Let's talk about Lenny (AM)

A few weeks ago K and I were accused by a longtime reader of racial homogeneity when it came to hunks. I was quick to point out that our hunk exploration has travelled from whitey world to South America and Asia but even I can't deny that we have a pretty anglocentric hunk radar. And although I think the Machine is partly to blame it's important to take responsibility for ones failings. 

But, on the Machine can we just consider Hollywood offerings of racial diversity? As far as black men go we have the likes of Morgan Freeman (too old), Will Smith (too Tom Cruise), Kevin Hart (I don't really know who this guy is). They just will not serve up to young-middle aged hunk that is handsome, smiley yet brooding, heroic and in more than one or two movies before the powers-that-be decide to dump him from the rotation probably because he's getting too popular for a black man. Asian men are always too action hero or too wacky. And basically that brings us to the end of Hollywood's racial diversity.  Still there's more to hunks than Hollywood so I think it's important to acknowledge that K and I could be doing more to create a more diverse hunk pallette. I guess the problem is that we are lazy. Which is pretty sad when you consider our passion for hunks and our disappointment in the hunks on offer in modern times.

And so after the accusation of our racism K and I had a little text conversation back and forth about black hunks in the middle of which k went to bed, leaving me to spend half the night thinking about where to find a more diverse field of hunks. I was left without any ideas until I opened Instagram the next day and literally the first picture of Lenny Kravitz in Lenny Kravitz's Instagram feed and my very first thought was, "Gee Lenny is pretty hot. Maybe he's a hunk. Maybe I should put that to K." But then doubt struck me "Maybe I'm living in the nineties. He does have that weird overt sexual thing I usually find repulsive. And yet..." Still I felt I needed more time to assess my true feelings about Lenny. And I am not lying or exaggerating or taking poetic license when I tell you that just a couple of hours later I received this message from K:

And K doesn't even follow Lenny Kravitz on Instagram. She just came to that conclusion on her own. And like that, it was as if the gods had spoken. Not that there was the answer and Lenny was undoubtedly a hunk, but suddenly our eyes were open.

Now as I mentioned Lenny has that weird overly and overtly sexual thing going on that I would usually be repulsed by, but somehow it kind of works on him, and it kind of got me thinking that maybe he has a bit of he creepy/sexy vibe going on. Like his soul brother Prince. I mean it kind of makes sense. Lenny Kravitz is 52 years old and wears leather pants and open shirts, but somehow here are K and I thinking about him as a bona fide hunk? I read on the internet that Lenny said "a part of him died when he learned of Prince's death." And I know he feels. But what I'm also wondering is whether a part of Prince lives on. In Lenny!*

You know what else I dig about him? He's half African-American and half Russian Jew. Which means that we squeeze two races into one hunk! Just jokes. I love it that any kind of Russian Jew could produce this:

I am not talking about Lenny today to add diversity to the Miss Soft Crab hunk collective, I'm talking about Lenny because there is no thing I love doing more than exploring  hunks and no place I love doing it more than right here, with you guys. Lenny, I'm just saying. 

*Let me make it crystal clear that I don't think that Prince and Lenny are in the same league of creepy/sexy or awesomeness, but I wonder if they have been drinking from the same fountain of creepy sexy, y'know? 

It is better to have loved and lost (PM)

I knew J would it hard because when it comes to Prince, in the words of John Travolta, "(she) dig it the most". 

Funnily enough, I was also up at 5am that morning because KB likes that sort of thing. I was playing with him and watching tv on mute and when ABC news breakfast came on I could not figure out why Virginia Trioli was crying. 

It really was a heck of a knock. 

Also funnily enough, I just got a copy of the New Yorker that has an homage to Prince on the cover. It also has a little obit for him called 'Prince and the meaning of genius'. I am planning to read it, but because KB has just gone down for a nap after being up, more or less, since 5:30 (!!!!!!!) I'm just going to look at the back of my eyelids for a few minutes first. 

Never tear them apart (AM)

I saw a lot of ads for the INXS mini series that started last night and I felt pretty torn. I loved INXS when I was little. They were the band that made me realise how awesome and hot rock music could be. I loved them. I LOVED THEM! And when I hear them these days all those feelings come rushing back. INXS are really special to me. And that is why I felt both supremely drawn to and repelled by the mini series.

Also because I found the guy playing Michael Hutchence pretty repulsive. Of course Michael Hutchence himself had a slightly repulsive quality. But in that good way. He kind of had a creepy sexy thing going on. As a long-time fan of the pretty face even as a 10-year-old I was more drawn to Jon Farriss, but the draw of the Hutchence was strong. Creepy sexy, the force was strong with that one.

Anyway, for the sake of curiosity, and to report back to you guys, I watched INXS: Never Tear Us Apart. Needless to say within 30 seconds I hated it and my feelings didn't soften. Is it because INXS were probably a bunch of douches? Is it because this show was just shit and the acting pretty awful? Who can say. My understanding is that some of the Farriss brothers were involved with this program.You know, just like how they were involved with Rock Star: INXS. I guess that INXS had planned to have a Rolling Stones kind of career, I think Michael's death really fucked them. And fucked it for all of us too. I mean, why can't we just remember how good they were, why do we have to be subjected to the likes of JD Fortune or that tripe on TV last night. I watched a bunch of INXS videos on YouTube last night and you know what was about 75,000,000 times better than that stupid effing TV show? Everything INXS did in real life.



I do wonder how much say Andrew Farriss had in the making of the show. He was the most miserable bastard! "Let's not get a manager." "Let's not go on tour in America." "Let's not make the awesome album Listen Like Thieves." Shit, Andrew Farriss, I hope you are not really as miserable as you were in the mini series.


