Terrific Tuesday (PM)

My Tuesday was terrific up until 11am. 

First, I got up early enough to get a coffee en route to the tram which I love doing but never get up early enough to do. 

Then, because I had decided to take the surplus baked goods I baked on the weekend to work to eat during our team meeting, the team meeting went very quickly and I got to eat baked goods during it. 

More about those baked goods tomorrow. 

But then I had another meeting that did not go quickly and resulted in a whole bunch of annoying work. So things got less terrific. 

 

But,  I plan to re-calibrate coordinates and steer this ship back to terrific waters by doing a little holiday research later. And of course tonight I am going to the pub for a free steak due to Mike Gatting's triumphant return to the trivia crease last week. So that's quite terrific. And maybe I will buy this cookbook today too. I can't stop staring at that picture. 

Terrific Tuesday! (AM)

I won't lie to you guys. When my alarm woke me up this morning from a really vivid dream about breaking eggs I could not believe the alarm was meant for me. I felt tired and brain dead and things did not get any better when Baby asked me to read a Peter Pan book to him.

If you think novelisations of movies of bad you should try reading a children's bookisation. So lame.

But then I had a great idea for how to turn this day around. Terrific Tuesday! Here's how I'm gonna make this Tuesday totes terrific!:

Coffee
Natch. Coffee in abundance is the cornerstone of Terrific Tuesday.

Get my life in order
It's service day for my car! Doing responsible things like taking my car to get serviced always makes my day. Other things that have fulfilled me in this way recently include going to the dentist, getting car insurance and updating my electoral enrolment details! YEAH! The best thing about the car service situation is that LB is the one taking it but I get to feel the full glory of it because it is my car and I booked it in. Win!

Enjoy autumn
How good is autumn at doing it's job?! God I love autumn and today looks sunny and mild and I bet you anything it's going to have that nice autumn light and the special crispness of autumn. I am going to enjoy the heck out of it today. Terrific.

Run
Look, I have not been running a lot lately. But today is the day I turn that around and I can't wait!

Make pizza
I love pizza. Pizza shops are the one kind of shop that without exception have me craving their product every time I pass them. But eff those guys, I'm making my own tonight.

TERRIFIC TUESDAY! I feel better already.

TV's Night of Nights (PM)

Hey, Mate, way to go on doing a Logies round-up! Me, I didn't even know they were on. I watched Don't Mess with the Zohan.

I used to love a red carpet round-up but given that a) I recognise about 5% of the Logies attendees; b) I have a child to look after before I go to work and work to do once I get there; and c) no-one brings it dress-wise anymore I don't bother with that shit. Especially for an event like this where there is no chance of finding a hunk among the pictures.

Plus, I'm pretty sure the highlight is that Brynne Edelsten is wearing a dress that seems to waterfall from her boobs. Way to go Brynne.

TV's Night of Nights (AM)

So did anyone watch TV's night of nights last night?
No, me neither. I tuned in for about five minutes, but you could hardly call what I did in those five minutes 'watching the Logies'. I was really just doing that thing you do when you are mentally ready for bed but your body hasn't caught up yet, so you watch a little of whatever's on tele until you can't take it anymore. During the bit of the Logies I watched, I think Bondi Rescue won an award. Or is it Bondi Vet? Are either of those shows a thing? They both sound plausible to me.

Anyway, it was very very boring five minutes. But it made me realise that any time there is a 'night of nights', a  'morning of online photo galleries' can't be far behind.

And boy was I right. I've spent the last half hour looking at heaps of photos of people I don't recognise trying to look sexy/elegant/grand but really only succeeding at looking boring.
Would you like to see a sample of my favourites? Of course you would.

Here we have a picture of Brooke Satchwell who I'm sure you all remember from Neighbours back in the day, and from being the first woman to indicate that being Matthew Newton's girlfriend might hurt.

This dress is fine I guess. Kind of boring though. But the reason this picture caught my eye was  because of the hilarious caption on the TV Week webbie: "Brooke Satchwell brings a taste of class to the awards night, in this strapless black dress with lace bodice."
A 'taste' of class. Just a little taste and no more. Ha.

Now, look at this hot mess:

It's coral coloured. Coral! Only nail polish and coral can get away with that colour. And that wedge of lace in the skirt. Ew. It's a wedge of gross.

Here is Gold Logie winner Asher Keddie looking like this:

Zzzzz.

Thank goodness for Brynne.

Now there's a woman who really owns the fact that she has no clue. I like that about her.

Here is a woman called Kylie Gillies who apparently currently co-hosts The Morning Show with Larry Emdur.

