Haiku Thursday (PM)

Nature

Nature, you're pretty

Are you seeing anyone?

Is it serious?

If things don't work out,

Call me. You're real special

I'd treat you so good

I once was blind (PM)

The bit where J said  "I really hope my fingers aren't writing cheques my butt can't cash" is, hands down, the best thing about my spring so far. As if the use of the term "wazoo" wasn't good enough.

I'm not even going to write a proper post today* because I don't want to detract from  finger-cheque/butt-cash  in any way.

But I will say that I am so glad that J's brain and spring have found one another, and that they're so into one another she is inspired to write such great things. I think this image, which I found through searching 'spring' and 'love', pretty accurately depicts what's going on here between spring and J's brain. 

It's like Spring is taking J's brain for a walk amongst the cherry blossoms, and spring is all "hey baby, I don't want to put any pressure on you, but I think you'll really like what's down here" and J's brain is all outwardly coquettish, but inside thinking serve it up, let's go. I hope their love is everlasting. 

*I goddamned love the sound of J's kit. 

The present question

I used to be a really good present buyer. I am pretty sure I was really good. Like, I knew what people would like and I would buy it for them and give it to them in a timely fashion. You were probably on the receiveing end once or twice, right mate? Not recently though. I was good at it but then something happened. I lost my mojo. Maybe when my friends started turning 30 or something and there was all this pressure. I don't know, but I just lost it.

Meanwhile, LB has gotten really good at buying presents. For me at least. When we started going out he was not that good. He had some good ideas but he would never have birthday presents for me on my birthday. He would tell me what he was thinking of buying me then make me go shopping with him. It was fine. I am not complaining, just saying.

Anyway, now he is really good. For my birthday this year he got me TWO awesome presents. Two kind of expensive things I really wanted. A couple of days ago for no reason other than he found them at an op shop he came home with two great pots for me. This great Le Creuset frypan.



And this pyrex baby to replace a recent, heartbreaking loss.



Lucky me, right? But it is LB's birthday in a few weeks and I do not know what the eff I am going to get him. Why does he have to be such a great gift giver goddamnit? It is very possible that it is because I covet more stuff so he just has to buy me a thing I covet. He just wants a VW Passat and zodiac boat but my coveting covers a broad, more affordable spectrum. So really I am making it easy for him. God, why can't he just want heaps of stuff, like me?!

Poor guy is right

Ouch!

As I was reading your post this morning I just kept hoping you were wrong. I kept thinking, maybe this guy is writing to his girlfriend. His new HD (that's hot date for those of you that prefer words) perhaps. Just because you (and I) would not really dig on a texter addressing you (or I) as 'sexy' doesn't mean there aren't a bunch of ladies out there who would. Maybe the text recipient likes this guy and whatever he says is ok by her. Especially when he wrote 'save some nights for me', I was encouraged. Because this seemed far to bold for anyone other than a boyfriend or HD. But then when he changed it I was discouraged.

The reply really did say it all. Coffee! Sunday! Pick me up! Can't she get her own way there? Gee, I hope things work out for tram guy.

Poor guy

I catch the #96 tram to work in the mornings, because it is nice and fast and I always get a seat. Sometimes I get out of my seat because a person who is not technically old but probably older than 50 is standing near me, making me feel guilty because they are standing and I am sitting. I never want to vacate my seat for these people and really, they should be flattered I don't think they are old enough to vacate a seat for, but I always do because I can't handle the guilt. Anyway, it was because of this looming guilt that I scampered out of my seat one recent morning, took a spot standing in the doorway and found myself reading over the shoulder of a young man as he composed the following text message:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. Have a great wkend. Its going to be sunny all next week, so save some nights for me!"
Ew! Isn't that gross?!
But it got worse. He edited it to read:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. I'm here for u wnevr u need me. Have a great wkend...etc."

My first thought was keep your PG rated sexting with its nasty abbreviations to yourself guy! But I couldn't look away. Lets break it down, shall we?

