Cold comfort (PM)

Travelling + babies + baggage = a total effing drag. That is for sure. When I am travelling I try to only pack in carry-on size bags but even then, if I have the option of check-in, I will check in my carry-on just so I can be as far from my bags as possible for as long as possible. It may mean I have to wait at the other end but I don't even care.

Also, I put off unpacking for as long as possible. I hate it. I love the bit where you pull out the new stuff you bought but I hate the bit where you have to do heaps of washing or stuff your clean clothes into already overstuffed cupboards. I hate that bit. So in many ways I'm all over what K was talking about this morning. But on the other hand I am totally at odds with it.

For one, why did K have to lug all the stuff and baby across town to meet Appleheart at the car hire place? Why couldn't he get the car and pick her up? That would never happen in my household. Not because I would refuse to do such a thing (though I would voice my objections) but as much because when your boyfriend comes from the driviest family in Australia he will just make it so he can pick you up. (Don't get me wrong, he would just pick me up from anywhere. Oh no, there needs to be a good reason but bags and babies and cleaning would be reason enough.) I know K and Appleheart would have had their reasons and I hope to god those reasons never force me to cross town in the freezing cold with all that stuff.

Second, pilling. I hate it. And I hate cleaning pill balls. Maybe it would be ok if I had a lint shaver, but manually, I just find it so thankless. I feel that no matter how many balls I pick off there are still a million more to go. Just thinking about 6 hours of pill-picking is making my fingers feel irritated. Ugh.

Wow, I guess it's our differences that make the world go round, right?

An open letter to drivers (PS/PM)

Oh, Drivers.

It’s complicated, isn’t it? Like, it is great how you let people merge in front of you sometimes and go quickly through a green arrow light sometimes so more people can get through. But sometimes you don’t do those things. And sometimes you crowd a keep clear zone so people can’t get through like they should be able to. And I’ll be honest, I’m not perfect. I’ve probably done some of those things from time to time. But I’m trying not to. Really. I mean, that is what relationships are about, you know? Compromise. And having a good time. But do we even have that any more, Drivers?

Tell you something else, Drivers. I drive down K’s street sometimes. You know when? When I’m visiting her. Or picking her up. Or dropping her off. You know when else I do it? NEVER! ‘Cause it is too effing narrow to waste my time with that shit! But enough of that. This isn’t about the he said, she said bullshit. It’s about trying to right wrongs, you know? I mean, if you do live in that street you may well have driven past me doing a 300-point turn in the driveway across the road from K’s because she is so close to the end I always need to get back to and there is no way I’m driving down the length of that mother effing street just to end up further from home and on Sydney Road. So I do my several-point turn, sometimes hold up traffic. Have you cursed me? Perhaps. Thanks for your patience, though. I really appreciate it! But if you don’t live in that street and curse me as you wait till I can finally clear that driveway, safe from damaging cars and death, if you are using that street as something to drive down to get from A to B when neither A nor B are on that street, well, well ... pretty fucking please with a cherry on top, drive down another street.

Thanks
Love
J

An open letter to drivers (AM)

Dear drivers,
I would like to begin by saying that I really enjoy sharing the road with you. So often you let me in to your lane when you really don't have to. So often, when facing a right-hand turning arrow, you are quick off the mark when the lights change, so I can go through after you. So often you exit parking spaces just when I want to be entering them. Most of the time you are pleasure to drive alongside, you really are, and I just want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you've done for me.
But, to those of you who drive down my street, the narrowest street in all of the 3056, a street where there is insufficient room for two cars travelling in opposite directions to pass one another safely thereby requiring one of us to yield in an game of chicken that no one knows they are playing or how to play it,  a street that runs between Sydney Road and Lygon Street and therefore seems like a good idea to drive down but in fact is a street that is two-way in name only, I have a message especially for you. If you are not driving down my street because you either live on my street (hello neighbour!) or have business on my street (such as you are visiting the gym Fit Rig aka the rape gym), then stop fucking driving down my fucking street.
There is a thin asphalt line on my street that runs between order and total fucking anarchy, and every time you drive down my street you punch a hole in that line. I live on my street. I have to be there. But not you. Not you guys. So stay the fuck off my street, pretty fucking please with a cherry on top.
Love,
K

Maybe I will see that movie!

Unlike you I had no interest in seeing the Senna movie.

I admit that I don’t believe in preternaturally good car driving. I mean everyone can drive a car. I don’t really believe in it as a sport. Or a thing. And if Senna was so good, mate, why did he die while driving?!

I just feel like there are some holes in what you are saying.

But, I do very much believe in hunks, so perhaps I need to see the movie to find out the truth.

Nightmare experiences

It's funny you should be writing about nightmare experiences when I am having one of my own right now!
I am sitting in the back seat coming down the mountain and I have such car sickness! I am trying not to vomit while also trying to distract Baby who I think must also feel spewy judging by his cries.
Must go before I vom all over iPhone.