The things that keep me up at night

I suppose if you just got home from a month in the Americas, watching Master Chef may not be the first thing you do. But me, I watch me quite a lot of Master Chef. Now I don't know if it is because I just cooked the shit out of ... my kitchen(?) this weekend, or simply because I watch a lot of Master Chef, but every time I woke up last night I thought about how I would have addressed last night's challenge if I was on that show.

Now I kind of know one of the people on Master Chef this season. He's the friend of a friend. A nice guy. And the only person I've known to be on a reality TV show, so obviously I am going for him.

Let me set the scene for last nights show. The contestants were told it was an invention test with a Spanish theme. They could chose one of three pairs of ingredients: lamb and anchovies; sherry and oranges; and choritzo and squid. The guy I am barracking for, let's call him Emo, chose one of the meaty pairs and then filled his basket from the pantry and claimed that he had never chosen a pantry basket so well. Then the judges swapped everyone's baskets and poor Emo got a sherry and oranges basket full of dessert ingredients. But he is not a dessert man. And moreover, he is lactose intolerant (all this I know from the show last night, not personal experience). He did really badly in the challenge and the judges were mean to him (I think Gary hates him, and George really stuck the boot in last night). AND the person who got Emo's basket won the challenge, didn't even acknowledge his awesome ingredients gathering.

Anyways all night I kept waking up thinking, man if I had got the basket Emo got I would have made a dessert sharing plate. I'd have made a custard, then split it in half, turning one part into an orange custard and the other into cinnamon chocolate ice-cream. I would have made a toffee for show and churros, but if they didn't work out well (I've tried them before, they are easy to make ok because they are fried and I rolled them in sugar and cinnamon which all adds up to yum, but they were not mind-blowing) I would just make some sort of biscuit. Seriously I was tossing and turning with these thoughts. But I guess I have a couple advantages. Firstly, as mentioned I just baked the shit out of shit this weekend.


And secondly, I am not on Master Chef. And I never would be on Master Chef. I cook ok, and that's it. I don't sit around thinking about what I would cook if I were going to audition for it. It's not like Australian Idol which I really did want to audition for because it would have been hilarious. (And FYI I would have sung 'Nothing Compares to You' - the Prince version obviously.)

But on that note I am going to share a recipe. Yesterday I pretty much ate all day, but at dinner time I still wanted to eat something yummy and easy. And from nowhere I remembered this thing I used to make when I was alone and hung over and hungry and at home with not much food. It's basically what I imagine is the vegetarian version of a meatball sandwich. In fact I'm pretty sure I invented it after watching an episode of Friends where Joey keeps eating a meatball sandwich. I really wanted to eat a meatball sandwich.

Serves 1

1 long roll or portion of baguette
1/2 small onion, chopped
1-2 cloves garlic, sliced fine
1 long chilli (I like a pickled one) chopped
Olive oil
Sugo - a nice amount to make a juicy sandwich (1/2 a cup?)
Salt
Pepper
Paprika or dried chilli.
1 large field mushroom or a few buttons, sliced
Some cheese, (cheddar or Swiss or whatevs really) sliced - enough to fill your sandwich.

Preheat the oven to about 180.
Fry onion for a couple of minutes in the olive oil. Add the garlic then the chilli. Fry for a couple of minutes then add the sugo. Warm through. Season with some salt, pepper and paprika or dried chilli. Slice the roll in half, spread tomato sauce then put on the mushies, then the cheese. Wrap in foil then put in oven for 10 or so minutes. Just till the cheese is melted and the mushies are softened.

Now that's some good eating.