Firstly, that he called her 'sexy' makes me think he wants to do it with her. Secondly, that he expressed understanding that she is tired makes me think he has tried to organise a date with her, but she has blown him off. This made me feel a little bad for the guy. He already cut a pretty depressing figure. He looked like someone who might work in a mobile phone store. He wore a diamond earring and had a goatee. His jacket was way too big for him and though I only saw him sitting down, it seemed like he might be a short man. None of it boded terribly well for the guy's chances of doing it with his text recipient.

But the rewrite was really the worst part. "I'm here for u wnevr you need me"!!??. I wanted to lean down and say "No guy, don't do it! Its too much! You sound a little pathetic and there is no way she is going to do it with you then!"

Of course, you can't just say all of this to a stranger on the tram, so I just watched as he sent this terrible text message to the lady he is trying to do it with, knowing it would only make things worse.

After he sent it, I started to think that perhaps I had it all wrong. Maybe she is going through a difficult time, and his saying "i'm here for you" was actually a really nice thing. But I doubt it.

My suspicions were confirmed when he received a reply that read:

"I may have some time on Sunday afternoon. Would you like to pick me up and take me out for coffee then?"
Coffee? Sunday afternoon?
Poor guy.

A fine romance

It's so nice that LB buys you things he knows you will like from op shops. That's a super nice thing to do! It reminds me of something Chambo told me. Apparently she likes a sweet treat at the end of the day (who doesn't?) but doesn't feel she should have them. Most of the time she resists the urge but once in a while she becomes overwhelmed by the need for a sweet treat. On these occasions, she get's a little hysterical and has been known to take it out on her sweetheart, Cez. But rather than take offence, Cez goes to his hiding spot and retrieves one of the sweet treats he has been stockpiling for Chambo. Isn't that nice? Apparently it makes everyone very happy. Chambo, because she gets to eat the sugar, and Cez because he gets to solve the problem.

But yes, I basically agree with everything you said about romance. Its just people being thoughtful and doing nice things for their sweethearts.

Also, I love that you wrote a message to LB in cheese.
Speaking of cheese, tonight KJ and I ate jalapenos stuffed with prawns and cheese. As an appetizer, of course. I'm sorry to say that the cheese didn't really add anything for me, but jalapenos and prawns have a very fine romance indeed.

Romantic schmomantic

Inspired by this interview with Prince William and Kate Middleton that you showed me some weeks ago in which they make multiple claims that he is a real romantic* and the approach of my birthday I've been thinking about this romantic business. I guess I was thinking, what does this even mean, "I'm a real romantic"? You see I was also thinking, I wonder if I will experience this "real romantic" business on my birthday. But I both did and I didn't. Because I'm pretty sure that what Prince William and K.Mid were talking about was just some bullshit.

I mean, LB won't book dinner at a fancy restaurant (except once when I pretty much made him) or give me jewellery (except twice, once when I told him exactly what I wanted and once when the jewellery shop owner he works for sometimes bullied him into taking some earrings for free one Valentines day). But he bought me exactly what I wanted for my birthday.


And whenever he sees something in an op shop he knows I will like he always, ALWAYS buys it for me. Especially when he is interstate, but often just for no reason. Like this one time, he bought me an Eminem biography. And another time a David Bowie biography. David Bowie, now if that isn't romance I don't know what is.

And this other time he bought me this beautiful serving service!


But I bet if we were being interviewed and I said LB is a real romantic and used these examples they would scoff. (Not cool people, losers I mean.)

And why is it always the man that is called a romantic? Why couldn't I be called a romantic.

Once when I was making baked beans for LB, I wrote 'I heart u' in cheese on the top. I bet no Prince has ever done that.


Just cause ol' Princey can afford to take his lady to Africa to propose in some fancy mountain top something (is that even the story? I don't really know) really doesn't make him anymore romantic than anyone else. Sheesh.

*I couldn't be bothered watching the whole thing and only saw them each claim this once. But I'll believe you, K.