Just a Tuesday post (PM)

Hey! That is so weird.Yesterday was the day that it really dawned on me that Tony Abbott will be the next Prime Minister. But because Miss Soft Crab is not a political blog all I will say on that point is: gross me the fuck out.

TV sucks. That is for sure. But last night in my brief TV watching period all I saw was Mad Men.Although I have watched a little Mad Men last night it really dawned on me how fucking great it is and how I should really watch it in earnest.

Don't mind if I do.

Hunk of the Month Club - Jon Hamm

 

Last week my mum emailed us to nominate Jon Hamm for Hunk of the Month Club. Unlike that time L-Bomb suggested David Duchovny, we gave this one some actual consideration. I mean, we really like this guy. And what do you know, lookey who we have here.

Jon Hamm is 41 and, according to Wikipedia, became an actor after visiting his buddy Paul Rudd in Hollywood. While trying to get acting roles he worked as a set designer on softcore porn films. Ladies and gentelmen, Jon Hamm.

J: Jon Hamm. He's handsome, he seems to have an adorable doofusy side, and he plays, without a doubt, the biggest hunk on television. Welcome! to our newest  Hunk of the Month, the Hammster!

Mate, obviously the Hammster can't join us today, why don't you give us your thoughts on the latest addition to HotMC.

K: Sure Mate, I can do that.

My thoughts on the Hammster are simple. He has a very pretty face and everyone loves a pretty face. But a HotMc needs more than just a pretty face (depending on how we are feeling at the precise time we choose a HotMC) and I'm not sure if Hamm has it. Until he becomes Don Draper, and then he becomes bona fide HotMC team captain.

J: Well Don Draper is no doubt a hunk, a HotMC even, but team captain? One of the crazy things about Don Draper, and keep in mind I have only watched half of season one of Mad Men, is that he is a hands down hunk and a hands down a-hole. I'm pretty sure that only in fiction does a cheating, misogynist pretty face become a HotMC. He does have that mystery, and that devil-may-care attitude to smoking cigarettes. HOT.

K: I have a little more Mad Men under my belt and I'd like to say that Don becomes a better person and therefore a more appropriate choice for HotMC but no, he really doesn't. He kind  of gets worse. But he stays pretty. And hot. Less mysterious. But still hot. It must be the durries!

J: Also Don is always so well groomed. And you certainly do not see that every day. Hot! I think the Hammster could be a genuine HotMC if he took a leaf out of Don Draper's Book of Grooming. Not that Hammster doesn't scrub up as his own self.

K: That's absolutely true, Hamm would be wise to take some grooming cues from Don. All dudes really. Heck, I could learn a thing or two from Don.

But yes, Hamm as Hamm is still pretty pretty. 

I feel that I should acknowledge that unlike his HotMC alumni, Hamm is perhaps not a super versatile hunk. Sure, he broods well, but does he look as pretty when he smiles?

I'm not sure. 

J: Oh, look, Hamm can look real nice smiling but it's true it's the kind of smile that makes you think 'That's a nice looking man' rather than 'Phwoarrrrrr!' Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Also, you gotta respect that he has been with his lady for more than 10 years even though he found fame and become recognised as a hunk worldwide during that time.

K: Yeah, way to go Hammster. Don Draper may be (somehow) prettier than Hamm, but there is no way he could do that.

I also like how this clip indicates he is a bit of a spazz.

J: I definitely think that Jon Hamm must be a bit of a spazz. Other than his pretty face it's my favourite thing about him. It's what elevates him above just a handsome man. 30 Rock, Bridesmaids, the random funny shit I have seen him in on the internet. Dude seems quite spazz. And that is one of man's hottest attributes. Another good attribute can be a beard.

'

K: Spazz is really very hot. More dudes need to understand that. So basically, the Hammster is a well groomed, slightly broody (as Don Draper), slightly goofy ( as Jon Hamm) handsome guy. 

Hello, Mr November.

Jon Hamm, if you asked me you just made it into HotMC by the skin of your teeth. But, K, well she's got the fever, she emailed me yesterday with this: "The dude really quite hot." Yeah, she got the fever.

