An email from Mum

Mum sent me the following hilarious email after she arrived home in Australia.

Hi Darling,
Thanks for phoning to say you had arrived in Mexico safely. I hope you have a great time in the beautiful temperature there.
Dad said to tell you that the 4 remaining in the dead cert* are still going as we all chose Collingwood. Dad is leading the footy tipping by 1 point on 51, you are on 45, Midbro is on 46 and I am on 41. We looked after Baby A yesterday for about 3 hours. She really has "matured" in the time we have been away, you will see a big difference.
No news to relate from here.
Speak to you soon.
"Have fun"
Love Mum xxx

ps...I watched a few more episodes of "the office" on the way home, if you have not already seen the double episode of the birth of the baby, make sure you watch it as I thought it was hysterical!!!
The 16year old guy sitting beside me made smelly windy bops** all the way from LA to Melbourne, gee I was glad to see the back of him.
(the " back of him" does not relate to where the smells were coming from, it was just a figure of speech), he also snored quite loudly which made me feel guilty for how I treated you***.
bye bye

* My Dad runs the footy tipping competition at his bowling club. Not satisfied with a regular comp, he created a parallel competition called the Dead Cert. In addition to choosing the 8 winning teams each round, participants in the Dead Cert comp must also choose a single team that they 100% for sure think will win that round. This is the dead cert. It's a sudden death comp, so if your dead cert loses, you're out. The four people left are my dad, my mum, my brother and me. I know.

**My Mum calls farts windy bops. No one knows why.

***My Mum is a snorer. But I didn't mind - I had ear plugs. She was so worried that her snoring was bothering me, and wouldn't listen when I told her it was no problem. Seriously Mum, it was fine. Better snores that windy bops!