One

I went away on the weekend and gee it was nice. 

So much of that sweet autumn sun and those beautiful autumn leaves. And because of all the rain, green grass to set it off so nicely. Does Autumn feel particularly lush this year? 

***time lapse***

I just went looking for J's last post about how great autumn is to reference here, and in the process I realised it's winter now. Oopsadaisy. But only just. It's that part of winter that actually feels like fully-fledged autumn, unlike the start, which really feels like leftover summer. Look, it's beautiful outside at the moment. Do we need to apply labels to it? 

Anyhoo, it's Tugboat's birthday in a few weeks.  He will be 1. I can't believe it's been a year (almost) since the day he was born. It was a great day. I bought some new ugg boots, then went to hospital to be induced.  There was a terrible storm, and after a while they said little Tugboat was not doing so well so how did I feel about a cesarean. I said super, thanks for asking.

Half an hour later I was lying in theatre, trembling like a leaf, so the anaesthetist put a hose under the sheet I was lying under, and it blew warm air all over me. I loved him for that. I don't remember much after the warm air, except a massive amount of pressure being applied to my belly as someone pushed Tugboat down from on top while my doctor pulled him out from below. I'm sure it was legit.  The next thing I remember was everyone in the room laughing because Tugs had grabbed onto a piece of cord  holding up the sheet, and he wouldn't let go for love nor money.

 I had many questions, like "Is my baby OK?" and "Seriously, is my baby OK?" but there was so much laughter I had to wait for a break before I could be heard. Eventually they prised his hand from the cord and put him on my chest and I'm sure you all know the rest. Cuddles and tears, on for young and old. I didn't know he was a boy so I found that out. The people in the room asked what his name would be and Appleheart said "tell em!!" so I said "Tugboat!" and everyone cheered. I guess it was pretty much the best day of my life, along with when KB was born and some other really choice days. 

It's weird that it was almost a year ago. And also weird that there was a time before Tugboat. 

Thank god for autumn 💓

I see you out there autumn 

Since Miss Soft Crab went on indefinite hiatus a few things have changed. Not many, but a couple. I don't freelance anymore, I work at a university now. I mean right now I work for a uni at my house. Obvs. But a couple of weeks ago, when I was still at the uni I was taking a (very) little walk with a friend. We go get a coffee in the afternoon and weather and workloads permitting, we walk from the cafe to the library stand for a minute in the sun and return to work. We were talking about the beautiful autumn sunshine and I told her that I used to write a blog and every autumn I would end up writing a post about my love for autumn. I did not know that in a matter of weeks that blog would be resurrected and I would be able to once again be able to sing out my love for autumn in blog post form.

But here we are, on a blog in the midst of autumn. The weather has been truly beautiful.Warm days, sunshine, crisp mornings, doona-requiring nights. Everything beautiful about autumn. Occasional rain, calling for pasta and red wine. Oh, autumn. And I remember the days, just weeks ago, walking from the cafe to the library with colleagues, reveling in all of autumn's beauty. Autumn really is magnificent. But this confinement is not showing autumn in its best light (despite the beautiful light).

Sure I go outside, but not in the same random way as real life takes you outside. Not at all times of day. And only, mostly to my backyard. When I was recalling my love letters to autumn, they were soaring, and heartfelt. Can you even have soaring feelings when you are housebound? I'm yet to discover if this is possible but I'm hopeful that the answer will be yes.

You're not the message, man

Did anyone watch Bodyhack last night? It's that show with Todd Sampson in which, to quote Wikipedia, he travels around the world to meet "some of the world's most extraordinary people...deconstructing and decoding how these incredible people live, what they do differently from the rest of us and how this impacts the human body." 

I used to enjoy watching Todd Sampson on Gruen. I found him pleasant and informed and he had interesting insights that led me to better understand advertising. 

But I guess at some point someone decided that he was so good at delivering messages that he should be the message. Because from what I can tell, BodyHack is basically a show about him being worldly and adventurous and a thinking person's tough guy. He goes to live among people who do super hard stuff, like Sherpas and French Legionairres and takes on the physical challenges that are part of their everyday lives. Last nights episode he lived amongst a group of people who are seaborne, called the Sama- Bajau who do seem super fascinating. 

