Highlights (AM)

Today I'm bringing you a brief round up of highlights from the week. Best thing I saw is probably a toss-up between what I saw in my brain eyeballs yesterday morning in a dream that involved Jonah Hill and Leonardo DiCaprio fighting and the Instagram account called Mandy Patinkin's Beard, which is great because it blends pictures of Mandy Patinkin with hilarity. And although you may not have ever realised it  this is a winning combination that makes he world a better place.

Best thing I ate was probably a delicious escargot type thing I got from the Tivoli Street Bakery which had pistachios and custard but although it was delicious I kind of regretted not getting a croissant because I just want to understand all the croissants of Melbourne.

But the best thing I heard was something Baby said to me on the bus yesterday. There was a print ad on the bus for a disposable, water-free toothbrush from Colgate. Below is a Spanish version of the ad.  The one we saw was definitely busier with more images and text but it still had those black fingers holding a toothbrush.

And Baby was asking me all about the ad and then he asked me why a penguin was holding the toothbrush.

My phoney life (AM)

Because J has been posting photos of her holiday on the face space, I thought I would turn to my phone and see what story its recent photos tell.

It's a fairly predicable one...full of stuff to eat and see and think about. But some of it is noteworthy.

Like this truly explosive snake art on the bonnet of a Holden Barina that is sometimes parked on my street.

Really makes you think.

Then there's this.

Some delicious quail, wrapped in proscuitto I ate at Bar Idda recently.

That's Russeth making a lewd hand gesture in the background. I'm not sure whether that hand gesture is  an established thing, but I get where he was going with it.

Here's a drink I had at some fancy curry place in Northcote the other day.

It's called Birch Beer. The dude who sold it to me told me that it's made with some part of the birch tree and brewed in waters of a stream that runs off Niagara Falls. His spiel had me rolling my eyes very very heavily, but because of my FOMODT I ordered it. It tasted exactly and I mean EXACTLY like Deep Heat. And it wasn't even alcoholic. But I drank it all.

There's this picture.

Spinal what? Injury? Tap? Inquiring minds need to know more.

Here's a picture from Cape Bridgewater, down near Portland.

It's of windmills and ocean and Appleheart, a fine gentleman I'm knocking around with. After this, we saw a bunch of fur seals, kangaroos and a petrified forest, and then I ate a fig. It was an excellent day.

Finally, here's a picture of Midbro and Little nut doing a Britney Spears.

It's OK, the car was stationary.

Now let's see what J's got for us!

The Miss Soft Crab Brownlow wrap up

After the success of the 2011 Brownlow Blue Carpet Wrap Up, Miss Soft Crab could not wait to get ringside for the 2012 extravaganza on Monday night.
Would the lazy susan be back?
Would Jimmy Bartel's girlfriend finally realise what a good wicket she is on and smile for once?
Would Twigley look ridiculous? (we didn't really wonder about this)

As usual, Miss Soft Crab answers all your questions through the text messages we exchanged  during the broadcast. J's special comments in grey, mine in green.

I don't know what a Fango is, but the Tango is a dance. 

The Cooneys are lovely, but underboob really should be neither seen nor heard.

You can't really see it here, but it's there. 

As for Lady Jobe...

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
I love you a little bit, Jobe.

More of Twigley later...
At this point, Trent and Lady Cotchin arrived, wearing something that looked inspired by a chaise lounge.

Am I right?

Baby is beautiful, he's right.

Sometimes our text messages don't make a lot of sense. Someone says something about one guy, then the other one responds with a comment about some other guy. It's a mess. But it always ends up with us wondering where Jimmy is. Anyway, here are Nick and Lady Nat:

And Toma and Ladyhawke:

Back to the broadcast...

Because they didn't show him ALL NIGHT, here is a picture of Jimmy for you, readers.

Now that's a face that has Brownlow written all over it. What? I don't know. But where the hell was Jimmy?

J said it best:

Seriously producers, what the eff. And seriously Twigley, what the eff.

Someone put a party pie in that woman's mouth, seriously.
That's basically all the red carpet had to offer and frankly, it was very disappointing. The count itself didn't really improve things. No Jimmy. Barely any Dees players got votes. No Jimmy.

J was smart and started watching the Emmys.

J meant 'love'. She can't help but love Gary.
Meanwhile, the lacklustre broadcast was made worse by the fact that they kept cutting to what looked like a fluro-lit RSL in Sydney where all the swans were. It was weird.

Does anyone know if Goodesy has a girlfriend? Because obviously the only thing standing between us is some other woman. Otherwise it would be on like Donkey Kong.

Meanwhile, J was watching the Emmys.

Aaron Paul plays Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad. We love Jesse Pinkman. He won an Emmy!
And Jobe Watson won the Brownlow.
For some reason, J started referring to Jobe Watson as my boyfriend. Sure, why not.

#hot

So that was it really. In summary, a very boring Brownlow with hardly any hunks and boring dresses. Just like the 2012 season.

At this point, I'm turned the tele off and probably started looking at pictures of Jimmy on the internet or something.
Then, I got this message from J:

I hope you made it out, Mate.

Just some stuff I ate and saw and thought about (PM)

Hey, guess who's hands those are in that picture of Barbie Edward Cullen? Mine. I really should have exited the frame but I couldn't stop staring.

My hands are here too, holding the new Sow What When? calendar I just got from the Diggers Club.

It tells me what plants I should sow, and when, so I can have a verdant balcony garden. I've been looking at it a lot lately. Right now my balcony looks like this:

Semi-verdant

It's got a long way to go.

When it comes to what I have eaten lately, look no further than this.

