You have to know when you have to go

No one was more surprised than me when Prince Phillip emerged as the most appealing character in 2016's hit series The Crown. Miss Soft Crab is known for its appreciation of QEII and her inspirational fully realised personal style, Monarchrome. I expected to love QEII in The Crown and surely I did. But Phillip has  been little more than the tall racist who tagged along with her at events. So you could colour me surprised when I found myself being totally charmed by his characterisation in The Crown. He seemed to be in love with his wife, building a life with her, but frustrated by the way that QEII  occupying her power meant he had to shape himself around that role. He was relatable. Plus, he was young and super handsome. 

Last week, the real Prince Phillip retired after decades of following QEII around as she occupied her power and later, her awesome QEII style. 

I wondered what triggered his retirement. How did he decide, at 96, after more than 22,000 events, that it was time? Wouldn't he have been justified retiring  at 90? At 95? Why now Prince Phillip? Why now? 

I guess there's no one reason. It's just time to go.

Miss Soft Crab began in 2010 out of a desire to talk about the themes the great poets have talked about forever: hunks, food and other things that seemed like they needed to be talked about from time to time.

Those themes have endured for 7 years.

But it's time for us to do a Prince Phillip. It's time for us to go. Probably not forever. But for a while. Indefinite hiatus, we're calling it.

This week, we bring you classics from the MSC back catalogue, so we can all enjoy those themes again. 

Like that time there was only ONE HUNK on screen during an entire three hour oscars telecast.

Robbed! 

Just thinking about coffee (as usual)

My feelings about coffee oscillate. I'm not talking about my love for it, which is constant, but rather my feelings about my addiction. I swing between feeling like an addiction to a harmless, delicious drug like caffeine is not doing anyone any harm, and feeling like it's not cool to be a slave to anything. But then I think I enjoy it so much, and why would I give up coffee. And then I think, well I guess that's what all addicts think. But then I think, well it's not bad for me or making me a bad person so who gives a shit. And then I have a coffee and feel great about everything. 

But recently I've been reading a book to the kids at night with this picture. 

Every time I see it I zoom in on this:

And I think, gee that looks good. I wouldn't mind sitting around with a group of small people/animals reading books and drinking I nice black coffee. No wonder that bunny teacher looks so content. Mmmmmm.

I guess what I'm saying is I feel a little alarmed by the fact I'm so attracted to a cartoon cup of coffee it's made me question my addiction again. 

Now I better go listen to some LCD Soundsystem and see what I'm missing out on!

I can change

I've never been particularly cool, I think we can all attest to that.  I tend to stand well back from the cutting edge. Mostly I'm ok with that but sometimes it makes me wonder. 

The other day I was in the car, the radio was on, and the song that was playing pulled me out of my daydream. This is a great song, I thought. I wonder who these guys are, they've really got something. 

Turns out is was LCD Soundsystem, a song from 2010. I know LCD Soundsystem are a thing, but that was the first time I registered one of their songs. I don't think I can call that standing back from the cutting edge, i think that's something else. I felt bad for a minute or two. I wondered what great things I'm missing out on and how I could change to make sure I'm across stuff as it's happening, not 7 years after the fact. 

But then I downloaded some LCD Soundsystem and got to go about discovering it boy oh boy, that was really great! Does it matter it was late in the game? I'm not sure it does. Can I change? I'm not sure I can, or that I need to. I had such a great time discovering LCD Soundsystem in 2017, surely that's the whole point. The discovery and  the pleasure. Not the when of it.  

It's like Kermit says: 

why wonder why wonder?

I am green, and it'll do fine

It's beautiful

And I think it's what I want to be. 

Let's hear it for sunshine!

Although I don't want to detract from K's personal sucesses of last week (booking tickets to go see Book of Mormon (thanks Mate) AND making a physio appointment (way to go mate)) by suggesting it was anything other than her personal capabilities, I gotta wonder if all the sunshine of last week played a hand in it. I know there was that bullshit weather over the weekend that probably made you forget but not me. I remember how sunny it was because I was also fairy productive last week. Did some work on a personal project and felt pretty good about myself. And I'm feeling pretty damn productive today. I just think that sunshine really adds to one's productiveness. Unless that sunshine comes on a Friday afternoon when all it has the ability to produce is a desire to knockoff early and go to the pub or better still, have a beer in the park. And if you're stuck at work on a sunshiney Friday afternoon you'll probably have zero productivity and spend the afternoon online shopping or more likely online browsing until you can actually go to the pub. But lucky for me it's Wednesday and I'm going to harness this sunshine into some A-grade productivity. As long as Little Bean keeps sleeping for a while I'm going to edit a paper, make a mushroom pie from some bulk mushrooms that Housemaid gave me and are about to turn, fold 4 loads of washing and keep working on some personal projects.

Way to go sunshine! Thanks!