They can walk on the sea floor, holding their breath for some time to do it. And because this thing is super awesome and super hard, Todd just HAD to try it. But did he really? I mean, when I am informed that someone can hold their breath underwater for four minutes and walk along the sea floor the equivalent of six floors below sea level, I can use my mind grapes to interpret that and be damned impressed. When I see footage of a person doing exactly that, I am further impressed and amazed. When Todd Sampson then tries to do it, i just think he's a smug fuck. And I think get out of the way man, you're not the message, they're the message. But that's what this whole show is about. Todd telling us some truly interesting things and visiting truly interesting people, then lodging himself smack back in the centre of the action. And he wears a lot of active wear, or gets around topless. Keep it to yourself, guy.

Where to take this

I hope K feels better soon. 

As autumn really settles into being autumn, with rain and cold days I've really been thinking about my winter wardrobe in earnest. And by winter I mean autumn, because of course when winter comes around I'm just going to be in jeans and woollen jumpers constantly. And by cold days I'm not talking about this week which is forecast to be in the mid-20s all week. But I think we know what I mean, right? Right. By February I'm already thinking about my winter wardrobe because I way prefer cold weather clothes and by now I'm bloody gagging to get my skin all covered up. Oh, yeah.  I feel like this season I'd like to do a bit of sartorial exploring, but also set some personal challenges. One of my concepts for my winter dressing this year is 'skivvies under everything.' Whereby I plan to wear skivvies under everything. And rather than just settling on a seasonal look and then trying to dress to it once in a while I'd like to set myself the challenge of dressing in that look everyday for a week, thereby actually seeing if I can do it and if it is a good look for me and hopefully, if everything goes well, just committing to it better because I have the lived experience of it.

Another thing I want to do this season is just fucking go for it. I have this tweed vest in my cupboard I think about wearing but never do, but not any more. This season I'm just going to fucking go for it!

Monochrome! Natch. Autumn is the perfect time for monochrome dressing, and this season I'm going to do it everyday for a week. And then a bunch of other times.

I'm excited about these dressing experiments guys! I can't wait to do them! And then tell you about them! But right now I'm just excited about getting my jeans on!

Another though on seasons

Touché mate, touché!

Last night I woke in the middle of the night thinking about Japan and the Japanese appreciation of nature and seasons. On Tuesday I had a brief interaction with my next door neighbour, it went something like this:
Neighbour: Beautiful day!
Me: Isn't it!
Neighbour: *Murmur mutter* autumn!
Me: I love autumn!
Neighbour: Me too!

It was the most meaningful conversation I'd ever had with him, I think because it was really obvious we both love autumn and I never really felt any connection with him before, though he's a perfectly pleasant person. This mutual season-loving conversation was really nice and I don't know if it was that or something I dreamed but I just woke up thinking about how in Japan, in the spring, they have cherry blossom parties. Japanese people would tell me that on a morning in sakura season a person in the office (every office) would be sent to a park with a blue tarp (so many blue tarps in Japan) and stake out their spot for the sakura party. The person would have to sit and mind that spot all day and then the rest of the office would come and join them to drink and enjoy the sakura when the work day finished. Can you imagine this being part of the Australian calendar. I mean it's awesome. In Japan in spring there are cherry blossoms everywhere and in the parks under those trees there are people on blue tarps everywhere. It's beautiful.

In the autumn in Japan if you tell someone you are going out of town they'd tell you the best places to visit to see the changing leaves. Or if you stay in town they tell you parks to visit to view the best autumn leaves. It struck me as a little strange until I walked through the forest in Kamakura in autumn and saw that the leaves really are beautiful.

I know that here on Miss Soft Crab we talk a lot about seasons. But on the whole I think Japan does it better and I just think we should take a leaf out of their book. A beautiful autumn leaf.

