Thursday, April 28, 2016

This post has few words (PM)

Blogging and parenting is hard.


This post has few words (AM)

I just wrote a long post which was kind of confessional about how I feel like I'm not doing a great job of MSC posts since KB came along, and how I guess I feel like I'm not doing a great job of anything since KB came along. It was full of reflection and soul-searching and ended with me saying I'm not sure if things are going to get better soon, but bit by bit i'm sure they will. There were also some cute anecdotes about KB and some cute pictures like this one:

And this one:

But as per usual, the blogger site crashes or something and didn't save my post. Um, talk about insensitive, you guys. So readers, let me just say things will get better but by bit and pleas hang in there with me. 




Thursday, April 21, 2016

Evil Internet (PM)

Taking a photo to make your life look great for the Internet might be easy, but getting KB to pose for this photo was quite hard. 
But it was worth it readers! Look at that crabby tuchas! 

Evil internet (AM)



First, let me apologise for the lateness of this post. I posted this morning from my phone, my phone even showed me in safari that it had worked and then when I came back to see if K had posted I saw that this wasn't here. Just another example of some fucked up shit going on online. 

All the blogs, the instagram they've just taken coveting to a new level. Fuck 'em. 

As if advertising and marketing and magazines weren't doing enough of that already the Internet came along and just took that shit on some kind of exponential journey where I basically can not see anything on the Internet without feeling like its just there to incite envy and then, often shopping. And that's because it is. On Instagram I follow a bunch of businesses and of course all there posts are ads, they're whole purpose in life is to make you covet something. Fine. And I follow a bunch of bloggers. And of course all there posts are ads in a sense too. For them or for their blogs which in turn are ads for them so they can get lucrative contracts, better advertising on their blogs, sell their books. Or their blogs are about stuff. Stuff you should buy. It's all fucking handcrafted and great quality so you can feel great about yourself when you spend fifty bucks on one mug but the truth is you just want that mug so you can look like the people on the Internet with the beautiful lives and beautiful things. But their lives are just lives, you know with all the shit you put up with, they just have more beautiful things. Or not. Anyone can take a photo that looks like a beautiful Internet life. It looks like they're doing cooler shit too, hell maybe they are but we're alright. 

And yes of course I'm getting so het up about it cause I'm a victim of it and now not only do I have to deal with all the regular shit of life and a surplus of coveting, I also have to deal with this self loathing borne of hating consumption but loving beautiful things. 

Ugh, I'm moving to the country where the surroundings are beautiful and I won't need all the stuff. (Looks like a good idea on the Internet.)

Monday, April 18, 2016

Magic Mike (or the other Channing Tatum post we had to have) (PM)

I saw Magic Mike at the movies and apart from feeling uncomfortable about all the hollering that was going on in the audience (for reals) I found it to be a very enjoyable experience. For all the reasons J mentioned, and also because it's a pleasure to watch trash sometimes. Aesthetically pleasing trash. 

As for Point Break. I wish I had something positive to say about it, but I do not. I only watched about 20 minutes of it, not because I was on a long haul flight with an infant 20 minutes of focus is about all you can hope for, but because I couldn't take the stupidity of it. I would have pinched KB awake if he hadn't naturally stirred, just to stop watching it.

A quick summary of stupid things about it that I discerned from my 20 minutes of watching:
1. Jonny Utah is not just a regular guy who used to be a shit hot footballer but busted his knee and then became an FBI agent for his grown up job. No. His is a former 'ultra athlete' or some shit who's best friend dies in a motor cross accident which prompts Jonny Utah to join an accelerated FBI training program. UGH. 

2. The ex-presidents aren't just surfers, they are ULTRA ATHLETES or some shit and aren't just chasing the 100 year storm, they are trying to do all kinds of ULTRA shit all over the world. 

3. Jonny Utah's love interest has gone from this:
(Read: Cool)
To this: 

Read: not cool. 
Forget you, Point Break. 

Magic Mike (or the other Channing Tatum post we had to have) (AM)



Saturday before last Pickle sent me a message asking what she should watch on TV that night. Our boyfriends were out of town together and I guess she thought that she and I would both be home watching TV that night. She was right. And she was right to ask me too, because I'd already looked up the TV guide to see what was on for Baby that night and then done a sweep of what was on for me. I answered her instantly: Magic Mike! That's what I'd be watching if it wasn't on at 9:45.  (As if I'm staying up that late to watch a movie.)

Turns out Pickle didn't even know what Magic Mike was. Even more surprising was I managed to stay up not just till 9:45, but even till midnight when the movie finished. Even when Newbie got out of be at 11:30 and wanted to be settled, I made him lie on the couch with me and watch the end of Magic Mike.

