What are you doing with your life? (AM)

Since Newbie was born I haven't been out much, you know out at night, like a grown up and without children. Sure I saw Justin Timberlake. And lord knows I saw Damon Albarn.

But other than the very odd night you can pretty much bet you'll find me home any night of the week. On Friday night I went out and when Miguel, Legsly and David picked me up it was pretty clear that we were a bunch of parents, all exhausted and giggling with the heady anticipation of seeing music and drinking beer sans enfants. It was retarded.

Two Bright Lakes were putting on a farewell gig after 8 years of putting out records and putting on parties and generally showing Melbourne a good time. These guys have some really good bands on their list. Had 'em anyway. Music to sway to, music to dance to. Boy do they have some music to dance to. And right in the middle of the dance floor on  Friday night dancing to Collarbones I remembered how effing good dancing is. I mean, I know how good it is, I know I love it, I do it in my living room and sometimes I do it in other people's living room but doing it on a dance floor - that my friends is truly one of life's great joys. And I had to ask myself, "Why the eff don't you do this more?!?"  I love dancing, really a lot and I started to really think about how I could get it into my life more and why I don't do it more and why I don't prioritise things that are my favourite things. And I started to question other things in my life too, like why aren't I in a band. Oh sure, David, Miguel and I sought to solve this problem by forming a band on Friday night but we've been forming bands on Friday nights for the last 15 years so I doubt this is going to change things.

I don't want to complain about my life, my sons and boyfriend are great, my life is nice but seriously, what am I doing with my life that I don't dance more. And if I'm doing that wrong what else am I doing wrong?!

Also, how can I fit more dancing in while also fitting more sleeping in? More productivity as well as more relaxation. And when will I earn enough money to hire a cleaning lady? I guess at a time when I am actually earning some money. Baby thinks I love cleaning because he basically sees me doing it constantly. He has actually told me that. Seriously, what am I doing with my life? I wanna dance!

Goodbye David and Margaret (PM)

When I heard David and Maragret were retiring I actually felt like crying. Not sobbing, I just felt like tearing up a little, like when Heath Ledger died or something. 

That whole day I felt sad and kept wanting to talk about it, like when Philip Seymour Hoffman died. That's how I felt, like some distant yet  present... presence was lost. And then I kept telling myself to man the hell up. But as I've been watching At the Movies over the last few weeks I really have felt the weight of sadness of the loss of some distant intangible thing. 

For much longer than it should have, the presence of hunks heavily influenced my movie-going but even back then it was good  to know what we were in for. And it was exciting that a film you'd waited for had finally arrived. Or would on Thursday. 

Even though movies are so shit these days I still love the idea of them and it's so nice to spend half an hour on Tuesday night thinking about them. I'm gonna miss that time with Margaret and David.