Let the robots do the work

When I first heard about those little robot vacuum cleaners that move around your house on their own vacuuming I have to say, I pretty much thought they were bullshit. "Just vacuum!" I thought. "How good a suction can they really have?" I thought. Oh boy. Those are the thoughts I had before I tried one in my own house. I'd seen one in action and it did seem pretty effective but it wasn't until I got one home for a few days on loan that my mind was opened to the miraculous possibilities of life with Roomba. After having one at home for a few days all I could think about was getting one permanently. But the cheapest model Roomba is nearly $600 and we are always talking about buying a Dyson, which  is bigger and seems like a more sensible purchase and costs just a little more than that and AS IF I'M SPENDING 600 DOLLARS ON A VACUUM ROBOT! But oh my god guys, the magic of it. The magic. You tidy up and then instead of vacuuming you just put on Roomba and go tidy in another room. Do you know how good that feels? On the rare occasions I clean the bedrooms it is even rarer that I get to actually vacuum because by the time the cleaning is done I always ALWAYS have to go pick up Baby from school. But with Roomba you just PUT IT ON THEN LEAVE THE HOUSE! Some people, when I rave about Roomba, say "Yeah, but you still have to pick stuff up before you put it on." Yes, but then YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THE VACUUMING! What is wrong with people?!?!

Thank God LB is worse than me with money. A few weeks ago when I was sick in bed and asked him to take the children away he went to Myer where they were having a sale and bought a Roomba. And my life is exactly as good as I knew it would be. Which is to say I still have almost the same amount of boring woes and chores but the house is so much cleaner, the carpet particularly.

Now I'm as nervous about the singularity as the next guy, but sheesh, if it means robot cleaners I guess my fears are in conflict with my desire to do things other than clean and now I'm not exactly how I feel about anything. Exact I'm sure I love Roomba with all my heart.

It's so boring

It is so exciting that the E class team is hitting the #86 route. I far prefer the tram to the train but that D class makes pram-tram travel so unpleasant I've basically given up on the tram. But I'm looking forward to reuniting with, it E-class style! 

Now, I know I promised on Tuesday that I'd get out of the house so that I had something to write about, but in fact for today's post I've only managed to get out of my head, which is in fact what I was really talking about on Tuesday, just in metaphor, so mission accomplished I guess. 

This week I've watched a couple of episodes of The Crown. When I first heard about this series and how Netflix spent really big bucks on it I felt kind of surprised. I mean I love QEII but her life just seemed like a kind of boring premise for a TV series. 

Of course one pleasure of watching it is that QEII, Prince Phillip, everyone is turned into people. Elizabeth is more than just a monochrome dream. I watch documentaries about the Queen and the  running of the palace at every opportunity and although I've seen QEII driving herself around in her Land Rover and Phil tending to his farm I have never really gotten a sense of them as people and so I guess that's why Netflix put so much filthy lucre into this show, we all just want to see that human queenie. But you've got to view biopics as fiction, I always think. Sure the events may be fact but everything else is just someone's interpretation, at best based on someones' memory, but mostly probably on a wish or an idea. So watching The Crown we're all just fooling ourselves. But I'm cool with that. 

But really, I was right. It is kind of boring. And yet I'm thoroughly enjoying watching it. All those long shots of grand rooms, all the outfits which are yet to become monochrome. All the silent meaningful looks from the staid British characters. The show is kind of like QEII - a comforting presence I enjoy despite myself. Long live the Queen.

When food gets boring (AM)

Well it's spring racing time here in Melbourne. A time of frocks, fashion, fascinators and horse death. You can just smell it, can't you? All this means for many of us though is laughing at the scantily clad women in heels you see tottering through some spring storm and of course the much welcome return of public holidays after a 5-month dry spell. 