I was obviously pretty interested in watching Magic Mike. Partly because I'm always interested to explore my feelings for Channing Tatum but mainly because people liked that movie so I thought it may be just what I was after, not challenging and highly enjoyable. And I pretty much got exactly that. Steven Soderbergh directed it, after all and that guy obviously knows what he's doing. Despite Oceans Twelve and Thirteen. Magic Mike is shot really well, and very considerately. The days are full of  this warm saturated light and the nights are dark and seedy.

Apart from the well-craftedness, I just fucking love watching people dance, even if there is a weird uncomfortable sexual flavour too it. And Channing Tatum can really dance. And even the choreographed team stripper dances with weird unattractive strippers doing a bunch of pelvic thrusts were great to watch. If there's one thing I love more than watching a person dance it's watching a bunch of people dancing in unison. This isn't really a post about Channing Tatum, but while we are (barely) on the topic of him, I may as well tell you that since I first explored my feelings for him in late 2014 after seeing 22 Jump Street I've had more exposure to him, in the form of 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike, and while I'm not saying he is a hunk, I can now confirm that I think he is a reasonably charismatic actor who I am happy enough to watch in crappy movies.

Let me make no mistake about this movie, it followed a highly predictable story arc and was not in the least bit challenging, but the quite weird thing about Magic Mike though is that I actually thought about it for a few days afterwards. I don't know if it's because I haven't watched a whole movie in a really long time or if it was CT's dance moves but it kept coming back to me and then I realised maybe it was to do with the ending. Now, if you haven't seen it I should warn you I'm literally going to tell you what happened in the end. Channing Tatum gets the girl. But only once he gives up stripping to pursue his dream of making extremely ugly furniture. Now sure, Hollywood has a whole history of making men settle down for the right woman, but not like this. Usually the man makes a little compromise, but usually he's also made some uptight woman loosen up a little and then they can meet in the middle. It's the loose women of Hollywood cinema that have to die or give up there scandalous ways/partying lifestyle/murderous intentions/aversion to children so they can live happily ever after. Maybe that's what kept me thinking about Magic Mike, this turning on the head the domesticising of the man.

Who knows? I guess I just found the whole experience quite heartening. Imagine a world with Hollywood movies that were at once mindlessly entertaining but weren't completely shit and did an interesting thing or two. That's what Magic Mike hinted at. Oh joy.

And then K told me she watched the Point Break remake and her retelling of it killed every hope I had for Hollywood.

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Show(tunes) time! (PM)



I'm pretty much too cool for a lot of the schmaltzy shit K is into. But not musicals. I effing love musicals! Singing in the Rain! (Introduction to Hollywood Cinema A was a really good subject.) Annie! A little while ago Grease was on TV and Russeth and I had a real moment of mutual appreciation on Instagram, cause that movie is a real good time. I loved Cats as a kid (would probably love it now). Hedwig and the Angry Inch! I FUCKING LOVE THAT! Buffy (the musical episode)! I mean from Andrew Lloyd Webber to that East German transgender wannabe rock star, I love it all! Well, I love a lot of it. Basically I guess it comes down to the fact that music, singing and dancing are three of my favourite things and pretending there's a world where those things can spontaneously appear, well, that's just about the best thing ever, isn't it?

I don't know what Mrs K has against Gene Kelly. What a drag for her that she couldn't enjoy Singing in the Rain but great she may soon have the opportunity!

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Show(tunes) time! (AM)


My mum introduced me to musicals when I was very young. It started when we would listen to her Barbara Streisand tapes in the car on the way to drop my brothers off at school. One of Mum's favourite cassettes included Babs' rendition of Somewhere from West Side Story and Papa, can you hear me? from Yentyl. I would listen to those songs and feel special feelings in my heart, feelings I didn't feel when we would listen to the Men At Work cassingle Elderbro sometimes made us play. Then I saw Annie and I guess it's safe to say that everything changed after that. I realised that the special feelings could last for 90+ minutes when you hear them in situ. And magically, the more you watch them the more you feel special. Unlike the work of M Night Shyamalan which is really only good for one watch. I watched Annie on a weekly basis for much of my childhood and as such it is is stuck in my head in a way that the prayers of the catholic mass are stuck in my head. Every time I walked past/down Fifth Avenue while we were in NYC I would think "We found Fifth Avenue! Number one Fifth Avenue!". And every time I saw the Chrysler Building I would think about what an asshole Miss Hannigan was.*
But Annie was just the start. From then on I gobbled  musicals up in a way that would make Pacman look like a fussy eater. I watched everything I could get my hands on. Everything. All the Disney musicals. All the old timey musicals. Movies with music and singing in them like Bugsy Malone and Labyrinth.  I even watched Yentyl, you guys.

