#creepysexyforlife

When Miss Soft Crab went to see Prince play a couple of weeks ago we discussed a little phenomenon we like to call creepy sexy. We tried to figure out why, how, at 54, Prince can not just be so totally awesome, but somehow really attractive. Yes, he writes what is arguably some of the best music of all time. No denying that. And that is a huge part of the appeal, but does that keep others going? Usually no. But what if a guy is creepy sexy? Well that is something else altogether. How can age take away what was never about youth and beauty in the first place? It can't! CREEPYSEXY! If a man is so overtly sexual it would usually be sickeningly repulsive, but somehow is hot, can anyone take that away? NO! CREEPYSEXY!

J: So mate, I think it's time we talked about creepy sexy. I did see Prince again last night, after all.

K:  You're right, it's time. OK, lets workshop this. Mate, what do we mean by creepy sexy.

J:  Great question. I guess it means someone who is kind of overtly sexual in a creepy, yet somehow awesome way. Not just someone is both a hunk but also a bit creepy (see: Christian Bale, Casey Affleck).

K:  Yes, creepy sexy is more than just a hunk who is a little creepy. In fact, creepy sexy people typically aren't hunks.That's what's so surprising about them.

J:  Exactly. Like, for example Prince. Look I'm just going to come out and say it. I want to talk about Prince a lot, but I'm happy to talk about other people too. OK, so Prince, now he is not your typical hunk. And usually I would find overt sexuality pretty repulsive but Prince is so creepily overt it is kind of irresistible.

K:  Seeing Prince has brought this creepy sexy issue to the fore for me too. Here are some feelings I have been feeling since seeing him: Revulsion. Desire. Admiration. Phwoar.

J:  YES! YES! I feel exactly the same. But actually, when it comes to revulsion I mostly think that is something I should feel but absolutely do not.

K:  Mate, is Prince in your top ten?

J:  Kind of. Like, in a way he is the number one. ICHI BAN! But not in a real way. It's hard to explain. He is so awesome. Like a beautiful angel. But mate, we are getting off topic. We are talking creepy sexy. Not top 10. Do you want to tell the people who else you think is creepy sexy?

K:  Sure, I'll tell the people who else is creepy sexy. I think Bonnie Prince Billy is creepy sexy. He is extremely, extremely sexual and creepual. Don't you think?

J:  Let's see what the readers think?

  

Is this man creepy sexy?

K:  Oh come on mate. Now I look like the creepy one.

J:  Yeah, that wasn't fair. This is what he normally looks like:

He's creepy something

 K:  Oh for goodness sake. Stop it at once! 

Look, I know J doesn't agree with me on this one, but BPB walks a similar path to Prince. He makes super great music. That music is overtly sexual. On paper, he shouldn't be attractive at all but he is, readers. He is! 

Just like Prince!

J:  OK, here is a picture of BPB singing his very beautiful music:

 

And it is true, his music is awesome and it is overtly sexual, and far from making it and him repulsive it makes them both attractive. I guess the problem is, for me, next to Prince, nothing compares.

K:  Well yes, there is that. But like you said, this chat is about creepy sexy, not just Prince, and we owe it to all the other creepy sexy babies out there to give them some time to shine. 

OK, this next one is going to do nothing to dissuade the readers from thinking that I am indeed creepy. But I have to say what I feel, and I feel that this man is creepy sexy.

J:  Look... Gee... Um... Look... 

I am not going to get into a debate about the attractiveness of RdN but, creepy sexy? You are right, this definitely says more about you then him. Go on defend it.

  

K:  Well, OK, sure, I will do that. I  mean, I could if I wanted to. Any time. Easily! I just don't feel like it right now. 

Jokies! You really must see Godfather part 2 to understand creepy sexy RdN.

K:  Now cop a look at that, would you? Obviously he is a handsome devil. But when I first saw him, around the Cape Fear era, he was less handsome and just more out and out compelling. Like you know you should be repelled or something, but you're not mate. You're not.

J:  Sure. I understand what you are saying. Creepy compelling sexy. I can dig it. And definitely I would say de Niro has that.

Look I think that Bobby and Bonnie both have special creepy hotness, but for me they are not in the same category as Prince. And I don't just mean he is so far above them (though I think that too). What I mean is that they actually inhabit different categories of special hunk.

K:  Interesting. Go on.

J:  So either a) creepy sexy means different things to you and me; or b) you crazy girlfriend!

K:  Both are possible. Is there anyone else you think is creepy sexy?

J:  Ummmmm. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Well....

  

K:  Mate, is this post not really about creepy sexy at all?

