2012: The year that was

Well readers, we've finally made it to the end of the year. Not literally. Just according to the Miss Soft Crab calendar. Yesterday,  I finished work for the year (it's me, K by the way...hi you guys) and I can't tell you how great that is.
I'm writing this from bed you know. From bed!

So great. Anyway, it's J's last day today, so soon we will all be on holidays and so its time to share our final crabby words for the year. 


And what better way to end the year than look back over it and talk about it? Heaps of better ways maybe, but we'll never know because we chose this one. Lets begin!





K:  So let’s talk 2012!

J:  Ok! How was it for you?

K:  Um, kind of fast. How was it for you?

J:  Yeah. Real fast. But to be honest I am kind of excited it's over. The first half kind of sucked. And the second half was fine but boring. I'm excited about next year. But this is a retrospective, not a forwospective.

K:  Yeah, it was a perfectly fine year for me too, but I would prefer if 2013 was shit-hotter.But 2012 had some great moments including:

The Blizzie wedding. 
Prince!

J:  It's true. 2012 may have had lowlights, but Prince was a lifetime highlight. LIFETIME! Do you hear what I am saying? It was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I want to make that absolutely clear.

K:  I'm so glad you took the bait Mate, I thought mentioning Prince would fire you up.

J:  Oh, and Blizzie's wedding was great too.

K:  I liked the bit where little Nut was born. That was a pretty big highlight. And the bit where Pickle moved back to Melbs. And Hobart. As discussed last week. I loved Hobart so much.

That reminds me, I saw both Chickpea and Russeth on my way to work yesterday. Chickpea rode past me on Nicholson Street when I was waiting for the tram.Then Russeth got on my tram!

J:  Ha. Small world, uh? 

So yeah, Pickle's return was definitely a highlight.Hobart, of course. That was the best. Seeing how beautiful Hobart was. Eating each meal twice a day. Going on boats. MONA! I loved it. Also, the birth of Thor Friendship was a highlight! Seeing Ira Glass all the way back in January!

K:  Ira! Of course! Thor Friendship! Of course!

Let’s talk food highlights. Did we have any ramjets dinners this year?

J:  NO! Those slackarse ramjets! I don't think the highlights were as amazing this year. No ramjets

No Estelle.  But there were some highlights, right? Anniversary rum baba!

K:  Oh that's for sure. The rum baba we ate at Cumulus Inc. for our Miss Soft Crab anniversary dinner while sipping Prunella Mandorlata

J:  Prunella Mandorlata was a definite highlight

K:  Definitely. We need to start a MSC liquor cabinet...

J:  Hells yeah. HEY! How about those potato on a stick things we had at Golden Plains?! Not classy but delicious. Nordic dinner was good. I think that the food we made was more mind-bending than most of the stuff I ate at restaurants.

K:  Yeah, the Nordic dinner was a triumph. Remember those cinnamon buns Miguel made? And the cinnamon snowflake ice cream sandwiches you made which continue to blow my mind and I don't even like ice cream that much (though maybe I actually do...I seem to be changing...)

J:  Dude, you like ice cream. It’s time to admit it.

K:  Well shit Mate, maybe that's what will go down as the most memorable thing that happened to me in 2012...I opened my heart to ice cream...

J:  Maybe. I mean that is a good thing. So Mate, how about lowlights?

K:  Look, if there have been some lowlights, I don't really know what they are. What have I got to complain about? Nothing, that's what. BUT, if I had to say something, I would say the lack of supply within the hunk pipeline is a growing concern for me.

J:  Definitely! The birth of HotMC should have been a year highlight but it’s highlighted the lack of hunks - and that is a lowlight. So many lights! And how about our disappointing anniversary dinner at Mamasita?!  And theOscars and the hunk lack?! LOWLIGHT!

K:  All of these things have had the lights down low. Also, the lights are literally down low at my house because I think there is some dodgy wiring going on so a bunch of the lights don't work. I've actually been meaning to ask LB to have a look at it - do you think he could help?

J:  Maybe. He could have a look. And what a bummer.

K:  Yeah, it's a bit of a drag.

J:  So, anything else touch you this year?

K:  Hey, at the risk of sounding like someone who would say this, another highlight for me has been watching Baby grow up a little bit and become even more adorable. I'm really digging on that whole thing.

J:  Oh, dude, I didn't want to be the one to say it but you are so right! The kid just gets better and better. Like that time he said to me, "You look beautiful. But some of the other boys don't know it.' So cute, and so true!

K:  Oh my. We've been saying that to one another for years and now the fruit of your loins is saying it to you! It's so much cuter when it comes from the mouths of babes though, right?

But Baby saying it is cute too.

J:  HA!

K:  Nyuck nyuck nyuck

J:  Hey mate did you have an MSC highlight?

K:  Ooh, good question. I liked multi-faith Haiku Thursday. And I'm sure there were some other great moments but I'm still laughing at that thing I said about 'from the mouths of babes' before so I'm a little distracted. What about you?

