Highlights (AM)

Today I'm bringing you a brief round up of highlights from the week. Best thing I saw is probably a toss-up between what I saw in my brain eyeballs yesterday morning in a dream that involved Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio fighting and the Instagram account called Mandy Patinkin's Beard, which is great because it blends pictures of Mandy Patinkin with hilarity. And although you may not have ever realised it  this is a winning combination that makes he world a better place.

Best thing I ate was probably a delicious escargot type thing I got from the Tivoli Street Bakery which had pistachios and custard but although it was delicious I kind of regretted not getting a croissant because I just want to understand all the croissants of Melbourne.

But the best thing I heard was something Baby said to me on the bus yesterday. There was a print ad on the bus for a disposable, water-free toothbrush from Colgate. Below is a Spanish version of the ad.  The one we saw was definitely busier with more images and text but it still had those black fingers holding a toothbrush.

And Baby was asking me all about the ad and then he asked me why a penguin was holding the toothbrush.

The amazing things I heard this weekend (AM)

Check it out, yesterday I was just going about my usual Sunday business and everywhere my ears turned they were filled with amazing new things.

Like when I was at the market waiting in line to get a borek I overheard a conversation behind me. One woman asked another where boreks are from. Now, just in case you don't know the borek shop at the market it also sells falafels and kebabs and the like. Anyway, the second woman answers 'I don't know, maybe Russia.' And the first woman says 'Oh, yeah that could be right.' It would make sense, you know, being sold in the same shop as the famous Russian falafel.

But seriously folks, do you know what else I heard yesterday? While listening to Dirty Deeds on RRR I learned that there is an allowable insect contaminant level in food. That is, for example, when weevils get in your flour it's because you bought them together. And it is totally legal. Now I understand that perhaps this is necessary and safe, but gee, I really wish I didn't know that.

Turns out that the Australian government are not as forthcoming as the US on these rules so I can't tell you the details but I can tell you it's true (according to the insect expert on the radio) and I can tell you that, according to Wikipedia, in the US there are 'acceptable levels of food contamination from sources such as maggots, thrips, insect fragments, "foreign matter", mold, rodent hairs, and insect and mammalian faeces.' What the eff is foreign matter?! Aren't maggots, thrips, insect fragments, mold and faeces foreign enough?!? If Monday morning isn't upsetting you enough already I encourage you to read about these contamination rules.

But finally guys, the thing that really got me excited was hearing about the Thermomix demonstration that Primadonna went to on Friday night. Holy moley!

Now before yesterday all I knew about these things was that: a) they are expensive; b) they do everything; and c) people love them. No freaking wonder! Do you know what they do? EVERYTHING! Apparently at the demonstration Prima had the best sorbet she'd ever eaten. Sugar free and with frozen oranges as the only freezing agent. Thermomix made risotto, made a salad, made a custard. That little son of a bitch did it all! At its fastest the blades go at the speed of a jet! WHAT?!? I wasn't even at the demonstration and by the end of hearing about it I was ready to drop $2000 and change careers  to become a Thermomix consultant.

I don't want to give to much away but STAY TUNED FOR AN ACCOUNT OF THE THERMOMIX DEMONSTRATION I FULLY INTEND TO ATTEND!!!!