My interest in her is that she looks so much like Celine Dion. Nothing more. 

Here is a woman who's name I forgot to jot down. Her dress is so far so boring until you get to the bottom and WOW!

You realise she's bringing sexy pretzel tail back. 

Finally, here is a woman who I think might be trying to look like Kristen Wiig from the Oscars in 2012:

Leave it to the Wiigster, sister. 

Internet, you've ruined hunks (PM)

Gee Mate, way to hit the nail on the head. For ages I've been grappling with this feeling, this very strange feeling, that the golden age of hunk has passed. I looked around at the current offerings and felt nothing at all in my hunk chakra. Just a mild sense of irritation at how annoying they all seem. But now I realise it's the goddamned internet that's to blame. Eff you, internet, why you gotta ruin hunks for us?

But, if I'm honest, the internet also saved me from getting a boner for Channing Tatum, which was stirring a little after I saw Magic Mike. But then he was in my face so much that that boner went away and it went away forever. And that's thanks to the internet. So I guess there's two sides to this internet coin. 

And now, let me bid you all good weekend with this picture from the golden age of hunks. No ensemble cast better represents hotness that balances on a knife's edge more than these tuffs. 

Internet, you've ruined hunks (AM)

Recently, I asked the Internet what’s hot and Google showed me this:




Haha. Good one google.

Anyway, eventually I got to this thing on Buzzfeed about why Joseph Gordon Levitt may be hot.

 

And, as I well and truly already knew, there are several reasons. In simpler, pre-internet days there would actually be no question in my mind about the legitimacy of JGL's hotness. I like JGL, he's good in stuff and hot, therefore JGL = Hunk. But now I actually have to decide based on all this information whether or not a person is actually hot. With the Internet there is so much more to know. In the old days you just watched a few movies, read a few magazines, if you were lucky saw the odd interview on Letterman. A hunk was a hunk.

But now, there is so much exposure to people, sheesh, it's a wonder anyone is still a hunk. Let's, for example, examine Joey Gordon Levitt. First I just thought I loved him. Then, thanks to the Internet, I heard an interview with him on Fresh Air. I liked him well enough but I was primed to love him. Why didn't I love him? There, chink 1 in his hunk armour. Also, I read his twitter feed. It’s ok, sometimes amusing, sometimes annoying. Like everyone’s I guess. But still, I don't love him. Bam, another chink.

It's just that I know too much. In the old days a hunk was a hunk 'cause you just saw them in movies you could make them whoever you wanted. But now that’s harder. Look at our HotMC hunks: Casey Affleck, Gael Garcia Bernal, Jake Gylenhaal, even Jimmy Bartel, no Twitter feeds and pretty low level media exposure. Paul Newman, definitely no Twitter feed.

Internet, I guess you must be good for something other than providing pictures of cats that look like Hitler. I mean, Wikipedia seems ok, but sometimes I just wish we lived in simpler times. Times when you'd find a picture like this in Smash Hits and would have known without a doubt you were looking at a hunk.

Nothing gold can stay, I guess. 

Ways I am no good at being an adult (PM)

Do you look like this? If the answer is yes, you may well be an adult. According to a Google image search, an adult is a smiling person in a group of people wearing monotone clothes

Botulism!

I hear you sister. And I am in exactly the same boat. Sure I can do some of the things an adult is meant to. Drive a car. Raise a well-adjusted child. He's not even 3 mind you, so there is plenty of time for maladjusting him yet. I don't have a mortgage though and I can barely hold down a job so already I'm failing.

But I think this morning's post demonstrated some very adult achievements. For example, that tomato paste that is going to give K botulism was Coles Smart Buy tomato paste. A smart buy! Adult!

Getting a cleaner! Man I fantasise about getting a cleaner all the time. For me that will be the true moment when I know I am a successful adult. A time where I can stop doing the boringest, Sisypheanist task of them all and pay someone else to do it. Like when I stopped waxing my legs at home and started paying a professional to do it! Adult! Except I am so broke at the moment I plan to wax my own legs today! Regression!

And that weevil situation... Forget about it. The source of the problem is probably your food. You know how food has an allowable contamination level? Well basically those weevils come as eggs in your flour and what not and then hatch and make your kitchen home. What are you going to do? Stop buying food? No, because you are an adult!

 But that toothpaste thing is just gross.

Ways I am no good at being an adult (AM)

In many ways I am a responsible adult. I hold down a job. I have a mortgage. When J and LB used to go away, sometimes I would look after Doggy and I always returned him to them with a shiny coat and a waggy tail. I always make the bed before I leave the house. Every single time.