It's the salted caramel spread I made on the weekend, ostensibly to audition it for chutney club but really, so I can put it all in my mouth. I planned to make some banana pancakes to serve it with, but I made the mistake of tasting a little bit first and since then, I have just been eating it out of the jar with a spoon. I never made the pancakes. I did drizzle (dollop) some on a banana at one point. Delicious.

Just some stuff I ate and saw and thought about (AM)

So, I don't know if you guys have ever noticed, but basically this blog is just some stuff we ate and saw and thought about. Sure sometimes that stuff comes from our brains. But sometimes, when we are lucky, that stuff gets caught on camera.

So I thought you may be interested in seeing some of the stuff I've eaten, seen, and thought about lately. Here goes.

First, some things I ate:

Jokies, I didn't eat a pigeon. I just saw this pigeon drinking some water in the city and thought it looked really cute.

I did eat this pie though. After it was cooked of course. When it looked like this:

It had a delicious buttery pastry and a filling of chilli beans, corn and potato. When it was cooked the eggs were a little runny. And yes, it was DELICIOUS! Couldn't eat that in summer, no sirree.

You know what else I ate recently? Some delicious carrots and beetroot.

Maybe it doesn't look so appetising, but it does look like a found cock! HAHA!

But seriously folks, recently  I was at the zoo and I saw so many mind blowing things, including some green frogs that sat really flat on leaves and had adorable peaceful smiles. They were to small to photograph well, but these iguanas weren't! Iguanas are awesome!

 Oh, and did you know I saw Prince recently?

 Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Just like I couldn't resist taking a photo of these Twilight Edition Barbies K and I saw recently. Yes, that is Bella Barbie and Sparkleface Barbie. WTF?! Look at their faces? They look nothing like Bella and Sparkleface. Mattel just think they can just stick a Barbie in a box with packaging telling you they are Twilight Barbie and people will buy it?! In fact I'm pretty sure that Sparkleface Barbie is just a Chuck Bass Barbie repackaged. What? Why wouldn't they have Gossip Girl Barbie? Crazy times people! Anything is possible.

Let's have a wonderful weekend! (AM)

Remember how on Monday I told you what an awesome week I was going to have?

Well I have had a pretty great week, and I want to tell you about it. But there is too much to say.

Like I want to tell you about how Prince really was the best. THE BEST! But I need more time, I mean, shit you guys, did you see all the stuff I had on this week, I can't give Prince the time he deserves right now.

And I would like to tell you about the delicious meal I had last Saturday at Sunnybrae in Birregurra. A delightful restaurant with surrounds that look like this:

 

And food like this rhubarb and apple souffle with mandarin sorbet, which, like an idiot, I did not order.

Idiot!

And a cute dog that tried to hitch a ride back to Melbourne with us:

And, I really want to tell you how I saw a new hairdresser this week and, you guys, I think he may be the one! I know, I am really excited.

But, if I've learned anything by watching Risky Business a bunch of times, it's that sometimes you've just gotta say what the fuck. Sure, I'll tell you about Prince one day and my new hairdresser. But not today. Today I do what I want. But don't think I'm not thinking about you guys too!

Let's have a wonderful weekend!!!

And if that don't do it for you this should:

By George, I thought I had it (AM)

You know on the whole, I kind of hate my hair. Every now and again I like it, and then I hate it again. Then I wash and dry it and I kind of like it again. On the bad days I fixate on getting a cut and colour, and while I do get cuts and that often helps a lot, it kind of is amazing how far a wash and blow dry will take it. And I am beginning to think that in a way this is like a metaphor for so many of my First World problems.

Recently I actually booked myself in to colour my hair, which I haven't done in many years, nowadays I go au naturel, but I just got obsessed. Anyways I was broke and nervous about starting the dye cycle so I just got my eyebrows tinted instead. I cannot recommend this highly enough. If you are anything like me you will look really pretty after it and it's about a fifth of the price of having your hair coloured.

Need new clothes? Do some washing! You wouldn't believe how often that alleviates my wardrobe woes! If that is not enough see if your mum has any clothes from the eighties that are cool again!

Check out this jumper I scored on the weekend:

SCORE!

This is pretty much my fall back plan whenever I want new stuff but don't want to buy anything. And I was pretty sure that my Mum's old shoe collection would yield some shoes for me to wear to Blizzie's wedding on the weekend. And it did.

This would be the perfect shoe to wear to the with my dress:

And this, although it looks boring, is actually a very comfortable and surprisingly fitting alternative:

Sweet.

Except for some reason only these shoes can be found. That is only that single purple shoe and that single brown shoe seem to exist. Their buddies are missing. On the up side that purple shoe is a lefty and the brown one is a righty so they do make a pair. On the  down side I'm not going to wear odd shoes to a wedding.* I don't want to look like a fucken' idiot.


*In fact it is highly unlikely I would wear odd shoes anywhere ever. This is not a weddings-only rule.

Treasured memories of Hobart (PM)

No wonder you haven’t stopped thinking about Hobart, Mate. It’s only one of the world’s best places.

You know, David went the week before us and when I asked him how it was he emailed me and said ‘Spectacular, excellent, and wonderful.’ I thought he had to be overstating it but basically I feel like I my experience was exactly those things! Chickpea kept saying she wanted to move there. Man, I wish she would! You know, so I had an excuse to visit more.

Then perhaps we can all move there! Why wouldn’t we:



The view from MONA! I know, right?!





K and art.

Chickpea and Baby checking out the art. Everytime Baby liked an art he would say "I love it! Have it!"



MONA's Moo Brew on the boat home from MONA. Effing yum!

Thor Friendship by night. Thor Friendship is coming!

Remember the cheese?!

 

Up close and personal with that sweet, ripe cheese



Leaving Bruny Island. Why did we have to leave?!