To celebrate the return of the public holiday, K and I hosted a picnic. By which I mean we agreed to meet in a park at a designated time and told some other people to join us. It was a roaring success. By which I mean people showed up and food and drink were consumed. I filled baguettes, K baked things, including a delicious pumpkin tart about which Stephen Jameson asked "will this make it onto your food blog, Soft Shell Crab?" To which I replied "It's not a food blog." To which he responded "Every time I look it's about food." Well we just really like food, ok. 

So here we are again. The thing that amazes me, as a person that really likes food, is that sometimes figuring out what to eat is the worst. I've said it before, but really I mean day after day that's three meals you've got to figure out. Ugh. 

Breakfast is fine because I love porridge. Most nights I feel so happy to be going to bed because it means my morning porridge is so near. But lunch and dinner... Sure I love those meals but figuring out what I'm going to eat for them really is soooooo boring. I wonder if a way to conquer this problem may be to just have a weekly menu so there is no question. This seems boring too but it would make things easy. Most Sundays I pan fry some flathead, roast potatoes and make a salad for dinner and every week it fucking rules. Every morning my porridge totally rules. I love those things I eat all the time. Maybe I should just be doing more of that.  I feel like I've worked through this issue right here and solved my problem. Thanks guys. Maybe it's because I've been watching a lot of Sex and the City lately and now I feel my posts need to end with some neat wise sentence: Perhaps variety is not the spice of life but well spiced, yet repetitive meals are.

TV's Night of Nights (PM)

Hey, Mate, way to go on doing a Logies round-up! Me, I didn't even know they were on. I watched Don't Mess with the Zohan.

I used to love a red carpet round-up but given that a) I recognise about 5% of the Logies attendees; b) I have a child to look after before I go to work and work to do once I get there; and c) no-one brings it dress-wise anymore I don't bother with that shit. Especially for an event like this where there is no chance of finding a hunk among the pictures.

Plus, I'm pretty sure the highlight is that Brynne Edelsten is wearing a dress that seems to waterfall from her boobs. Way to go Brynne.

TV's Night of Nights (AM)

So did anyone watch TV's night of nights last night?
No, me neither. I tuned in for about five minutes, but you could hardly call what I did in those five minutes 'watching the Logies'. I was really just doing that thing you do when you are mentally ready for bed but your body hasn't caught up yet, so you watch a little of whatever's on tele until you can't take it anymore. During the bit of the Logies I watched, I think Bondi Rescue won an award. Or is it Bondi Vet? Are either of those shows a thing? They both sound plausible to me.

Anyway, it was very very boring five minutes. But it made me realise that any time there is a 'night of nights', a  'morning of online photo galleries' can't be far behind.

And boy was I right. I've spent the last half hour looking at heaps of photos of people I don't recognise trying to look sexy/elegant/grand but really only succeeding at looking boring.
Would you like to see a sample of my favourites? Of course you would.

Here we have a picture of Brooke Satchwell who I'm sure you all remember from Neighbours back in the day, and from being the first woman to indicate that being Matthew Newton's girlfriend might hurt.

This dress is fine I guess. Kind of boring though. But the reason this picture caught my eye was  because of the hilarious caption on the TV Week webbie: "Brooke Satchwell brings a taste of class to the awards night, in this strapless black dress with lace bodice."
A 'taste' of class. Just a little taste and no more. Ha.

Now, look at this hot mess:

It's coral coloured. Coral! Only nail polish and coral can get away with that colour. And that wedge of lace in the skirt. Ew. It's a wedge of gross.

Here is Gold Logie winner Asher Keddie looking like this:

Zzzzz.

Thank goodness for Brynne.

Now there's a woman who really owns the fact that she has no clue. I like that about her.

Here is a woman called Kylie Gillies who apparently currently co-hosts The Morning Show with Larry Emdur.

My interest in her is that she looks so much like Celine Dion. Nothing more. 

Here is a woman who's name I forgot to jot down. Her dress is so far so boring until you get to the bottom and WOW!

You realise she's bringing sexy pretzel tail back. 

Finally, here is a woman who I think might be trying to look like Kristen Wiig from the Oscars in 2012:

Leave it to the Wiigster, sister.