What now? (PM)

Wow, this morning's post raised so many questions. But it made me think some other things too, like if I was a cardinal who had helped cover up the abuse perpetrated on hundreds or thousands of victims and I really believed in the teachings of Catholicism and I just kept on rising through the Catholic ranks till I got moved over to Italy and handed a Vatican credit card I would be nervous as fuck about what was awaiting me in the afterlife.

But that's by the by I guess. I don't believe in God (although the idea of one that just keeps rewarding a-holes in this life to lull them into a false sense of security before handing them over to Satan in the afterlife amuses me. But in reality that would be a total abuse of his or her omnipotence that I couldn't support. ) I just believe in treating people well, not effing them over, you know, being excellent to each other. But I also believe in sense. You know, you want to look after people, but you  gotta understand the parameters of the world.

If you found a wallet with money it, $10, $90, $1000, you'd try and find the owner or you'd hand it in to the police station. Or you do both. Once I found a wallet in from of my house and I tracked down the owner on Facebook and told her which police station I'd taken her wallet to. Boy did I feel good about myself. If you found a bag with heaps of cash in it, you'd take that to the police station too. But $90 sitting in the street, the person that lost that knows they are never getting it back. Lost cash is one of life's little mysteries and tragedies. When you lose a bit of cash like that you wonder how you could have been so foolish. You look around, and if you find a message saying "Hey! Did you lose something here? I found it, please call me." Then you call the number on that sign. Presuming you left a number. You left a number, right mate? But there is no way a person is hanging on to the hope of finding that $90 two weeks after they lost it. You have to make peace with lost cash basically the day you lose it because you know there is no way it is coming back to you.

That money is yours mate. 

What now? (AM)

When I was little and growing up as a tiny  catholic, I used to really worry that God would send me a calling and I would have to become a nun. Catholicism is littered with stories of saints who were just regular folk, going about their business until God called them to his flock. I was very worried this would happen to me and the life that I was making for myself (watching cartoons on Saturday morning, trailing around after my brothers, hoping that the cool kids would accept me) would be over. I liked my life. I didn't want it to be over. I was concerned. 

At first I thought I would just ignore the calling if it came. They seemed to be pretty private affairs, so if I got one in a dream or something, then who would know right? Right? Wrong. Apparently ignoring a call is pretty much the worst thing you can do, worse than murder. Funny how ignoring a call from God will send you to hell forever, but ignoring abuse perpetrated upon hundreds of children will make you a cardinal and let you vote on who gets to be pope. But that's a puzzle for another time. 

As it turned out, I never got a call and I never had to face god's test, and so phew for me. But I was reminded of all this the other day when I faced another test. While walking home from the tram stop, I found a pineapple and two lobsters on the ground, and I am not talking about fruit and crustaceans.   I'm talking ducats. Filthy lucre. Cash money. Just lying on the ground with no visible owner. 

It was a thrilling and alarming discovery. Finding money is the best. But finding so much money? That's quite distressing. The person who lost it would be so upset! I felt I couldn't take it because it was so much money.  But the person who lost it was nowhere to be seen. And I stood there for 10 minutes, waiting to for someone to come by, so I should know. So what was I to do? Leave it there for someone else to find? That didn't seem sensible at all. I was being tested and I didn't know what to do. And Appleheart was not answering his phone because he was at home watching his favourite program, If You Are The One.  Eventually a gust of wind and along and started to scatter the money about the place and for some reason, this prompted me to scoop it up and quickly walk home. But I knew the test wasn't over. So I made this sign and stuck it up on the lamppost right next to where I found it. 

Then I waited for two weeks. No call. 

So, like, is the test over? Is the cash money mine? I'm still confused.