Highlights from a lazy life (AM)

They say that necessity is the mother of invention and also that genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration. But I've found that while those things may be true so is: laziness is the other mother of invention and, ipso facto, genius is basically 100% inspiration and 0% perspiration, if you use a rounding system because nothing is really 100% right?!

I don't want you to think it's not cool to work hard, 'cause it is. Stay in school, kids! But while I was enjoying my lazy man's coffee the other day all this became clear. 

What's lazy man's coffee? I'm so glad you asked! It's a little something I drank all the time in the couple of weeks after Newbie's birth, 'cause, you know, I was pretty tired and stuff and, therefore, lazy. So sometimes I wanted a coffee but there was none in the house and I felt too lazy to go and buy one, or there was coffee in the house but the percolator hadn't been cleaned and I felt too lazy to clean it. Or the percolator was clean but I felt to lazy to put water and coffee in it and put it on the stove. So I invented this new thing. Lazy man's coffee. See, luckily at the time I had some Vietnamese coffee ice cream in the freezer, a delicious and super easy ice cream I made one day while feeling both lazy  and the desire for coffee ice cream (mix espresso with some cream and condensed milk freeze in ice cream machine, et voila!). Anyhow you just take some of this ice cream and mush it up in a glass of milk and you have the best, motherflipping best ice coffee you'll ever have and also the easiest! Yeah boyee. 

But it doesn't stop there. Laziness also created another of my best inventions: just add a carrot. You see sometimes dinner time comes around and I'm in the unusual position of being sans child or man and therefore only have my own desires and nutrition to think about. And in such a situation I sometimes feel like it is ok to compromise nutrition a bit. But not totally. Maybe I don't feel that hungry so I just want to eat cheese and crackers. But I think I need to include something a little nutritious. Just add a carrot! Maybe I feel a little more hungry so I want to eat cheese and toast. But I think I need to include something a little nutritious. Just add a carrot! You see carrots are delicious and a vegetable and need no prep. You can eat one at meal time and feel really pleased with yourself for being healthy without any effort! Try it you guys. Just add a carrot. 

So next time you need a thing but feel too lazy to do the thing properly just look around, maybe the lazy way will be a great way!

A question of vegetables (PM)

Vegetable monogamy was something we really believed in when we were younger. We were such romantics. But one true vegetable love over the course of a life...it's something very few get to experience and you know, that's okay by me. Also, the fact that there's just no way we are getting stranded on a desert island had have to choose a vegetable to consume for eternity makes me feel okay about it. But I do think that if I had bread on the desert island, I could sacrifice the potato. But not before. No way.

A question of vegetables (AM)

Like most people I spent the better part of my undergraduate degree sitting in bars and cafes discussing the desert island vegetable question.  Looking back on this I am reminded of the scene in movies when old people say reflectively "Ah, young people they think they know everything." And then talk about how stupid that is and then I always think, "Shut up Albert Finney." And yet when I think about the vegetable question, Albert Finney seems to make a lot of sense.

Back in those days there was no question about what vegetable I would chose. Potato. Potato. Potato. Potato. It seemed to me then, as it does in many ways now, the most delicious and the best. You can mash it, chip it, roast it, make it into bread, even use it in a sweet treat if you were desperate. So versatile. Oh, potato. And, at 18 that was all that I thought mattered in the world, but now I'm older, I've seen more, lord knows I've eaten more, and often I wonder, would I still take potatoes to my desert island or would eggplant have to become my life long companion.

Think about it. Eggplant is caramelly, mushy, delicousy, can also be chipped, curried, pasta sauced, pizzaed. Eaten hot, eaten cold. I know that potato can do all that and more but I just think that eggplant is so delicious I may not be able to forsake it for potato. And yet. And yet.

But perhaps even asking this question is what those old people in movies are talking about. Perhaps the question itself is the naivete. As if a question like this could ever be answered. Perhaps wisdom can only come when I realise that I couldn't ever chose a single vegetable for eternity. And with that I reach maturity! BAM!