Remembering stuff (AM)

I have memories in my brain that seem so improbable I sometimes wonder if they are real. Like once K and I were at the pub for a friend's 21st and this guy we had just met who seemed like a bit of a dick went to the supermarket to get a snack and came back eating a capsicum. Just chomping on a capsicum like it is was an apple. Really?! I mean that guy was just a bit of a dick and I guess he liked eating capsicum. It happened. But really?!

Another time K and I were hanging out on the roof of my old apartment building one night and the moon just appeared to fall out of the sky behind the horizon. We both saw it, we weren't high and we don't know what the eff happened. But it happened.

And once when LB and I were on holiday in Japan, at the end of a day at Ueno zoo we saw a huge bird waddle out of a little house in an enclosure, eat some food and waddle back with the zoo keeper as if they were best buds.

This is a picture I stole off the internet but it totally represents what I saw that day

Despite Tokyo being full of tourists the signs at the zoo were mainly in Japanese with just random ones being translated into English. And because it was right at the end of our trip to Japan and at the end of our day at the zoo I couldn't take any photos because my memory card was full. That zoo has a really amazing array of animals and a fantastic bird collection including puffins and flamingos and vultures. But the enclosures are pretty depressing for the most part and the day was somewhat conflicted. And then right at the end we walked past an enclosure with no idea what was meant to be in there and that's when the zoo keeper emerged with his grey, feathered friend that was about three quarters his height.

The way that the bird and man emerged together and the funny waddle of the bird made him seem so human somehow. Or rather, like an anthropomorphised cartoon bird. Even at the time I remember wondering what the fuck I was watching and if that bird wasn't a guy in a suit. If that bird was for real. For years I actually did kind of question the experience and then one day I found out what that bird was. I don't know if LB somehow knew or I saw a picture or maybe I did a search on birds at Ueno zoo, but one day I just knew that what I'd seen was a shoebill.

Here are some pictures I found on the internet. When I saw them I knew that even the cartoonishness of the bird in my memory was legit.

Guys, doesn't nature just blow your mind?! I mean look at that face! If you have never seen one of these in real life I can not recommend a trip to Tokyo highly enough.

Memory lane (PM)

I love a paper trail walk down memory lane. Especially when it takes you to a time in your life when your were overseas or newly returned from overseas or just found out you were pregnant or you had a baby or some other exciting time. I like a hard copy paper trail trip too, which is why my wallet is usually full of old tickets and receipts. 

We went to Disneyland two years ago when Newbie was just a tiny bean in my belly and the signs at Disneyland's doors, necessary by California law, declaring that the park had things containing carcinogenic products that could cause harm to people and unborn babies were pretty disconcerting. Anyway we're all fine and had a great day. 

I've been taking my own trip down memory lane lately because I left my face wash in a hotel in Byron Bay and had to buy a replacement in the local IGA near where we are now staying which is a town of some hundreds people and has a shop with one face wash, Johnson's gentle exfoliating wash, which, although I've never used it, smells just like something I used as a teenager, according to the power of olfactory memory. 

Memories, like the corners of my nose. 

Memory Lane (AM)

The last few days I've been trying to get the paperwork together for my 2014-15 tax return. This is particularly challenging when you are someone without a proper filing system and a newborn baby. But I like to think of myself as a semi can-do kind of girl, and so in the five-minute windows of opportunity that present themselves when KB is sleeping, I've been going over electronic bank-statements to gather some of the information I need.

Reading through these statements is like being transported back in time through your purchases. And it really tells a story about my habits and my state of mind at certain times. On 1 October last year I bought a bunch of stuff at Barkly Square and spent a bunch of money at the Union Hotel in Brunswick. That's pretty normal and therefore pretty boring, but going over it I realised it was the day I got back from overseas and I remember how excited I was to be back in Brunswick and doing those everyday Brunswick things. Six weeks or so later I can see I went to see the GP, which was the visit that confirmed I was pregnant with KB. The following day I spent some money at Aesop, which is something I often do when I feel overwhelmed and want to get some calmness in my life. 

Maybe it's because I spend a lot of time at home alone these days, but doing this has made me extremely nostalgic and quite happy. And all for the cost of an internet connection which we all already have anyway. 

Go take a trip down memory lane today!

Ugh (PM)

When Baby was little K and I did this thing called The Australia on Collins Challenge. Basically it was just doing laps of Australia on Collins until Baby went to sleep. But with him the payoff was worth it, because once asleep he'd stay that way for hours. In fact that day of the Australia on Collins Challenge I'm pretty sure K and I went on to have a very long lunch at The Press Club while Baby slept in a pusher beside our food-and-wine-laden table. That would never happen with Newbie though and I really understand how lucky I was back then. 

Let's hope K can resist the lure of Katie's!

I wouldn't say my holiday is more exciting exactly, but it's probably considerably better looking and pleasanter. 

No scrubs update (PM)

I know that a photo of hair does not necessarily give you the whole picture, so to speak, but from what I can see no scrubs is working out pretty well. Your hair looks good in the pictures, Mate, and it's starting to make me long for a no scrubs lifestyle. 

You ask if I've got any ideas to make the under layer look less greasy, sadly the answer is no. I'm learning I have a terrible memory. Just awful. From my no scrubs days I remember that my hair was quite good most of the time and fairly predictable and I loved those things. But I barely remember the specifics of what my hair was like in those days, let alone how I dealt with no scrubs issues. I wish I could remember more because, like I said, no scrubs is really talking to me now on one level. That level being that my hair is just awful right now. 

On top of the problems of just having awful hair, these are added: 

I've just lost all that extra pregnancy hair and my hair is so thin and manky because of it. 

My hair is totally shoulder length and because of the natural curl my shoulders just push the hair up in an awful way making it look shorter and stupider than even it should. 