But there was one truly great musical that I didn't get to see until I was about 20, and that's Singing' in the Rain. My Mum hates Gene Kelly, you see, and I thought Fred Astaire was a bit of a twerp so I figured I hated Gene Kelly too and I avoided Singing in the Rain. Then it was on the syllabus for 'Introduction to Hollywood Cinema A' which was the kind  of thing I studied at university. I saw it because I had to and I loved it so much. 
Seeing that movie was instrumental in me cutting the apron strings, as they say because I thought Gene Kelly was great and that maybe my Mum didn't know what she was talking about. Thinking about that just now makes me think I should not let on to KB how I feel about Bradley Cooper, so he can just make up his own mind.
But now I see that Singing in the Rain is coming to Melbourne and I'm kind of excited about taking my Mum to see it, so she can experience it without having to experience her Bradley Cooper.






*i trust you all know what I'm talking about.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Harry Potter TM* (PM)


There is no way that I am going to dissuade anyone from going to the Harry Potter World at Universal Studios. It's advertised on US TV all the time and I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to go, and how close we are to being able to go and yet won't be going. Appleheart keeps saying that he wishes we were here for the New York primaries in a couple of weeks and I nod and sigh and commiserate though really I am feeling sad about missing Harry Potter world. I can't tell him that though. He hasn't read Harry Potter and wouldn't understand. He thinks my sad face is because I want to be around for an important moment in history. He doesn't know it's because I want to drink butter beer. To his credit, he knows that the fact our son has the same initials as Harry Potter is more than mere coincidence, and accepted that with grace. I can't wait for that little guy to start reading Harry Potter. 

*I don't know how to get the little TM thing to happen. How does that happen?

Harry Potter™ (AM)



I wonder if a time will ever come when I stop writing about Harry Potter. Seems pretty unlikely if I'm being honest. Right now I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

What with Baby constantly listening  to Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter and the Philisopher's Stone and asking questions about Harry's future it was inevitable I reread it sometime. When I first read Deathly Hallows I was pretty blown away with how good it was. I love the Harry Potter books, FYI and in case you hadn't noticed, but that last book was just something else. In fact I'd go so far as to say it is near perfect in terms of a series-ending book. The perfect amount of laughter and tears, twists and turns. An intricacy of detail that pulls together pretty perfectly. The answers to questions without excessive exposition. Ending a series has surely got to be the hardest thing to do. You have this invested audience that wants a happy ending but a realistic one, an ending that fits the preceding episodes. When I read Deathly Hallows I felt JK really nailed the shit out of it. And rereading it, I have to say I was right the first time. This book effing rules. In fact it's probably even better because knowing what happens gives new depth to what you're reading. 

Anyway here I am deep in Harry Potter™ world when I was looking at instagram last night and saw Mindy Kaling was at the opening of Harry Potter™World at Universal Studios. My first thought was that I should get on a plane to LA. It would be great to visit Mondonna. And then Harry Potter™ World. Apparently you can buy butterbeer there. I've always imagined it tasted like a wonderful mix of butter menthols and beer but with a warming quality, like when you add a little ginger wine to your beer. And I read on the Universal  website that Harry Potter™ World lets you "Explore the mysteries of Hogwarts™ castle, visit the shops of Hogsmeade™ and sample fare from some of the wizarding world’s best-known establishments. Plus experience pulse-pounding rides and attractions that transport you into a world of magical thrills and excitement." Sounds pretty good right? Though when I thought about "experiencing the fare of the wizarding worlds best known establishments," I thought of all the food I'd ever eaten at theme parks and realised I wouldn't be getting no gourmet meal prepared by house elves and it started to cast a pall on the whole idea of Harry Potter™ World. But only just. I still want to go. And I'm dreading finishing deathly Hallows because then what? Universal Studios here I come I guess. 

Monday, April 4, 2016

A new look (PM)

Dolly really is a magnificent bitch, isn't she? Coincidentally, she was on the American Country Music Awards on TV last night signing a duet with Katy Perry but I couldn't bring myself to watch it. 

Which brings me to why this post is so late. I fully expected to be awake most of the night like I have been since we got over here. I was going to take some of that time to write a super post about how I want my look to be akin to Andy Warhol's renderings of Debbie Harry.


But you guys! Baby KB slept all night and so did I! And today has been a busy and exciting day that included going to MOMA and a play reading where TV and film's Laura Linney commented on how cute KB is. You're goddamned right he is Laura Linney! And you are ageing brilliantly! So please accept my apologies, readers. 

A new look (AM)

Every morning for the last week and a half I've looked at this Andy Wathol painting of Dolly Parton and wondered how I can get this aesthetic into my look for the day.


I don't want a purple face and pink hair obviously, I just want to somehow capture what I love about this picture. The colours, the abundant hair, Dolly.