J:  HAHAHA. Yeah, that was funny what you said two minutes ago. But so was Multi-faith Haiku Thursday. Definitely some of our best work. I also liked the official birth of FC.

K:  How could I forget?!The official birth of FC has been one of the great things about 2012 for sure.

J:  Yeah. It has.

Um... so what do you say mate, should we blow this popsicle stand so that we can hit the Miss Soft Crab Christmas party, or what?

K:  You know it girl! There's a rum baba out there with our names on it!

Merry Christmas and happy new year, crab friends!

 J:  Yeah, have a great one y'all!

Favourites list - 2012 (PM)

I completely agree about bed. That's going to be a favourite of mine until they put me in a bed in the ground. Also Pinkman and getting drunk at the end of the year.

But here are some others.

My garden. I love my garden so much that sometimes, when I look at it, it makes my heart swell up in my chest a little bit.

This year, I put some astro-turf down and got some new plants, like hydrangeas and a gardenia. Of course, I like to eat a lot.
Oops! Of what I grow. That sentence was meant to say I like to eat a lot of what I grow. This year, I have planted capsicum, strawberries, jalapenos and of course, tomatoes which have begun to fruit. From the first, this tomato plant has been my favourite.

It's such a bonnie boy. I love all my plants of course, but this one. This one is my pride and it is my joy.

Coconut and chocolate butter. The other day, I was at that organic shop on Lygon Street getting some eggs and flour, when I happened upon this product.

I didn't know what I was going to do with it, but I knew I wanted it. I bought it then and there and since then, have been eating it out of the jar with a spoon because I still don't really know what to do with it but I know I want it in my mouth.

Running. Exercise has never been my favourite thing, but running has traditionally been my least favourite of all the exercisey things. But then, things changed. I got sick of trying to avoid running wherever possible. I started doing it a little on the treadmill at the gym. Then doing that more. Then doing more still. Then I started feeling kind of good for ages afterwards. I guess it would be fair to say I started liking it.

The other night, Pickle and I went for a run around Princes Park. I know that's something you guys probably do all the time, but not this crablet. Until Tuesday, I had never once run around Princes Park. But now I've done it and once Pickle makes me that mix tape of running songs she told me about, and once we get Miguel to make us both a new mix tape of running songs, I am going to do the shit out of it again.

The time we went to Hobart. At the moment, I have a pretty big crush on Tasmania. Perhaps this is making me see the world through apple-coloured glasses, but I feel like the time that Chickpea, J and Baby went to Hobart belongs on this list of favourite things for 2012. Eating and drinking and gazing at beautiful things with my favourite people was perhaps the loveliest time I had this year. Is it not the loveliest time one can have? I think it is, and may it always be.

Favourites list - 2012 (AM)

Oh shit! This year is almost over. And if there is one thing I like to do at the end of the year it is get drunk. And if there is another thing I like to do at the end of the year it is reflect on what I have loved that year. Am I right? So here is my 2012 favourites list. Some of these things are long time favourites, some are new. Some will continue to be favourites, others will probably also continue to be favourites. 

Bed. Seriously, is there ever a night that you get into bed and think, ‘Nah, this is not that good’? Lying down when you are really tired and you got that doona all up on you, there are really few things I love more. 

An appropriate amount of spread.  In this age of excess nothing is safe. Vendors of Smith Street, hear me now, a cinnamon and raisin bagel needs just a schmear of cream cheese. It just gives it a little tang and moistness, by no means does it need spoonfuls. And Vegemite, and this is coming from a salt freak, a girl whose own sister can not tolerate the amount of Vegemite I put on toast, Café Rosamond, I like you a lot, but chill the fuck out on the Vegemite.

Brevity. Lately Baby has gotten in to kids movies. There are some really good ones out there and you know what one of their best qualities is? Brevity. A kids movie goes for 80, maybe 90 minutes. Now that is a movie length. An adults movie should go for maybe 100 minutes, max! Two hours if it's really good or there’s something special to say. Hollywood, take note: more than that is too long, so chill the fuck out!

Jesse Pinkman.  From the first episode of Breaking Bad I pretty much loved Jesse. Dude was a skanky meth-cooking, meth-smoking skank in those days, but he was so adorable. Sweet and vulnerable and kind of caring. The guy goes through a lot of shit and has to do some shitty things but he is just this fucking sweetheart. A while ago I said to K, ‘I love Jesse Pinkman. I love him!’ And she laughed at me. About 2 weeks later, after she had caught up on a bit more BB K said to me, ‘I love Jesse Pinkman. I love him!’  Between Vince Gilligan and Aaron Paul I think they have created genius. Jesse Pinkman is a work of genius. And I love him

Coconut lotion SPF30+. I’ll reapply you every four hours!

