Oh life

Do you struggle between the idea that you need to know what's going on in the world but the fact of engaging with the news is so depressing you just want to look away? Sames. 

Do you sometimes think about the things you need to do or want to buy when you have a little more money even though there is no cash flow increase in the foreseeable future? Ugh. I do. 

You know when you plug your phone in to charge in a different room and then you go back a couple of hours later to get it all excited it'll have full charge and then you discover the charger was just sitting next to the power point not actually plugged in? Just did that. So annoying. 

Looks like it's going to have to be a two coffee day today. 

Bad news week (AM)

Happy Monday guys!

It's K's first day back at work I think and I hope it's gonna be great. I have to say, the joys of adult contact and demands on your brain besides what's for dinner and how you can occupy an entire day for you and a baby are great nourishment after maternity leave. Not that spending bulk time with your baby isn't the best, it's just so exciting when you get to diversify.

I had a pretty nice weekend I have to say. My house is super clean, full of flowers, clean sheets on all the beds. I saw friends and family. Made a surprisingly delicious napoli on Saturday night, shakshuka and a French apple cake for my family for Sunday brunch. Before that my kids slept in really late and I got to enjoy coffee and the internet all by myself!  I did heaps of washing. I feel pretty great.

Or I would if the fucking news wasn't so depressing at every turn. Two black men shot by cops for basically no reason in the US. Cops shot in retaliation. And local news isn't any better, babies being sexually assaulted, women being murdered, the existence of Cory Bernadi.

Are you in constant internal conflict about how much you should be engaging with the world. Certainly I don't want to be oblivious to the problems of the world. And yet, I kind of wish I didn't know how fucked it was. Because for me it's not, so I could just go on thinking about French apple cake and forgetting all the bad stuff. But then I'd just be an ignorant douche bag. There's the rub, the old catch 22. God, it's so hard being white and privileged!

Maybe it's just hormonal. A few weeks ago I realised that every night I was going to bed with a smile on my face. Like I just love the comfort of bed and sleep so much that was all it took to make me happy and it's not like the world was any better then, surely. So what's happened. Maybe it's my attitude. Or maybe the world was just going on in its usual fucked up way but without so many terrible things in the news? 

Maybe I just need to take a leaf out of Kimmy Schmidt's book, that positive outlook and denial of the bad. It's like she says, "I don't wanna get pissed off, so I get pissed on!" Maybe I just need to look at the world like that?!