Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Poor guy

I catch the #96 tram to work in the mornings, because it is nice and fast and I always get a seat. Sometimes I get out of my seat because a person who is not technically old but probably older than 50 is standing near me, making me feel guilty because they are standing and I am sitting. I never want to vacate my seat for these people and really, they should be flattered I don't think they are old enough to vacate a seat for, but I always do because I can't handle the guilt. Anyway, it was because of this looming guilt that I scampered out of my seat one recent morning, took a spot standing in the doorway and found myself reading over the shoulder of a young man as he composed the following text message:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. Have a great wkend. Its going to be sunny all next week, so save some nights for me!"
Ew! Isn't that gross?!
But it got worse. He edited it to read:
"OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. I'm here for u wnevr u need me. Have a great wkend...etc."

My first thought was keep your PG rated sexting with its nasty abbreviations to yourself guy! But I couldn't look away. Lets break it down, shall we?

Firstly, that he called her 'sexy' makes me think he wants to do it with her. Secondly, that he expressed understanding that she is tired makes me think he has tried to organise a date with her, but she has blown him off. This made me feel a little bad for the guy. He already cut a pretty depressing figure. He looked like someone who might work in a mobile phone store. He wore a diamond earring and had a goatee. His jacket was way too big for him and though I only saw him sitting down, it seemed like he might be a short man. None of it boded terribly well for the guy's chances of doing it with his text recipient.

But the rewrite was really the worst part. "I'm here for u wnevr you need me"!!??. I wanted to lean down and say "No guy, don't do it! Its too much! You sound a little pathetic and there is no way she is going to do it with you then!"

Of course, you can't just say all of this to a stranger on the tram, so I just watched as he sent this terrible text message to the lady he is trying to do it with, knowing it would only make things worse.

After he sent it, I started to think that perhaps I had it all wrong. Maybe she is going through a difficult time, and his saying "i'm here for you" was actually a really nice thing. But I doubt it.

My suspicions were confirmed when he received a reply that read:

"I may have some time on Sunday afternoon. Would you like to pick me up and take me out for coffee then?"
Coffee? Sunday afternoon?
Poor guy.

1 comment:

  1. Im reading "OK sexy, I know ur exhausted. I'm here for u wnevr u need me. Have a great wkend..." as the following:

    OK Sexy (I picked you up at salt night club) I know your exhausted (cos I got you drunk and sexed you ) I'm here for you when ever you need me (to have a sexy time again in the flat you are house sitting for your sister), Have a great wkend (have a great weekend)...

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