Reality check

I feel like such an idiot. Remember months ago I told you how much I was looking forward to October and November because I wouldn't be pregnant anymore and it'd be spring and I'd finally be able to dress normally? Was I in denial overload or what?! I mean spring in Melbourne, warm? What was I thinking? Not to mention my body. Oh sure I'm skinnier now than I was 6 weeks ago but also I have the body of a woman that was pregnant until 6 weeks ago. Of course I love having a substantial part of my wardrobe back in action but I'd love it more if I looked better in it. 

Don't get me wrong the grass is definitely greener here than back then. I can wear pants. I way prefer my babies ex utero than in utero and the rainy days are interspersed with sunny days. And in fact last night I felt practically gleeful when the rain started. Sitting inside of an evening while it rains makes me nearly as happy as brushing my teeth an hour before I go to bed. But when am I actually going to look good in clothes? My theory is that 8 months postpartum is optimum bod time, but if I'm honest with myself, and you,I'm pretty nervous about how things may pan out now that I'm in my late thirties. I mean Leonardo Dicaprio turned 42 last week. Do you know how old that makes me? An age where I'm probably really going to have to make an effort to lose weight after having a baby. Sigh. 

So I'm just going to eat the McDonald's style apple pies Russeth made that are in my freezer and the ice cream to get them out of my house and stop slathering butter on the Coles brand flatbread I'm weirdly addicted to (mainly because I eat it slathered in butter I suppose). Probably I'll have to stop snacking constantly out of fear that if I don't I'll get so hungry I pass out or eat a horse. Once I have achieved these things then maybe I'll look forward to a time when I may look good in clothes again. If only I didn't have to give up comfort eating to see me through this difficult time. Sigh.