Here we go again (PM)

Love sure is hard. And it's especially hard when it's your first time. There's this new girl at my work who just moved to Melbourne from Canberra. Winters in Canberra can be very cruel and long and by comparison, Melbourne winter seems manageable, so she told me. She seems kind of naive and optimistic and so I didn't want to discourage her by telling her that the trick to surviving a Melbourne winter is to tell yourself it lasts until November. That way the springy Spring  days seem like a delightful bonus as opposed to the hallmark of a season that keeps writing cheques it can't keep. She turned up at work on Wednesday in a sleeveless dress all giddy and grinning. I felt like I was watching someone falling in love for the first time with a person I happen to know is a total jerk. I still can't quite bear to tell it to her straight. You just have to learn these things for yourself. 

Good luck, new kid. 

Here we go again (AM)

I know that spring is the most fickle of mistresses. And I know that the forecast for tomorrow suggests there'll be 40mm of rain. But it's weeks like these you understand why people stick around with  fickle mistresses. I mean all the promise and delight spring makes you feel. Even though you know that after tomorrow this kind of sunshine and warmth may disappear for weeks on end, the sweet floral scents may be nothing but a tease of a promise on a cold wind, right now all you can think about is spring's beauty and how good it makes you feel when it's around. Sheesh. Love's hard. 

The promised land (PM)

Holy smokes. I forgot about my crab responsibilities until about midday on Friday. I thought I was really on top of things this week but no, it looks like I'm not. Right now, KB is playing with the kitchen bin which is his favourite toy so I'm going to steal a few moments to say this: late October me will probably be  tired and shabbily groomed, just like July me. But compared with second half of 2015 me, she is as polished as QEII. 

Onwards to October! 

Positive things! (PM)

Great attitude K! Annoying transit really sucks, more so when there's a baby with you, but arriving in NYC really is good for what ails ya. And I'm totally on board with positive attitudes in the face of annoying situations. My situation is fine, really. I just have a load of washing to hang out, literally seven loads of washing to fold and put away, a pretty messy house I'd love to put away and this out of session blog post to write, but hey! Stay positive!

Right now I have one sleeping baby and a cup of tea to enjoy so who am I to complain!?

You know what else has been great this week? The weather. I love how it has been cool and I've been able to wear jeans and jumpers and lasagne, the leftovers of which I will continue to enjoy tonight. Which also means I don't have to cook tonight. Double positive!

I love how today it is sunny and the sun is warm but the breeze keeps it all nice coolish and everything is touched with the autumn light. (God I love you autumn, I'm totally your bitch.)

In summary, autumn is doing everything it should be doing and it's great to be here.

PS. I saw this around the corner from my house today.

Another autumn post (AM)

When K went overseas at Christmas time I loaned her my puffer. Not my pink puffer I bought last year which is totally warm, but not nearly as hardcore as my hardcore puffer, a North Face number I bought in a February in NYC. My serious puffer. My best puffer. My beloved puffer. I knew that once upon a time I put a photograph of it on MSC, so last night I hunted it down. Here it is:

In this picture I'm walking through FAO Schwarz eating red liquorice. May I highly recommend writing a blog, because tracking back through blog posts is awesome.

When K returned it I washed it. Of course. It's a white coat! And as it hung on the line, in the sun, and I lay inside, warm because it was summertime I just thought of my puffer, swaying in the breeze and how soon it would be time for me to wear that puffer and how much joy it would bring me. Last winter, despite owning Whitey and Pinky, both knee-length puffers, I bought a new black puffer. Waist length. I agonised over the purchase for some minutes but in the end I decided that Whitey and Pinky were both pretty full on and sometimes you just want a very warm, not so bulky jacket to throw on. So now I own three puffers. Blacky was a great purchase, I wore him so much last winter and I've even worn him a couple of times this year.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I love puffers. I wouldn't even be surprised if I bought more. I LOVE THEM! But related to that is my love for all things warm and puffy. Like doonas. Oh god I love doonas. In late spring I change over to a summer doona and basically spend the next 4 months fantasising about going back to winter dooney, and finally friends, I think that time is upon us. I can't wait to get rid of this lightweight thing on my bed and snuggle under something serious. Tomorrow I'm going camping and the other night I started thinking about how cold it will probably be at night and how great it will be to be in a sleeping bag or under a doona and feel so warm against the cold. It reminded me of the time at Meredith , I was pregnant with Baby and K and I had an afternoon lie down and we were each in our sleeping bags just loving the shit out of it, imagining what a great life Baby would have when he was born and got to be swaddled all the time. I was just thinking the other night about how I couldn't wait for some self-swaddling this Easter.