The next year (PM)

I grew my fringe out once, but because my hairline is sharp and jagged like a rocky coastline it looked really dumb and so I cut that fringe back in and I've never looked back. Except, of course, for every single day, when I look at my hair in the mirror and remember that I hate its guts and wonder whether I should grow my fringe out. But realistically, given that I've had this haircut for 15 years now, 2012 is unlikely to introduce any changes on that front.
#orwillit

Guys, I'd love to stay and chat about my hair (seriously, I would totally love to do that) but it turns out that work is really really busy at the moment and there is precious little time for the stuff that I ate, saw and thought about. I know, I'm a disappointment to myself.

I promise to think about my hair more in 2012. 

The next year (AM)

I don't make new years resolutions. Who does?! Pretty much every week I think to myself that I'm going to work out heaps or eat better and then I don't and at least I can try and rectify that next week, but if you fuck that up for a whole year that's a whole year of disappointment in yourself. And a whole year you have to wait till you can sort it out. So new years resolutions, forget that.

Still there are things that are pretty likely to happen next year. Things that if you could bank on certainty would certainly happen. And that is why I kind of love the start of a new year. It somehow gives you this sense of hope and positivity for the next 12 months that just thinking about 12 months, say from June, doesn't give you.

Like next year, God willing, my fringe is going to grow out totally for the first time in years. I know this because I am absolutely not going to cut it and it is so close to being grown out. In just a matter of months it is going to be as if my fringe never existed. Don't get me wrong, I look cute in a fringe, but I just don't want one and I am so sick of the grow out phase. Before I get to the point of total grow out I always get frustrated and cut it. But not this time. NO WAY! 

On top of that the rest of my hair is only going to keep getting longer too! YEAH!

Miss Soft Crab is going to turn 1! And on top of that we will no doubt come up with some hilarious hash tags on Twitter. And in life. This year has not been a  bad one. First, Miss Soft Crab was born. Then we discovered hash tags! I know that these are meant to be used so that people can find what you are talking about, but my god they are so much more than that! K and I have pretty much abandoned regular language in our text messages to each other and write predominantly in hash tags. So I can't wait to see what new hash tags next year brings.

Also next year a bunch of other great things will happen! There will be hilarity, no doubt at least a little dancing, some delicious food. Chances are some bad things will happen too. I'm not deluded, but let's just hear it for the new year!

2012 (PM)

Isn't the 21st century the best! 


To be fair I have only lived in one other century and it was pretty good too. In fact in that century I didn't order things off the internet then sit by my door on the internet tracking a things' whereabouts and waiting for its arrival.  I used to leave the house to buy things, go for walks and when I couldn't get things I made peace with it. Not now. I want all the stuff now, because I know I can have it.

As for 2012, I have no idea how that will go. I guess I will probably buy some more stuff. Not a diary though because: i) I don't have enough engagements to justify one; and ii) I don't have any idea what is going to happen in 2012 and I like it that way and maybe having a diary will change that . 

2012 (AM)

Sample only, not actual diary I bought

The other day I bought a 2012 diary from this website. Here is a list of all the things I thought immediately after I bought it.

• Awesome. Now I have a 2012 diary, everything is going to be great. 
• I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I'm pretty sure 2012 is going to be the best year ever. 
• I am going to be so organised because I will have this new diary, which I just bought online.
• How great is buying shit online? 
• Really great, that's how great. So efficient. Just like I'm going to be when I get my new diary.  
• I honestly can't wait to fill that diary with all the great things I am going to do in 2012. 
• Yeah, that's right. New great diary = new great things to do.
• I might even start calling 2012 twenty twelve, instead of two thousand and twelve. 
• I just think it's where I am at in my life.

Yestesterday, I got an email telling me that my diary had been dispatched. It included a tracking number so I could track my diary's passage to me. Here is a list of all the things I thought when I got the email.

• Oh man, if there is one thing better than buying stuff online, it's tracking the stuff you have bought online! 
•  Lets here it for the 21st century! Best century yet.

*clicks on link*

• What the....
• What do you mean No information about this item?
• You'd better have my item, Australia Post!

*clicks link again*

•  Oh geez, get it together Australia Post.  How long does it take to update a system? It's been three minutes!

*clicks link again, three or four times*

• This is a bunch of BS!

 ***time lapse of several hours***

*clicks on link again*

• Oh, score! 
• There it is!
• It's been Manifested!
• Manifested?
• WTF?
• WTF is Manifested? 
• Why can't it just tell me where it is! Like, exactly where it is. In a truck, on a shelf somewhere - I don't care, just tell me!
• Where is it?
• Where is it! 
• Where is it! 
• Where is it!
• Where is it!
• Where is it!
• Where is it!
• Where is it?
• ....
• .....
• ..........
• .............

 I'm not proud of any of this, and I really hope it isn't a portent of how 2012 is going to go. The highs and lows! Sheesh.  I really do think having the diary will help though. And perhaps it will be in my mitts by they time you guys are reading this.