I can dig it

I can dig on abolishing heterosexual marriage. Like the more progressive nations are doing with petrol cars, we can just do a gradual phase out and set a cut of date after which no more marriage licenses will be issued. Sure! 

I think taking marriage off the table could actually really help some people. Help them define their own relationships according to their own parameters, you know? You see it with some folks...questioning their relationships because they've been together for a certain period of time, but they're not married, so there's this tension. A lack of commitment is worth questioning, sure, but a lack of marriage ain't no thang. But some people really don't see it like that. Then if marriage is agreed upon, you see people wanting to get certain kinds of rings because they've been culturally conditioned to think that a big bit of sparkly carbon confirms their worth and their sweetheart's love. I don't need to tell you, it's a whole thing. A girl at work got engaged recently and she bought a big ring that is very sparkly. She said "I didn't really think I was the type of person to want a big ring but I really got caught up in the whole thing". I think she thought she was immune to the whole princess industrial complex because she wears converse and listens to Gillian Welch. It's those ones that I worry about more than the ones who buy into it hook line and sinker. 

Anyway, abolishing hetero marriage so every couple can just do their own thing. Let's pitch it! 

The answer is simple

My mum recently suggested that LB and I should get married. For the kids she said. Ha! I said. Not bloody likely. Oh sure there was a time when LB and used to talk about it as a possibility. Mainly because I like to party and dress up but I have to say that was basically where the desire began and where it ended. Later I asked Baby if he cared that LB and I weren't married, he told me he used to think it would be good if we were but now he doesn't care. Even a seven year old can figure it out. 

The conversation really gave clarity to an idea I've had for a while, that everyone is looking at this marriage equality situation all wrong. Same-sex marriage should not be made legal, heterosexual marriage should just be abolished. People could still have parties, they could declare their love for each other in front of there friends and family, they could get married in the eyes of  'God'. They could get married in the eyes of whoever they wanted. But legally it wouldn't matter. Just abolish legal marriage and make everyone equal. De facto status gives you all the legal rights and obligations that marriage does and anything if there is anything lacking just amend that law. It's 2017 people. Let's embrace the future.

Get well soon

Get well soon Matey. I bet you're T'ingGIF hard right now. Hey, who is kind of liking this weather? I sure am. I've been living according to that great Scandinavian principle: there's no bad weather, just bad clothing. And you know they don't mean bad clothing like, I don't know, jeans west or something. 

They mean layer up hard and keep your feet in boots. And that's just what I've been doing. 

Friends, join with me in pretending those sunny days last weekend never happened and double down on winter dressing. Like Elsa said: let it go. Also: the cold never bothered me anyway. 

Haiku Thursday

Sick

Functioning ok

I guess. But fading hour

By painful hour

Nightfall. Body aches

Bone sore. Throat, chest...all the pain

Sick be gone you fiend

I followed through!

Check it out! 

And I'm going to the physio on Friday! 

Eat more eggs

Until a month or two ago I was still suffering the ill effects of having  a baby. And I'm not talking about a weak pelvic floor. 

Having babies is great. I love babies heaps. And mine seem to be particularly adorable. At least that's what I've found. But as I (along with most of the world) have lamented before it is not without its challenges and after the birth of Little Bean I was feeling particularly stretched (still not talking about my pelvic floor). I found it quite hard to use my brain or my time effectively. Or at all. And that was quite troubling to me. I was hoping I'd find a way out of the fog and wondered if there wasn't something I could be doing to help me find my way. And then one day someone, let's call her Yo, with a baby just a couple months older than Bean told me she'd been feeling much better since she'd had acupuncture. I've never had acupuncture but I've often thought about it. If nothing else, I do think that lying down and telling a hippy your woes while they soothingly talk to you and put needles in you could be restorative regardless of your yins and yangs. Yo, who is definitely a bit of a hippy herself, was so enthused I really started to get excited at the prospect of acupuncture sorting me out. And then she told me that she'd been acupuncturally reset. 'There's a reset for after you have a baby, it's in the perineum it hurts but it really puts everything back into alignment.' Well that was where my enthusiasm fell away. Now that my baby producing days are behind me I'm not letting any sharp implements near my perineum again. Luckily Yo had some more advice which was that her acupuncturist had suggested she start taking protein powder, that all the breastfeeding is a real drain and you need to up your protein! She said that this had also made her feel amazing and this, I thought, was something I could definitely do!! I felt pumped! I couldn't wait to add that protein powder to my day. Now I could feel amazing too! Until I started to think that taking protein powder would actually be a bit gross and maybe I should just make a concerted effort to eat more protein? 

So now I eat so many more eggs.  I try to eat them most days and as soon as I eat them I actually do feel pretty great. I don't know if it's just because they are delicious or satisfying or they are giving me a much needed protein boost or if it's just the good ol' placebo effect, I'll take the high anyway I can get it. Eggs !

