Oh dear

Well I've finally lost it. Last night I dreamt I had an adjoining hotel room with Michelle and Barrack Obama. They were lovely by the way.  

Shivers (AM)

I'm going back to work in a little over a month. I can barely believe it's been almost a year. And also that it's only been a year, and that there was a time pre-KB. The other day I was looking at a photo of some place Appleheart and I had been and I thought to myself I wonder who was looking after KB that night. It was 2013. Anyway, I'm going back to work and I guess I'm a little freaked out about it. That's all. 

Highlights of a weekend where I ate well but lacked focus (AM)

On Friday night, I drank vodka on an empty stomach. Then, I did that about 50 more times.
What followed was one of the most ineffectual weekends of my life. Honestly, I feel sorry for the people that had to interact with me this weekend.  Talking and making sense, keeping focussed on what other people were saying, observing basic rules of human interaction like not yawning in people's faces - all of this was pretty hard for me over the last couple of days. And I kind of had a lot of stuff to do, like:

• make chutney
• attend chutney club
• interact with my brothers and sisters of chutney
• make something out of Plenty for the second Plenty Pot Luck dinner
• attend the second Plenty Potluck dinner
• interact with my sisters of plenty (I love how that sounds like a religious order). 

So it wasn't a good time to say goodbye to cognitive function. And the really unfortunate thing about it is that it was a weekend that involved a lot of really great food that I would have loved to have talked about today. But do you think I managed to photograph all that delicious stuff? No way, no how, readers. Happily, J was on hand to be the sensible and responsible one so this afternoon we should be able to count the ways we ate so well on Saturday. I'm on my own for Sunday's Plenty Pot Luck of course, but I was feeling a bit better by then.

Anyway, before J sweeps in this afternoon and returns respectability to Miss Soft Crab,  I can share the following snaps that I managed to take during brief moments of lucidity.

Here we have the chutney table, at the beginning of the session.
David pickled some beans and then turned them in to a salad that was like a sauce gribiche, but in salad form. With prawns!

Miguel made leek and garlic jam that he lathered on toasted cheese sandwiches for all of us.

Blizzie made tomato and tamarind chutney, which they served with delicious bagels and cheese.

Some other people we don't know grew some grapes then made them ferment and carbonated them and turned them in to prosecco which everyone seemed to enjoy a lot. I had a can of coke (not pictured).

I'm afraid that's the only  chutney photo I have to share, with the exception of the one at the top of this post, which is what it looks like when Miguel uses tongs to put a toasted sandwich on your plate and the following, which is what it looks like when a dog wears a baby's bib.

I can say that David and Welly were first class hosts and a lovely time was had by all, even me and I'm not sure that would have been possible anywhere else.

Right, on to Sunday night.  Crimpy hosted Legsley and I for the second Plenty Pot Luck dinner, which is what we call it when we get together and eat things we make from the book Plenty.

I made the Very Full Tart which is Very Effing Good. Legsley made a zucchini and hazelnut salad which was delicious and Crimpy made eggplant croquettes (not pictured). (Idiot).

Again, it was a lovely time and Crimpy was (as always) a first class host.
As you can see, I'm still a little tired and spaced out, so I think it's best for everyone if I press on. Don't worry readers, I'll be fine, and J will be here in the afternoon to make everything better.

What's wrong with this picture? (PM)

I like the bit where she (and I am confidently assuming the seller is a she) underlined the word trilogy, because obviously western literature has a great tradition of trilogies and as part of that tradition, it makes sense that we would drop twenty clams on her used books.

I can understand why someone would read 50 Shades of Grey because their friend lends it to them, and they figure they might as well see what all the fuss is about.
But reading all three? And thinking well enough of them that you can only sell them as a unit?
What kind of a sick fuck would do that?

Touching the void (PM)

Wow. I gotta tell ya, Mate, when I started reading your post this morning I did not see where it was heading. Not at all.

You know what is the saddest part? That the woman who was about to piss in your garden had the toilet paper with her. And yet, it is also a happy part, because who wants to do a piss without toilet paper on hand.

But why didn't that woman just go to one of the many businesses nearby, a cafe, the gym - Fit RIG - any number of places that may have toilets. Or a laneway? I am confident there are more discreet places nearby than your fenceless garden. Things have got to be pretty bad for that lady. I guess there is something else altogether going on here.

Um, my Sunday was really nice.