Get out

I have got to get out more. Last night I got a pocket call from Dad's phone clearly made by my mum but the phone obviously was not in her pocket because she left a voicemail in which I could extremely clearly hear both sides of a conversation between her and K's mum that they must have been having on Mum's phone.

I only listened for a few seconds of course. Obviously it was a mistake and although the conversation was only about them trying to arrange a meeting it did feel a little weird and pervy listening. There was something a little David Lynch about the experience. Like how could Mum accidentally call me when she must have been just sitting around at home and the offending phone clearly wasn't in a pocket? How do you even do a pocket dial from an iPhone that requires a passcode? And why could I clearly hear both sides of the conversation when I know my  mum wouldn't use speaker phone, I believe her hearing makes it unfavourable. Then whole thing is so mysterious I started writing a blog post about it this morning until I realised that it was also so boring. It may seem Lynchian to me but in truth i know it was just an accident. No dwarf conspiring to creep me out here. But life is pretty small when you have a tiny baby and I can't keep on writing about the US election. And I really didn't want to bore you with complaints of a back so sore it even hurts to sneeze.

And so I make this pledge to you, readers, I'm going to get out! See the world! Have something interesting to say! And I'm going to do it by Thursday! And then regularly! As long as my back gets better!

Challenges (PM)

Ugh, Newbie loves my phone too. I feel like its a sign to me that I should look at iPhone less, you know just put it away and spend quality time with my baby or doing something productive and I try to do that but then I hear it's siren song message alert singing to me or I really need to check the weather and one thing leads to another and there I am just looking at it for no good reason till Newbie says, "I want to look at photo." And that seems harmless enough so he looks at some photos of him and Baby. There's a video he watches of himself as a baby, in the arms of his big brother, Baby. He says, "I like that baby." And then hugs and kisses the phone. It's adorable. Then when I'm not looking he goes to YouTube, chooses a video, usually some kind of mash up of a dancing Spiderman and the song Incy Wincy Spider or an animated video of Kinder Surprise type eggs looking like the characters from Peppa Pig, he expertly presses presses the part of the screen that says 'Press to skip advertisement' and points 'Mummy, mummy!' So delighted he's found such a cinematic masterpiece. Who the eff knows who is making them and why the eff!? Worse are the videos of young children dressed up and doing weird character things or toy demonstrations at the obvious urging of their parents. Or the videos of adults demonstrating a new release toy or popping balloons as they say the colours. Really, what are these people doing with their lives. What are their goals? Why is this happening.

Right, it is definitely time to put iPhone away, for all our sakes.

Challenges (AM)

One of the reasons my posts are so short these days is because KB is obsessed with my iPhone. Whenever I use it when I am around him, which is all the time, he starts reaching for and wildly trying to grab it. It's very difficult to get anything done. We gave him one of our old iPhones as a decoy, but he smelled a rat straight away. Ditto the decoy remote control we gave him so we wouldn't eat the TV remote control. God forbid he ever find the official Harry Potter remote control wand we have. I've hidden it on a very high shelf. 

When you spend 24/7 with a baby, you really need an iPhone. To connect you with the rest of the world through email and social media and all that malarkey. To play podcasts on when you are walking for hours to get them to sleep. To google things like 'early signs of autism/leukaemia/meningitis' whenever they do something weird, like blink rapidly five times in a row. Not being able to use it leaves you in a real jam. I still use it of course, but have to do so covertly. Like, I'll go to the pantry and hide in there to use it. But then I end up eating snacks too. It's not ideal. 

Sometimes I relent and let KB play with it, but he just starts eating it and I am sure that's a bad thing. I played some clips from Sesame Street on it the other day to occupy him while I had a shower. Before I knew it I could hear the game of thrones music and he had somehow found his way to a clip of some behind the scenes documentary. 

Anyway, I'm sure length/quality will improve when I return to work and can wield my iPhone boldly. That's a positive about returning to work! 

(So disinterested in decoy iPhone he's sitting on it while reaching for mine)