Cats are naturally pretty curious and alive (AM)

You know I love learning stuff on Wikipedia in the name of research for Miss Soft Crab, which is why I read a little about the expression "curiosity killed the cat" last night. Turned out that Wikipedia page is pretty boring. I was reading it because I was thinking about what a stupid expression it was. I mean maybe curiosity can lead to dangerous things, but also it leads to scientific discovery and basically every discovery that isn't stumbled upon by accident. Basically accident and curiosity is how you make discoveries, right? And discovery is important, right!? And often rad, right?! Ipso facto, curiosity is great!

I discovered a great podcast last week due to my curiosity. On reflection it is possible that Blizzie told me about this podcast months ago but apparently the name Mystery Show was too hard to remember so I had to wait 6 months until my curiousity about the appearance of Starlee Kine overwhelmed me right at the time when I had a spare minute to ask my phone to do an image search.

Starlee Kine produced one of the first ever stories I ever heard on This American Life, the story about breakups where she interviewed Phil Collins. It was a great story, I wrote about it here in fact and it remains one of my favourite TAL stories of all time. Anyhow, there I was listening to This American Life the other day and enjoying a story by Starlee Kine and I wondered, 'I wonder what she looks like." Of course I have pictured her in my head, you gotta, right? She has this babyish voice so I imagined her small and with bobbed brown hair, so I Google Image searched her. It's all so easy. She looked kind of different to what I imagined, but they always do. But half way down a Google page full of Starlee Kine images Jake Gyllenhaal started appearing. 'Allo, 'allo, 'allo, what's all this then? I thought to myself. So naturally I clicked on one of the pictures, I mean, I had a couple of spare minutes on my hands, why wouldn't I spend one of them looking at Gyllenhaal? That first picture was accompanied by a heading that said something like, 'Is Jake Gylenhaal the best phone call maker in the world?' Well of course I needed to know more so I clicked the link and learned that Starlee Kine had her own podcast called The Mystery Show where she tries to solve mysteries, one of which is how tall is Jake Gyllenhaal. Naturally I listened to it right away and enjoyed it on so many levels. First, it was very funny and entertaining, second it was about Gyllenhaal. So I guess I enjoyed it on two levels. But then I listened to all the other episodes and they were great.

I'd say Starlee Kine is pretty curious and also pretty great at her job and I for one am super happy I was so curious about what she looked like the other day.

I wanna dance! (AM)

So I guess it’s time I told you guys that 3 weeks ago I started doing ballet classes. Yes, adult beginner ballet.

When I decided to try ballet it was for a bunch of reasons. Exercise, to try something new – challenge myself, you know? – to gain some poise and grace. But have no illusions, friends, starting ballet does nothing for a beginner but make you feel at best clumsy and at worst ridiculous. Strike that, reverse it, at least ridiculous is funny. Clumsy is just awkward. 

I should have known really, based on when I first bought the ballet outfit. Yes, for beginner ballet you must wear a leotard, tights and ballet slippers. I’d be lying if I said that in fact wasn’t a little bit of the appeal. When I got my ensemble home and tried it on I felt immediately more graceful, all that tight lycra sucking in all my bumps and lumps. It wasn’t unlike the first time I wore Skins. But then I looked at myself in the mirror and that was completely unlike the first time I wore Skins, which actually do make you look pretty good. It turns out that pale pink ballet tights and flats with a leotard make me look like a pudgy 5-year-old girl. And I guess that is basically the ballet experience in a nutshell.  

That first lesson kind of went like this: “Ok class, to begin feet – first position, second position, fourth and fifth. Now arms, first, second, third, fifth. This is a plié, demi plié. Rond de jambe. To the front,  side, derrier. Point de this, point de that, combination, combination, port de bras, five, six, seven, eight.” 90 minutes later and FIN and me thinking what the fuck just happened?

Subsequent lessons seemed to go a little slower and I could follow the combinations slightly better. Though I still don't know my tendu from my fondu. I also learned to appreciate the fact that all the music is just piano versions of pop and musical songs. Feel free to picture me jumping  around to the theme from the Muppets and calling it ballet, because that is an actual thing that happens. And  when a slow piano rendition of “Don’t you want me baby?” started playing I really started to feel like I was in A Chorus Line* and I just keep thinking how great it would be to practice pliés to “One” one day.

Finally of course every time my arms are in second position I get to thing about Partick Swayze telling Baby off for her spaghetti arms. 

So do I even need to tell you that I I love ballet?!

*I know that song isn't from A Chorus Line, it's just the vibe of it. 

Haiku Thursday (AM)

The grooming journey continues

I

Hey, yo, concealer

Where have you been all my life

Got me lookin' good

II

Perhaps your special

Age defying qualities

Make the timing right