I fucking hate being cold. But I love being warm in the cold. It is truly one of life's joys and another reason I effing love autumn!!!

Welcome AUTUMN!!!

Here it is (AM)

You guys! Porridge season begins today! 

Though J would say porridge ain't got no season because it's not a fruit/vegetable  and she would be technically right. But it's a true fact that porridge has no greater friend than winter, and winter begins today. When I got up it was 2 degrees. Winter! It's warmed up a little since then. 

I'm feeling strangely positive about winter this morning, which is strange, because last week I totally spat the dummy when I had to go in to the ice cold laundry to get clean underwear from the washing basket. I got all apocalyptic and feared  I wouldn't be able survive months of doing that. Today, I feel kind of good about it. The porridge. The hearty slow cooking. The electric blankets. I'm excited! 

And I should really get this porridge on the stove, so if you'll excuse me...

Annual autumn appreciation (AM)

Let's just get this out of the way, it's the second day of autumn and even though March is usually pretty much a continuation of summer, I think I should just celebrate autumn's arrival now so we can all move on. The moderate summer means I've been able to wear jeans and sweaters often enough over the last few months, so naturally I'm not gagging for the cool weather to set in, but last night I did feel like autumn's arrival was pretty timely; let me tell you why.

Last night I felt like shit, basically because I could feel mastitis coming on. If you haven't had that bitch of an illness you are lucky because it basically makes you feel like you have the flu plus a really sore boob. Really effing sore. And I have never even had it badly. A friend of mine was hospitalised with it! Me I just feel shit for a day or two. So there I was last night, one boob killing me, aching body, sore throat, shivers and the decision to go to bed early. But something about the cool night air and the fact that I recently bought a new nightie (what? No, it's great, man-style. I know that sounds dumb, but I love it!) that I was looking forward to wearing made going to bed early seem like an excellent lifestyle choice.

And it was, naturally, because I effing love bed as much as I love autumn! Bed takes on a whole new dimension in the cooler months. Doonas make sense again. The restorative powers of sleep are more restorative because you don't have sunshine working its magic on you during the day. It's a really special place. And I thank the arrival of autumn for helping me remember some of the finest things life has to offer. 

This post not make any sense? Sorry my boob is effing killing me.

New seasons resolutions (AM)

I guess to an extent I make resolutions at the start of every season. Probably at the start of autumn and winter I resolve to dress well in the season-appropriate look in which I've imagined myself for weeks leading into the ever colder weather. And of course my resolve weakens into a slump of jeans and the same jumper  after about three days of rain. At the start of spring my resolutions are far more serious. Oh sure I want to commit to looking good in cool colours and red lipstick, wear white shoes, always have smooth legs, but there's more to seasons than the clothes. Even I know that.  

We all now I feel about spring. I love her, but she is one fickle bitch. Here one minute, gone the next. But what am I gonna do? This weather is so beautiful and full of promise and I'm already making my spring resolutions. 

Spring is of course the time when you decide to increase your exercise regime. Partly, I guess, because everyone wants a "summer-ready" "bikini body", right? A magazine told me I wanted one. But it's not just that. It's that the spring air makes you feel happy! Alive! And you want more of that in your lungs, right! Plus more of that sweet serotonin that you've been synthesising in all the sunlight. Check. I have made that resolution. And one day I will act on it!

I have resolved to "slough away dead winter skin" by exfoliating! Eating a delicious Vietnamese egg and salad roll with chilli sauce at lunch yesterday I resolved to make myself delicious salad rolls for lunch at home instead of just eating five peanut butter toasts between the hours of 11 and 2. I decided to make myself green juices with the awesome old, yet incredibly space-consuming juicer I cant bring myself to throw away with all the green things that smell like spring! Mint! Lime! Cucumber! Green!