But there are some pretty fundamental ways in which I am quite bad at being an adult.
And let's get straight to it...I'm talking about cleanliness here. I am really not a clean person. Even though I think having a clean environment to live in and clean clothes to wear is very very important, I don't want to spend any time seeing to those things.  I had four days off over Easter, and I spent no minutes and no hours of any of those days cleaning. And boy oh boy did I have some cleaning to do. But I did all the other things instead.

It's not right. Not for an adult. And I'm starting to realise that maybe I'm someone who should get a cleaner. But that's a big step.  It's basically an admission of failure at being an adult. But so is this I guess. And, on the bright side, getting a cleaner is an admission of success at being a lazy son of a bitch. And it's nice to be honest with oneself.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. There are lots of other ways I'm pretty shit at being an adult too, ways that I can admit to without having to then do something that's pretty...weird. Here are some just from this morning!

Add caption

My toothpaste tubes always get toothpaste residue around the edge. It means you can't close the lid properly and the toothpaste dries out a little. It's gross. I seem to be the only person this happens to and I don't know why.

 There are lots of these little moths in my house. You know, the ones that live in open packets of stuff in your pantry. I found this one dead on my kitchen bench this morning. But he has so many friends that are not dead. An adult would find their life source and cut it off. I just ignore them.

I left this can of tomato paste out overnight after I made meatballs for dinner. I'll probably use it again anyway. And I'll probably get botulism, even though I don't know if that's something you can get. But it's fun to say.

Botulism!

In praise of leftovers (PM)

I am always so busy eating the firstovers to tune in to discussion of potential leftover innovations. Idiot.

Now I think about it, I could have turned all that leftover cauliflower kugel I made in to a pretty sweet vegetable tart. Sheesh, I could have made burgers. But I didn't. Oh well. 

Next year in Jerusalem. 

This is a tart I made another time. 

In praise of left overs (AM)

Best ever burgers

Monday a week ago was Passover. And our Seder was full of delicious food. Everything was delicious of course. And it was a vegetarian meal which was very exciting to me because I could eat everything. But you know what was even more exciting. The meal I made with the left-over food. If you ever find yourself with left-over hasselback potatoes and some left-over eggplants with buttermilk sauce you may just be lucky enough to eat the best burger dinner of your life!

Hasselback potatoes are potatoes that have been sliced, but not all the way through, and then cooked in quite a bit of fat, salt, garlic and thyme. Before they go into an oven they may look like this. But it was something I heard Chickpea say at Seder that really got me thinking. "YUM! Potato and chips at the same time." YES! I thought. YES!

And so, when I found myself with some left-over hasselbacks and a plan to make burgers there was really only one option.

 

As for the burgers,  it was something I heard Frandonna say after the Seder that really got me thinking. Mum was trying to give me all the eggplant left-overs and I said, "What will I do with all this?" And Frandonna said, "Make burgers." Or I think she did. So of course there was only one option. Burgers. I just mushed up the eggplant flesh with an egg and breadcrumbs, and hey presto, the moistest deliciousest veggie burgers I've eaten in a long time. I'm pretty sure they would be as delicious made with a roast eggplant and some good seasonings.

You guys, this meal was so good. Not just the best left-over meal but just a really effing great meal. I ate it twice in one week, and frankly my mouth is watering just writing about it.

Next year in Jerusalem!

Thanks Easter (PM)

The gift of a four-day weekend is a truly great thing. Each day fills you with this feeling that anything is possible and if you eff up this day there is another one just around the corner with which you can right the wrongs of the previous day. Luckily I pretty much nailed every one of the last four days. Also, I confirmed some things too!

Nature is a delight and walking through it is the best!

Despite its somewhat off-putting name, fish pie really is delicious!

Puppies are adorable!

Thanks Easter! And thanks to all the Easter miracles that made for a great weekend!

Thanks Easter (AM)

The gift of a four day weekend is a precious, precious thing.  Thanks to Easter, I had time to confirm that:

slow cooking a lamb for five hours is the best way to eat lamb.

Pickle knows how to spilt and toast hot cross buns real nice

reviewing the yield from an easter egg hunt is enjoyable

riding the Capital City trail is ace, exhausting fun. 

Thanks Easter. Important lessons to learn, I think. 

The Easter limerick (PM)

It's great JC got resurrected
Though I suspect he was quite affected
His BF's betrayal
Must have hurt more than nails
The wounds from which were probably infected

The Easter limerick (or Thanks for the super long weekend)(AM)

There once was a guy called JC

First he died then said 'Dad, resurect me!'

He went down on a Friday

Came back on a Sunday

Thanks for organising it so conveniently!