Hunk of the Month Club: Jimmy Bartel

Greetings, hunk fans!

Can you believe it's already been a whole month since our first hunk of the month? How time flies!  Since then, the days have become shorter and colder and Miss Soft Crab has turned its attention to wintery pleasures: 

Woollen jumpers. 

Pasta. 

Double doonas. 

And of course, Jimmy Bartel. 

Now, we know that not everyone is in to football, and we respect that. In fact, we thought for about two minutes  long and hard about whether Jimmy was a suitable choice for HotMC. The last thing we want is for the Crab community to feel alienated by our choice of hunk. But as J eventually reasoned: 

a) HotMC is not a science, Mate, and I don't think it necessarily has to be the hottest hunk or anything like that;

b) If he is the guy that came up than he is the hunk of the month I say!

c) Celebrate diversity! We should have hunks from all walks of life;

d) Footy season is here, another reason he is an apt HotMC.

e) JIMMY! I effing love that guy

Quite right, Mate. Quite right. 

So lets begin, shall we? I guess because he is a footballer, we should start with some stats.

Jimmy Bartel is a perfect 10! That's the only stat worth knowing.

Just jokes. 

Jimmy is a 28-year-old hunk who grew up in Geelong and has been tearing it up at Cat Park since 2002. In addition to being a Brownlow medalist, Norm Smith medallist and triple premiership player, Jimmy is the most handsome man in the most handsome team in the AFL. Jimmy makes Max Rooke look like a carpet. Jimmy makes Joel Selwood look like an emu. Jimmy makes Tom Hawkins look like a man made from plasticine. In truth, Tom Hawkins is largely to blame for this too. But that Jimmy stands handsome head and handsome shoulders above all these other handsome men really says something about Jimmy. Of course, HotMC isn't just about what I think. Hot MC is a democracy. Take it away, Mate!

J: Geez. Jimmy Bartel. That guy is a really special guy. You can tell because, as you say, he stands out as super handsome in the AFL's handsomest club AND he looks good all the ways!

Like this:

With a beard, running

Like this:

Without a beard, running

Like this:

The original caption on this picture when we found it on the internet was "Some guy kissing Jimmy Bartel". Heh.

K: Whoa there. He sure does look good all the ways.Here is another one:

"Why no, Max, I haven't read Miss Soft Crab today. They said what now? HAHAHAHA. Oh Max. You do look  bit like a carpet".

K: Personally, I love how Jimmy wears the long sleeved jumper. Football players do not seem to understand how good that looks, so few of them do it. Jimmy does it though. Covers those arms right up like he know he should.

J: Yeah, there is something super special about the way Jimmy wears the long sleeved jumper. Leaving a little to the imagination ay, Jimmy? I also like how it suggests that he just wants to be warm and comfy. Man after my own heart. 

K: There's no reason why a man can't be hot and practical. No reason at all! I bet he's got a wardrobe full of jumpers at home. I bet he knows exactly when and how to wear those soft woolly babies like a HotMC man should. 

Here's an interesting Jimmy fact: despite being a Brownlow medalist, despite being a Norm Smith medalist, despite being the most handsome man in the AFL, Jimmy has never won the GFC Best and Fairest. 

Um, you guys, he is the mother flipping fairest of them all!

J: HAHAHA! Yeah he is!

Another thing that is interesting about Jimmy as a hunk is that he is so different to a hunk like, say, Viggo, our inaugural MSC HotMC hunk. Viggo, of course, is a real hunk, a mature and hot man, Jimmy is more of your straight up PHWOAR hunk. And I think it is important to note that we have room in our hearts for every kind of hunk.

You know I spend a fair amount of time in the Geelong area and now and again I see a GFC player. Varcoe, Ling, Ottens, Steve Johnson, and every time I think, "why is it never Jimmy?" But, truth be told, I probably would barely be able to contain myself if I did. 

K: Oh, I'm straight up sure I couldn't contain myself if I saw him in the wild. I got all giggly when I saw Nick Riewoldt at the Coles on Church Street one time, and he couldn't even make it on to the HotMC emergency substitute list. 

Anyway, regardless of whether we ever get to test how apeshit we would go if we saw him in real life,  I'm pretty sure I speak for both of us when I say, Jimmy Bartel, you are a top shelf hunk and I hope that damned girlfriend of yours knows how damned lucky she is goddamn it.