Internet, you've ruined hunks (AM)

Recently, I asked the Internet what’s hot and Google showed me this:




Haha. Good one google.

Anyway, eventually I got to this thing on Buzzfeed about why Joseph Gordon Levitt may be hot.

 

And, as I well and truly already knew, there are several reasons. In simpler, pre-internet days there would actually be no question in my mind about the legitimacy of JGL's hotness. I like JGL, he's good in stuff and hot, therefore JGL = Hunk. But now I actually have to decide based on all this information whether or not a person is actually hot. With the Internet there is so much more to know. In the old days you just watched a few movies, read a few magazines, if you were lucky saw the odd interview on Letterman. A hunk was a hunk.

But now, there is so much exposure to people, sheesh, it's a wonder anyone is still a hunk. Let's, for example, examine Joey Gordon Levitt. First I just thought I loved him. Then, thanks to the Internet, I heard an interview with him on Fresh Air. I liked him well enough but I was primed to love him. Why didn't I love him? There, chink 1 in his hunk armour. Also, I read his twitter feed. It’s ok, sometimes amusing, sometimes annoying. Like everyone’s I guess. But still, I don't love him. Bam, another chink.

It's just that I know too much. In the old days a hunk was a hunk 'cause you just saw them in movies you could make them whoever you wanted. But now that’s harder. Look at our HotMC hunks: Casey Affleck, Gael Garcia Bernal, Jake Gylenhaal, even Jimmy Bartel, no Twitter feeds and pretty low level media exposure. Paul Newman, definitely no Twitter feed.

Internet, I guess you must be good for something other than providing pictures of cats that look like Hitler. I mean, Wikipedia seems ok, but sometimes I just wish we lived in simpler times. Times when you'd find a picture like this in Smash Hits and would have known without a doubt you were looking at a hunk.

Nothing gold can stay, I guess. 

Is this guy a hunk? (PM)

I haven't seen or dreamt about The Avengers, so this post comes to you without the taint of Whedon, which as J says makes everything great/hot.

Most of my Hemsworth knowledge comes from a Foxtel ad, where he walks around some house encountering characters from TV and looking hot.

At one point, a horse becomes involved.

So obviously, hot.
Also, as you can see, he is wearing a gentleman's bun in his hair, which is almost impossible to do and look hot. That he even remains a contender with that bun makes me think he might actually be quite an advanced level of hot.

It pains me that we don't just know though. God I wish this hunk recession would end. I had a dream about Channing Tatum the other night. Channing Tatum, you guys. We need a real hunk.

Is this guy a hunk? (AM)

On Sunday night I dreamt I was an Avenger.  It was confronting given that I didn't have an inkling I even had super powers. It was more than confronting, it was really upsetting; suddenly I had to defend the world from some great evil. And there was hardly anyone else around. Wolverine showed up (yeah, it was a Marvel mash up). And then Thor. Thank God for Thor.

When I saw The Avengers a few weeks ago I was kind of unimpressed at first, with the movie and the heroes, but then Iron Man and Thor meet and fight and, well, it all changed. I haven't seen the movie Thor, but in that first fight with Iron Man I knew he was my kind of superhero. 'Thor is my favourite!' I told LB. Later when the Hulk first appears we both said 'The Hulk is shit!' But then later when he comes into his own, channelling all that aggression towards the bad guys we declared 'The Hulk is my favourite!' 
 
Thor was a great hero and so was the Hulk, but I don't need a superhero movie to tell me Mark Ruffalo is great. But perhaps I needed it to figure out where Chris Hemsworth fits in this modern day hunk recession. Then again, maybe The Avengers is an unreliable source. I mean I have fallen in love with Joss Whedon's characters a million times. I've pretty much fallen in love with them all, so maybe that's just what was happening here? Plus, Thor! A Norse god that makes storms and protects mankind! Hot! So I guess for a bunch of reasons The Avengers won't tell us anything about Chris Hemsworth. Digging Joss Whedon's Thor was always going to happen I guess.



So what else do we know about Hemsworth. Well, every time I see him I can tell he is quite handsome but lacks a certain je me sais quoi. But he does look a little bit like Nate Archibald. Aka Chase Crawford. Hot! I mean, creepy!






Also Hemsworth was in Home and Away but I don't watch that shit so I never saw him in it and thus he is not tainted. Still, it's a not hot fact.

According to Wikipedia, he married his wife the same year he met her. I don't know, that seems like absolutely not a normal thing for an Australian man to do so...not hot.

I also know that when I looked for pictures on the internet of Hemsworth it took a long time for me to find some I thought were good enough to grace this here blog. And yet I also know that when I told K I was thinking of writing this post, she wrote to me, "YOU LOVE HIM DON"T YOU!!???" And I instantly thought "YESSSS!" But if I"'m really honest with myself I know it's Thor that is the hunk and that Hemworth is just doing a fine roll playing that hunk. What can I say, I'm just really into fictional hunks right.

The Miss Soft Crab Brownlow wrap up

After the success of the 2011 Brownlow Blue Carpet Wrap Up, Miss Soft Crab could not wait to get ringside for the 2012 extravaganza on Monday night.
Would the lazy susan be back?
Would Jimmy Bartel's girlfriend finally realise what a good wicket she is on and smile for once?
Would Twigley look ridiculous? (we didn't really wonder about this)

As usual, Miss Soft Crab answers all your questions through the text messages we exchanged  during the broadcast. J's special comments in grey, mine in green.

I don't know what a Fango is, but the Tango is a dance. 

The Cooneys are lovely, but underboob really should be neither seen nor heard.

You can't really see it here, but it's there. 

As for Lady Jobe...

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
I love you a little bit, Jobe.

More of Twigley later...
At this point, Trent and Lady Cotchin arrived, wearing something that looked inspired by a chaise lounge.

Am I right?

Baby is beautiful, he's right.

Sometimes our text messages don't make a lot of sense. Someone says something about one guy, then the other one responds with a comment about some other guy. It's a mess. But it always ends up with us wondering where Jimmy is. Anyway, here are Nick and Lady Nat:

And Toma and Ladyhawke:

Back to the broadcast...

Because they didn't show him ALL NIGHT, here is a picture of Jimmy for you, readers.

Now that's a face that has Brownlow written all over it. What? I don't know. But where the hell was Jimmy?

J said it best:

Seriously producers, what the eff. And seriously Twigley, what the eff.

Someone put a party pie in that woman's mouth, seriously.
That's basically all the red carpet had to offer and frankly, it was very disappointing. The count itself didn't really improve things. No Jimmy. Barely any Dees players got votes. No Jimmy.

J was smart and started watching the Emmys.

J meant 'love'. She can't help but love Gary.
Meanwhile, the lacklustre broadcast was made worse by the fact that they kept cutting to what looked like a fluro-lit RSL in Sydney where all the swans were. It was weird.

Does anyone know if Goodesy has a girlfriend? Because obviously the only thing standing between us is some other woman. Otherwise it would be on like Donkey Kong.

Meanwhile, J was watching the Emmys.

Aaron Paul plays Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad. We love Jesse Pinkman. He won an Emmy!
And Jobe Watson won the Brownlow.
For some reason, J started referring to Jobe Watson as my boyfriend. Sure, why not.

#hot

So that was it really. In summary, a very boring Brownlow with hardly any hunks and boring dresses. Just like the 2012 season.

At this point, I'm turned the tele off and probably started looking at pictures of Jimmy on the internet or something.
Then, I got this message from J:

I hope you made it out, Mate.