Follow through

There are so many things that I start each day wanting to do and then not following through on. For example:

- calling the physio to make an appointment to get my pelvic floor sorted out

- more recently, calling the physio to make an appointment to get my tight glutes sorted out

- reflecting on the possible relationship between an undisciplined pelvic floor and tight glutes

- organising fun things to do with my friends

- brainstorming some great content for MSC

- going to the bank to do boring non-urgent bank stuff

- booking tickets to see The Book of Mormon (mate, I'm seriously going to do this tomorrow) 

Etc. etc. etc. 

It's just that there's no time at all before the day takes over.

Appleheart is the opposite. If he woke up at 7am one Monday determined to get his pelvic floor sorted out, he'd have had his first appointment by the end of the day and be crushing walnuts with his pelvic food muscles by the same time next week. His follow through is outstanding.

I guess some part of me doesn't feel that this stuff is important, otherwise I'd do it, right? I follow through on the important stuff. And I'll follow through on the list above. Eventually. 

Say, should I set myself a little challenge? How about I come back on Wednesday with a concrete date for seeing The Book of Mormon! 

Yeah! 

Well shit

K's done an out of session Friday post. Does this mean I don't need to post today? Up is down! Down is up! Tom Hardy is hot in Dunkirk! But don't bother seeing it for his hotness! I don't know what is going on today! But I'll just say this: I know that people, including Miss Dizzy and Pickle are pretty hot for this Tom Hardy. Frankly I don't see it.  According to IMDb he's in films that I've seen but I've never noticed him in those. I've just seen him in photos on the internet which do nothing for me. BUT I am the first to admit that seeing a person front and centre in a film can do a lot, A LOT for their hotness. So don't worry Tom Hardy, I'm not writing you off yet.

Uh-oh nuts

Last night I went to see the film Dunkirk. Tom Hardy plays a spitfire pilot in it. When he came on screen in his cream wool turtleneck and leather jacket with sheepskin collar, looking all warm and broody I thought you know what? Long-time Miss Soft Crab fan Miss Dizzy is right. Tom Hardy sure has got something. Then I thought Shit! Miss Soft Crab! I forgot to post! Sorry about that folks. 

Also, a little PSA, if you're going to Dunkirk expecting to see Tom Hardy be really handsome, you can save your money. He soon after puts a pilot mask on and spends basically the entire rest of the film with his face covered up. It's like buying a fancy car that goes really fast (a Ferrari I guess? A Maserati maybe?) only to drive in 40km per hour school zones between 3pm and 4:30pm. A total waste!  

Snownuts

K isn't the only one feeling pretty good about herself after discovering ghost tram. I'm feeling pretty special too. I don't want to brag, but guys, I've done it again. Two weeks ago it was apple pie toastie, now meet snownuts. And I'm not talking about Russeth's Friday night. 

A little while ago while talking about the prospect of buying donuts Baby started saying words that rhymed with donuts. "Are you buying brobutts? Snownuts?"

'Mmmmm, snownuts' I thought. I didn't know what a snownut would be, I just knew it would be delicious. White and pillowy like snow but fried and delicious like a donut. I tried to imagine how you could get something so lovely sounding. A donut covered in heaps of icing sugar. No that's just a sugary donut. I kept thinking about it going through different possibilities until it suddenly struck me. I'd make a meringue, fill it with something and deep fry it. SNOWNUT! First I thought I'd fill it with lemon curd but I felt like it needed something even more special than that and decided on raspberry curd. 

I knew I'd seen poached meringues before but I'd never seen deep fried meringues so naturally I googled it and found that Poh has a recipe for a fancier version of this using pandan creme patissiere and spun sugar. So I knew it would work and so I set to... work. 

First I made a raspberry curd which is just like making a lemon curd but I added some heated strained raspberries to it. 

Then I made my meringue. I noticed Poh included flour and corn flour in her recipe which I was a little wary of. But as a frequent pavlova maker I decided I'd add some corn flour for a little integrity. I used theee egg white about half a cup of castor sugar, about a tablespoon of corn flour and a little vanilla extract. Whipped it into some stiff snowy peaks and used Poh's technique to create the snownuts. This involved putting the meringue mixture into a ladle, making a well, adding the curd the covering that over with some meringue.

Then I fried the little bastards. Oh my god. Fucking snownuts! They are delicious. 

Snownut ripped open

They really are these lovely sweet pillows. I'd never really chose to eat a meringue, I don't like the crunchy chalky texture that they are often entirely made up of. I like that on the outside of a pav, but meringues tend to be all crunch, no softness. Snownuts are like the pillowy inside of a pavlova with a delightful deep-fried skin and a delicious tangy burst in the middle. In fact I think lemon curd would have worked pretty damn well here, like an inside out lemon meringue pie. But I guess I can try that next time!*

*As if. I have to stop inventing delicious sweet treats, especially of the deep-fried variety. I know where this is heading and it involves me not fitting into my jeans. And I love jeans even more than deep-fried things!