J:  Shit!

Shit. I thought it was. I thought it was about creepy sexy. But it's just about Prince. I love him. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K:  Shit mate, you really love him. It's cool.You wanna show the readers some more pictures?

J:  I thought you'd never ask!

But seriously folks. I want to say one more thing about why Prince is so awesome. Two. Two things.

Have you seen the way he dances? HOT

K:  You're right. it's really hot.

  

J:  Also, he always seems to be having such an awesome time. And everything is kind of a joke. He is not earnest about all that sexuality. HOT!

K:  Totally good point. Dude is always having a great time. And  that's something that you certainly can't say about BPB and RdN. Creepy sexy though they are.

J:  Exactly! (To the first point, second point remains unconfirmed.) And that is why Prince is KING OF CREEPY SEXY! #creepysexyforlife

Beware The Ides of March (PM)

Oh, The Gos. I thought it might come to this.

The first time I saw The Notebook I was on a plane going somewhere far away. And LB was in Australia. Needless to say I pretty much fell in love with The Gos. Then I saw Lars and the Real Girl. And I still loved him, he is totally adorable in it. But then everyone was always going so nuts for him and though he is undoubtedly pretty, his features are quite small but he has that large jaw, and so I became conflicted. (Now, readers you should know something about me. When people are going apeshit for a person it puts me off them. I don’t want to be this shallow but I am. I can’t help it. There was a point once when, because everyone was always going on about how great Robert De Niro is, I would chose Joe Pesci over De Niro when they were pitted against each other in ‘Would you rather’! I know! I see the error of my ways now.)

Anyways, I went off the Gos. But friends, things change. You remember how K and I felt about the Oscar coverage, right? You thought you saw our whole conversation? You didn’t. After the coverage ended my phone went flat and we switched to Facebook chat. Here is an excerpt of our conversation:

K: Speaking of hot youth, would Joey Gordon Levitt make it in to a top 20?

J: Oh, yeah, top 20 for sure I think. Twenty is a lot of people

K: Jake Gyllenhaal

J: Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Even though where the eff is he???

K: Where was Jake tonight? Worthington! Where was Worthington?

J: Worthington!!! YES! Where was he?? Even Gosling would have been something!

K: I have a halfie for Gosling, I wouldn't have minded a little Gos at all.

J: I have a quarty for the Gos

K: Hahahaha

J: I know now I am hysterical. I think it's the lack of hunks that made me this way

K: HAHAHAHAH

J: #laughorcry

And then a couple of weeks later I had a (g-rated) dream about The Gos. I think in the dream we worked together or something, but I’m pretty sure he was totally crushing on me. Well, I think we all know who is on the verge of joining the top 20 list. Shit.

Thank god for YouTube (PM)

Oh geez. Sorry Google ruined your morning post. But great that it created an opportunity for us to watch the de Niro meets Elmo you tube.
#winnereverytime


My day got off to a similarly annoying start.
Look what I had to sit opposite on the tram this morning.

Unbefuckinglievable.
But on the plus side, I am getting better at surreptitiously taking photos of people on the tram.
And there is also this. What a pack of cuties!

Thank God for YouTube (AM)

You know when you write a really long detailed email to someone about what you've been doing and how you've been feeling and then you get near the end and the whole thing somehow disappears never to return and you feel cheated, robbed, angry, sad? That just happened to me. I wrote a post and then I went to change something on my iPhone and the whole damn thing disappeared. I blame Google for having such a stupid phone unfriendly blog publishing site. Look around Google, people need to blog on their phones! Sort your shit out.

Anyway, so that I don't cry about I think we should all watch this delightful, amusing, wholesome video. It's Monday morning after all, probably everyone needs this to an extent.

Martin Scorsese: an inspiration (PM)

I totally agree with this formula for a lifetime of achievement, but I think longevity should be added to the equation, just so there is more lifetime to pack achievements in to. Not that anyone plans for a short life or anything, but it can't hurt to acknowledge this.

And to you, Martin Scorsese, I say congratulations on your lifetime of achievements! J (and BAFTA) are right, you are really rad. You have made a bunch of my favourite movies and totally had an influence on my life. For example, I can't look at a clove of garlic without thinking about that scene in Goodfellas where they are making pasta in prison and one of the guys is slicing the garlic super thin. You are also most definitely the reason I love Robert De Niro. And not just as an actor, if you catch my drift Martin Scorsese. I also think that you have something to do with the reason I love canoli so much, though I can't put my finger on how exactly how you have influenced that particular predilection.
Way to go for being so awesome and inspirational.

Love from K.