I guess part of the problem is that faking creepy sexy just means you are creepy. Faking musical genius just means you look pretentious. You have to be pretty special to fake that stuff and not surprisingly some shit made for Channel 7 was not special. Not at all.

The only good thing about that stupid show last night was the music. That was really good.

#creepysexyforlife

When Miss Soft Crab went to see Prince play a couple of weeks ago we discussed a little phenomenon we like to call creepy sexy. We tried to figure out why, how, at 54, Prince can not just be so totally awesome, but somehow really attractive. Yes, he writes what is arguably some of the best music of all time. No denying that. And that is a huge part of the appeal, but does that keep others going? Usually no. But what if a guy is creepy sexy? Well that is something else altogether. How can age take away what was never about youth and beauty in the first place? It can't! CREEPYSEXY! If a man is so overtly sexual it would usually be sickeningly repulsive, but somehow is hot, can anyone take that away? NO! CREEPYSEXY!

J: So mate, I think it's time we talked about creepy sexy. I did see Prince again last night, after all.

K:  You're right, it's time. OK, lets workshop this. Mate, what do we mean by creepy sexy.

J:  Great question. I guess it means someone who is kind of overtly sexual in a creepy, yet somehow awesome way. Not just someone is both a hunk but also a bit creepy (see: Christian Bale, Casey Affleck).

K:  Yes, creepy sexy is more than just a hunk who is a little creepy. In fact, creepy sexy people typically aren't hunks.That's what's so surprising about them.

J:  Exactly. Like, for example Prince. Look I'm just going to come out and say it. I want to talk about Prince a lot, but I'm happy to talk about other people too. OK, so Prince, now he is not your typical hunk. And usually I would find overt sexuality pretty repulsive but Prince is so creepily overt it is kind of irresistible.

K:  Seeing Prince has brought this creepy sexy issue to the fore for me too. Here are some feelings I have been feeling since seeing him: Revulsion. Desire. Admiration. Phwoar.

J:  YES! YES! I feel exactly the same. But actually, when it comes to revulsion I mostly think that is something I should feel but absolutely do not.

K:  Mate, is Prince in your top ten?

J:  Kind of. Like, in a way he is the number one. ICHI BAN! But not in a real way. It's hard to explain. He is so awesome. Like a beautiful angel. But mate, we are getting off topic. We are talking creepy sexy. Not top 10. Do you want to tell the people who else you think is creepy sexy?

K:  Sure, I'll tell the people who else is creepy sexy. I think Bonnie Prince Billy is creepy sexy. He is extremely, extremely sexual and creepual. Don't you think?

J:  Let's see what the readers think?

  

Is this man creepy sexy?

K:  Oh come on mate. Now I look like the creepy one.

J:  Yeah, that wasn't fair. This is what he normally looks like:

He's creepy something

 K:  Oh for goodness sake. Stop it at once! 

Look, I know J doesn't agree with me on this one, but BPB walks a similar path to Prince. He makes super great music. That music is overtly sexual. On paper, he shouldn't be attractive at all but he is, readers. He is! 

Just like Prince!

J:  OK, here is a picture of BPB singing his very beautiful music:

 

And it is true, his music is awesome and it is overtly sexual, and far from making it and him repulsive it makes them both attractive. I guess the problem is, for me, next to Prince, nothing compares.

K:  Well yes, there is that. But like you said, this chat is about creepy sexy, not just Prince, and we owe it to all the other creepy sexy babies out there to give them some time to shine. 

OK, this next one is going to do nothing to dissuade the readers from thinking that I am indeed creepy. But I have to say what I feel, and I feel that this man is creepy sexy.

J:  Look... Gee... Um... Look... 

I am not going to get into a debate about the attractiveness of RdN but, creepy sexy? You are right, this definitely says more about you then him. Go on defend it.

  

K:  Well, OK, sure, I will do that. I  mean, I could if I wanted to. Any time. Easily! I just don't feel like it right now. 

Jokies! You really must see Godfather part 2 to understand creepy sexy RdN.

K:  Now cop a look at that, would you? Obviously he is a handsome devil. But when I first saw him, around the Cape Fear era, he was less handsome and just more out and out compelling. Like you know you should be repelled or something, but you're not mate. You're not.

J:  Sure. I understand what you are saying. Creepy compelling sexy. I can dig it. And definitely I would say de Niro has that.

Look I think that Bobby and Bonnie both have special creepy hotness, but for me they are not in the same category as Prince. And I don't just mean he is so far above them (though I think that too). What I mean is that they actually inhabit different categories of special hunk.

K:  Interesting. Go on.

J:  So either a) creepy sexy means different things to you and me; or b) you crazy girlfriend!

K:  Both are possible. Is there anyone else you think is creepy sexy?

J:  Ummmmm. Ummmmmmmmmmmm. Well....

  

K:  Mate, is this post not really about creepy sexy at all?

J:  Shit!

Shit. I thought it was. I thought it was about creepy sexy. But it's just about Prince. I love him. I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K:  Shit mate, you really love him. It's cool.You wanna show the readers some more pictures?

J:  I thought you'd never ask!

But seriously folks. I want to say one more thing about why Prince is so awesome. Two. Two things.

Have you seen the way he dances? HOT

K:  You're right. it's really hot.

  

J:  Also, he always seems to be having such an awesome time. And everything is kind of a joke. He is not earnest about all that sexuality. HOT!

K:  Totally good point. Dude is always having a great time. And  that's something that you certainly can't say about BPB and RdN. Creepy sexy though they are.

J:  Exactly! (To the first point, second point remains unconfirmed.) And that is why Prince is KING OF CREEPY SEXY! #creepysexyforlife