I've resolved to try and stay on top of the weeding, plant hings, keep them alive!

I guess all this stuff is typical spring resolution material. I'm just another sucker falling for spring's charms. But what are you going to do about it!? Imagine if I do all this stuff, this may just be the best season of the year!

Thinking 'bout summer (AM)

I'm hanging for summer so hard that when I saw this picture of a humpback whale in a book about whale watching it made me think of summer fashions. I know it's fucked up. But the white! The stripes! The blubber. That's totally how I see myself this summer. Ha! That bit about the blubber was a joke but the rest is for reals. I guess the sea and sun help too. 

I think I need a practical project. All this full time mothering is not enough to distract me from thinking about clothes all the time. And I'm thinking a lot about what I'll be wearing when the weather gets warmer. Mostly I imagine myself looking like Jennifer Conelly in this Vogue photo shoot from a few years ago. 

In the spread she's in lots of white and navy and hanging out on a yacht. Truth be told, ever since that issue of Vogue came out I imagined myself like this for the summer but weirdly it's never quite come to fruition. Maybe I need a yacht. 

But all this fanaticising about summer barely makes sense. I'm not even that sick of winter. This winter has been so mild and while there have been some cold-ass days and some rainy motherucking days there's also been some sunshine and I've barely used the umbrella I bought a month or 2 ago. Which makes me kind of sad because it's gold. But I think it's the winter sunshine that makes me miss summer more. Or at least the clothes. Because you still gotta rug up and I think that's what the problem is for me. Usually I've got a baby strapped to me. At some point during the day I have to manoeuvre a breast out from my layers with some measure of discretion and frankly the idea of less bulk in my clothes is calling to me like the sweet song of the whales and their great summer fashions. 

But hey! K is in summer right now! Is it as good as I imagine, Mate?

The Winter Question (Another day)

Hi everyone, sorry I'm late. Monday was a public holiday in Wales you see, so we went to Snowdonia again and there was no phone reception, no wifi, no nuthin. But now I'm back and can turn my attention to this topic which I think about all the time, but particularly while in the UK where my hair seems to look especially s#$thouse.

My very strong view is that it's possible to wear a winter hat and look very good wearing one. I also think you, Mate, wearing a nice hat on  top of your nice curly hair would look really great. I think the problem is that most female winter hat wearing is done by people who are making some kind of statement, such as "look at me, I'm a free spirit, I'm wearing a hat". Dickheads, if you will. The hat is a way for them to express themselves, not a single piece in an ensemble that serves a purpose while also looking quite lovely. No. Most of the time when people wear hats, they are doing so because they want it to be very clear and apparent that they are the type of person who would wear a hat, they are indeed wearing a hat and that it's very important that people notice them wearing the hat. Gosh darn it's annoying. And it means the female winter hat has become a bit of a symbol of annoying people. They're ruining hat wearing. But there are exceptions, of course, and I think you could be one of them, Mate.

But it won't be easy. You'll be up against it. But if you find the right hat, Mate. If you find the right hat I think you can do it. The question for me, now, is where the heck does one start looking for a winter hat?

The winter question (AM)

I know that every year around this time I write a post about how much I love autumn. How the light is so beautiful, the weather, when good is so damn good, and the clothes! All my favourite clothes were made for autumn. But this blog is 3 years old! I think you know all too well my love of autumn. So this year I'll spare you that post. Only problem is that while writing this paragraph I've gotten so side tracked thinking about all of autumn's awesome features I forgot what I really wanted to talk about. 

...

Hey I remembered! I think it's time to publicly revisit a question I pretty much ask myself every year at this time. That is, could I, should I, wear a winter hat. Oh I'm not talking about a beanie. I wear them. You gotta. I'm talking about some kind of more femme felt hat. 

Something like this: 

You know how I like to fashion myself after Woody Allen women of yesteryear. 