Hells yeah its Haiku Thursday!

Reflections on The Gruen Transfer

I

Hi Wil Anderson

You used to really shit me

Now, not so much. Win!

II

Look, for sure the show's

Interesting. But also,

Kind of annoying. 

III

I guess the thing is

You guys just aren't Don Draper.

Right there, is your prob.

IV

That's right. Don Draper.

Your face won't quit, will it Don?

Here it comes guys. Phwoar.

You absolutely do not have to ask me twice to consider more hunks

People are way too dependent on Google. You think Google is going to find your missing finger, guy? Google doesn't have all the answers. It has a lot of answers but not all the answers.

But I digress. Why talk about finger loss when we can talk about hunks? Right? Am I right?
It's true, Ewan is very special. I am not denying that. But the world is full of hunks. Why is everyone (that finds their way here) Googling Ewan?
But also, and I mean no disrespect, how many Google pages are you clicking through to get here? Seriously?! Out of curiosity I once googled Ewan to see how many pages of Google you had to click through to get to Miss Soft Crab and I had to stop searching before I found it. And I clicked through a bunch of Google pages. There is a lot of Ewan content out there. People Googling Ewan have far too much time in their hands if they are finding themselves here. Welcome, by the way!

And mate, you are right! They should be giving some of that time to Marky Mark! Colin! The Hammster!

For your consideration: hunks other than Ewan McGregor

Did you know that the most frequently used search terms that lead people to Miss Soft Crab are "Ewan McGregor" and "Ewan McGregor, Trainspotting"?

It's true.
Day after day it is always the same. Occasionally there are additional terms, like "african violet propagation" and "barry hall's girlfriend", and the other day one of the most popular terms was "my missing finger". My missing finger!? MY missing finger? What are you looking on the internet for, you should be looking on the end of your hand!
But seriously, it is the search for Ewan that most consistently sends people our way, and let me now say to those people: welcome to Miss Soft Crab, you are well and truly amongst friends here.

I do, however, feel it is my duty to tell you that while I fully understand your interest in Ewan, perhaps you might like to take the time to consider some of the other hunks we have on offer.

Consider Colin.

Meander through our musings on Marky Mark.

Delight in Don.

There is a whole world to explore readers, you should look around and see what you like before you tie yourselves down.

Just saying.

Goodbye snow, hello shame

Thanks for sharing your snow learnings, J.

It made me think about what the snow has taught me. I think the main thing I have learnt is that shimmying down the mountain for a few days is fantastic, but then it's really time to go home. I get sick of wearing so many layers, and the fact that all the indoor places smell a little bit like wet dog. So that's what I have learnt from snow.

But I've also learnt something else today.

This morning I accidentally clicked on a link that actually wasn't a link at all, but was a virus. My computer totally lost it. It went black and stopped doing all the things computers do. I called the IT guy and told him what had happened. He told me that black screen is very bad and he would have to rebuild my computer from scratch.

"Please try your hardest to keep everything from the desktop!" I pleaded.

"There is a lot of really important stuff on there that I really need!!".

I was referring to all of the work I had been doing for the last couple of weeks and had saved on the desktop because sometimes, I just don't feel like digging around the network for the right spot to save stuff. Losing all of that work would be terrible! IT guy needed to save it!

He assured me that he would definitely be able to save everything, so I trotted off feeling very relieved.

It was much later that I remembered my desktop also housed a folder containing all of the pictures of Ewan McGregor and Don Draper that I have ever posted on Miss Soft Crab. ALL OF THEM! That amounts to quite a lot of photos of hunks that I am keeping in a folder on my desktop.

Of course, the IT people couldn't retrieve the work I had done without also retrieving the folder with the pictures of the hunks. And by the time I realised, the damage would have been well and truly done. I'm pretty sure they thought it was the pictures of the hunks I was referring to when I said the stuff on my desktop was "really important stuff that I really need!" because there was a lot more smirking than usual when I went to retrieve the computer. Damn those nerds!