When I was at the Andy Warhol and Ai Weiwei exhibition and saw this painting I was sitting down in another room and looked behind me and high on a peach coloured wall were these two pictures of Dolly. Together they were really beautiful but I guess it was this one that really captured my attention. Or do I just think that because this is the one sold in postcard form? No I'm pretty sure I loved this one the best.

Needless to say I have not yet figured out how to embody this aesthetic. I think I'd probably need to make my hair big and curly and I probably need to wear some foundation that gives me really smooth beautiful skin. Then I probably need to wear some great coloured lipstick and eye makeup. And I probably need to work these colours into my outfit. Especially that pink

I think we all know that these are things are things I would just never do, not on some regular morning where my outings will most likely involve a school drop-off, getting a coffee down the street and a grocery shop. But I can't stop looking at her and wondering if there is another way. Right now I feel like this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I won't rest until I find a lazy way to embody it. Or get distracted by something else.

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Evil internet



All the blogs, the instagram they've just taken coveting to a new level. Fuck 'em. 

As if advertising and marketing and magazines weren't doing enough of that already the Internet came along and just took that shit on some kind of exponential journey where I basically can not see anything on the Internet without feeling like its just there to incite envy and then, often shopping. And that's because it is. On Instagram I follow a bunch of businesses and of course all there posts are ads, they're whole purpose in life is to make you covet something. Fine. And I follow a bunch of bloggers. And of course all there posts are ads in a sense too. For them or for their blogs which in turn are ads for them so they can get lucrative contracts, better advertising on their blogs, sell their books. Or their blogs are about stuff. Stuff you should buy. It's all fucking handcrafted and great quality so you can feel great about yourself when you spend fifty bucks on one mug but the truth is you just want that mug so you can look like the people on the Internet with the beautiful lives and beautiful things. But their lives are just lives, you know with all the shit you put up with, they just have more beautiful things. Or not. Anyone can take a photo that looks like a beautiful Internet life. It looks like they're doing cooler shit too, hell maybe they are but we're alright. 

And yes of course I'm getting so het up about it cause I'm a victim of it and now not only do I have to deal with all the regular shit of life and a surplus of coveting, I also have to deal with this self loathing borne of hating consumption but loving beautiful things. 

Ugh, I'm moving to the country where the surroundings are beautiful and I won't need all the stuff. (Looks like a good idea on the Internet.)

Friday, April 1, 2016

Positive things! (PM)

Great attitude K! Annoying transit really sucks, more so when there's a baby with you, but arriving in NYC really is good for what ails ya. And I'm totally on board with positive attitudes in the face of annoying situations. My situation is fine, really. I just have a load of washing to hang out, literally seven loads of washing to fold and put away, a pretty messy house I'd love to put away and this out of session blog post to write, but hey! Stay positive!

Right now I have one sleeping baby and a cup of tea to enjoy so who am I to complain!?

You know what else has been great this week? The weather. I love how it has been cool and I've been able to wear jeans and jumpers and lasagne, the leftovers of which I will continue to enjoy tonight. Which also means I don't have to cook tonight. Double positive!



I love how today it is sunny and the sun is warm but the breeze keeps it all nice coolish and everything is touched with the autumn light. (God I love you autumn, I'm totally your bitch.)

In summary, autumn is doing everything it should be doing and it's great to be here.

PS. I saw this around the corner from my house today.

Positive things! (AM)

Hello from NYC you guys. We had quite  an unpleasant journey over but let's be honest, it wasn't MH370 and all air travel seems like a kind of miracle to me so  rather than complain I am going to write a post jam packed with positives! And when I say 'jam packed' I mean as many positives as I can fit in before KB exhausts the fun potential of rolling around on a hotel bed without pants.

First positive: plane food is really delicious  and I don't know why it has a bad rep. It's salty and mushy and there are lots of little components to it which means it's a fun time. Along with the movies, it's the highlight of any flight. 

Second positive: NYC food is really delicious! Last night we arrived at our hotel, dumped out bags and immediately went out for pizza at the first place we could find and it was totally delicious. Today I was reminded how thoroughly they stuff their sandwiches with delicious things. 

KB is learning about how delicious proper bagels are. 

Soon I hope to be reminded of how well they make cookies when I enjoy these bad boys for afternoon tea. 


One is peanut butter, the other is mint choc chip. 

Third positive: NYC is such an exciting place to be! Spring is really in the air so this morning, KB and I walked to Central Park and hung around pointing at dogs and squirrels. 


Fourth positive: I've developed a taste for shitty American coffee over the years, and now I have another person's needs to consider all the time, it really helps tide me over until I can go find a decent coffee for myself. 

I could go on and on by KB is getting wise to my scam. 

In summary: It is super great to be here.