Let the robots do the work

When I first heard about those little robot vacuum cleaners that move around your house on their own vacuuming I have to say, I pretty much thought they were bullshit. "Just vacuum!" I thought. "How good a suction can they really have?" I thought. Oh boy. Those are the thoughts I had before I tried one in my own house. I'd seen one in action and it did seem pretty effective but it wasn't until I got one home for a few days on loan that my mind was opened to the miraculous possibilities of life with Roomba. After having one at home for a few days all I could think about was getting one permanently. But the cheapest model Roomba is nearly $600 and we are always talking about buying a Dyson, which  is bigger and seems like a more sensible purchase and costs just a little more than that and AS IF I'M SPENDING 600 DOLLARS ON A VACUUM ROBOT! But oh my god guys, the magic of it. The magic. You tidy up and then instead of vacuuming you just put on Roomba and go tidy in another room. Do you know how good that feels? On the rare occasions I clean the bedrooms it is even rarer that I get to actually vacuum because by the time the cleaning is done I always ALWAYS have to go pick up Baby from school. But with Roomba you just PUT IT ON THEN LEAVE THE HOUSE! Some people, when I rave about Roomba, say "Yeah, but you still have to pick stuff up before you put it on." Yes, but then YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THE VACUUMING! What is wrong with people?!?!

Thank God LB is worse than me with money. A few weeks ago when I was sick in bed and asked him to take the children away he went to Myer where they were having a sale and bought a Roomba. And my life is exactly as good as I knew it would be. Which is to say I still have almost the same amount of boring woes and chores but the house is so much cleaner, the carpet particularly.

Now I'm as nervous about the singularity as the next guy, but sheesh, if it means robot cleaners I guess my fears are in conflict with my desire to do things other than clean and now I'm not exactly how I feel about anything. Exact I'm sure I love Roomba with all my heart.

New questions (AM)

I guess you think you know me pretty well after all these years. And you probably do. I love autumn and spring, I think of little aside from what I'm going to wear, what I should do with my hair and where have all the good hunks gone. If that is how you see me you have a pretty accurate picture. But lately something else has been creeping in and has taken a hold of my mind almost as strongly as my hair. It's the question of getting a cleaner. This is a conversation I have with various people at least once a week and if I'm going to be honest with you it's time you knew.

Until about a year ago I thought that getting a cleaner was something reserved for people that have really made it. Once you have the disposable income to spend on a cleaner you really have to be sitting pretty. But as Newbie grew into the kind of toddler that pulls everything from a shelf and then drops it one metre away the cleaning demanded for my house pretty much got beyond me. Now, I'm not saying it's his fault. No way. I'm just saying that keeping up with all the stuff he pulls off the shelf on top of washing clothes for four people, cleaning the kitchen after two or three meals a day and just general clean-keeping is really hard. Just keeping the house in a pleasant state is hard enough but how do you do things like clean the bathroom, do the gardening, dust the records? (Not a rhetorical question, seriously, how?!)

And I'm not saying I'm special, I talk to people with one child or no children and everyone is wondering the same thing, "Can I justify a cleaner"? I felt pretty inspired the other day when I was visiting a friend who lives with her 5-year-old son in a tiny one-bedroom bungalow and she told me that about once a month she gets a cleaner to come in and just give the place a really good once-over. I think this may be the answer for me but why haven't I done it. What is holding me back? Do I hate myself? Why can't I let myself be happy?!

If you need a more classic Miss Soft Crab conundrum here you go:

Do you think I should buy this jumpsuit? I kind of love it but perhaps I'm having a 4/10-life crisis.