this, if you ask me, but super great.

I am... (AM)

On Saturday night I went to a party with K. K was literally the only person I knew there. Literally! (Well, virtually. A couple of faces were familiar from the past, but let the past be the past, right?) Some people approach life and, therefore, parties with the ol' 'a stranger is just a friend you haven't met' attitude. Me, I'm more of the ol' "a stranger is just a person I don't have to give a shit what they think about me" school, which is a liberating way to go to a party.

I had a good time on Saturday night, not least because I got to do some stupid dancing to Kanye. It wasn't really a dancing party. It was more a stand around and talk party. But then Kanye came on and I happened to be in the right room at the right time. I ate a piece of cheese and that seemed to give me the special power I needed. When 'Golddigger' came on you could not stop me from busting some of my sweetest moves. Now to say I need to be drunk, or among strangers, or high on cheese to dance my ass of would be to tell a lie. I need none of those things. Mainly I need a floor under my feet and ideally, though not necessarily, some music. But when everything aligns right, I become my alter ego.

I am Sacha Baron Fierce.

I know that you must be shocked to learn what I look like in my alter ego form. After all, K and I have been very careful not to show you our faces, but I think it is only fair that you know what I look like when I am possessed by Sacha Baron Fierce. Yes, I am very, very beautiful with brooding Jewish eyes and the sensual lips and jawline of a Nubian princess. Also, when I am Sacha Baron Fierce, I am awesome.

Oh, and I have amaaaaaazing dance moves.

Yes, yes, y'all. You'll be seeing a lot more of Sacha Baron Fierce this summer and I bet you can not wait!

Chinoserie (AM)

A couple of weeks ago, J and I started talking about chinos.

They're kind of cute we noted.

They could work as a spring to summer pant we speculated.

Chinos. I know, right? We agreed.

J got on the front foot and tried some on at Country Road on the weekend. It's spend and save season you see. She sent me a photo from the change room, but they weren't that great. They didn't pass the audition.

Then on Monday, J sent me another photo from another change room. The Alpha60 change room. This one made me sit up and take notice.

This is how it went down. My comments in green, J's in grey.

First, let me say,  J is seriously the best for looking out for me like that.
And though I didn't really think I was going to translate our talk of chinos in to the purchase of chinos, moments after receiving this text message, I found myself in the change room of the Flinders Lane Alpha60 store, in a pair of chinos.

Improved. The last word in that sentence was 'improved'. 

So as you can see, now I own a pair of chinos, which I love very much.
#noregrets

But when I was trying them on with practically everything I own on Monday night, this happened.

Perhaps you can't tell, but basically the eye part of the hook and eye that is their principal fastening mechanism came loose at one end and has ceased to perform its fastening function.
This is not a disaster. I mean, I know how to sew. I can just sew it back up. But that shouldn't really happen on the first night I have them, right?
I am kind of thinking about taking them back. But taking things back is not something I normally do. But loving pair of pants as much as I love these is also not something I normally do either, so call me crazy, call me romantic, call me a sentimental fool  - but I kind of want this to be perfect so I kind of want to take them back.

So what should I do?

It all ends

There is a poster for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 on Punt Rd and every time I drive past it I get so freaking excited about seeing that movie. Every time I see HP staring intensely at Voldemort over that wand I get a little flutter in my tummy!


I love Harry Potter. I love the books, I love the movie, and I love this thing from the Oscars this year. (I also like the JT bit and the T.Laut bit but we all know that 'Tiny ball of light' is the hero of the piece. Because it is funny. And maybe because I love Ron more than I should. He is great though, isn't he? But it's not as if I want to do it with him. I think. I mean, if I had the opportunity I don't think I would. He is barely an adult. Yeah, I'm almost positive I would not do it with him. Yep. Pretty sure. But I would like to unequivocally say I would definitely not do it with T.Laut even though I am 100% Team Wolf.)

But of course my excitement about the film is tempered by regret. I am sure this film is going to be awesome. But then there will be no more Harry Potter movies. IT ALL ENDS 7.15! At least when I read the last book I still had the movies to look forward to. But soon it will all be over. Like all the best things I guess.

When I was in NYC at FAO Schwarz they had quite a Harry Potter section. LB pulled me through it quickly as I protested, "God, I'm not so in love with HP that I want to buy this shiz" (even though I was kind of tempted to buy a Gryffindor tie, but being a grown up with a house full of shit I thought better of it).

Remember when you used to work at the library and bump me up the reservation lists? I remember how you did that for me when Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire first came out. You just bumped me ahead of all those little kids waiting so desperately to read that book. I really appreciate that. I will never forget the day that Cedric Diggory died (in many ways he died the day Robert Pattinson became Sparkleface). I was really sick with the flu. So sick I had to miss that Avalanches gig people still talk about. I was sick in bed and read HP4 all weekend. And when Voldemort returned... and Cedric died... and Harry's parents come out of the wand! Shit, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. Before that book Harry Potter was good, but after that! Well after that it was something else all together.

MAN! I CAN'T WAIT FOR HP7 Part II!!!!!!

A day in Melbs

Dottie's bathroom is fantastic! Is it fantastic? It looks fantastic! With your stories of Dottie and pictures of her house I can really imagine her. She is fleshed out by the many Queens' old ladies I have seen on the TV and in the movies. Thanks Hollywood!

That bathroom reminds me of a bathroom I went to recently. A toilet actually. And it only reminds me of it insofar as it was a place with a toilet and some notable decorations. It was at a cafe though and it was ironic, or whatever, so it was not quite as exciting as Dottie's bathroom. But I was there when I was meant to be on a plane to Adelaide and I'd woken up at 5am or something. So I was in a really weird place and in a really of weird place.



I guess it was really nice of Tyrone to let you ride the bus for free. But what is with the American aversion to change. There is always so much goddamn change floating around, everything cost something dollars and 53 cents, but when you try and make up that cents amounts with cents they look at you like you are some kind of freak show. As a result of this I ended up with so much damn change when I got home.



On the flip side they also freak out when you try to pay with big bills. When I first got to America on my holiday I tried to pay for two coffees (regular size) and two snacks at a Starbucks with a 50 dollar bill. An $8 purchase with a $50 bill. Not so crazy, right? I mean I just needed two 20s and then some in change. But the dude totally flipped out. At motherflipping Starbucks. I mean, surely dude had a few 20s in the till. Not that I want to come down on USA. That place is great. Wish I was there.

Instead I am in Melbourne which is also nice. For example, today I enjoyed a coffee and muffin in a park


and bought some more socks to see me through the winter. Can't complain about that.