Things I hope I never have to see again (AM)

On Sunday night, I watched The Voice and the Logies and yes, I am wasting my life. But I do have the following things to say about these shows, largely so I can get these lame shows off my mind and move on with what's left of my life. 

Seal, you seem a little bit like a predatory, post-separation, middle aged man and its creepy. The bit where you said to one of the young female contestants "what a beautiful thing comes out of you" while holding her face in your hands made me feel creeped out and like that contestant was in stranger danger.  Also, Seal, don't sing along while the contestants are singing. It's rude.

Joel Madden, you are so uninteresting to me that I don't have anything to say about you. But don't sing along while the contestants are signing. Its rude.

Delta Goodrem, your hair is sailing dangerously close to parody. Stop it. It is good to see that you tend not to sing along with the contestants. Keep that up. 

Keith Urban. You are my favourite judge and that makes me question everything. You have a lisp and its kind of endearing. Please get the eff out of my head. And stop singing while the contestants are singing, its rude.

I really hope I never have to watch it again.
The Logies, on the other hand. Actually, no, I can't fake it. I really hope I never have to watch that again too. The starlets they have these days, and the things they wear, are so boring I barely even have the motivation to criticise them. But I would like the make the following comments on some things that I saw people wear.


What a charming tablecloth!

I like to call this look the Crazy Princess. 

Watch out for banana peels, Crazy Princess.

You're not fat, you're just pregnant, we get it.

Ugh. Twigley. This dress looks like something a very fancy Egyptian mummy might wear.   

And your hair looks like something an Afghan Hound might wear. 

Right?
But not as cute, of course.
Goodbye, terrible night of TV.