I want to grow my hair, indeed I am growing it, but keep thinking about getting a haircut just to add some shape and body but I've been burned too many times by did haircuts. 

So I keep wondering if I should stop washing my hair. On the plus side Newbie isn't spewing on me as often now so perhaps I could do it. But what about chlorine? Sand? What happens when that stuff gets in my hair? I wish I had a better memory. 

Miss Soft Crab Assorted: Irish selection (PM)

Ok first, of course I wish there was a soundtrack to Miss Soft Crab posts. (Business idea: release Miss Soft Crab soundtrack.) But, you know, I wish there was a soundtrack to pretty much everything in my life. Like maybe sometimes I could strut down the street while Aretha sings "Think", when I'm feeling sassy. Or other cool shit. I'd certainly have a more inspired soundtrack coordinator than I currently have. The other day I was in a cafe and Portishead's Dummy was playing as if it was 1997. Sure I loved it but, come on soundtrack guy.  And when it's not 90s classics I basically have a constant soundtrack of 774 ABC radio. Or RRR.

But that's by the by. 

Second shit, Mate, if I worried about all the potatoes I ate I would need some serious therapy. You know, if this was America and people got therapy at the drop of a hat. 

But Ireland, that place is great. It's been a long, long, long time since I was there but my memories are very fond. It is so green and beautiful and there are ruins everywhere which seem totally romantic and lovely. 

When I was 13 I lived in Ireland for a few months with my family. We lived just outside Galway in a tiny house behind a B&B. Russeth and I walked to school with my mum past blackberry bushes we'd snack on. Some of our teachers were nuns. We were also a short walk from the beach, a walk that took us past more blackberries and an adorable donkey. I know I don't seem like the kind of girl that had nuns and donkeys in my past but it's true, you guys. 

And the people! So friendly. For a long time I had a penpal from my school in Ireland. She had the most beautiful red hair. Eventually  we drifted apart,  it didn't help that she sent me a poem about abortion written from the viewpoint if the foetus. But the people are so friendly. 

And the chips and curry Mate, please don't miss them! Maybe it's the palate of a 13-year-old talking but I really think you should try it. You can just work out extra hard or get some therapy afterwards. 

Safari magic (AM)

When I was little my mum had these two eyeshadows. They were in little clay pots the shape of a Winnie the Poo honey pot and inside were the most shimmery metallic eyeshadows I'd ever seen. One blue and one green. On the one hand I knew they were just my mum's eyeshadow and on the other hand they seemed so magical. Like so magical I felt it in my chest. So even though I knew they were my mum's eyeshadow I kind I felt like they had a secret life as magical fairy dust and playing with them would take me away to a special place. Being a kid is awesome in that respect, you know the difference between reality and fantasy but you can feel that fantasy world, feel that maybe somewhere it does exist. I guess that's what being religious is like.

As you know my mind gets blown all the time but I can't get that magic feeling back and I guess because of that it is hard for me to know what seems magic or mind-blowing to kids. It was Baby's birthday on the weekend and I found this book, a totally mind-blowing book. Now I'm not saying it made me believe in  magic but I loved it so much I couldn't stop swearing in amazement at the shopgirl. In the toy shop. I felt like maybe if I'd seen it as a kid I would have got that special feeling. This is it:*

We also gave Baby a remote control car and little toy skeletons so I guess he was distracted. But...um...did you notice that the book looks like a TELEVISION IN A BOOK! Or like a book from Harry Potter. Ok so Baby is not versed in the world of HP but he is well versed in the real world of books and television and how never the twain shall meet! And yet he just wanted to play with his $2 shop skeletons. Well who am I to judge. I loved to play with magic eyeshadow. 

I guess I jut want it on the record that of I was my own mother I would be a kickass present giver!**

*Sorry about the crappy video. It's been a rough weekend. Also it seems I can't see it on my iPhone so check out someone else's video here on YouTube if you want your mind BENT.

**Not that there is anything wrong with my mother's present-giving skills. She buys me excellent presents once I've told her what to get. 

Notes (AM)

When Newbie wakes up in the middle of the night for a feed I sometimes feel really tired. So that I don't fall asleep on top of him I sometimes turn to my phone for wakespiration but the internet can be so boring with its omnipotence and infiniteness so the other night I turned to my phone notes. There are years worth of notes in there.  It's a real treasure trove of memories. Or it feels that way at 3am.  I use it for all sorts of things like writing blog posts or ideas for posts, I use it for writing shopping lists and for reminding myself of adorable things Baby has said.  Like when I realised that he thought hedgehogs were called hairchogs. I realised this because he said 'Why are they called hair and chogs? Is it because their spikes are like hair?' It is one his adorable mishearings. He calls a knife an ife and cushions pushions and I can't quite bring myself to correct these things. 

The shopping lists in there are pretty boring although I guess I could use them to give me dinner ideas. Though I have no idea what I was cooking when I wrote this list:

I guess I was making some kind of Asian noodle dish but I have no idea what I needed dachshunds for.  

There are also other notes too. Some which were obviously ideas for something and others I have no idea what they were for. 

For example: Can joy be harbinged? Why is it that you only hear about harbingers of doom?

Well I don't know what inspired that note but I know why I wrote it. Because I want I know. 

Or this one:  Blaze. Blaze. Conspiracy theory 9-11. They make some good points. 

What the fuck is this about? Autocorrect?

Or this: 1. Use word achieved 

Maybe I was trying to create a list for manifesting my destiny but I guess I didn't get very far and clearly have not achieved much. 

Maybe I'll never know what these were about or perhaps my failing memory will come good. Either way, thanks iPhone, I don't know what half my notes are about but thanks for having that nifty function, especially now the font is not so fugly.