TGIF

I returned to work on Wednesday.
What a dumb idea!

Don't get me wrong. I'm very grateful that I have a job and I know that lots of people are not as lucky as I am and I am definitely not complaining about my general good fortune. But really, you would have to be straight up crazy to think that this is better than being in NYC. Apart from the fact that it's really warm in my office all the time (which is fantastic), I can't see what it has to offer that is better than, say, this.

Plus, I had forgotten how much whinging happens at work. I know this may seem like a strange observation, given that I am devoting a whole blog post to whinging. But seriously, I look like a total pollyanna compared to these people. Let me give you an example.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, we are provided with fresh fruit. It's really great actually. There is quite a lot of it, so people can take a few pieces and get to eat fruit every day of the week on the company dime. Awesome! But people still find things to complain about. I have seen people totally lose their shit if the fruit is late, like they can't possibly work under those conditions. Also, if there is a public holiday on the Monday and therefore there is no fruit delivery until Wednesday, some folks get really annoyed. Just bring your Tuesday fruit from home for pete's sake you losers. Am I right?

But the whinging reached new heights recently. The people who make decisions about the fruit decided to try a few new things. Celery and carrot sticks were added to the mix, as were small packets of nuts. You would think that people would be happy about the new choices, and most people were. But some folks just couldn't help themselves, and posted the following messages on the intranet noticeboard:

Subject: Fruit box
Posted by: Anonymous, 10/1/2011, 3:55pm
"Great idea for the fresh vegetables - but the nut mix needed more nuts - otherwise its a great idea and I vote for more of this."

Subject: Re: Fruit box
Posted by: Anonymous, 13/1/2011, 9:26am

"I really love the new additions to the fruit basket and agree with the more nuts in the nut selection."

Subject: Re: Fruit box
Posted by: Anonymous, 14/1/2011, 11:56am
"Personally I was happy with the base selection, I don't find the additional items change what I select."

Geez louise. NYC is so much better than this!
(But I am really lucky to have a job and don't want to the universe to get the wrong idea and cause me to lose my job. Universe, if you're listening, I really appreciate all that you have done for me! Thanks buddy!!)

NOTE: In February, the following anonymous post appeared on the intranet noticeboard:
"I was actually suprised that nuts were included as I had not seen any correspondence asking whether there were people with allergies in the office. I gather we have an epipen in our first aid kit? Maybe HR know this already, but as people open the nuts with the fruit it may mean that those with allergies are now unable to eat the fruit. Again I have no idea just thought the question should have been asked."

Now we don't get the nuts any more.