Haiku Thursday (PM)

OMG YOU GUYS!

I FORGOT TO MISS SOFT CRAB

THIS THURSDAY ARVO

Memory triggered

When I saw someone that looked

Like Damon Albarn

I'm sorry Crab Friends.

And I think Lance Armstrong

Should be sorry too. 

The five stages of grief (PM)

Yeah. Tender is my heart for screwing up my life.

I just wish I had never let myself dream this goddamned stupid dream. I thought seeing blur was something that would never happen to me and I was getting on with life just fine. Sure, there were moments when it hurt, but life hurts, am I right? I was getting on with it.
Then this impossible thing happened. They were coming. And we were going to see them. And Strawberry and Chickpea would be there and it would be just like the 1990s. We were going to laugh and cry and fall in love all over again.
And now now it has unhappened. And I have to go back to the way it was before. I have to undream the dream. And that's really goddamned hard to do. Especially when No Distance Left to Run is playing.

Maybe they've become really puffy as they've aged, and seeing them would have been depressing.

Let's check!

Fuck you blur. I love you blur.

The five stages of grief (AM)

 
Yesterday I was doing some house painting. You know the kind of work, something that requires some attention but does leave a lot of your brain free to think about things. It can be quite enjoyable. I had my iPod on shuffle, it's better, I think, than just listening to an album when you are doing this kind of work cause it gives you more direction for your brain journey. Like, I wondered about why I find the song by Biggie, 'Big booty hos' quite offensive, while NWA's 'She swallowed it' barely offends me at all. I guess it depends what you grow up with, right? I thought about how seeing Prince live was not life changing, but in many ways it was kind of life defining. I thought about how I can't believe I'm going to get to see Blur at the Big Day Out. About how it was such a long-time dream. About how I would do anything to be up the front see Damon right there. About how it was too good to be true.

And then, maybe an hour later I got this message from K.

I knew instantly what it meant. I hadn't known anything and when I saw the message I knew Blur had cancelled the BDO shows. Of course I googled it right away and it was just one of those times when being right sucks the most.

And then, well then I spent the rest of the day on the Kubler-Ross journey.

First, denial. I could not fucking believe it. Even though I knew as soon as I saw K's text that it was happening, I could not fucking believe it.

Then anger. Fuck you BDO organisers for "shifting goalposts and [creating] challenging conditions" and fuck you Blur for cancelling. Fuck you all. (I love you Blur. I love you.)

I pretty much skipped bargaining because I'm not an idiot and I know I can't do anything to change things. 

Then depression.

Finally, acceptance. A depressed kind of acceptance. I guess it's possible that I'm not over the depression. I guess grief wasn't processed in a day.

I know how you feel, Damon. I know how you feel

WTF Wednesday (AM)

You guys, I just did a little Google search and it turns out that blogs all over the cyberspace are running days called WTF Wednesday! But if my brief perusal of said WTF Wednesday's was representative you'll definitely get your best WTF Wednesdays right here!

This really brown blog I looked at mentioned the words 'tarantula hawk' and I thought WTF?!?!?! I would have just thought it was a hawk that ate tarantulas but they made it clear that this was not a bird. (FYI the WTF moment of this post was that a bird built a nest in this blogger's garden and that bird must have been an idiot because the blogger has German pointers, which are bird-hunting dogs. Yes, that was their WTF. You see how much better off you are here, readers?)

But no. Tarantula hawks are not tarantula-eating hawks. They are tarantula-eating mother flipping WASPS! Wasps that eat tarantulas! Holy mother effing moly! The thought of a huge wasp wrestling a tarantula is one of the most terrifying things I have ever imagined.

The wasp is up to 5cm long and it looks like this:

I'm sorry you had to see that.

Also, the wasp belongs to the family of wasps called 'spider wasps'. Oh god, it just keeps getting more terrifying. They live in South America and according to wikipedia in some parts of Venulzuela and Columbia they are called 'matacaballos' which means HORSE KILLER.

I can't believe there are tarantula-eating, horse-killing wasps out there. 

Let's all look at a picture of a Damon Albarn to make us all feel better.

= Destination reached!

Friday Favourites: Damon Albarn (PM)

What K says is true. But my mind track looks more like this:
*blllluuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh*
*Blur!*
*Damon Albarn! = destination reached!*

Damon Albarn is the bomb. I love Blur so much! Also I love the Gorillaz! And while that Dr. Dee opera is kind of weird, you gotta respect a man that wants to writes an opera about some old skool mathematician/astronomer/astrologer who straddled the worlds of science and magic and whose thirst for the occult led to his downfall, and then just does it.

Also did you know that Damon Albarn's girlfriend/mother of his child, Suzi Winstanley, is an artist who makes collaborative paintings and photographs with her artistic partner, which I don't really get but think is kind of great. All their work is about nature and they have quite a few wolf works, so, you know, I kind of love them. I know that doesn't really have anything to do with Damon but I guess it's just a positive association.

I know it's Friday and usually I'd like to play a party song to get y'all in the mood but I'm afraid I can't go past 'No distance left to run' for my Blur pick. I just think it's a really beautiful, sad song. I love the tired feel of it. Like he really can do no more. I pretty much think it's genius.

Damon Albarn, you really are an everyday favourite. That doesn't really have the ring of Friday Favourite, but I bet you could make it work.

Friday Favourites: Damon Albarn (AM)

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about Damon Albarn. You know, because of the Olympics. And also because of my one track mind. Which track? 

The fast track to Hunktown of course, like you needed to ask. Before you judge me, J is exactly the same as me and she has a baby, so to judge me is to judge her and please don't do that.

Here is an overview of what has been going down in my brain for the last few weeks.

*Olympics*

*London*

*England*

*Great Britain*

*Britain*

*Brit Pop*

*Blur*

*Damon Albarn! Destination = reached!*

Readers, Damon Albarn is so great. Tell me: have you ever heard a Blur song, or a Gorillaz song, and thought to yourself, gee, I wish I wasn't listening to this right now. Of course you haven't. No one has. And that's almost all because of Damon Albarn.

There are shed-loads (which is what my new boss says when he wants to say shitloads and I think it's very quaint so I am using it here) of songs I could refer to to illustrate how great Damon Albarn is. I'm sure you all have your personal favourites.  For me it's  Tender, always and forever. Everything that is good about Damon Albarn and music in general is in the song Tender. It's got a beat that won't quit, a melody so perfect it sounds like it's been around since the dawn of musical time and it's impossible not to hear it and start singing. I basically want that song to go on forever. 

Damon Albarn: because you are as pretty as a picture, because your music is as pretty as your face, and because you seem like a man who always knows what he is doing, you are Miss Soft Crab's Friday Favourite. And you know what baby? We don't even need a Friday Favourite to know how great you are. You would be our favourite any day of the week and twice on Sundays. It just so happens that it's Friday today.

Take it away, Damon Albarn.

(and Blur)