Anyway, I have learnt an important lesson about only posting pictures of hunks when I am posting from home. Which is why this post is so late.

Thanks for waiting.
Here is a picture of a new hunk, Michael Fassbender, for everyone to enjoy.
You're welcome!

Probably India's favourite lentil recipe.

In an effort to simplify my life over the few remaining days before I go to NYC, I spent yesterday afternoon cooking something to eat for dinner each night before I go. I took the recipe from this book:

It belongs to my housemate, Rumpleslutzkin, and is pretty much his favourite cookbook. Rumpy makes a curry from this book every Monday night, and they are consistently delicious. I oughtta know, I've had the good fortune of tasting quite a few. Every Monday we go through a little pantomime where I say something like "oh hi Rumpy, what's for dinner?" and he opens the curry book and shows me what he's making and says there will be plenty left over if I want some. Then I laugh and shake my head and say thank you, but I couldn't possibly, I'm having blah blah, and mooch about the kitchen making then eating this blah blah. I do this because we both know that cooking curry takes a long time, and I usually get a little (read: totally) anxious (read: hysterical) if I don't get a feeding by 8pm. So I have my dinner and do my dishes and then get out of everyone's way until they are serving up, at which point I appear in the kitchen and silently take down the small bowl and place it in front of Rumpy while he silently fills it up and then we all eat our dinner and everyone acts like it's normal that I am eating a whole other meal with them.



Anyway, based on the deliciousness of the currys from this book, I thought I would look for a dahl recipe of some sort to be my dinner solution between now and NYC. I settled on something called Black Lentils, basically because of this awesome description:
"Probably India's favorite lentil recipe, this northern specialty features in all Indian restaurants of any standing. Rich, creamy, earthy, musky and fragrant all at the same time, it's one of the most wonderful dishes you could ever come across."
Yes please!
In addition to being one of the most wonderful dishes you could ever come across, it is very simple and does not require millions of ingredients or complicated techniques. It is spiced with chilli powder, garam masala, black and green cardamom pods and fenugreek leaves. The other ingredients are urid lentils, ginger, garlic, tomato paste, sugar, oil, butter and cream.
I know.
Oil AND butter AND cream.
But it is one of the most wonderful dishes you can ever come across! What's a girl to do?

Anyway, I scampered off to Aurora spice shop on Nicholson Street to get the special urid lentils and fenugreek leaves that I needed. What a great shop it is, readers. You must all remember them when you have spice needs. The shopkeeper and I had a lovely conversation. Did you know that back when Aurora was established, it was one of the only Indian spice shops in Melbs? People would come from far and wide to get their Indian spices there. Now, there are Indian spice shops all over Melbourne and not so many people come. So please go. They are so nice.

Back to the lentils. I soaked them overnight and then boiled for an hour until tender.

An hour is a lot of time to kill, so I did this:

I guess spending all that time with Don Draper took my mind of cooking a little, because I forget to take any photos of what followed until it was time to add the butter, which is the second last step. But honestly, the recipe couldn't be any easier. You basically start by frying cardamom pods and a bay leaf in oil until they crackle a little, then add the other ingredients one by one, giving them all a little bit of time to fry before you add the next. This leads to the formation of a rich red curry paste which looked fantastic but I can't show you because I was thinking about this:

Next, I added the lentils and their cooking water to the paste and mixed it all together. Then it was time for the butter and I remembered I should be taking some photos.
Even though I took a photo of the butter, I don't want to show you because it looks like a lot and I don't want to upset you/remind myself. The last step was to add the cream. Again, I took a photo, but who needs to know.

I was disappointed with how uninspiring the final product looked:

Geez Black Lentils, make a bit of an effort why don't you.
But as soon as I had my first mouthful, I realised that the joke was on my eyeballs. It is, hands down, the most delicious curry I have ever made. It is spicy in that deep, satisfying way where you don't really taste it at first but it builds and builds and before you know it your mouth is having a total heat party. Even though it is full of butter and cream it tastes light, but so very satisfying. I polished off a serve in the medium bowl in about 3.5 minutes. I can't wait to eat it again tonight.