But is it possible for a normal woman to wear such a hat? I feel like this kind of hat could be a partial solution to the inevitable frizzy hair issues that abound during this wet months. You see I've reached a new positive position on my hair that I will tell you all about soon. I think that I need more positive ways to approach my hair in the wet season. Do these hats look glamourous? Or stupid?

Can they only exist in a fantasy winter wonderland, right next to ponchos? An item I fantasise about wearing (blankets outside? Yes please!) but know I never would. I feel like in reality the brimmed felt hat is an item for off-duty models only but maybe I'm being too narrow minded. Maybe it's time a gal like me embraced it. 

?

Acrostic Monday (AM)

Instantly you arrived 

The very day you were meant to,

Summertime. 

How come spring didn't do that?

Expected us to be so grateful for the scraps it threw our way. 

Respecting us so little along the way. 

Eff Spring. Long live the summertime!

The sweet scent of summer (AM)

Like most people I've been pretty damn cheesed off about this pathetic excuse for a spring. Maybe it's because all the rain has made life with this bullshit haircut more unbearable than I knew was possible. Maybe it's because I can't fit into my jeans and so have nothing to wear when the it is cold and wet. Maybe it's because it's been cold for the last 8 months and the reviving trip to North American summer only had reviving powers to last 6 to 8 weeks.Whatever it is I'm...cheesed off. I'm not saying this spring has been total bullshit. There have been nice days all over the place, I'll admit it. But there have also been so many bullshit cold wet days it's easy to forget the winners. And yesterday, yesterday was really the first taste of summer. Am I right?

 Like first in the morning I had to drive across town and it was hot and uncomfortable and I didn't like it much. But later in the day when I was at the pool I was pretty much loving the shit out of it.

After my swim (relax in the kids pool) I ran into a friend in the change room. She'd just arrived and complained about the heat "It's really hot. You know how you want it but then when it gets here you realise you are not prepared?" she said. I did know what she meant but after two hours in the pool I was pretty removed from that feeling. It wasn't long though until, waiting among a bunch of cu...people to be served some delicious ice cream at Messina I was hot and annoyed and I knew exactly what she meant. Hot hot heat can suck.

Tell that to the me that ate my dinner by the beach though as the sun set and boats sailed in.

Or the me that ate stone fruit salad for dessert.

The me that struggled to get comfortable for sleep due to heat would believe you though.

Summer, it makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you fall in love all over again.

Hard truths (AM)

It dawned on me this morning that it's almost the end of winter. There are just a few short days to go. 

Seriously, the days are getting longer, so there's literally only a few short days to go. When I realised this I immediately thought gee, winter wasn't so bad. Sure, there were some super cold days, but it hasn't been a daily battle for survival like some winters are. 

I started to think that perhaps I'm getting tougher, but had this nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. Like the 6 weeks I spent drinking beer and swimming in lakes in a northern summer while winter was sinking its icy cold fangs in to my home town.  So no, I'm not getting tougher. I'm just basically half way through winter. 

But you know what you guys? Though I'm not getting tougher, nor am I getting (more) stupid. Even though winter is technically over, believe me when I tell you that September is a cold and inhospitable month, and the month when the real damage gets done. You think it's going to get warmer and it doesn't and so you feel both cold AND betrayed by nature. It's a rough time. So at the risk of sounding like a negative nelly, don't believe the BOM when they say it's going to be 19 and mostly sunny today. And most of this week. 

The hell it is. 

Here I come (PM)

Oh, geez. I wonder what happened to that bollard. I hope he feels better soon.

Well, Mate, your European holiday looks and sounds beautiful. Those swans! Forget about it! And Iceland. Whoa!

But Melbourne has nice things like friends. And beautiful wintery parklands.

The last vestiges of autumn.

Maybe if you are lucky I will even cook you a delicious meal.

Wait does this sound familiar? 

In truth, it's pretty unlikely I'll cook you a meal, because in 3 weeks I’m heading to the North American summer. Where I will be seeing things like this:

And eating things like this:

Yeah, USA, here I come!