Assorted dreams addressed

K's post yesterday was a little confusing, am I right? Like, it was called 'Assorted dreams' so at first I thought she dreamed she saw disgraced wellness blogger Belle Gibson at Northcote pool and dreamed she'd been saying Mandarin wrong all her life. But I think those things are K's reality.

So, yeah it would totally suck to be recognised anywhere as a disgraced anything, but if you're going to go out and court fame, that's totally on you, Belle Gibson. It's not like poor old Schapelle Corby who never courted fame but just innocently took a giant bag full of marijuana into Indonesia, got caught and now after serving her time is not only being recognised but followed. Seriously world, who gives a shit. Let the woman be.

Mate, if you've been saying Mandareen instead of Mandarin, you're right. You've been saying it wrong.

That John Le Carre meets Raider of the Lost Arc dream sounds cool.

What day is it anyway? (PM)

I'm afraid I am well aware of what day it is because not next week but the week after I will be back at work on the equivalent of this day. Does that make sense? More basically, I am going back to work in a fortnight. So Mondays will be very very meaningful to me.

Though I am going to work part time, I decided to make Monday a work day, which seems to be unusual within the part time work community. People seem to like to take a Monday or a Friday off work, so they can have a long weekend I assume. But because weekends are by their very nature too short, I feel like it's a risky business to have a longer one by default. I figure it would be mere weeks before three day weekends don't seem long enough. And where does that leave you? Wishing weekends were four days long? Only fools dream of that kind of utopia. Easter and it's four days of leave come but once, ONCE a year. You'll drive yourself mad hoping for more. 

UNLESS you choose to work on Mondays and have Tuesdays off, and there's a public holiday. FOUR DAY WEEKEND YOU GUYS! Unless it's the public holiday for the stupid horse race, which is on a Tuesday. Or the new public holiday for the football game (which I support, I earnestly support) which is on a Friday, or any of the public holidays that are date specific like Australia Day, Anzac Day, and all the Christmas/NEw Year ones. So it's strikes and gutters, really. But here's to working, and also not working. Yeah!

Clothes: where to from here (AM)

I've been going through something of a crisis of confidence clotheswise. That is to say that any time I wear anything other than my jeans and sweater uniform I basically come out a hot mess. This is worsened by the fact that most of my jeans have ripped knees so even in my jeans I'm pretty much a disaster. My poor fat knees looking for freedom. I turned one pair of torn jeans into shorts, like I'm living in some past millennium. Basically, wardrobe-wise, I'm fucked. 

I've been wondering if the way to remedy this is to throw my current conceptions of my own personal style out the window. In fact I seem to have unwittingly already done this as I seem to have lost all semblance of personal style.  I told K recently I was considering a more femme look for summer, inspired by this lady (from garancedore.com). 

But I don't even know if that's true. 

I want to start wearing skirts but I hate all mine which I've owned for ever and worn to death and bought in a different fashion climate. 

The other day I tried on a pair of leggings. White leggings with blue and purple splatters. I hate the colour purple. But  I loved the leggings. Of course I selfied myself in the mirror and pretty promptly sent the picture to Pickle. And spent the rest of the day looking longingly at the picture. Loving those leggings and wondering what the fuck was happening to me. 

Eventually, as I was staring at the picture, I got a message from Pickle: Do it! They're awesome!

What followed was a pretty exciting text exchange with me saying things like: 

I can't stop looking at them/thinking about them. I think I'm going to get them but I don't know what I'll do with them. 

And:

I'm thinking about turning my whole wardrobe on it's head starting with those leggings. I don't know how to wear my clothes any more I may as well start over. 

And Pickle saying things like:

Fashion has changed more in the last year than it has in about 10 years... Things are really sporty again. Like Aths, not skater. It's like all the things we have considered outrageous are actually what we want to wear right now: socks and sandals, leggings, crop tops... It's Opposite Fashion/Fashion Opposite.

And:

I am very drawn to leopard print. I've tried to embrace it.

My god! I felt so alive, so sure of my fashion future. I knew what had to be done and I knew it would begin with those leggings. I didn't know what would happen next but I felt ready to jump into the abyss. 

And then I went to bed. I guess this is what they mean by 'sleep on it'. Because boy did everything look different the next day. Buy those crazy white leggings? Who do I think I am?! Yeah I want them, but really would I wear them out in the world?

I have been really confused. And I still am. 

On Saturday I went shopping with K and Legsly and while I kept being drawn to sweaters I told them how I felt like I should resist the sweater. How I thought it was time to start anew, but when they asked why I couldn't really say. I hate my clothes but should I really move away from the clothes I'm attracted to. Maybe I love sweaters and jeans because they are awesome. And because they suit me. Maybe I just need to add some skirts to the mix. Maybe I should replace my falling-apart jeans. Maybe these simple steps will make me feel well dressed again. Maybe I can throw those wack leggings somewhere in there too. 

Oh I don't have all the answers but I'm pretty sure this is going to be one crazy summer.  

What I think about when I think about pop (PM)

Who is Pharell?

What is Blurred Lines?

How come I don't know anything about anything anymore? 

I guess it's because I don't read Smash Hits or TV Hits all the time like I used to. I guess we can thank 'real life' for that, forcing me to grow up and engage with 'real issues' and the 'real literature' that explores them (WHO weekly). 

If J is questioning what's right and wrong about a song and whether repeatedly listening to it is OK, then there is no, absolutely no hope for me. That girl is my pop shepherd, guiding me through the valley of 'no idea' in which I naturally dwell.

I can tell you that I saw a clip for a Jay-Z song called Picasso Baby on Rage the other night and wondered what it was all about.   

Haiku Thursday (PM)

Love

Well hells yeah, coffee

You turn my frown upside down

An undying love

Discretion

Break-ups and beatings

From my dining neighbours' lives

Perhaps pipe down, yeah?

Confusion

Olympic events 

Under way, but the games not

Open yet.  Confused.