Calling bullshit (PM)

I've never really understood pasta salad, which has always struck me, as you say Mate, as just a big bowl of cold pasta. I've never chosen it from a BBQ table because if I'm going to eat cold pasta I'll eat leftovers straight out of the fridge while no one is watching, thank you very much. However, I used to work just doors down from one of those very cafés K described, the kind that exists purely to service nearby workers. Office workers, tradies. The kind of place that has sweet treats wrapped in glad wrap. Sometimes I'd get a sandwich there. Sometimes I'd get a mix of salads. Mainly tabouli and Greek but I'd let them chuck in a bit of pasta salad too because I like to have carbs in my meals and it had a nice tangy dressing and when the whole thing was slathered in Tabasco it was pretty delicious. Having said that though I don't for a minute think that pasta salad is anything other than a bowl of cold pasta. Then again I don't really give a shit. I'm not precious about salad and I'm not precious about carbs. Hell no I'm not.

Moreover that poor woman in your meeting, Matey, would probably have preferred to be eating her cold pasta out of the fridge with no one watching too but some jerk scheduled a lunchtime meeting, let her keep a little dignity and call her lunch a salad. 

I guess my feeling is call it anything you want just don't call me late for dinner, as my dad used to say. 

Calling bullshit (AM)

Today, I'd like to call bullshit on something that presents itself as one thing, but really really isn't that thing.

Friends, I want to talk about pasta salad.
Pasta salad is something that has been around for a long time. It never really had a moment, like quinoa had a moment, or kale is having a moment. It has just always been around. Having said that, I think it was more prevalent in the days before the world went food mad, when it had a place at pretty much every BBQ table. These days, you only really find it at BBQs  where multiple generations are present. People of our generation probably wouldn't make a pasta salad unless it was an Ottolenghi recipe and had that tiny pasta in it called orzo or something like that.
But it remains a presence at a certain type of BBQ, the kind where our parents are present. And, in a certain kind of CBD cafe where they service a broad clientele and have a huge range of menu items including salads that are meant to be a healthy alternative to things like, I don't know, toasted pides or pies or something. Pasta salad is a total staple of this kind of place and I've never questioned it. Heck, i've even considered eating it for lunch when it looks fresh and green and herby, maybe with a a little pesto and chilli and maybe some toasted pine nuts on top. I never get it, but I have often considered it. The other day, however, it hit me that pasta salad is kind of a bunch of bullshit.  I was in a meeting that was scheduled for 1pm. One woman showed up and said "I hope you don't mind if I eat my salad during this meeting". The meeting was at 1pm. Lunchtime. No one minded.
But of course it was pasta salad she was eating, not leafy salad, which is absolutely her prerogative. But as I watched her tuck into it I thought lady, you are not eating 'salad', you are eating a cold bowl of pasta, and anyone who thinks that by eating it they're having a healthy option is kidding themselves.
Now don't get me wrong, I am open to a wide range of salads comprised of a wide range of things, not just leafy things. I know that the church of salad is a broad church, and that's a wonderful thing. But pasta salad is typically made up primarily of pasta, with a few other ingredients that provide the colour and movement and flavour. Much like pasta sauce on pasta. Which is to say, pasta salad is basically a cold bowl of pasta. I don't know how it found its way into the light and healthy lunch options category, because it totally isn't. Maybe Big Carbohydrate had something to do with it. But I can finally see pasta for what it is and I'm calling bullshit on it.